Finally, the conversation we've all been waiting for...(Okay, not quite. But close enough)

Dean waited to call Sam until Cas fell asleep that night. His brother answered on the second ring.

"This is Sam."

"Hey, man. How'd it go today?"

"Good, actually. Kevin and I made it to Minnesota, and found the site where the portal was. It was awesome, we got within a ten mile radius, and Kevin took us the rest of the way."

"But it wasn't the current location?"

"No, Kevin said it felt...hollow. Like power had once been there, but was gone." He could hear the disappointment in Sam's voice.

"It's okay, we'll try figure out a pattern and predict where it's gonna be next." Dean paused. "How are you feeling, Sammy?"

"Oh, I'm good. Don't worry about me."

"I'm sorry, have you met me?"

Sam chuckled. "Seriously, dude. I'm fine. Not at 100%, but I can definitely hold my own. I don't know what you told Kevin, but he's almost as bad as you. He's been on my case all day; asking if I need a break and making me drink like five gallons of water."

"Water is good for you! It'll help you get better."

"I know, but this is a little much." Dean smiled at the image of the young prophet trying to get Sam to take it easy. "So how are things there? How's Cas?"

Dean lowered his voice. "Not good. He's really messed up. Like, suicidal."

"Well, yeah...I mean, he tried to jump off a freakin' bridge. That's why you stayed behind."

"That was different. He was trying to get to Metatron...dying with a purpose, you know? This afternoon, he straight up told me he wants to die 'cause he hates himself and doesn't think he deserves to be alive."

There was a shocked silence for a moment. "Wow. It's worse than we thought."

"No kidding."

"You talked him through it, right?"

"I tried...I dunno how much he actually believed."

"Maybe it would help if you told him...how much he means to you." Sam's voice had taken on that tone; the one he used when trying to word things carefully so Dean wouldn't be pissed.

"He knows! I keep telling him that we need him, that he's family."

"No, Dean. What he means to you specifically."

"Sam, I know where you're going with this, and-"

"And what? Dean, I've seen the way you look at each other. You've had something special from the beginning. Think about it. If Cas were in a female vessel, you would've gotten together years ago."

Well, he wasn't wrong... "Sam, please just drop it." He was too tired for this shit.

"He's in love with you, Dean! I don't know how you've missed it. Hell, maybe you're just choosing to ignore it. But you can't do that anymore. He needs you!"

"Goddammit, Sam! Don't you think I want that? Fine, I admit it. I love him. But sometimes love's not enough."

His brother was silent, and for a minute Dean thought he'd hung up.

"Hey, you still there?"

"Yeah, it's just...I don't think I've ever heard you say you loved someone."

"Shut up." Dean said irritably. "It's not like it matters. It's never gonna happen."

"Why not?"

"Because! He's not in a healthy place, Sam. And neither am I, if we're being completely honest. Every relationship I've had has ended horribly. I mess things up. I hurt people. I can't lose him. I just...I can't."

"Think about everything you've been through together in the past six years. Literal life or death situations. Betrayal, hurt, even death! And you're still friends. I don't think that's gonna change."

"It's just...there's so much going on-"

"And there always will be. There's never gonna be an ideal time. Not the way we live."

Dean anxiously rubbed the back of his neck. "Do you really think it'd help him?"

"I do. You've been sending a lot of mixed signals. You really do need to talk to him about it, one way or the other."

"Mixed signals?" Dean's brow wrinkled in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Sam snorted. "Are you serious? I've seen you guys holding hands. And you frickin' slept together! And don't even get me started on the eye-sex..."

"Okay, okay...And we didn't sleep together, we just..."

"Slept together. Yeah."

"Whatever." Dean mumbled.

Sam chuckled. "Let me know how it goes. It's late, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Alright. G'night, bitch."

"Night, Jerk."

Before Dean went to bed, he checked on Cas. He was happy to see his angel fast asleep, no sign of nightmares. He looked so peaceful, and Dean almost wished he could stay that way forever.

He left his door open that night, so he could hear if Cas needed him.

Dean Winchester had faced ghosts, monsters, demons, and even the Devil himself. But somehow, he was still afraid of a silly little thing called love.