They searched themselves into several dead ends before Ryan and Esposito had to physically push her toward the elevator to get her to go home. They still didn't have much, just a crushed black escalade with no owner. It's like they were chasing a ghost. She just hoped that the ghost wasn't Castle's.

It's late when she makes it back to the loft. All the lights are off except for the one in their bedroom. She lets her heart get excited that maybe he found his way home and he's waiting for her. But she quickly realizes how unlikely that is and that someone probably just left the light on for her, so the loft wouldn't be pitch black when she got home.

She stands in the doorway to their bedroom for a while, not being able to step into it further. She's never spent the night here without him. The bed suddenly looks too big for just her and she wishes she could retreat back to her old apartment. But someone else lives there now. This is her home, her home with him.

Kate steps over to his dresser and pulls out one of his T-shirts. She inhales his scent from it and gets the overwhelming need to be surrounded by it. She slips out of her clothes from the day and then tugs the T-shirt on over her head. She's swimming in it, his frame being so much larger than hers, but it's the closest thing she has to his embrace right now.

The letter he left her this morning is still sitting on his pillow. She picks the note up and stares at his handwriting, curling into his side of the bed. His pillow smells like that mousse he insists on putting in his hair. She buries her face in it as the tears come again.

She wonders what they're doing to him right now. If they're torturing him. If they're simply holding him for ransom to get to her. She prays that he's okay. That she'll get him back all in one piece. She barely survived her mother's death; she's not sure she could make it through his.

She starts crying harder and her body starts shaking from the effort of it. She really shouldn't be left alone to her own thoughts right now because all she can do is picture worse case scenarios. She just wants him back. She needs him.

Suddenly, she feels arms slip around her torso. Kate glances down at the pink nail polish covered nails.

"I didn't even here you come in," she says softly.

"You were crying pretty hard," Addison says from her back.

Kate shifts around so she's hugging Addison from the front. Her daughter burrows into her chest, and she places a kiss to the top of her head.

"Did you figure anything out?" the girl asks.

"No. Not really."

"Whoever it is that has him…do you think they're hurting him?"

Kate winces. "I hope not."

She brushes back one of Addison's curls, realizing how much the way she styled her hair for the wedding makes her look even more like her mini me.

"What are you doing up this late?" Kate asks.

"Waiting for you."

Kate squeezes her tighter.

"Do you want me to sleep here with you tonight?"

She nods, releasing her grip on Addison and rolling onto her back.

"Try and sleep, Mom," Addison tells her. "The more you torture yourself with thoughts about what's happening to him, the worse they're going to get."

She's still awake long after Addison dozes off. She can't sleep knowing that he's not home safe. And sleeping feels like she's doing nothing to bring him home. It's a stupid thought and she knows it. People need to sleep. But that doesn't stop her from getting out of bed and wandering into his office.

Kate sits down in his chair behind his desk and stares at his sleeping computer. She wonders if there are any answers on it. Tells herself it's okay to snoop as long as she's doing it to save him. She opens the lid and swipes her finger across the mouse pad to wake it up. The password screen comes up and she stares at his blinking cursor.

She tries a few things to no avail and then stops before she locks herself out.

"Kate?"

She looks up and sees Alexis standing in the doorway.

"I thought maybe I could find something to help us. But I don't know his password."

"It's pookiebear."

Kate raises an eyebrow at her.

Alexis shrugs, stepping further into the office. "Long story, don't ask."

Kate types it in and is instantly greeted with his background: a picture of the two of them laughing about something or another. She doesn't even remember taking it.

"What's this photo from?" she asks. "The one that's his background?"

Alexis moves to stand behind her.

"I took that," she smiles. "He never showed it to you?"

Kate shakes her head.

"Well you were over here one night and I had just gotten my new camera and was messing around with it. This just sort of happened."

"I want it," she says, resisting the urge to trace her fingers over his face on the screen. "Can you get me a copy?"

"Sure."

Kate nods and brings up his internet, pulling up his browser history. There are a lot of searches about metal chains and she wonders what he's getting Nikki into this time. ESPN baseball scores, so that's how he's been keeping up to date with the Yankees games. She knew he wasn't actually watching them.

"Seeing anything?" she asks Alexis.

"What's that?" the girl asks, pointing to the item at the top of the list.

The title of the webpage doesn't make it blatantly obvious what it is so Kate clicks on it. Her heart catches in her throat when the page finishes loading. This must have been the wedding present he went to go get her this morning.

"What is it?" Alexis asks.

"It's a music box," Kate says softly. "Last Christmas I was telling him about the one my mom had when I was little. She told me that her mom, my grandmother obviously, gave it to her on her wedding day. And she told me that when I was old enough and when I found the right man, she would give it to me on my wedding day. But I have no idea what happened to it. So he…he was going to give me my own."

"That's the present he was talking about going to get you this morning. Kate, it's a lead!"

She nods and jots down the address to the store from the webpage. "The boys and I will go tomorrow, see if the shop owner knows anything. But I doubt it will get us anywhere. Castle was already en route to the Hamptons when he was taken."

She yawns, scrubbing a hand through her hair. "What are you doing up anyway?"

"I couldn't sleep. I came down to raid the kitchen and saw the light on in here."

"I get that."

"Oh and Addison's not in her bed?"

Kate sighs. "I know. She's in mine."

Alexis moves over and sinks down into one of the plush chairs in his office. "You know if this had happened a couple of years ago, I would have blamed you for this."

"But you don't blame me now? Cause I do."

"You're not the one who took him."

"No, but his involvement with me and my cases is the reason he's gone."

"Again, if it was a couple of years ago, that would have been my reasoning too," Alexis starts. "But my dad…he knew what he was getting himself into. The longer he stayed, the more near death experiences he underwent, he knew what being your partner entailed. And yes, he stayed because he fell in love with you. But you can't blame yourself because he willingly put himself at risk. He loves being a pretend cop, and you are not the sole reason that he loves it."

"Thank you," Kate says softly, closing out of his browser. "And thank you for how great you've been with Addison. I haven't really had the chance to thank you for that yet."

"Well if things had gone as planned today, she'd be my sister. And I've always wanted one of those."

Kate smiles. "I used to too. Especially around the time my mom died and my dad lost himself to alcohol. I really could have used a sibling then."

"Have you and Dad talked about it? Having a baby together that is."

"Sort of. But I think it's going to happen. I hate to break it to you, but your only child days are over."

Alexis laughs. "This worked out perfectly. I got to be the spoiled princess growing up, and now I get to be the fun big sister and I'll have a support system when you guys get old."

Kate raises an eyebrow at her. "When we get old?"

"Well I didn't want to say when you die…"

That actually gets Kate to laugh. It's the first time since all of this chaos started that she's been able to.

Alexis looks over at the clock. "It's after four. Any chance of you going to bed anytime soon?"

"I'm not even tired. Just worried and kind of sick to my stomach. What about you?"

She shrugs. "I feel like I should at least try."

"We're going to find him, Alexis. I won't stop looking until we do."

Kate chews on her lower lip staring at the murder board at the precinct. The last time his picture was up on that board, Jerry Tyson was framing him for murder.

"The shop owner was a dead end," Ryan says, coming up behind her.

"I figured he would be."

"What now?"

She spins away from the board, sees Esposito heading towards them with a coffee cup from her favorite place in hand. Leave it to him to fill in for Castle. She takes it from him graciously, needing the caffeine after her sleepless night.

"Have we traced the escalade anywhere yet?" she asks.

Ryan shakes his head.

"Okay well have we gotten any new leads on Addie's parents' case?"

"You really want to deal with that right now?" Esposito asks, confused.

She takes a long sip of coffee, hoping the liquid will warm the chill stuck in her bones. It doesn't.

"I think they're connected."

"Wait, you think the person that brutally murdered that couple is the same one who kidnapped Castle?" Ryan asks.

"On what grounds are those connected?" Esposito asks.

"Call it a hunch."

"Kate –" Esposito starts.

"Look, Castle's been saying it for weeks. Their murder was not random, it was calculated. Because someone found out that Addison is my daughter. And now someone has my fiancé."

"Those are two very different things, Beckett," Ryan tells her.

"Just look into it, will you?" she asks. "There has to be something there. I know it."

The boys exchange a glance and head back over to their computers. She turns back to the murder board and stares at his picture, thinking that maybe if she looks at it hard enough, it will keep him alive.

AN: Shout out to alwayswiththecoffee aka Nadia from tumblr for the lovely new cover art!