Happy New Year!

I wish you all the best in 2014, lots of great stories and great reviews for those of you who write, and success in everything you set out to do.

I still don't own them, not even in the new year.

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And so, several days later, Nyota found herself in the subspace call booth again, but this time with Spock, and they were calling New Vulcan.

A Vulcan face appeared on the screen, old, but many traits were still recognizable. It was – there was no other word – fascinating.

"Nasha'ya, Spohkh," the older man said, and the younger one replied: "Nasha'ya, Spohkh. Kal-tor'uh k'nash-veh ragtau ish-veh vi nam-tor t'hy'la t'nash-veh, ot-lan Nyota Uhura."

The older Spock's eyebrows went up, and in that gesture, there was no doubt of their identity. Nyota smiled. Allow me to introduce her who is my t'hy'la. It was nice to hear. She looked at the older version of her beloved and said: "T'nal pak sorat y'rani, pudor-tor kevet-dutar Spohkh."

He inclined his head. "T'nal jaral, pudor-tor ot-lan Uhura."

Nyota blinked. He returned her honorific, even though she was, without the smallest doubt, way bellow him in rank, and thus, as an unknown subordinate, should have merited the honorific of puwivelau – something like "tolerated" or "accepted". Even her Spock seemed confused.

The older Spock smiled that smile she knew so well. "I apologize for causing confusion. It is difficult for me, in a way. I knew Nyota Uhura, you see, and in my world she is long dead. She reached the rank of captain before her death, and she was a friend. Even though I do not actually know this young lady, I find it difficult to address her in the appropriately condescending manner, and since this is not an official contact..."

Nyota nodded in understanding.

"How can I be of assistance?" The older Vulcan asked.

She smiled, grateful when she realized that there was no need to try for emotionless with this elder. "First of all, I wanted to meet you."

He inclined his head. "Understandable, although I am sure you are aware you are not looking at you future."

"Nevertheless..." Nyota trailed off.

"As I said, I understand. But it really seems like there was something else you wanted to discuss."

"Lieutenant Uhura had a question, actually," the younger Spock interjected.

Nyota didn't like it when he called her Lieutenant Uhura in Vulcan. It was their private language. She remembered his worry about a mission to New Vulcan, and smiled. Yes, this was precisely the problem he had been worried about. "It was about the destruction of Romulus," she said. "I'm sorry to bring up a..." she searched for a word that did not imply emotion, as to avoid an etiquette breach – smiling was one thing, but she didn't want to go too far -, "...tragic topic, but I simply cannot help to wonder. Why was the planet not evacuated?"

She could detect the sadness in older Spock's eyes because she knew the face so well, though in a younger incarnation, as he replied: "They refused. They did not wish to leave their home planet. They were planning to use artificial suns after the consumption of the star."

"But that is entirely illogical! Even if they decided on the artificial sun project – which is extremely unecological – they should have evacuated as a precaution!" Younger Spock's voice was almost emotional now, too.

"Of course it was illogical, Spock. They are Romulans."

"I'm sorry," Nyota interjected, "but no civilization would get as far as Romulans did if it was so illogical the entire time."

"Not the entire time. But there are not many more emotional subjects than the destruction of your home planet," the older Spock said calmly.

Nyota bit her lip and tried to prevent the tears from forming in her eyes as the two Spocks looked at each other.

"I will need to meditate on this," the younger Spock said then.

"Naturally. Please, contact me again some time, when the topic is not so serious and I can get to know this world's Lieutenant Uhura better."

Nyota nodded. "It would be my honour," she said quietly.

"Live long and prosper, Esteemed Lieutenant."

"Peace and long life, Esteemed Ambassador."

And the ambassador then turned to younger Spock and said, with that small smile, "Good luck. It seems to have worked the last time ."

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If it took Nyota days to gather the courage necessary to ask Spock about his feelings towards Leila Kalomi, it took her weeks to open the conversation topic that concerned her. But it had to be done, and the first shore leave was approaching, and since Nyota had distinct plans for it, it had to be done soon. So she finally made herself say, one evening in Spock's quarters: "I think I owe you an explanation."

It took him a moment, but then he said: "Your feelings of inferiority, and the celebration of Valentine's Day."

"Yes. I'm sure you've already formed a hypothesis."

"Yes."

She almost laughed. "Let's hear it, then."

His eyebrows slightly furrowed, he formulated his response: "I assume it has to do with a lack of romantic partners, though as I'd indicated, I am unable to explain that – you are not lacking in any respect considered important."

Nyota nodded. "It's a bit more complicated than that." She took a deep breath. "It's not like I never...saw anyone socially with the intention of becoming intimate. I did, quite a lot, actually, in high school and before. I even started quite soon, because the boys were interested in me, and I thought, why the hell not? But none of the relationships lasted very long, and I can tell you why: none of those guys were able to really respect me. Not a single one of them." She sighed. That just sounded too melodramatic for words. "Of course at the beginning I didn't really know how to do it, and so I wasn't rally picky, so it's no wonder the people I saw socially were a group of non-intelligent individuals," she admitted, "but I started to understand after a year or so, and I paid attention to the way they acted towards me before I started seeing them, and it still turned out they objectified me, only not so obviously. There was some improvement, I mean," Nyota touched Spock's hand and sent him a short mental image of what she was talking about, commenting, "it wasn't guys who saw me as just a piece of meat any more, but they still didn't see me as their equal. Which was all the more frustrating because I could actually see that I was cleverer than they were." Thank God for Spock, she thought, at least with him I don't have to worry about sounding too conceited. "And so I started to think, what was I doing wrong? No one else seemed to have this problem, so obviously it had to be me, there was something in me that made them think I was not a human being like they were, so what was it? Was I actually stupid and just didn't see it? What was the problem?" She paused. "In time, of course, when I was stepping into adulthood and after many talks with my mother, I realized that it was just that the other girls didn't mind. They saw this as a fact of life, that men were always going to think of them as lesser beings, and simply accepted it. But I couldn't do that. I didn't understand it, how anyone could, I mean, imagine promising to spend your entire life with someone who saw you as, basically, less than human! Sometimes I saw it was mutual, too – the women looking down at their men, pronouncing their occupations and interests 'cute' in a condescending manner, saying things like 'boys will be boys'...it was a nightmare, a nightmare I refused to participate in. And after some time, I just stopped trying. The last time I saw anyone socially, before you, was in my first years at college, when I wanted to try if America and college were better than what I knew at home. They weren't. If something, it was worse, because sometimes there was even latent racism added to it. I mean, in 23rd century! Seriously! So I just...gave up."

Spock was silent for a while, sending only calm curiosity through their touching hands, then said: "I understand why that must have been frustrating, but since you realized you were not at fault, I do not understand why your feelings of inferiority stem from this."

Nyota sighed and smiled at him a little sadly. "I realized that at the rational level. But the psychological scars were too deep already, and there was nothing concrete to prove them wrong, no successful relationship. The longer I was alone, the worse it got, and then as I got older, I started to see actual equal relationships around me, and that was the last straw. Obviously it was possible, there were women capable of finding and attracting a man who saw them as their equals – as far as I was able to judge from the outside – so what was wrong with me? I saw this at college, and that was another reason why I tried again, but after three more failures, I just didn't have the energy any more. I was too afraid of another disappointed hope, of another man who would just talk to me about my thesis to get me to engage in sexual activities..."

Spock held her hand and kissed it, then said: "And why, if I may ask, was the situation worse in spring?"

This time, she actually laughed out loud, mostly out of happiness – unless she royally screws up, she won't have to go through a hellish spring again! Then, she answered: "Because in spring, everybody starts dating. It's in the air, people fall in love, they go around holding hands everywhere, some of them even in equal relationships...usually I was able to make myself forget all this by working hard and concentrating on school, but in spring, it was impossible, and all the suppressed frustration and pain always burst to the surface. And as I said, it was getting worse by the year. At the Academy, I simply refused to see any men when it should be just two of us, or in a small group – I only tolerated large gatherings where I could talk to female groups, because every time someone started hitting on me – I don't think you can really imagine how automatically most human males do that when they see a woman they like, it's like a reflex, they change the way they speak and everything, and I suppose there's no harm in that, I mean, it doesn't really automatically mean objectification, though that is often what is behind it, but I was just so frustrated and angry that I couldn't bear it." She sighed again. "I only had female friends. Men were acquaintances at most, and of course I realized that made it worse, because it lowered my chances of actually meeting anyone that could see me as their equal, but I just couldn't make myself try. Especially with guys like Kirk around, who confirmed my prejudices on every step. I was starting to hate them all, even though I actually knew for a fact that it wasn't right, that all men weren't like that, I had friends in equal relationships, Aisha with her Ahmad and Harshika with Pachai, and Rachel's relationships usually were equal too, but I was trapped inside my own frustration." She closed her eyes and sent him some of her love. "You came just in time, Spock. As much as I hate being the damsel in distress, you did save me."

"You saved me as well, Nyota. We are both damsels to precisely the same degree that we are knights in shining armor."

If something deserved a kiss, that did.