First things first, many thanks to Sol for her excellent review and mostly for pointing out that I forgot to put the characters in the filters, my bad! -.-' . Second, thanks to all the new followers.

And finally, I'm so sorry for the delay but I was in the middle of making my software work and writing the final words to my thesis (such a pain), and I had not enough time to do it :3 but is done, and now I can move forward with this xD

Enjoy!

M.

Ps: the title of this chapter is a song (that I also don't own) but whose lyrics fits perfectly at the end. (I don't like the song though)

Chapter 14 – There goes my everything.

That morning was close to perfect; the sun was warm, the skies were blue, there was a gentle breeze, but was made it perfect was the notion that she was coming home.

I stretched lazily on my bed remembering the days when I could do it and get her to cuddle next to me for a second or two more than we should and then run away on our separated ways and smiled. After getting ready for a day full of joy, I walked to the dining room to get some breakfast. As soon as I stepped inside an unwelcome feeling of dread made its nest in the pit of my stomach and it only stirred up more when I noticed Kenta smile.

"Our little friend is out of her closet," he said, throwing the paper for me to see.

I read the paper hurriedly, and I gasped. I know for sure that Haruka's life is racing, is something ingrained in her body, just like my music is ingrained into mine.

The extensive note was accompanied by pictures of her birth certificate, and its end left me worrying. The article closed with 'what would the FIA position be?' and as I finished reading that last phrase, it I noticed for the first time since our re-acquaintance, that I never actually asked how she did it. It never occurred to me to ask how it was possible for her to race without giving away her genre. And with that current of thoughts moving in my head, the anxiety took possession of my stomach and curled it in thousands of knots, I lost the appetite that I had, and my happy feelings were crushed by the nervous thought of 'what would become of her is she couldn't race anymore?'

I know for sure that if I can't play... I would lose myself, and I would be miserable for the rest of my life. With such thoughts in mind, I drowned my cup of tea in two swift moves, checked the time and excused myself out of the room as fast as I could, blaming my attitude on being late for rehearsal. Kenta only raised an eyebrow and I thought I saw a smug smile curling his lips, but I didn't pay more attention to it.

As soon as his house was just a tiny spot on my rear view, I contacted Ami.

"Michiru, hello… is something wrong?" Her voice came calmed and that tranquilized me a little. For sure she would be more concerned if there was something worrisome about her best friend future. I rationalized.

"I …"

"Is this about the welcome party? You don't need to bring anything, is all set, just be there by 13hs, her plane is touching soil at 12, adding the migrations process and the way to her building, and she will be home around 13:30."

"No… it's..." I heard some shuffling on her side of the line and then

"Holy shit…" she said, I can count on one hand the times that I listened to the blue haired girl swear.

"Ami?" I asked, worrying my lower lip.

"You are calling for the paper, aren't you? I'm just reading it," I nodded and then I remembered that she couldn't see me.

"Yes..." I said and then, out of nowhere, I heard her laugh. "Ami?"

"Well, this shouldn't be so surprising… this is old news; she came out in the last championship after being pressed about Hotaru existence in her team."

"Wait, what?" I asked confused; I had talked to her every day since the last time that we parted ways. She spoke to me about Hotaru but why wouldn't she tell me about her 'coming out'? I wondered to myself.

"She didn't tell you, did she?" She interrupted my conscience musing, sounding concerned

"No?" I said, but it came out more like a question than a firm answer. She sighed.

"I figured she wouldn't." She said, and it surprised me, Ruka told me deeper stuff than coming out. "It's not you" she quickly added, "She is just not proud of the way it happened, Michi."

"Oh?"

"She lost it at a conference and came out, sort to speak. As you might know, it was hardly a surprise to anyone close enough to her. However, it was very much of public knowledge so you can probably find the video on Youtube or something, which makes it even worse on her list," she disclosed, and somehow it made me feel better. Even though I still had a doubt about her future, I frowned.

"But what about… Will the FIA punish her? I know that her team members knew that she was...well, she, but it never occurred to me to ask about the FIA, and I'm regretting it right now" I said, my voice is doubtful and shaky.

"Don't worry… she probably won't mind that you didn't." she reassured me, "It 's not so terrible as our press made it sound." She added some more shuffling came from her side, then she sighed. "Actually, to quell your doubts, let me confirm to you that there isn't any foreseeable punishment in her future, she never lied to the FIA or to any other institution that she raced for or with…"

"You mean?" I asked hope filled my words.

"Yup... She always was a female racer. She has nothing to hide; she just took advantage of the fact that the press never took upon themselves to check."

"I feel much better now," I breathed, and Ami laughed

"I bet.. well, if that's all, I kind of have a couple of patients waiting. You know? All those dates that I have to spare for getting Haru med check approved for championships do manage to get me behind my schedule" she laughed. "I'll see you later?"

"Yup, see you later then," I said, smiling and walked into the rehearsal building ready to start and after that conversation, my mood went back to the calmed, happy and relaxed state in which I was that morning not so long ago.

As soon as rehearsal ended a couple of hours later, I checked my watch and noticed that I still had time left before going to Haruka's home. So I decided to take a detour.

"Setsuna!" I saluted as soon as I saw my oldest friend behind her desk. She looked startled by my presence and quickly pulled out of her desk closing several laptops as fast as she could. Her reaction surprised me back then; it made all the sense of the world afterward.

"Michi! What are you doing here?"

"Well, I haven't seen you in two weeks, I was close, and I thought that I could come visit. Are you busy? I can go..." I proposed

"Nonsense, you are already here. So tell me how have you been?"

"I'm great actually."

"Oh, I saw in the news that your friend came out of her virtual closet," she told me, and I knew that something was off, but at that point, I couldn't exactly point what it was.

"Yeah.." I sighed while she looked at me frowning.

"You know something," she stated, I slumped a little and sighed again.

"I think.." I started, looking at the ceiling I remember Kenta's scary smile, "I believe that somehow Kenta is related to the publication."

"Hmm…What does make you say something like that?"

"I don't know? A gut feeling maybe?" She just stared at me and I… I faltered, "I have to confess something, Sets... something that I haven't even told the persons involved yet." I grab a pillow and cover my face with it.

"Come on, Michi... just spill it. I've known you since forever… it can't be as bad."

"I'minlovewithHarukaTenoh," I said fast and almost in a whisper, and I furiously blushed. She looked at me with her head tilted to the side.

"And that's news… why exactly?"

"What do you mean with why exactly? Why aren't you surprised?" I shouted, then I looked at her, my head slightly tilted, "You know something…" I pointed out, and she smiled softly

"Michi, two weeks ago when we had lunch you asked to watch the race, and then you never stopped talking about her, nor did you stopped fidgeting until she was safe and out of her car. And then she came on screen, and your eyes shone brightly. It was pretty obvious to me, that I've known you forever, that you were, no.. Are… in love with her. Now, what I'm dying to know is…is that reciprocated?" she asked, and I sighed

"I don't know." I hid under the pillow again, "I know she likes me, we… we kissed a couple of times… and we slept together…"

"You slept together?!" she smirked, and I blushed, if I had looked at her at that moment with the same knowledge that I have now, I would have identified her knowing smile.

"Not like that you oaf!," I laughed instead, "We slept of sharing a bed to sleep and hold each other, nothing more."

"And…"

"It felt so perfect! She is so perfect, and we fit perfectly, and her hair smells perfect, and her hands are so soft and rough and … "

"Perfect?" Setsuna asks, and I blush. "You are in so deep, Michi… I just hope that everything works out for you" she said with a sincere smile. At this point, I know that that was the only uncovered thing she said to me that day.

"Thanks," I answered sincerely too and then, I looked at the time and figured that I had to run.

Soon, it was already 13:45 and I was pacing around her living room,

"Why is it taking so long?" I heard myself ask before I could even process it. Lita smiled at me.

"You are just too eager to see her," then she winked, and I found myself blushing...again. I looked around, and I saw four pairs of knowing eyes are staring through me. I feel exposed and supported at the same time. There was a knowing look coming from the girls, but it tranquilized me that there was no judgment in their eyes. They just smiled and the moment was soon gone as the not so quiet conversation that Usagi was keeping filtered from outside the door.

"But Haru! Aren't you risking too much?" she said, and I heard Haruka's voice reply something that I couldn't understand. Then the keys juggled a little making a noise, and between her voice and the keys, I felt myself holding my breath.

The door opened, and she flattened herself against the frame giving both Mamoru and Usagi enough room to come up first, and I couldn't tear my eyes out of her frame. She turned around and looked at me and smiled so brightly that I considered the possibility of being blinded by it.

"Michi," she whispered, and I forgot all about the world surrounding us as she got to me in two long strides and embraced me in the most perfect hug, then she leaned down, and I looked up, and we shared a chaste kiss.

The gasps and the 'about damn time' sayings are the things that brought us from our dreamlike status back to the rest of the world, and I blushed at the knowledge that I kissed my Ruka in front of all of her friends. Her family. But she just smiled at me then raised an eyebrow smirking to the rest.

"You lot are just plain jealous," she stated, and the girls laughed at her antics before surrounding us in the weirdest and yet more comfortable group hug that I've shared.

I remembered quite vividly that afternoon almost three weeks ago; I remember the distinct feeling of belonging to someone, the joy, the happiness, the laughter, the companionship, but above all, I remember pure love filling my heart every time we exchanged a glance.

That memory is so different from the one of barely two weeks later, on that fateful night that brought us to this situation.

That day too was close to perfect; the sun was warm, the skies were blue, there was a gentle breeze, but was made it perfect was the notion that she was home. She was not at the other end of the world, and she was doing what she loved in her favorite track the next day at Suzuka circuit, and I would be there to watch her do it.

After my rehearsals and her quals we met for a late lunch, followed by an early supper at Lita's then I was back to Kenta's. I remember that at some point during our last six somewhat shared months, I stopped calling home to Kenta's house and smiled because when I told her that, she said that maybe a day I would have a home to call mine. She walked me to my car, and we lingered a little before saying goodbye.

Then the night fell, and I was back at Kenta's, and we were once again having a conference call apparently our fountain of subjects to talk about was endless then we hung, and I felt the emptiness of my solitude taking a toll on me.

So I decided to drown that feeling with a nice warm tea, I was walking back to my room when I heard the door. I saw the newest maid, Sakura, passing hurriedly in front of me without even noticing my presence, and I heard the distinct sound of the front door being opened.

From my position at the mezzanine, I heard more than saw Haruka asking for Kenta. I frowned a little since she hadn't mentioned her need for Kenta when we spoke, so I decided to follow her out without being seen.

I waited for Sakura to return to her rooms or at least to get out of my sight before I decided to risk and run silently downstairs and towards Kenta's office, I looked around a walk quietly to the door to try to hear what was going on.

A movement that I'm now regretting heavily, I wasn't ready for it… I shouldn't have done it.

"Is this how you pay me?" Kenta's voice boomed in the room

"I owe you nothing" she growled. "I have nothing to pay. However, you owe me a lot."

"Then name a price."

"I already did," she firmly stated, and he laughed.

"Why would you want that? You can name anything that you want, and I will try and give it to you, except this," I heard him say, apparently slapping some papers in the process.

"Then, I'm taking what belongs to me," I heard steps approaching the door, and I quickly looked for a place to hide, but there was none. I thought about trying to run back to the stairs, but I concluded that it would be a matter of adding 2+2 to figure out what's going on. Therefore, I decided that knocking the door or look like I was about too, was the most viable solution. But then, the walking stopped.

"What did you said?" She asked surprised

"Why do you want her?" He growled.

"Because she belongs with me," Haruka said, and before I could process the meaning of it, I found myself opening the door and looking at her with betrayalscrewpainted on my face. Fear brought the worse part of me to the surface.

"What the hell is going on here?" I demanded, trying to understand what I just heard, trying to convince myself that history was not repeating itself. However, she didn't quite look into my eyes, her actions at the moment confirming my worst nightmares. "Well? Who will be doing the explaining?"

"Your friend is blackmailing me into freeing you; you heard her say that you belong to her.."

"Michi… It's not what you are thinking...that's not what I said!" She tried, and I could feel my heart breaking a little.

"You were blackmailing me!" Kenta screamed at her, "you can't deny that! Here is the proof, Michiru." And all of the sudden her face lost all color, and my eyes widened at her reaction. "Here, this is the proof of her betrayal to us."

"I can explain," she said, and I saw the pictures, the debts… and how most of Kenta's businesses were now hers. I gasped, the air quickly abandoning my body.

"Please tell me you didn't," I whisper to her, looking without seeing in the papers scattered around me. She opened her mouth but then she closed it again.

"I can't. I've blackmailed him, I've done so for a whole year," she said shamefully, and I felt my eyes become a pool of tears.

"How could you? I trusted you!" I spat, all the weight of my past hitting me like a boulder.

"I'm sorry," she said, and even though it looked real, I couldn't seem to get my bearings and trust her as I should have. Now, I can't do more than regret my actions of that day.

"I knew this relationship of yours wouldn't bring anything good," Kenta added fuel to our already burning situation. "You always were too much trouble Tenoh, even your father knew that and sold you to me, and now, you are here buying people too."

"Stay away from this Oki!" she growled at him.

"Why? So you can convince my wife that you are innocent when there's proof that you aren't? Oh please, kiss her, show her how weak our dear Michiru is, all and all she can't live without being bought."

I saw Haruka reaction to that; I saw her clenching her fists tightly and pressing her jaw hard enough to make it crack. But somehow I only heard what Kenta said, and at that moment I thought he was, in fact, right. I thought that I was weak and that she saw me like an unreachable possession. How could I have misjudged her like that?

But then again, I can remember plenty of conversations where she stated her dislike for Kenta and mentioned she always dreamt of having her revenge on him. And what better revenge than getting not only all of his business but his wife and with that the last piece of honor left in the guy. In my mind, at that time, these notions weighted more than the times that she showed me how much she cared for me.

"No, I don't want to convince you of my innocence Michiru, I just want to explain my actions" she answered looking at my eyes.

"See, she isn't even repentant."

"Please, Michi let me explain" she pleaded, but my mind was too clouded to see her pain.

"No, Ruka, there's nothing left to explain" I said, pointing to the papers while my view became blurry with unshed tears. "I would have done everything for you… but you," I gasped for air, " you did exactly what he did… how can I trust you won't just do it again? Tell me how, Haruka?" I said. And I felt my heart break at the exact moment that I saw hers breaking, and I was surprised that it hadn't happened when I stated that she lost my trust but, the moment when I called her Haruka and not Ruka.

Confused by that I walked and opened the door making a gesture for her to go out. She pressed her jaw tightly and several times in a row. Her eyes too were shining brightly with tears… and that time she was the one going out of the door. She stopped right next to me, but she didn't reach me. She hadn't even dared to look at me.

"I just wanted you to be free," she whispered before finally walking out and disappear down the corridor. I didn't breathe until I heard the front door slamming shut.

And my heart shattered when I found that once again I was played by him, that he knew exactly how to push my buttons to get me to do exactly what he wanted. Even pushing my love to the floor and then kick her in the stomach when she was down. But I asked her to go, and she left, and I felt empty, and then I heard him laugh. Repeating several times

"I won, you karmic bitch… I won"

And I ended that beautiful, magical day feeling dread and an emptiness in a way that I've never felt before. But most of all .. I felt guilt, and I could only, I can only, hope that someday she can forgive my mistakes… again.

From that night I also remember that somehow I had managed to grab the papers and I ran out of there, crying my way to the only person I could always count on. As the door opened, she looked at me, and she said.

"Oh Michi, what have you done?" and then I was being engulfed in a tight hug.

And when she closed her door behind us, I remembered the front door at Kenta's house being closed behind her. And I was left wondering, if this time, I've had managed to really screwed it all.