Hey!

Thank you all you sexy people for the reviews and adds, I love ya!

On the life front I hate my new job and I want my shows back and off summer break already!

The song is 'Speechless' by Lady Gaga but I'm thinking I should have used 'I try' by Macy Gray or 'I'm going Down' by Mary J Blige instead...but done now

As usual I dunno how I feel about this chapter

Enjoy!

P.S. When I was uploading it said something about my 15 chapter limit or something or other, can someone explain how I can like fix this?

Speechless

Bonnie felt awkward letting herself into the Salvatore residence. She hadn't been there since...well she didn't want to dwell on that right now. She knew that Stefan wasn't home, she could not feel even a twinge of his tortured, broody presence in the pristine house. Running a unsure hand through her hair she wondered if she should wait in her car until he returned...no...that would be stupid, he would just worry that she was still broken after...she forced her eyes to slam to a close and her mouth to suck in a breath, no, she would not think about her breakup with Damon. Not here, not now when she could feel his aura so poignantly in these surroundings. She sure as Hell did not need another night of girl power either, she loved Caroline and Elena dearly but if she wanted to cry it out into a pillow they should let her. It must be healthy on some level. Moving up the polished oak staircase Bonnie's slender fingers ran up the banister and her nails made a gentle scrapping sound, the electricity of the lightbulbs in the house stuttered on and off around her as she remembered a Sunday morning running up the stairs, away from Damon.

"You have a set of matching pyjama's?" Bonnie's perfectly arched eyebrow lifted. She was kneeling besides Damon's open wardrobe raiding the endless piles of clothes, asking him questions about where he had got them from.

Damon, lounged on his bed flipping through her copy of Cosmopolitan, his mouth curled but he did not look up from the page, "why so surprised my little Witch?"

"I just pegged you as a 'sleeps in boxers'," she made what Caroline called moving bunny ears with her fingers in the air, "kinda guy," she shrugged highly aware that she had drawled out the last part.

He chuckled, "I do sleep in boxers," his eyebrows wiggled, "when I'm not commando that is," he made a dismissive motion with his right hand so that his ring glittered like diamonds for a second, "they were a Christmas gift from Stefan."

Bonnie laughed at the dryness of his tone, "what did you get him in return?"

"A dead bunny," Damon smiled.

Bonnie shook her head feeling the cotton material in her hands, she was aware that Damon's gaze was now focused on her.

"Stay over tonight, we'll put them to use."

Bonnie laughed and it sounded so carefree that Damon felt a twinge in his chest, "ok."

The next morning, the sun shone through Damon's still drawn curtains waking Bonnie from her state of slumber. She smiled, stretching like a lazy, content kitten as her fingers traced across her features. It was Sunday, her favourite day of the week. Yes, it was lame because it meant tomorrow was Monday which meant back to school but Sundays were the days where she was allowed to lounge in her pj's, dance around to music and mooch eating junk with her parents...atleast that was before her mum left and her dad started working non-stop and Grams died. Just as the morbid thoughts began to invade her disgruntled, hazy mind Damon's arm tightened around Bonnie's waist and his face nuzzled in her hair.

"Stop that."

"Stop what?" She smiled, turning in his grip to face him. He kept his eyes closed.

"Those nasty little thoughts."

Her lashes lowered, relishing the feel of his thumb rubbing her hip through the material of the pyjama top and the lush contrast of her naked legs pushed, flush against his clothed ones.

His voice was smooth, lulling her out of her thoughts, "I'll do lazy Sunday with you."

Bonnie's smile was brilliant, "pancakes included?"

"Pancakes included."

A hour later, Bonnie sat on the Kitchen counter kicking her legs as Damon stood next to her mixing pancake batter. Dropping a handful of chocolate chips in and a pinch of salt Damon hummed causing Bonnie to smile wide. With a mischievous grin Bonnie pursed her mouth into a 'o' shape and watched as the batter splashed against Damon's bare chest.

He quirked a eyebrow and looked at her. She faked ignorance.

"Bon?"

"Dammy?" She mimicked his tone.

He glanced down at his batter covered chest and then back at her, "do you really want to play this game?"

She quirked at the challenge in his tone and with a blink sent more batter splashing, this time it moved higher, landing on his cheek and in his hair too.

He smiled, flashing his teeth, "its on Witch."

Ten minutes passed and laughing Bonnie squealed round the corner of the living room and bounded up the stairs. Her hair was covered in flour and her legs were smeared with batter and eggs and lord knows whatever other ingredients.

"You can run but you can't hide," Damon singsonged as he entered the hall looking a mess. A hot mess.

With a grin he zoomed behind her and grabbed her around the waist, lifting her off her feet. Somehow he manoeuvred her so that her legs wrapped around his middle. The pyjama shirt she wore bunched around her stomach and he was very aware that her hot pink, lace boyshorts were on show.

"Say sorry," Damon chastised with a grin as he swayed with her in his arms.

Dropping her head forward Bonnie licked batter from his shoulder, her eyes sparkling at him the whole time. She sucked for a brief spell before grazing her teeth against his pulse point.

Damon moaned as his blue eyes darkened like the evening sky, "close enough."

In the present, Bonnie pulled her hand away from the banister and ran up the final stairs trying to escape her own thoughts. Moving into the study she went through another side door and entered the piano room. Sitting at the bench her fingers brushed against the smooth keys and she felt a thrill. Her first kiss with Damon had been in this room...with a gentle sigh she began to play wondering where her blue eyed boy was. Briefly, she remembered that she was not supposed to care anymore. Opening her pouty mouth an aching, haunted voice escaped:

I can't believe what you said to me
Last night we were alone
You threw your hands up
Baby you gave up, you gave up

Bonnie's thick lashes lowered in sadness. She really did feel like Damon had just given up. He had run away scared. True, he had never been in a real, committed, mature relationship but she never imagined that he would ever leave her. Physically, his presence was all around her and she still saw him all the time but it was different, worse then when she hated him, atleast then she did not know how great they could be as a pair, now it was like her whole body was a hollow shell. Functioning but not really alive. Half of her was missing. It had fled with Damon.

I can't believe how you looked at me
With your James Dean glossy eyes
In your tight jeans with your long hair
And your cigarette stained lies

His blue eyes were like chipped ice and they were vacantly dead as he breathed out the seven words that shattered her world.

"I don't think we should be together."

Had he ever loved her? Really, loved her? Bonnie wasn't sure. She wanted to say yes. She prayed the answer was yes but if he had he wouldn't have left her surely, he would feel as aching and deathly as she did. Not nonchalant and so disgustingly normal.

Damon Salvatore should win a prize. He was a great actor.

Could we fix you if you broke?
And is your punch line just a joke?

The day after the breakup Bonnie had given Damon the benefit of the doubt. After school she had felt his presence. Leaning against her car she closed her eyes and channelled her powers until he came out of the shadows and faced her. She wasn't sure how long she had stood there but the parking lot was almost vacant when green eyes locked on blue. He always played hard to get.

Bonnie had feared her voice would shake with emotion and the stress that she had felt all day, "I am going to give you one chance. We can go back to normal or you can walk away and I won't chase you or pine away."

"You won't?" His tone was coloured with surprise.

Bonnie felt her brown-black locks brushing against her shoulders as her head shook, "I'm not pathetic," her hand wanted to reach out and spread over his heart but she bunched her fingers into fists instead, "you either want me or you don't, and, if you don't then..." she sucked in a breath noticing that he wasn't moving, "you don't deserve me."

"Bigheaded much?"

Her head shook again, "I can just see the value of our relationship." And how great we are together, she added silently knowing that Damon knew exactly what she meant.

I'll never talk again
Oh boy you've left me speechless
You've left me speechless, so speechless

She kept to her word. Actively ignoring his presence whenever their paths now crossed and the shaky clench that her heart did every time that he was near.

Damon Salvatore could go to Hell.

I can't believe how you slurred at me
With your half wired broken jaw
You popped my heart seams
On my bubble dreams,

bubble dreams

Before the breakup Bonnie and Damon had shared hundreds of dreams, some steamy and sordid, some sweet and idyllic, some filled with laughter and intense conversation others with silence that was just as intense and physical as when their bodies pressed together to attach in a way that mimicked the joining of their souls.

After the breakup she had dreamed of him once.

Damon was drunk, lounging on a stool at the Grill. Sitting next to him all he did was shake his head and lift her so that she sat on the counter, directly infront of him so her legs were at either side of his frame. He nudged his head against her stomach and wrapped his arms around her middle, seeking the comfort that he could only find in her arms. Raking her fingers through his silky hair Bonnie let a tear slide down her cheek as she whispered, "I miss you too baby."

When he wasn't in her bed the next morning she cast a spell and banished him from her dreams.

She was Bonnie Bennett, it was all or nothing.

I can't believe how you looked at me
With your Johnnie Walker eyes
He's gonna get you and after he's through
There's gonna be no love left to rye

She could tell that Jeremy wanted her but she couldn't care left. Damon had drained her of everything and frankly in a 'saving all my love' king of way, no other man was gonna do.

And I know that it's complicated
But I'm a loser in love
So baby raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends

She had never been in love before so Caroline and Elena were naturally worried when she returned to normal overnight. That was when the girly nights started. From Legally Blonde to Sixteen Candles and Mean Girls, they had watched just about every chick flick in the history of modern cinema. It made Bonnie grind her teeth as frustration filled her brain, why did they want to destroy her perfect act?

I'll never talk again
Oh boy you've left me speechless
You've left me speechless

so speechless

I'll never love again,
Oh friend you've left me speechless
You've left me speechless,

so speechless

Damon was a friend like no other. He understood her more then anyone else and accepted her just the same. He saw the hidden elements that no one was supposed to see. The way that she shielded herself from getting hurt with anger and sarcasm, her fierce loyalty and her ultimate need to be needed. He took whatever she threw at him and never made her apologise.

She threw her head back.

Hooow?
H-oooo-w?
H-ooow?
How

H-oooo-w?
H-ooow?
How

And after all the drinks and bars that we've been to
Would you give it all up?
Could I give it all up for you?

Could they ever be together again? Could she forgive him? It wasn't even a real option. It was just inevitable.

And after all the boys and girls that we've been through
Would you give it all up?
Could you give it all up?
If I promise to you boy

That I'll never talk again
And I'll never love again
I'll never write a song
Won't even sing along

I'll never love again

Bonnie felt her voice peak in emotion. Her voice hit the walls of the empty room bouncing off the window frames and floating through the open door to drift hauntingly down the hall. Her fingers strummed the keys on the piano. She knew deep down that the words she sang were true, she could feel it in the core of her chest, in the ache that claimed her heart, it was like her soul was void...She'd never felt so alone in her own body before. Damon was her soulmate, without him she would never reach her full potential. Atleast the natural one that would spawn from them being together. Yes, she could love another man but it would never be the same. Never as special as the bond that they would share and it would be tainted by the fact that she knew what it should feel like to be in passionate, earth shattering love. It was pointless, why try for something that would never match up? Why make another man second best? She would never let someone do it to her so how would it be any different the other way round?

So speechless
You left me speechless, so speechless
Why you so speechless, so speechless?

Will you ever talk again?
Oh boy, why you so speechless?
You've left me speechless

She wasn't Katherine, she wasn't Elena she wasn't any female that he had ever encountered. She would be true to him. She would always chose him first. It was a vow Bonnie had made to herself the moment that their lips had met the first time and the thought shot through her that Damon Salvatore was worth it...the hurt, the longing and the pains of making a real relationship happen.

In his room Damon stood with his forehead pressed against the cold, smooth surface of his closed bedroom door. His fingers grasped the cool, metal door handle as he willed himself to twist it open and run down the hall to his green eyed goddess. Who was he kidding, yes, she was better off without him, safer, but...something was broken. His judgey, little Witch was not her real self, she was putting on a good show but he could sense it, something was off, her heart wasn't really in anything anymore and neither was his. He felt a shadow of what he was supposed to be. Pulling the door open he found himself moving, stopping in the doorway of the piano room, eyes met in a heated gaze that said more then words ever could.

Some men may follow me
But you choose "death and company"
Why you so speechless?

Oh oh oh