'Cause he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into.
"Teardrops on my Guitar" by Taylor Swift
"This is about fifty more shades of fucked up than fifty shades," Kim said.
"That would be a hundred shades," Emily said helpfully. I was at her house, at Sam's request, to "better understand imprinting". This had mostly consisted of the three imprints I knew, the four I didn't and Leah discussing how I could possibly not know I had been imprinted on.
"Shut up I can count," Kim snapped. Leah rolled her eyes.
"So you never wondered why you felt so drawn to Paul?" Juno, one of the newer wolf's imprints, asked.
"We've all heard the stories," Liza, another imprint, jumped in. "I just don't understand."
"If you heard the stories you would know that Paul was notorious for sleeping around," I snapped. "How was I to know I was any different than the chick in a bar he met one night?"
"Oh shut up," Leah said when Liza opened her mouth again. She snapped it shut. "I patrolled with him and I didn't even know. How could Bella?"
"Did you know that she is the only imprint to sleep with her wolf and the imprint not be sealed?" Raven asked. "That is more interesting to me than when it happened."
"Can we seriously just like knit a sweater or something?" I asked desperately.
"Well at least she won't have to choose now," Juno mumbled. I rolled my eyes.
"It would have been Paul," Kim said. "You never saw them together Juno. You still haven't. It's like…bottled lightning."
"We all know how special the imprint bond is," Liza said condescendingly. Kim glared at her as did Raven.
"They're different," Emily cut in, surprising us all. "They have been from the beginning. The other wolves pressed their imprints, coaxing them into relationships. Paul always put her first, even if putting her first hurt him more than anything." She glared at me. I looked away.
"He's hot though," Liza said. She and Juno dissolved into giggles.
"He's the only person left on this earth with the power to break me," I said quietly. Every eye glued to me. "I've always known that. The question for me is how much of my heart is left to break."
"I don't think it works like that," Raven said. "He can't break you because it would be like breaking himself."
"I loved him before," I said. "It didn't work out well for me." Kim threw herself down on the chair next to mine.
"We both know losing you changed him," she said. "I can't say to what extent but in truth you've slept with someone else besides him more recently than he has slept with someone other than you."
"Oh I remember," Paul said from the doorway. He was shirtless, naturally, cutoffs slung low on narrow hips, arms crossed carelessly over his chest.
"Girls only," Emily said. He didn't move.
"Sam sent me to get her," he said nodding towards me. "Save her more like I can see now." Juno and Liza were openly gawking at Paul which he seemed to find amusing. A flash of annoyance went through me. He smirked and I flushed as I stood.
"What torment exists for me now?" I asked peevishly. In answer he pressed a kiss to my temple and winked at the imprints. When we were halfway down the drive he leaned in.
"Run before Sam realizes you left," he said. I stared at him in disbelief.
"Seriously you broke me out?" I asked. He nodded.
"I heard the new imprints while I was patrolling," he said. "I figured you were about thirty seconds from murder so I pulled a jailbreak."
"I don't think I was ever that stupid," I mused. "I know they're young but…no."
"Well apparently I have a high hotness level," he joked. "At least that has been confirmed."
"As if that were ever in question," I said with a roll of my eyes.
"But not hot enough for you to abandon all fear," he said half-jokingly.
"You were listening the whole time?" I asked. He nodded.
"You do know I am not the same guy as the asshole I was when we met, right?" He asked. "Things are different. Circumstances are different."
"You've had time to come to your peace about this," I said. "Don't I get that same courtesy?"
"I wish I could say that you do and you will," he said. "But all eyes are on you now. They will hound and harp until you come to some sort of decision. To be honest I am terrified of what that decision will be if you are backed into a corner."
"I worry this imprint is forcing us together now," I said. "I worry that it isn't just because we want each other. I don't want you as some sort of supernatural consolation prize. I think sometimes that is all it would be for us."
"I think I've proven otherwise," he said. "More than once."
"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I muttered. "I'm just…tired." He stopped and framed my face with both hands.
"Then let's not talk," he said. "Come home with me and we'll figure this out together. This isn't something you have to do alone."