A/N: Here's the hurt Sam so many of you have been holding out for! Thanks to Hades Lord of the Dead, EmCWolf, Falchion, ellie . reynolds . 777, afreckledangel, Sharllissa, VattaKeto, Sammysmissinghoe, Naivaraeladrin, Sara B, and Jenna for reviewing. Thanks also to everyone who has followed and favorited this- 31 follows? Wow!

Also. I don't usually do this, but I was listening to Bad by U2 (love this band with a passion), and I thought of this story. So. Yeah, here are some of the lyrics. You should listen to that song as you read this, seriously. Okay.

Bruised silken sky and burning flag
Colors crash, collide in blood shot eyes

If I could, you know I would
If I could, I would let it go, this desperation, dislocation
Separation, condemnation, revelation
In temptation, isolation, desolation

Let it go and so fade away, to let it go

-Bad, U2

Seriously, I encourage you to listen. Alright, onto the story. Enjoy!

-Jaq

Not again. Please, not again. Sam's sorry, sorry, so, so, sorry, but it doesn't change anything.

Still feels the cuffs lock back into place, feels the emptiness of the room, knows that oh Sam you are well and truly alone, now.

Sam thinks that maybe Dean cared, because he took him out of the room (but no, it's more like a cell, a cell that shackles and holds and is not free) but Sam got free and he screwed it all up again, but this time it's worse, because this time Sam's ruined it for the whole world and really, Sam just can't do anything right, can he?

He was trying to start the apocalypse, not save it.

No, wrong way- he was trying to save it.

He's wide awake, can't sleep in this room. Can't relax.

Sam cries, crashes, because finally he knows he's really done it. Sure, he was bad befoe, but now...

Isolation, wide awake, the cuffs, Sam's not sleeping now, not doing anyting except screaming because no matter what it won't stop burning, burning up inside him.

Burning.

Pain is splitting his body apart from the inside, tearing him, burning, killing him, but Sam won't die. He tried before, but he just got better just in time to start it all.

This time it isn't as much anger, just hopelessness. Sam feels the walls closing in on him, enclosing like the coffin that should, pushing, squeezing, trapping.

There's sounds, almost like voices, that call out to mock, to spite, to spit, to curse.

Always Sam, always burning

Hurting

Suddenly it isn't dark anymore, and Sam can see- see Alistair, and Dean. And Alistair is the one clapping this time, while Dean is standing there looking disgusted. They can't see each other, just Sam

Sam sees it all

How Dean shouts and curses and says what a dissapointment Sam is, what a failure...

And Alistair is telling Sam how he finally lived up to his potential, how at last Sam is worth something,

And that little voice, the one that's been silent for so long, telling Sam that maybe this is who he was meant to be, and I'm telling him what Sam already knows, that he's just not meant for good, that Sam's just a bad person.

Sam's been screwed since he was a baby.

The world's been screwed since Sam was a baby.

If only Sam could have lived some normal, boring life that didn't include messing up the whole world then maybe he could have ignored it but no, he can't

He just can't and he's sorry he's so sorry

He can't find it

Can't find that piece of him that used to be so strong, that piece of him that was carefree and willing to smile and was so sure he would get out of all this one day.

Sam thinks maybe he can't find it, ever, because maybe it doesn't exist.

He's bleeding out slowly, losing the old Sam and becoming me, becoming that horrible twisted version of himself that he loves and loathes, that no matter what he can't destroy unless he destroys himself too (and he tried that and it didn't work, just made everything worse)

Everything's bloody, red, burning, all because of Sam

Burning

It's too hot in the room, too cold, too covered in red

He fainty hears the screams and then he realizes they're his

Soon they'll be others' screams

Mothers (did his mother scream as she burned on the ceiling?)

Fathers (his father screamed at Sam sometimes)

Sisters (Sam's never had one)

Brothers (Dean would scream. He'd be so angry)

Babies (Sam was a baby when he was poisoned)

Children (Sam never really got to be a kid)

Grandparents (did they scream when they died?)

Lovers (Jess screamed)

Everyone everyone everyone all screaming because of Sam

Screaming

Dying, being killed, being bathed in their own red blood (dark red)

Burning

All because Sam can't control me, can't control himself (maybe he doesn't think he knows how)

A knife twists in his side, a real knife, and he cries out because it hurts, everything hurts, he's dissolving into blood and blood

He's burning

The knife slides down and it's slow and it hurts and Sam's drowning in it and it isn't ever going to change. Not this time. This time he isn't going to be let out. Not now and not ever.

A/N 2: so, I wanna know. Did any of you go look up and listen to the song? If so, virtual cookie and kudos and basically you're awesome.

Also: Falchion, my 100th reviewer, requested a oneshot of clinically depressed Sam, which is now up on my page. If you're looking for some more hurt Sam, maybe you could check it out? Thanks!

Please review what you thought of this chapter. The next one should be up soon and with it more angst and maybe more plot!

Have a great day as always and thanks for reading.

-Jaq