Chapter 14: Narwhals, Narwhals swimming in the ocean!

Disclaimer: I do not own the song Narwhals, or Bleach!

Whoop! I'm trying to write as many as I can before my writers block comes back! So, I will write as many chapters as possible, and slowly leak them out to give me more time to think :)

Me:... huh?

Dad: you heard me... I can't believe it's come to this.. but you HAVE to go to Seiretei.

Gin: I wish I could come... but I have ta stay here and guard this area -.-

Me:... and may I ask why?

Dad: well, my work is gonna risk you, your mom not so much. But you DEFINITELY.

Me: why?

Mom:... we will tell you when this is over.

Me:... okay... Fudge. God Darn it. Imma gonna be soza bored there.

Gin: the profanity! Ahaha, don't worry. There hasn't been many hollow attacks, so hopefully I will be able to be relieved early.

Me:... fine. By, see you guys later.

Dad: bye!

Mom: take care!

Gin: Torture Seiretei on behalf of me.

Me: sure thing.

And I leave. Now, it's about around time school started, so I couldn't ask anyone to help me, and Nicci was busy with healing people from our popcorn aftermath, and no one would let me near anything that could be used to torture them. so.. I improvised.

I was REALLY bored, so I went to Shunsui... and then I had an idea, a brilliant idea.

I snuck around his desk, and surprised him.

Me: Captain! You should be doing your paper work! Not sleeping! *imitating Nanao's voice*

Shunsui: MY LOVELY NANAO-CHA-

Me: Pervert. (regular voice.)

Shunsui freezes, and looks at me.

Shunsui: oh, ahaha, Cooly, what brings you to my office?

Me: oh, nuthin, wanna make a bet?

Shunsui:... About what?

Me: if I can manage to say the entire English Alphabet backwards under 20 seconds, from memory I win. If I don't I lose. Winner gets to choose loser's punishment.

Shunsui: ahaha, cute, alright. But I will have you working like a horse. Ready... go!

Me: *takes deep breath* zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfe *deep breath* dcba.

Shunsui's are as wide as saucers, as he tries to see if I'm correct. He breathes out in resignation.

Shunsui: alright, what do you want to have me do?

Me: well, but this on. *hands big box over* and be able to sing this song perfectly. *hands sheet of paper* if you fail to do so, then I will torture you for all eternity!

Shunsui: alright, let me practice.

I leave and hum happily. A few minutes later, Shunsui looks in the box and stares at it's contents. He quickly finds the script, and reads it over. When he's finished, his mouth is wide open. What have I gotten myself into? He wonders as he puts on the costume and starts to practice quietly.

I laugh evilly.

Me: ahaha, this is gonna be fun indeed!

I shunpo to squad 12.

Me:.. so what do you say?

Kurotsuchi: I agree, it would be a pretty funny, and a nice time to test it out. Alright. Here.

He hands me 8 vials with unknown liquids in them.

Me: thank you! Love you!~

Kurotsuchi: Let me know what happens!

I shunpo to squad four.

Nicci blocks my way.

Nicci: you know, Captain hitsugaya is in there. You might actually kill him.

Me: but! *whispers*

Nicci: AHAHAHA! I can't wait to see that! Give me the purple thing, and I'll do it for you.

Me: YAYZ! You're the best! *hugs*

Nicci: *hugs back* your welcome! I'll bring him up.

Me: also, could you get seven more people for me?

Nicci: *grins* sure!

Me: alright. Kira, Hisagi, Kenpachi, Ukitake, Ichigo, Renji, and Byakuya.

Nicci: AHAHA! That'll be a sight! Alright! Give me the rest of the vials.

I toss her the vials.

Me: okay, and then give them these pieces of paper, and have them put these on once they're under the influence. *places eight boxes in front of her.*

Nicci: this is a suicide mission...

Me: it's like knocking on deaths door... but...

Nicci: imma gonna ding dong ditch him!

Me: Alright! Now go!

she now goes off with the eight vials and eight boxes. I chuckle evilly. Thank you YouTube. I get my video tape ready, and wait in squad 5's courtyard. Shunsui appears, and starts to get ready, when he is suddenly surrounded by Kira, Hisagi, Kenpachi, Ukitake, Ichigo, Renji, and Byakuya. They all have stupid grins on their face, and are wearing Narwhal costumes. Nicci appears next to me.

Nicci: I did it!

Me: sweet! How did you get Ichigo?

Nicci: easy, I told him that there was a Hollow invasion in Seiretei. I quickly hid his shinigami badge, and told him that if he drank this liquid, he could go... and he bought it.

Me: ahaha, nice.

Nicci: thanks, oh! It's starting!

As one, the nine shinigami start to sing the Narwhal song.

"Narwhals narwhals swimmin in the ocean!

Causing a commotion, cuz they are so awesome.

Narwhals Narwhals swimmin in the ocean,

Pretty big and pretty white."

*They all spin around once.*

"They'd beat a polar bear in a fight."

*they all make a dramatic punch and twirl from the momentum*

Like an underwater unicorn,

they've got a kick-a** facial horn!

They're the Jedi of the sea!"

*Get's out zanpakutos and swings 'em around once.*

And Kenpachi comes out, with a telescope.

"And they stop cathulu from eating ye!"

*pause* *at a slower pace.*

"Narwhals, they are narwhals. Narwhals, inventors of the Shish kabob.!"

and they repeated that over, and over, and over again. Until about 5 hours later, they actually collapsed, twitching.

Nicci: isn't there more to that last verse?

Me: yeah, but I censored it for our younger readers out there.

Nicci: ohhh. BUT THAT WAS HILARIOUS! what did I give them?

Me: oh, some sort of thing that made them high. I don't know what it was, but it sure worked. It makes them follow whatever is written on the piece of paper, except Shunsui, until they are no longer high.

Nicci: except Shunsui?

Me: yeah, I actually tricked him. That was fun.

Nicci:... you are sooo evil.

Me: yeah... I'm a headin home.

Nicci: see ya! I'll upload this to youtube.

Me: 'kay! PEACE!

Nicci: bye.

I return home, only to find that my parents are talking with someone. I freeze.

Dad:... Cooly, I thought you were GONE.

Me: ahaha, I forgot something...

Mom: well, I gu-

Man: Cooly! It's been so long! Give your uncle a hug!

Me: huh?

Dad: Cooly... this is your Uncle, my brother. He is like you, only... he's old.

Me: yeah, yeah, where's Gin? I gotta show him somethin.

Mom: show him what?

Me: nuthin, thought it might cheer him up though.

Dad: he's in your room, sulking.

Me: kay!

I run up to our room, and see Gin soiling my bedsheets with his stupid tears. He looks up.

Gin: COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLYYYYYY! *Tackle hugs me* I've been so BORED!

Me: ahha, I have something good to show you.

I show him the video.

Gin: BWAHAHAHA! THAT'S HILARIOUS! HOW DID JYA GET IT?

Me: Drugs solve everything lol.

Gin: hahaha, hey, who's the dude downstairs?

Me: he's my uncle apparently.

Gin: ohhhh... hmmm, so, how was it? Tricking them?

Me: It was so cool! so...

and I continued with my explanation for 2 hours... I didn't know why my parents wanted me to avoid my uncle... but that is a story for another chapter... the end.

What do yo think? I'm trying to create as many chapters as I can before that blasted writers block hits me again! Well, seeya!

Sincerely,
Cooly :)