Chapter 13: Fix it
Bella POV
That fucking ass!! He pushed me away then gets with another girl. If he thinks that I was the useless, pathetic little girl I used to be, well he has another thing coming.
I stomped my way over to him. As I got closer, I started to hear their conversation.
"If you don't get off my lap in 3 seconds I will not think twice about hurting you," I heard Paul say. Wait, what?? So, he's not cheating on me?
"I know you won't hurt me," the girl said. Who the hell is she?! By the time I'm done with her, her face is gonna be so fucked up that no one would ever bother to touch her again!!
"I said get the hell off of me!" he hissed. He better push her away!!
I could tell that she was going to add another smart ass comment so I cut her off.
"The man said to get off of him. Now go!!" I commanded. Damn, even I sounded scary to myself.
The girl hurriedly got off of him and ran away. Yeah, you better run!! I'm so fucking pissed off. I stomped towards the woods. I could tell that Paul was following me. I growled.
"Bella," he whispered. How dare he talk to me like nothing happened?!?!
"Don't you freaking 'Bella' me Paul!! I am overly fucking pissed right now," I hissed.
"I know, I'm sor – " there's no way in hell that I'm letting him talk.
"No I need you to listen good. I trusted you!! I put all the things you've done to me aside and you do this to me!! Do you have any idea how hurt I was?? I felt like I was being pushed away, rejected, NOT WANTED!! All the things you've done to me cannot compare to how I'm feeling right now. Sometimes………. Sometimes I just wish that I never met you," I whispered the last part. Damn it!! I'm supposed to stay strong. Why the hell am I crying???
"I just don't know Bella. I couldn't handle my anger. I just felt like blowing up at someone and you were the only one there. Please, understand that I didn't mean to hurt you," he begged. What the hell does he think?? That I'm gonna forgive him that easily!!! FUCK NO!!
"So this is how it's always going to be then?? What about the next time that you get mad? Am I the one who's going to have to suffer again? To take the pain? I can't live this way Paul!! I want you so badly, but all you ever do is push me away. I'd be ready to risk anything with you. But what happens the next time, when things don't go the way you want it to?? The world does not revolve around you Paul!! I have feelings too and it hurts me that you don't even think about what your actions could do to me!!" I shouted. He flinched back. Yeah, he better be scared of me.
"Please Bella, I'm begging you. I'll change!! I'll do whatever you want me to do, just please forgive me. I love you. I really do. I just….. I can't live without you. I'll die!! Don't leave me," he was on his knees. No Bella, don't give in. He doesn't deserve it.
"I can't Paul. I just….. I don't think I can trust you anymore," I whispered.
I tried to look away, but when I saw tears coming out of his eyes, I couldn't take it anymore. No matter how much he's hurt me, I just can't stand to see him crying. As a matter of fact, I've never seen him cry before.
"I'm so sorry that I'm not the perfect guy. You could have had anyone you wanted but you got stuck with me. There will always be times when I'm going to be a big, fat, egotistical asshole. It's just in my nature. I'll try to change I really will. But I'm not perfect Bella, I still make mistakes and have flaws. I may make these mistakes more often than you can handle, but you need to know that I wouldn't do them intentionally. When I say that I love you, I really mean it. Even when I tortured you, I still loved you. I may have not shown it, but I did. And I still do. I love you Bella, and I will do everything in my power to make you trust me again," he told me. Did he mean it? What if he's lying again?! I'm going to get hurt.
I started to cry now. More than ever. He just held me there and whispered soothing words, but it barely did any good.
"I don't know what to say," I said. I truly didn't.
"Please Bella," he whispered against my skin.
"I won't forgive you that easily Paul. It will take me a very long time. I don't know how long you can wait for me, but we will get there," I said. I can't stay away from him forever, but I will make him pay a bit to let him know how much I suffered on his account.
"Really?" he asked. I nodded.
"Thank you," we finally kissed.
"I love you too Paul," I said against his lips.
"I've loved you ever since that day on the beach," he told me. Since we were 5?!?!
"My 5th birthday?" I asked. I can't believe that he still remembers that day. It was also the day we became enemies. I never really did understand Paul's reason for hating me. I knew that there was more to it than just me "stealing his friends."
"Yeah," he answered.
"It was also the same day that I fell in love with you Paul," I answered, "it was the first time I ever saw that side of you."
"I don't know what got me into bullying you Bella. I loved you but I pushed you away. I wasn't sure what I really wanted at the time. I thought that I didn't want you so I locked away my feelings, but they were still there. They were always there," he said. I see…….. I knew there was something more to it.
"Me too. I still loved you, but then your bullying started. I just snapped one day, and pronounced my hatred for you. Lies, lies, and more lies filled my head. I tried to believe them though. But no matter how hard I tried, my feelings were always going to be with me," I added. It's true. I just started to hate him so much that I just pushed my feelings away, until I've forgotten about them.
"Did you know that our moms were best friends?" he asked me. Wait, what?
"They were?" I asked.
"Yeah, they were glued to the hip back in the day. When they were pregnant with us, they were always there to take care of each other. They wanted us to end up together," he told me. Huh, no wonder. Mrs. Meraz was always so nice to me. It's like she treated me as her own daughter.
"Wow, really? I never knew about that. I loved your mom Paul. I tried to visit her sometimes, but then I would remember that you lived there too, so I never really got to visit her," I said in shame.
"She loved you Bells. When she died weeks after my 15th birthday, I took it the hardest. I loved her so much. She was the one I could always go to. It was like she was my best friend," he admitted. Oh, I forgot about that.
"I'm sure our parents are looking down on us right now, happy that we're finally together," I said before leaning into his chest and looking up into the sky.
"I love you mom," he whispered. I've never seen Paul so vulnerable. He's only ever opened up to me. But, like I said, I'm not going to let that little incident pass by so easily.
"So why did you lie?" I asked my voice was firm.
"What?" he asked.
"You know well what I'm talking about," I challenged. He still seemed as if he had no clue.
"Do I have to break it down to you?! Why did you tell them that you had no idea what happened to me?" I growled.
"I never really said that exactly. It's just that, I already lost you and I didn't want to lose them too. I didn't think that I could last living without you, especially if the guys left me alone too," he admitted.
"But why did you have to lie? They would have understood," my anger was rising.
"Do you really think that they'd listen to me?? No matter what explanation I give them, I'm still the reason you left. You know that they would never forgive me," he said.
"Yeah, and they're even more pissed at you now," I told him.
"Do you think they could forgive me?" he asked. Like hell they are!!
"They could, but I don't know if they will. You'll probably have to live in months of torture before they actually forgive you," he gave me pleading eyes.
"Oh hell no Paul!! You brought yourself into this. You fix it," my decision was final.
"Sorry, I know. I don't have any right to ask that of you," he apologized.
"Damn right you don't," I added.
"I'm really sorry Bella," he said again.
"I don't need you to be sorry Paul. I need you to fix your mess," I commanded. He nodded.
"Until then, we'll have to live separate lives," it broke my heart to say it.
"You- You're…… breaking up with me?" he stuttered. I felt my heart shatter at the look he had on his face.
"Paul, it was you who ended us. We were over when you pushed me away," I choked back a sob.
"I understand," he smashed his eyes closed.
"I'm sorry Paul, but you have to face the consequences of your decisions," I said. He nodded.
I gave him one last kiss. This one lasted longer than all the rest. I only meant it to be a short kiss but he held his grip on me. He wrapped his hands around my hips and held me closer. I put my arms on his neck and pulled him closer as well. I just couldn't get enough of him. I tangled my fingers inside his hair and he put his hands in my back pockets. He used one hand to tilt my chin closer to him. We eventually broke apart. Tears were threatening to escape my eyes, but I held them back.
"Goodbye," I whispered.
"I will get you back Bella. I'll fix everything," he promised.
"Just make sure that this time, you keep your promise," I said shakily.
"I will," he said.
I walked away from him. My soul mate. The love of my life.
"I love you," I whispered knowing well that he heard it.
"I love you too Bella. I'll do everything in my power to get you back," he vowed.
I ran back home. My dad was sitting on the couch and he immediately became aware of my situation.
"Bells?" he asked.
"Oh Daddy!" I threw myself onto his arms. We stood there as he comforted me.
"What happened?" he asked. I told him what happened.
"Honey, you won't be able to stay away from him long," he said.
"I know Daddy!! That's what I'm most afraid about. I want him to suffer the way I did. But I just can't force myself to do so. As he is my imprint, and I his, I just can't hurt him," I sobbed even harder.
"Bella, I can tell that you need him to live, to survive. But, I also understand that what he did was just purely unacceptable. I just can't stand seeing you like this," he said.
"I know," I whispered.
Paul POV
She left. She left me. Me. I couldn't take it anymore, I broke down and sobbed against the hard floor. Why did I have to be such an idiot and start this whole thing?! Not only did I lose Bella, but my friends too. I doubt that they'll ever even forgive me.
I didn't even bother to rip off my clothes. I had already phased into a wolf and I'm now running through the woods. I am such an asshole.
Yeah you really are – Embry snorted
Don't you hate me? Why are you talking to me? – I asked
Oh ,I do. I hate you sooo much. I'm here to cuss you out – he said
Go ahead. Give me the best you've got. I deserve every single shit you're about to tell me – I said
Ok, where do I start? Oh yeah, ARE YOU OUT OF YOU'RE MIND!!! What the hell man?! You push Bella away, then freaking lie to us!! And to think that you would've learned your lesson the first time. You're an asshole, mother fucker, bastard, cocksucker, slimy, bitch, manwho – Embry was cut off
Embry!! – an unknown voice chastised
Who are you wolf? – he asked
Billy Black you retard – he answered
I'm so sorry. I didn't know – Embry apologized
No worries – Billy said
I'm gonna fucking get it now.
Hell yes, you are!! She's your imprint how could you have hurt her?! – he screamed
I replayed all that I've experienced. I showed him how I never meant to hurt her, and that I loved her more than anything.
I see young one. But why did you cause yourself all this trouble? I am not very fond that my daughter got the bad end. She looks so lonely – he said
He gave me images of how Bella looked like after she came back. How she cried to him about me.
Please stop it – I begged
No, you need to know what you've caused her – Billy said
You asshole!! – Jake shouted
When did they get here?
We were here the whole time!! You were just too busy thinking about all the wrong you've done – Sam answered.
Take it easy on him. I understand your hate for him right now, but the imprint is taking a toll on him too – Billy warned
Billy? But how? – Jared asked
After Sarah died, I decided to phase again. I knew well enough that Jake and Bella were going to phase. I didn't want to age while they didn't – he explained
That's nice to know dad. But all I really want to do right now is kick this guy's ass!! – Jake charged for me
Stand down – Billy ordered
Jacob did as was told. I see. Billy still has more control on top of everyone as he is the son of Ephraim Black.
I told you not to fucking hurt her!! – Quil said
I did not mean to! – I defended
I trusted her with you. You know that I still love her, even if its only as a sister. How could you?! – he shouted
He was being restrained by Seth, Collin, and Brady.
Let me the fuck go! – he screamed
As much as I hate Paul too. Stop it, before you make me give you an injunction Quil – Sam threatened
I showed them my memories. I showed them the reason I lied in the first place. I also showed them that my love for Bella is true, and that I can feel her pain. Her pain is my pain.
We would've understood – Seth said
You really think that I'd believe that? – I challenged
You're right, I guess we wouldn't have – Embry said
Exactly. I didn't want to feel alone at the time. I had no one else to go to. I would have told you, maybe if my parents were still alive. But you guys were all I had left. I couldn't bring myself to tell you the truth because I knew that it was going to cause you to leave me too. I just…… I couldn't handle the thought of being alone – I admitted
I guess you have a valid reason – Jake said
But you still hurt her – Quil growled
He didn't mean to. I guess it was kind of our fault too. We all know that Paul has anger issues, but we still provoked him – Jared defended
Jared has a point – Sam agreed
I guess – Quil finally gave in
But listen here, you better fix this with Bella. And we mean as soon as possible. We understand your situation and we will overlook this. We will not forgive you, unless Bella does – Sam concluded
We agree – the rest of them said
A decision has been made. Paul, I literally hate you right now. I hate seeing my daughter that way, but I also know that you are the key to her happiness. Fix it – Billy commanded
I bowed before him and took off. I got back home and took a shower. I'm so glad that they understand my side of the story. Step 1: talk to the guys. Check. Step 2: talk to the girls. Shit, this is going to be harder than I thought.
But no matter what, I will get Bella back. I love her with all my might, and I'll show that to her. I just hope that she can forgive me. My Bella.
Hey you guys!! I feel very sad. I know that the last chapter off, maybe that's why I probably didn't get as much reviews. But…. I hope you guys liked this chapter. I do hope that I could get more reviews this time. You know, to raise my spirits up!! I haven't been able to update as much as usual, because of school. Ughh, how I hate that word.
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