Another short chapter this time.

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Wendy's Guide to the Unexplained

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Wendy and Soos stood in the forest. The boy set up a camera while the girl shuffled through some index cards.

"Okay Soos, everything ready?"

"Yep."

"Am I in frame?"

"Yep."

"Okay, let's do this." Wendy cleared her throat and spoke to the camera. "Hey everybody. Welcome to another edition of Wendy's Guide to the Unexplained."

The redhead held up a crude cardboard sign.

"Anomaly number 23: The Feral Singers."

The girl moved to a line of bushes behind her. Parting the leaves, she revealed a clearing full of beautiful blonde men. The majestic creatures pranced about the meadow, singing in groups of five.

"I first discovered them rooting through my trash." Wendy whispered.

… … …

The Corduroy family were eating breakfast when they heard a crash from the yard.

"Sounds like the possums are back." Manly Dan growled. "Whose turn is it to chase them off?" He pulled a baseball bat full of nails from beneath the table.

"Wendy's." The three brothers said.

"Ugh, fine." The girl muttered, taking the bat.

She went outside, heading for the trashcans. Expecting furry vermin, Wendy was shocked by what she actually saw: A perfect behind was sticking out of the bin. When she walked closer, a blonde head and hypnotic blue eyes turned to her. The girl and creature stared silently at each other for a moment, before the beautiful beast scurried off on all fours.

… … …

"Now that I've tracked them down, I'm ready to find out who, or what, they are."

The camera panned out to get a full view of the clearing. There were dozens of the creatures, almost indistinguishable from each other aside from their hair and clothing.

"My observations have proven to be inconclusive so far." Wendy said. "Biologically, they seem to be human, but they don't appear to have our level of intelligence."

Soos zoomed in on one of the men making-out with a tree.

"Their social structure is apparently divided into groups of five." Wendy continued. "Wait, hold on. Soos! Get a close up on that."

Following the redhead's finger, Soos turned the camera towards three boys singing to a deer.

"Is this anomalous behavior? Or is their hierarchy more complex than I thought?"

The tweens watched the choreographed number, almost as entranced as the doe. Then, without warning, two more boys appeared from the brush on either side of the animal. They tackled it to the ground, and started tearing at its flesh with predatory ferocity.

"Holy!" Wendy screamed, grabbing Soos and pulling him away from the clearing.

:::::::Twenty:::::::

"Okay." Wendy set the camera on a tripod, standing in front of it nervously. "Since this has turned out to be a little more complicated than I first thought, I've gathered a team of experts to help with this investigation."

The redhead walked over to Soos, Mabel, and Dipper.

"So, uh, what are we doing?" Mabel asked.

"We're here to figure out…" Wendy paused dramatically. "This!"

She pulled the bushes away, revealing the blondes' clearing.

The siblings gasped.

"It's Sev'ral Timez." Mabel whispered. "But how? There must be fifty of 'em."

"You know who they are?" The redhead asked.

"They're a boyband I set free a couple years ago." The teen explained. "They're clones who were kept in captivity by an evil producer guy."

"Clones? Seriously?"

"Oh yeah." Dipper said. "Nearly every popstar you know was genetically engineered by their record company."

"Uh… Is that legal?" Soos asked.

"Nope."

"But where'd the rest come from?" Mabel asked.

High pitch chirping caught the friends' attention. Under a nearby tree was a pile of grass and leaves. Cautiously, the teens pulled the top away from the mound. There they found a litter of infants, identical to the adults except in size.

"Aww!" Mabel cooed, picking one up.

"No." Dipper said bluntly.

"But they're so little and cute!"

"You already have a pig and a cat." The boy reasoned. "How do you expect to take care of a popstar?"

"Oh, you're only saying that 'cause-"

But Mabel's argument was interrupted by a hoarse call. In front of the group was a Sev'ral Timez, its eyes narrowed. More beautiful men joined the first, and as a unit, they charged the nest-thieves.

All the camera captured were images of Wendy's running feet. In the background, Mabel could be heard shouting, "Don't go into the long grass! Don't go into the long grass!"

:::::::::Three::::::::

"Okay. We've regrouped at Sev'ral Timez's clearing, mostly unharmed." Wendy set the camera back up, her three friends sat behind her, putting bandages on bite-marks.

"How did this happen?" Mabel said. "There were only five males. How could they breed?"

The group was silent for a moment before Dipper gasped in realization, "Amphibian DNA."

"Huh?"

"When we salvaged those cloning pods from the rec-center," He explained. "The data said they filled the sequence gaps in the boyband genome with amphibian DNA. Some species of frogs are able to spontaneously change their sex in the right conditions. That must be how Sev'ral Timez was able to reproduce."

"Life found a way." Mabel said in awe.

"So… they're a whole new species?" Soos asked.

"Yes." Dipper said. "A new species of naturally reproducing popstars."

The teen turned to Wendy, a serious expression overtaking his face.

"You can't post this video. Not yet at least."

"What? Why not?" The girl was confused.

"This is an entirely new lifeform." He said. "If people know they exist, they'll be hunted down and exploited. These creatures deserve the chance to live free. We may have made them, but it's like Mabel said, 'life found a way,' we have no right to interfere anymore."

Soos sniffled, "That was beautiful dude."

Wendy turned towards the camera. "Alright... if you say so. This has been Wendy's Guide to the Unexplained: Anomaly Number 23. To be archived until further notice."

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This chapter's dedicated to: Mango Supreme and MaryHoudini 7̃0