Chapter Fourteen –

Erik Weltvergessen had had enough of the bullshit. It was spouting in cascading waterfall form from each member of the Green Party's mouth, before falling with a splat onto the Formica surface of the table. Erik had studied the anatomy of the bull and had been especially fascinated with the faeces of the beast. This said, he had never before witnessed such a quantity of verbal dung come from so very few people.

"Of course," Began Barsingdale, having just taken another huge swig from his champagne glass. "Simon has met the queen." Weltvergessen rolled his eyes. They were onto sons again. He had already been informed that Philip Jensson's son worked for the President and that John Dyce's son had been to the moon. They would no doubt repeat themselves in the next few minutes.

"Excuse me, gentlemen." Weltvergessen said, standing up. "I am feeling rather tired. I must retire to my room." He left them in full flow.

Halfway up the stairs, he glanced at his watch. 12:55. how had it got so late? He trailed his fingers along the ornate wooden banister, caressing the mahogany. He liked wood. That was why he was campaigning against deforestation. Trees were nice. He passed two teenagers on the stairs. He recognised them from the band that had been playing earlier. He smiled at them and they nodded back, seemingly a little intimidated by the no doubt notorious scientist.

He turned the corner and smiled to himself as he unlocked the door to his room. Of course, that was when Micho Tenvité tried to hit him round the head with a rusty old poker.

In a quick, reflex action, Weltvergessen spun around before the poker connected with his skull. He grabbed the poker and used it to smack Micho round the face. Micho staggered backwards, out further into the hallway. Weltvergessen hastily darted through the door to his room and was just planning on shutting it firmly in the assassin's face when Micho smartly placed his foot in the door. As Weltvergessen slammed it, the solid wooden door smashed Micho's toes and he howled, waking up possibly the whole floor. Before heads started emerging out of doors, Micho threw himself into the room after Weltvergessen, swearing and clutching his mangled toes.

Unfortunately for the assassin, Weltvergessen was ready for him and had poised himself on top of the ornate antique cabinet in the hall. As soon as Micho stepped through the door, Weltvergessen pounced, throwing himself on top of him and clawing out bits of hair.

"What the f-" Micho's speech was cut short by the fist Weltvergessen had used to dislodge several of Micho's teeth. He screamed as, small white squares of bone landed on the plush carpet, accompanied only by the sickening rush of fresh blood. No mess huh? Ernich would just have to stick it.

Micho threw Weltvergessen off his back, where he landed face first onto the floor with a satisfying 'thunk'. He lay there groaning for a moment as Micho punched him in the back. This was perhaps not the most intellectual of approaches as the back is a great deal harder than the front. Micho's fist connected with Weltvergessen's spine with a crunch and the assassin's bones jarred much more painfully than the German's. Weltvergessen took this opportunity to grab Micho's fist to drag him nearer, kicking him sharply in the groin.

Micho saw this coming and pulled out the switchblade he kept in his sock. A quick flick of his wrist and Weltvergessen was toeless, his spats unable to shield him from the 9cm blade. Blood cascaded out onto the rug, making a strange pattern when accompanied with the floral design.

Weltvergessen, screaming and almost blind with pain, used every last energy source he could find within him, to pull himself up and head butt Tenvité while he seemed absorbed in the flow of blood. Micho reeled, screaming out onto the carpet.

Weltvergessen pulled himself up and limped over to the open plan lounge, where he picked up the ornate, silver standing lamp. This took him quite a while due to the lack of toes and when he turned round again, Micho was a few feet away, flick knife in hand.

Weltvergessen hit the assassin with the standard lamp in the stomach. Winded, Micho bent double, searching for some sort of air. Breathless, he vomited all over the leather settee. Slightly repulsed by this new development, Weltvergessen watched in awe as more and more vomit poured out of the assassin's mouth.

Recovering from his reverie, the German bent and retrieved the switch bale from the still vomiting form of the assassin. The blade was encrusted with blood, his own blood Weltvergessen realised with a sudden lurch of the stomach. He glanced back over towards the hall, where many of Tenvité's teeth and most of Weltvergessen's toes were now strewn, bathing happily in a pool of blood and bodily mucus.

Suddenly the monstrosity of the man before him overwhelmed Weltvergessen. He had never met him in his life, yet he was prepared to take him life for money. Never again would mummy be able to play 'This little piggy' with him. Where before the rhyme had lasted a couple of verses, the rhyme would consist of only: "This little piggy went to market...goodnight, love."

Tears of anger, pain, loss and revulsion filled the eyes of the German and he plunged the blade into the assassin's back, common sense playing no part in his actions...

*

The corridor was pretty boring so Prawn suggested that he and Amoeba station themselves outside Weltvergessen's actual room, not just the corridor. As they rounded the corner, they saw the head of Micho Tenvité disappear through the doorway, sounds of a struggle coming from Weltvergessen's room.

"Oh my god!" Amoeba exclaimed as they ran towards the door. "How did he get up here?"

"More importantly..." Prawn said, pulling out his phone. "I'm going to call the police."

"No!" Amoeba grabbed the phone off him. "Call MI6."

"Oh yeah." Prawn hit the homing device button on his phone and it bleeped.

"What do we do now?" Amoeba asked, wincing as she heard something break from inside the room.

"Go in...I suppose...." They exchanged looks.

"You first..." Amoeba shoved Prawn through the door...

*

No mess. Ernich hoped Micho Tenvité could deal with that. Of course he could, he was Micho Tenvité after all!

Ernich reached the end of the corridor and froze. There, in front of his room, was one of the known MI6 agents. All hell was breaking loose.