A/N: Hi ! So this chapter is up. I wanted to finish so I can update sooner and so here it is. This is just Finn's POV and about what really happened to him and stuff.
Sorry for the mistakes and all. Also, I just wanted to say here that I made Santana bisexual here because I really think that she really fit to be with a guy. No hate please. I just really like Samtana. :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Finn's POV
I decided to end our night by going to my place which is also in Manhattan. Thomas stopped in front of the hotel and when I looked at Rachel, her eyes were wide and her mouth agape. When we climbed out of the vehicle, she is still staring at the hotel like she can't believe that she was there.
"Y-you live here? At the Surrey hotel?" she asked me, not tearing her gaze from the place. I looked up and stare at the place too, looking if there is something amazing about it. I did see something about it, the floor where I live.
"I actually um, owned it." I said, hesitantly. I don't know why but I felt a little embarrassed to say it to her. I'm usually the type of guy who would present all of the things I owned to a person, but showing this to Rachel makes me a little bit shy about it.
Her head snapped up to me. "What? You owned this?"
I chuckled. "I thought you read everything about me in newspapers?"
"Well, yeah, but I didn't actually read everything about you. I just scanned the article and then throw it afterwards." She smiled.
I arched an eyebrow. "You really hate me that much?" I asked.
"No, of course not. I just wasn't that interested in you before since I know we were never be able to meet each other in person." She explained. "But I was wrong about that, I guess."
"Yeah, you really are." I smiled. "Come on, let's go" I held her and hand and lead her to the hotel and to the elevator, nodding at everyone who greeted us.
"So," she started. "You live in the Penthouse, right?"
I turned my head to her and nodded. "But sometimes at the Presidential suite when I have company."
"You owned the Presidential suite, too?" her eyes went wide again.
I chuckled. "It's not really a big deal."
"Of course for you it's not. I only been in a hotel when my best friend treated me on my 21st birthday and we just ate." She said. "This is just freaking amazing." She giggled.
"Well you can come here whenever you want and if you like you can stay there full time." I shrugged. Yeah, that could be a good thing to see every morning.
"I don't think that's a good idea." She shook her head, quite taken aback from what I've said.
"What? Don't you wanna see me every day?" I pouted.
"Of course I do. It's just, I think it's too soon for us to take such a huge step like that since – "
"You're right." I interrupted her. "Just forget about it." I said, giving my attention to the ascending numbers above the elevator. I'm not mad, maybe just disappointed but not mad. Well, maybe a little but not totally mad.
"Aw, come on. Don't be like that." She faced me and put her arms around me. "I would totally love to wake up every morning with you next to me but, it's really not the time to discuss something like this. Maybe I will be able to consider this after a few months but just not right now. Don't get upset about this." She rubbed and kisses my arms.
"No, it's fine." I turned to her. "You're right. I just, I just wanna be with you every day and it sucks that I have to wait for you every time after work."
The doors finally open and I grabbed her hand when we exit the elevator. I lead her to the front door of the penthouse. I took out the key card and opened it. I smiled at her before taking her hand and lead us inside.
I opened the lights and she started looking around, studying the whole place. Her eyes were still filled with wonder as she turn onto things. I just leaned back against the wall and watched her look around the place.
"This place looks amazing," she finally turns to me. "But I'm not seeing anything here that is yours. No picture frames or anything." She said, started to look around again.
"Well, I'm not usually here." I push away from the wall and walk closer to her. "This is just the place where I sleep, shower, change clothes, sometimes eat. My personal things are actually in my house in Los Angeles."
"Oh," she said. "I guess that's where your cars too, right?"
"Yes, eighteen of them." I nod.
"You have eighteen cars?" she gasped. "Did you even drive them all?"
"No, Thomas drives them all."
"You don't drive?"
"I know how, but I just don't."
She just nodded. I know she wanted to ask more but she's just stopping herself. Rachel might be a little curious about everything but she knows when to stop asking and sometimes I feel like I've been unfair to her since she still doesn't know a lot about me when she's been honest about me about everything. And if I really wanted this relationship to be more serious, then I have to man up and tell everything about myself.
"Can I use your restroom?" she asked before I can even talk.
"Yeah, of course. Come on I'll show you where it is." I lead her to the restroom and opened the door for her.
"Hold this for me for a minute." She passes me her purse and her phone before she entered and closed the door.
I went back to the living room to take off my coat and wait for her. Her phone suddenly chirped and when I stared at the screen it says it's from Blaine.
Hey, don't 4get 2morrow. Get urself free from ur boyfriend for once. I can't wait to get you alone for myself ;) I miss u xxx
Whoa. I was not expecting that. Who the fuck is this Blaine and why is he texting my girlfriend? Is Rachel cheating on me? It can't be. Rachel won't do that. But what the fuck is this? I put her phone to the coffee table and sit at the couch. I don't know what to think. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. Maybe Blaine is just his friend like me and Santana type of friends. But I don't send texts like this to Santana. I'll just ask her. That's the only way I'm going to know. I just need to get myself calm and don't be paranoid about this.
She went back and sat next to me. I looked at her and I wanted to ask but damn it, I'm starting to get mad again.
"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked when she saw the look on my face. I tried to act cool but I just can't help it, alright?
"Nothing. Do you want something to drink?" I stood and went to the kitchen to get something, my excuse to walk this shit off from my system.
"Um, no, I'm fine." She followed me.
"Okay. Are you hungry?" I opened the fridge and tried to find something to eat but I can't focus since Rachel is standing right next to me.
"Finn." She puts her hand to my arm and I turned to look at her. "What's wrong?"
I closed the door after getting a bottle of water and turned to her. "Who's Blaine?"
"What?" she asked. "How do you know Blaine?"
"He just texted you. He said he wanted you for himself tomorrow." I turned away from her and find myself analyzing the kitchen bar for some reason. I opened the bottle and drank on it. I need alcohol and lots of it if I was right about this.
I turned back to her when she doesn't speak. She's just standing in front of me and she's smiling! I can't believe this. I'm standing in here wondering if my girlfriend is cheating on me with this Blaine and she's just smiling at me.
"You're jealous of Blaine?"
"Of course I am. I'm your boyfriend, Rachel. I should be jealous of every guy who gets close to you. And you're just smiling at me like it's not a big deal." I snapped at her but she doesn't stop herself from smiling. What is her problem?
"Look," she steps close to me. "Blaine is my friend. And yes I'm smiling at you because if I told Blaine about this, he was just going to do more than smiling. Finn, Blaine is my best friend and happens to be swinging the other way."
I took out a breath that I didn't know I'm holding. I'm right. Rachel is not cheating on me. And I also feel completely like an idiot right now.
"I'm sorry if I didn't tell you about him before. I guess I was always distracted and forgot to introduce him to you. And though it's cute that you're getting jealous to him, I don't think you should worry about that. I'm not gonna cheat on you Finn. You're my only love."
I sighed. "I know you won't do that. I'm telling that to myself earlier while I wait for you to explain and I was right. I know I was right. It's not you that I'm worried about. It's them. Whenever I'm with you, there's always a guy or two who would turned to heads just to check you out and all I want to punch their faces for even looking. And I'm sorry if I lashed out on you. I guess I still have trust issues since I'm rusty about this but I trust you. I just don't trust them."
"It's okay. I understand it. It's normal for a person to get jealous. I get jealous too every time I saw you talking to other women and I tried my best not to lash out at you and wait for you to explain things. But I don't know, you just always know whenever I'm around and you always made sure that I'm the only one for you."
"It's because you are, Rach." I smiled at her.
"I know. And you are for me too." She nodded. I lift her hand and planted a kiss on the back of it. "I will introduce you to Blaine soon and I know you'll gonna like him because he already likes you."
I arched a brow. "You talk to him about me?"
"Yeah, I'm a proud girlfriend of Mr. Hudson." She grinned and giggled when I pulled her close to me and give her a kiss.
"Of course you are." I chuckled when she hit me in the arm. "Come on, I'll give you a tour to the suite." I held her hand and walked out of the kitchen.
I showed her every parts of the place. From every door we stepped in, we would stay for a little to make out until we need to catch our breaths. It was fun every moment of it. I never thought that giving your girlfriend a tour on your place would make me so hot and bothered while I maintain my focus to show her everything. I think I could get used to this every time she's here.
The last stop, or the room that I intently showed her last, is my bedroom. She walks inside and look around like she did to the other rooms and turned to me and smiled.
"Can we make out in here, too?" she asked.
"Absolutely." I said and step closer to her and she takes a step back. We did this sort of dance until the back of her legs touched the side of the bed and she slowly laid herself onto it.
I was excited and nervous and aroused and so turned on at the same time. Yes, I know this is only a make out but anything is possible now. Rachel is getting bolder. She says and does a lot of things that I never thought she would because I thought she was a prude, Santana's word, not mine.
To be honest, I'm glad that she's like that because now I can know what she wants and when she curled up her finger, gesturing that I come closer to her, that's when I lose it. I took off my coat and tie as fast as I could, making her giggle a little and sat up. I step closer and stop in front of her. She stared up at me, waiting for my next move and I just bend down until we're on the same eye level.
I looked into her eyes and find something in them to know what she is feeling. She's scared but still trusting herself to me. I hesitated myself for a while, giving her time to back out or tell me to don't do something she won't like. She raises her hand to find mine and brought it closer to her to give it a kiss. She raised her head to look back to me and smiled softly. Right then I knew that she trusted me no matter what.
I leaned closer to her and kissed her softly. She wrapped her arms around me my neck as we both lie on the bed, me on top of her. As always, the soft and gentle kisses became a full blown make out session. Clothes were being discarded from our bodies one by one until the only ones that are left are our under wears.
I propped myself with my elbows, wanting to look at her whole body. If she was hot when you look at her everyday with her clothes on, she was way, way hotter when she's just on her undergarments.
"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life." I whispered softly at her, still staring at her body. My eyes went back to her eyes and I found her flushed and biting her lip.
"You know, Santana said something about what she read on that book about this Grey guy, and that guy is getting turned on a lot when her girl is biting his lip," I whispered as I stare at her lips. "I guess I can see the point of it." And with that, I crashed my lips on hers again, biting her lip a bit and gaining a moan from her.
I slowly opened my eyes as I kiss her and it surprises me that hers are already opened. I leaned back and stare at her for a moment. The only thing that my mind is getting at is that Bruno Mars song that I heard once about this girl who stayed her eyes open while the guy kisses her. That song is about heartbreak and i don't think that that fit on this situation right now.
"Are you okay?" I asked, although I know she's not. Yeah, stupid question.
"Um, y-yeah. I-I just, I'm just not sure if I'm ready to have sex." She mumbled the last word, her hands starting to play in between us as she stares at them.
I propped myself in one elbow and use my other hand to lift her chin up. She looks worried, that's for sure but I didn't know that she's expecting that to happen. It's my fault actually because I brought her here and girls always think about that kind of stuff when a guy bring them to his house, alone.
The truth is, I really wanted that to happen. I'm a guy, of course I want that to happen every time I bring a girl somewhere with just the two of us. But she isn't just a random girl and this is just not another random hook up. Rachel Berry is lying naked beneath me and she's frightened about this and I should have thought about this before I put her into bed and lay on top of her.
"Hey, we don't have to do that tonight if you don't want to, Rach." I said softly to her. "I'm not asking you to do something you don't want. This is good enough for me."
"I know, Finn, but, I really wanted to, you know. I really wanted this. I'm scared because I don't know what should I do and I heard that it hurts so bad especially if you're a virgin and I don't know if I could –"
I crashed my lips to her to stop her from rambling. She sighed and reciprocated it as she ran her hands from my neck to my back. It made me so hard just knowing that we're almost skin to skin. She clasped her thighs around my torso and grind on me. The friction we made is just so, so good and it sucks to know that the only thing that's in between are our underwear.
I tore my lips from her and stared at her again. "If it isn't okay for you, then we won't do anything that's not okay with you." I smiled softly at her. "We'll just lay here if you want, and although I honestly wanted it, I don't think it is the right time since, we still haven't been really open about our lives."
"I know you've been patient and cool about this when I told you and I really appreciated it," I continued, sliding off of her and pulling her close to me as we lay down on the bed.
I stared at the ceiling for a moment while she waited for me to speak again. She put her head on my chest, her finger drawing circles on my chest as she waited.
I think about all the different scenarios that can happen once I told her everything and I come up with all the worst things that can happen. I'm not being pessimistic; I just know that if everything is out of the bag, everything may change. She might look at me differently, or worst she might leave and never speak to me again.
"My dad and I, we're pretty close when I was growing up." I started, still staring at the ceiling. "I know I told you that before but it's just the only thing that I remember about him. When I was in 5th grade, he joined the army and was gone for too long. He returned when I was in my junior year at high school. I thought that when I get to see him again that I'd be hugging him and stuff but I can't, because I don't even know him anymore.
"The first thing that I did when I found him at our house is run upstairs to change my clothes and left the house. I don't know where I was supposed to go but I just want to get out of that house. I end up in Puck's place and he always was there to listen and hang out." I took a glance at Rachel and she already stops her finger from playing and focused herself in me.
"Ever since that day, it became my daily ritual. I went to school and went home just to change my clothes and went out, not speaking to anyone, including my mom. My mom wasn't always like that, just so you know," I chuckled. "Anyways, she always spoke to me and tried to knock some sense into me. I did talk to him but when I just started to get mad when he answered every question I asked so I stormed out of the house and went to Puck's again."
I paused. I took a deep breath and hesitated. "My dad, he went to Puck's house to pick me up. I was already drunk but I knew what was happening. I didn't want to come with him so Puck helped him to drag me to his car. When we were on our way home, we got into a huge fight again that it made want to get out of the car. I told him to pull over and let me go but he refused every time. So I, I – I don't know what I was thinking that day, Rachel. I'm just, angry and frustrated that I want to just walk it off. So grab the wheel and fought with him to pull over. He tried pushing me away from the steering wheel that we didn't see that we're already on the wrong side of the road and a truck that was driving too fast slammed into our car."
I stopped to look at her, and she wasn't stating at me anymore and she doesn't say anything, too. She just lay there and i don't know what she was thinking.
"Rachel?"
She slowly turned her head to face me and I saw pity and concern in her eyes. The good thing about it is I didn't see any disgust or something that will tell me that she hated me because of what happened, the look that I saw in my mom that day at the hospital wasn't visible in her eyes.
"I woke up in the hospital and I saw my mom crying," I continued. "I tried to talk to her but she won't let me." I sighed. "That's the first time that she'd been like that to me and I know she's going to be like that as long as she will see me."
"I never had someone to turn to after that day, Rach. I needed someone to just be there for me because it was hard for me, too. I did something that I regretted and all I do was blame myself for what I've done. No one had been there to stay with me while I grieve. Not even my mom. That's why I started to act like I was old enough to be by myself. I started to figure out all the things on my own while I did everything that I can do for my mom to be proud of me and forgive me for what I did. She never did, until now."
She pushed herself up to stare at me. "Finn, not all of it was your fault. It was an accident and – "
"It was accident that I caused Rachel. I'm the only one to blame. No one else but me." I cut her.
"Yes, I know that but it doesn't mean that you have to blame it all to yourself. You're frustrated and angry and drunk that you have no idea what you're doing. And it's been what, 11 years? I think you need to give yourself a little sympathy and move on. You can't be this way forever, blaming yourself everyday for what happened."
"But it's haunting me every day, Rachel. Nightmares about that day and it always remind me of everything that happened. It happened because of me."
"Hey," she holds my face, making me look at her. "Stop this. I understand why you're doing this to yourself but don't you think if you try and seek help about this?" she asked, reluctantly.
"What?" I sat up and pull her hands from my face. "Seek help? Like for crazy people?" I asked, a bit confused and mad from what she said. She thought that I need some help and I don't get that.
"No, Finn. I don't mean it like that." She explains. "I just think that all of those dreams came from the trauma that was caused by the accident and I think you should see someone about it since it's not normal for you to be like that."
I sighed. I heard that thing about going to some counselor or some shit before from Santana. She and Sam are the only people who know about my dreams at night. And I ignored what they suggested to me about that and I think I'm just going to ignore it again.
It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I don't feel comfortable talking to some stranger about my problems. Aside from that, I'm not really the kind of person that follows someone who orders me what to do with my life. I thought about it before and every time I do, I just keep on backing out with the same reasons in my head so I guess that's why until now I'm still suffering from this problem.
"Hey," Rachel cut me from my thoughts. She move closer to me and held my hand. "I'm not forcing you to do anything you don't want, okay? I just think that it's a good idea if you try to see one, but if you don't want then it's fine. Just forget that I mentioned it, okay? I'll be here whatever you do." She smiled apologetically.
"I actually thought about that before," I stared at her. "Sam and Santana mentioned it and I thought that it's bullshit and ignored them. But you're right, I guess. I'll think about it, okay?"
She nodded and kisses me. "I'm sorry. About everything that happened to you. I wish I can do something to help just to make you feel better."
"Well, you already did. I haven't had nightmares that much since we'd been together. I think the fact that I have you in my life now makes me feel at ease or something."
She flushed and bit her lip. "Well, I'm glad that it did something good." She smiled.
"Okay, I think it's time for us to go to sleep." I said. "I know you don't want to be late for your work tomorrow and I know for a fact that if I suggest that you should not come to work tomorrow, you will just say no and stuff," I look at the nightstand. "Well, scratch that. You'll be going to go to work later since it's already 2 am." I pulled her down to lie on the bed with me.
"Wait," she turned to me. "You've been the one talking about your past all this time. I think I should tell you something about mine, too."
"We can do it tomorrow, Rach. I know you're tired from all that's happened today."
"Okay. Although I'm not entirely okay with me sleeping on your house tonight, I guess I'll make an exception just for this day." She smiled and then yawn.
"Goodnight, baby. I love you." I kissed her head and pulled her closer to me.
"Goodnight. I love you more." She mumbled.
A/N: So I know it's a bit boring and I kinda hated this chapter too for some reason. I just think that it's a little fast and all. Anyway, let me know what you think. :)
Next chapter: Finn will be showing his gift to Sam and Santana and it's going to be a bit funny in my opinion. Also, Rachel will have a visit from someone. Finn and Blaine will be meeting. Blaine will finally tell Rachel who is he dating.
Reviews are awesome. I know a lot of people stopped reading Finchel fics so I'm a bit worried not having any reviews so please to all people who is still reading, please leave some. Thank you !
P.S. What'd you think about 'A Katy or A Gaga' episode? Applause is my favorite song from the episode because guys rule ! XD Disappointed because the ratings keeps on getting low and i know I should expect this because of everything that happens plus the bad storylines and stuff. But still, i don't want glee to end :) Let me know what you think of the episode too :)