This time on TWIBW: Perverts and plot exposition! Alongside Ichigo's sexy human face. (Or something like that.)
A/N: I ended up renaming Kon. I suspect the mod-soul himself is slightly more imaginative than Ichigo is... but only slightly. The gigai probably won't be used all that much until a little bit later, to be honest. In theory, it should be possible for a gigai to be usable for a hollow (or, at least, an arrancar), although I suspect you would need to make quite a lot of adaptations - hence such a gigai only turning up at this point in the story. The odds of anyone ever needing to make such a thing beforehand would be abysmally low, at any rate. This chapter took longer than the others to write... I got a little stuck with some parts of it.
"Ah... Ichigo-kun, Uryuu-kun. This is unexpected..."
"Did you finish it yet?"
"It's almost done. You really did ask for something very specialist. Concealing and transforming your reiatsu into something completely different without burning away... not to mention the fact that with your level of reiatsu, what you want needs to be quite hardy. But it should be ready quite shortly." Urahara fanned himself. "I believe Tessai is adding the finishing touches to it, at any rate. It should be ready for use at the end of the day."
"Thanks. It's not something I'd really want to use all of the time, of course, but – "
"I perfectly understand."
"Urahara-dono." Tessai's head poked around the doorframe. "It is done."
"Perfect timing! Well then," Urahara declared, beaming at Ichigo, "shall we give it a test run?"
"Are you sure this is going to work?" Uryuu asked sceptically. "I remember what happened the last time." He shuddered at the memory. The gigai had been effectively shredded to pieces, and since it had been semi-organic in order to fool a casual inspection, the mess had gone everywhere.
"My, my, Uryuu-kun, don't you have any faith in my abilities?..."
"No," he replied, bluntly. Not after having to clean up 40kg of what was effectively minced gigai. I never managed to get the bloodstains out of that outfit...
"It's not as if you didn't manage to make a brand new top in about 15 minutes afterwards. Besides, it's not your gigai." Ichigo stuck his tongue out at Uryuu a little, causing the latter to mentally berate himself.
…anyone who thinks permanent mental connections are a good idea? They're an idiot.
Urahara looked bewildered for a brief second, before wisely deciding not to question the whole thing.
"Tessai-san, could you please bring it up? Oh, and also... if you're using that, of course you'll need a gikongan... now then..."
Both men vanished back into the depths of the shop.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" the Quincy asked quietly.
"It'll make things easier. Besides... there are people around with high spiritual pressure other than just yourself and Kuchiki. This'll make things easier."
"Asano-san, Sado-san and Inoue-san..." Uryuu muttered under his breath. "Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that Arisawa-san could make something out, too."
"...yeah." There was a fraction of a second's hesitation; somehow, Uryuu got the impression his friend was frowning under the mask. "It'd be awkward if I ran into them like this. Besides, I'll be able to talk to people again! Other people, that is," he hastily amended.
Way to make a guy feel wanted, Ichigo.
"Don't worry, you're still my best friend!"
Uryuu was immediately tackled to the ground as Ichigo pounced on him, pinning him to the floor.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
"Well, you were being all depressing and emo so I thought I needed to give you a hug." Ichigo's arms wrapped around the Quincy.
Uryuu was pretty certain he heard something crack as the hollow's grip tightened.
"This doesn't count as a hug!" he yelled, still struggling. "This is assault! Let go of me - "
"Wait... Glasses guy? What're you doing here? And you're with him - "
As if this couldn't get any more embarrassing... Jinta has to turn up...
"Get off me. Now." Uryuu twisted his head round, aiming his severest glare at Kurosaki.
Ichigo continued to sit on his back, tail twitching slightly from side to side.
Why couldn't I have just gotten a cat or something?
Urahara's head appeared around the doorframe.
"Ah... Uryuu-kun... if you're busy, I could just come back later - "
"No! No, we're fine, he was just getting off - " With a massive exertion, Uryuu manage to push himself off the floor, causing Ichigo to slide off.
If looks could kill, then Ichigo would have been even more dead than he already was.
"Jinta-kun... if you could fetch a gikongan..."
The red-haired boy was broken out of his horrified trance. "Wait, what?"
"Gikongan. Fetch." Uryuu's eyes narrowed, glaring at the boy to say anything about what he had just seen.
"Hmph... Ururu should be doing this stuff..." Nonetheless, Jinta vanished into the back room as Urahara pulled the gigai into the room.
"This one is semi-organic. It took some time to work with the right kind of materials in order to increase the stability. It should convert the hollow reiatsu emitted into a more stable form less liable to attract attention, for a start. That was the problem with the last one; there was too much build-up with your power level and we failed to account for the... slight differences... in body shape, for a start. It shouldn't prove too restricting, but if there are problems - "
Ichigo picked up the gigai, inspecting it critically.
"Short hair?"
"I took some artistic liberties with it," explained Urahara, fanning himself.
The gigai was clad in fairly average-looking clothing; jeans and a T-shirt with a slashed-through record disc on the front. Its hair was similar to Arisawa's style, which was to say relatively short and spiky.
I suppose waist-length hair in a boy would look... odd, to say the least. It's probably best it's like this...
There was a slight flicker of light around the two forms for a second, an action that caused Uryuu to dive for cover. Previous experiences with Kisuke Urahara and his inventions had taught him to always expect the worst possible scenario when using one of the man's inventions.
He waited behind a stack of cardboard boxes for a few seconds.
When there was no evidence of an explosion, he raised his head slightly.
"...you can come out now, Uryuu-kun~"
The Quincy twitched. It's not as if I didn't have a reason to do that!
Ichigo stared down at his new gigai.
"How do you feel?"
"Well... nothing's exploding. This time. So I guess that's good?" Ichigo shrugged, before stretching his arms out. "It feels kinda weird though... I think the gigai's throwing my balance off." He took a few tentative steps forward, before staggering and falling on his face. "Ow."
"Serves you right for tackling me to the floor earlier."
Suddenly, a gikongan dispenser came flying towards Ichigo. He absentmindedly snatched it out of the air, ignoring Jinta's mutterings.
"Ah, good. So that will be - "
"Yes?"
" - free," Urahara continued, without missing a beat. "In light of numerous services rendered and as refunding for the matter of the previous produce."
"Really, you don't have to."
"No, no, I insist!" The shopkeeper's smile was starting to look slightly maniacal at this point.
"So this is a gikongan, huh..." Ichigo inspected the item; there was a chibified skull on the top of the thing, making it look like a relatively standard candy dispenser.
"Well, yes. It's more convenient than needing someone around to give you a push out of your body all the time... besides, leaving a gigai empty tends to lead to police investigations when people find what looks an awful lot like a dead body." He sighed. "For some reason, all the girls seem to want the Chappy gikongan... I don't think I've had anyone buy the Alfred one for a while, since people don't think it's cute."
Ichigo shrugged. "Does it matter?"
He squeezed the little skull, causing a pill to pop out into his mouth.
Just so long as it isn't the Demon Rabbit...
There was a sound remarkably like a rubber band breaking, just as Ichigo's hollow form broke free of the still-standing gigai.
The gikongan sprang to a salute. "Greetings! I am HOLY SHIT IT'S A HOLLOW - "
It vanished in a cloud of dust, sprinting off as fast as possible out the door.
"Well... that went marginally better than last time," commented Ichigo.
...crap. And now we have a retarded gikongan on the loose with Kurosaki's gigai. Not to mention they're particularly difficult to sense in the first place, and with his reiatsu-concealing gigai... this will be irritating.
On the rooftops of Karakura Town sprinted a boy with no name. As of yet, nobody had managed to notice him, since people don't generally tend to look upwards when walking around on the street.
Shit! Why was there a hollow standing there when I came out? It would've been fine otherwise, I would've gotten this sexy body and then they would've left me to do my own thing, but oh no -
He dropped to the ground. He was far enough away that the hollow probably wouldn't find him, or whichever shinigami whose gigai he was using right now.
Why did I have to just bolt before I even knew who I was meant to be avoiding?! Other than the hollow...
He glanced at a windowpane. His new reflection was visible in the glass; bright orange hair, slightly spiky, brown eyes.
Actually... I guess this new body isn't too bad. As long as I stay out of the shinigami's way for the time being, and as long as the hollow doesn't come after me... but then... yeah, I guess they're probably fighting each other right now. I guess that was why I got called out... at any rate... I guess it's best if I make the most of it for the time being. He stretched experimentally, marvelling at the feel of the power running through his legs. This body's pretty cute, to be honest. I feel like I could run a marathon like this!
"Hey, you!"
He glanced around at the man striding towards him. The human was quickly closing the distance between them.
"Huh?"
"Don't 'huh' me, boy! What are you doing outside of your class right now?"
And now the burly man had his hand clamped firmly on his shoulder, preventing any possible attempts to flee.
Crap! Did he spot me earlier?
"Your parents will be informed about this incident, make no mistake about that, boy."
"But I'm not even – "
"Don't try to pull a fast one on me. I don't know what you were thinking coming in to school dressed like this, but you're not getting away with skipping class so blatantly. The nerve of teenagers these days..." the man added, this time in an undertone.
"I don't even come to this school! I was just here for the day!" he shrieked, frantically trying to wrench himself loose.
Unfortunately, the other man appeared to have a very firm grip. He could feel the glare boring through his skull as he was frogmarched down the corridor.
This day was going so well...
Uryuu groaned.
At Kisuke's insistence, he had gone to school that day. The shopkeeper had informed the teenager that he was going to take care of the whole business. Uryuu was starting to wish he'd stayed behind, irresponsible as that was; the topic being covered was an extremely dry part of history, and Asano was insisting on flicking notes at his head.
WTF is up w/ you and Rukia? U guys dating or not?
He scowled, before turning the scrap of paper over and scribbling a reply.
For the last time, we are not dating. End of discussion. I refuse to pass any more idiotic messages like this.
A twitch of his wrist and the note successfully ended up back on Asano's desk without Ochi-sensei noticing. He took advantage of Keigo's momentary distraction in order to continue taking his notes -
- just as the door burst open.
Ochi-sensei turned around, startled.
The imposing figure of Saito Kagine, a much-feared figure by all slackers in physical education classes, was framed by the doorway. And, in his grasp -
Huh?! What's he doing here?
"Kagine-san... What brings you here?"
He marched up to the front, dragging the orange-haired boy along with him.
"Who the hell is that?"
"I don't recognise him..."
"I found this delinquent outside just now. He's about the right age to be in your class, even though he claims," and at this Kagine scowled even more fiercely, "that he was 'just visiting'. If you'll excuse me now, I have my lessons to manage..."
He turned around and left, leaving a quaking gikongan behind.
That moron! Couldn't he even stay out of trouble? Uryuu raged silently.
"I told you! I'm not even in this class – "
The teacher muttered something uncomplimentary under her breath about her co-worker. "Right. What's your name?"
"U-uh..."
Rukia was frowning at the boy with an intent expression. Probably trying to figure out what's going on. She's not the only one, for that matter... why did he have to run into a school teacher of all things?
"My name is Kaizo Komura!" he declared suddenly, appearing to come to a decision. "Yeah, I actually go to a different school, but they were having a day off so I wanted to go see some friends - "
"Whatever. Just wait here for the time being while I go see the principal, he can check. Class, if you make any ruckus while I'm gone, you're all responsible for cleaning up!" And with those parting words, she swept out the door.
Kaizo blinked, before his attention turned to the other occupants of the room.
"Hey... are all the girls in this town this hot?"
"Who the hell is he to say stuff like that?" ranted Keigo.
"A-ah... actually, he's sort of cute..."
"Thief! I won't have you corrupt my precious – "
"Does this sort of thing normally happen, Uryuu?" the shinigami whispered in his ear.
"No. It's probably just that you're a bad luck jinx or something, Kuchiki-san."
Tatsuki turned to look at him. "Ishida... you know this guy?"
"What? No! Why would I possibly know that class of person?"
And suddenly, Kaizo was in their faces, something that caused Orihime to make a small 'eep' noise and flinch backwards, blushing.
"What're your names... pretty ladies..."
"Ah... O-Orihime Inoue..."
"Rukia Kuchiki."
"You're just going to answer him?!" Tatsuki shrieked, dropping into a martial arts stance and shifting towards Kaizo in order to get a better angle of attack.
"...would you kindly get out of my face?"
"Hey, cutie pie, you don't need to get so flustered... although you're a bit flat-chested for my taste... and your friend's attitude... playing hard to get, huh?"
The silence that fell with that one statement was electric. Even Tatsuki turned to stare.
Kaizo suddenly noticed the aura of impending doom that Uryuu was giving off.
He tried to backpedal, frantically. "Actually, there's stuff you can do for that kind of thing, I'm sure in a couple of years – "
"What did you just say?"
Uryuu's facial expression was roughly equivalent to the one that had only ever been seen once, when, upon carrying one of his most grandiose creations to a shop, it had been wrecked beyond all repair by some idiot who had been targeting Yasutora Sado.
Kaizo scrambled back as realization suddenly hit him.
"...oh shit you're a guy – " was as far as he got, before Uryuu's hand twitched towards his sleeve.
"Die."
"...don't you think that was a bit overkill?" Rukia asked, trying to keep up with his longer stride.
"He insulted my masculinity." Uryuu did not look at Kuchiki.
"Well, yeah... but it took them an hour to get him down... and then his dad came in to rescue him..." Keigo muttered to himself. "I'm never pissing you off again..."
"Then they should just have asked me to let him down in the first place."
"They did."
"...oh. I didn't notice that, Sado-san... I must not have been paying enough attention." Although it was quite amusing when Urahara-san turned up claiming to be looking for his delinquent son Kaizo.
Uryuu smiled, an action that caused Keigo to whimper just a little.
Honestly. Why is everyone so disturbed when I smile?
...Uryuu... you do realise... you almost never actually smile when you're around people. And when you do, it's usually because you're pissed at something.
He blinked. Really? Oh... well, at least we managed to get the gigai back without too much fuss... although I'm not sure whether you actually want to keep that guy or not.
He isn't too bad, actually. There was a brief image of a petrified Kaizo being hugged by Ichigo. Once you get to know him.
"...and then he started actually laughing to himself, it was seriously creepy! I thought the world was going to end or something – "