(Ashley's POV)

The door shut behind Shay. I was frozen. So many things were going through my head at that moment. I laid there on the bed, staring at the closed door. I couldn't belive what had just happened. She actually kissed me.. The girl of my dreams actually kissed me and I did nothing in return. That's a lot to take in. I wished i had said something. I did have felings for her, but it all happened in a fraction of seconds. I could have kissed her back but i didn't. She will obviously feel like crap and I can't digest the fact that the reason was actually my silence. I can never forgive myself for that. There was never any warning that Shay and mine's relationship was possibly going somewhere other than being best friends. And it was my first ever girl kiss. And I didn't even do anything about it.

Wow you really blew it Ashley.

I creid a little and i don't know why, but crying always makes me sleepy so i dozed off immediately.

When i woke up, my mom was sitting in a chair beside my bed. She was holding my hand like how she did when I was younger. Her eyes lit up when she saw that i was awake.

"Ashley, my baby You're alright!" She said, with tears of joy brimming her eyes.

"Yeah, here I am. I missed you so much."

She sniffled and shook her head sadly. "I missed you too.." We sat there in silence. My mum then spoke again. "Baba, how come you never told anyone about your cutting?"

The smile on my face quickly vanished and I sighed, slowly sitting up on my bed.

"I don't know, I was just too scared of what people might think. I didn't want to be judged for it." I said, avoiding my mom's eyes.

"Oh, ashley. I see what you mean but please, from now on- always tell me or one of the girls about what's troubling you." She told me with a stern face.

"Okay, i will." I replied.

"Alright, i dont wanna disturb you anymore. Sleep for a while. I will be here when you wake up." She said giving me a soft smile.

I nodded my head.

(Shay's POV)

I was basically crying my eyes out. It felt like i ruined our friendship. It kinda felt like its the end for us. I was sitting in a chair in the waiting room waiting for the girls.

Troian and lucy came after a while.

At that moment i was not crying but one could guess that i was crying for a long time seeing my eyes. So obviously troian noticed and she started to question me.

"Oh my god, Shay! What's wrong? Did anything happen to ashley when we were away?" she asked and i could sense the nervousness in her voice.

"No, no! She's fine. Ashley's mom is with her."

"But why were you crying baba? Is evrything fine between you two?" she asked with a concerned face.

I silently noded "No, i ruined it" I couldn't control my tears.

Lucy hugged me from sideways " What's wrong shay? You know you can tell anything to us"

"I know guys, but i just don't know how to start. I think I just ruined everything with me and Ashley." I replied.

I shook my head and said "Forget it, I don't want to talk about it.

Troian and Lucy gave me looks of disbelief.

"Oh, come on Shay!" Lucy said.

"Guys... I..." My voice choked but I wanted to let this off my chest.

"Guys, I love ashley. More than I should.." I fianlly found the words.

"I have always loved her as more than a friend. I wish I didn't but I do." I said with a stern face.

"OH MY GOD! I KNEW IT" lucy said like a child.

"That's great, Shay! Did you tell ashley about this?" troian asked me.

"Yeah, just some mins back." I said holding back my tears.

"That is literally the cutest and most unexpected news I've gotten in a long time!" Lucy chimed in.

I couldn't believe what they were saying.

"Wait you guys are actally okay with me liking Ashley?" I asked in confusion.

"Yeah silly! We love you and Ash uncondtionally, no matter who you guys love." Troian said.

My face slowly fell. "But that's the thing though, I don't think Ash likes me back."

"What makes you think that?" Lucy asked me.

I thought about it for a moment and said, "Today, after you guys left to go eat, Ash and I were talking about her cuts. When she was explaining to me why she hurt herself, she said that she felt worthless and ugly. I told her she was beautiful and she said "I wish I could believe that", so I did something stupid to make her believe it.. I kissed her." Tears filled in my eyes as I spoke. "And when i ended the kiss, you know what she did? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! She just stared at me like i was an alien or something. She didn't even utter a word. And I left because she probably hates me now for completely ruining our friensdhip."

A few tears slipped out of my eyes, which I immediately wiped. Troian and Lucy moved closer to me and gave me a hug.

"Babe, Yours and Ashley's frienship is so strong that I think you and her will get through this soon" Troian said.

"I hope so." I said not looking up.

"Oh Shay, please don't worry about it too much. Maybe ash just needs some time to think" Lucy said to me.

"I guess so." I said.

"Oh babe, come here." Troian said reaching her arms out to me.

I accepted the hug and buried my face into her shoulder. I felt Lucy's hand on my arm. I looked up at her and she forced a little smile, trying to light up the really cared about me. That's something that I cannot thank them enough for.

"Can you guys stay with me tonight? I don't wanna be alone" I asked them.

"Oh darling, sure!" They said comforting me with a hug.

After a few minutes, we all left and I felt an ache in my heart. I felt horrible about leaving Ashley behind. But I guessed it was what I had to do. After all, I figured she probably was upset with me and wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

When we made it out to the hospital's parking lot, we were immediately bombarded by paps.

"Shit." I cursed under my breathe, having forgotten that they were camped out there, waiting for news on Ashley.

I felt troian protectively grab my hand as she lead me to her car. Cameras rapidly flashed and paps shouted out hundreds of questions to us. I kept my head down, trying my best to hide my bloodshot eyes. We made in to Troi's car and lucy sat on the back seat. Troian drove off to my home.

"We're here for you, Shay" Troian said, gesturing to herself and Lucy, who was seated in the back. "Don't you worry, We'll always be together no matter what happens." She said.

Oh how I wish I didn't have to worry about anything right now.

A/N: I'm finally free and I will try to update frequtnly like I used to. Thanks for the support people :) xx