Chapter 14 - The Worry of Madness (D)

"Mail's in, Darry!"

"Just toss it on the table, Pony, I'll get to it after while."

"You sure? There's a letter from Soda."

"What!" I came running out of the bathroom with my towel across my shoulders and shaving cream over half my face. "Why didn't you tell me that earlier?" I rounded on him and snatched the letter out of his hand. We hadn't had one in months. I tore open the seal and began to read.

Not much to tell here. We got moved to a new base even more in the middle of nowhere than the first. We patrol, eat, sleep occasionally… Like I said, not much to write about. Anyway, I'm safe and sound. No VC has messed my face up just yet. Hope you're all keeping well at home.

Love Always,

Soda

I just stood there staring at the letter. Months of nothing, and this is all we get? I tossed the letter on the table, clenched my fists, and went to finish my shave. Let's just say there were a few nicks on my face after I was done. Too much distraction, too little patience.

I headed to work with my head still stormy. Pounding a few nails usually helps me work out my frustrations, but today it didn't really help. After my eight hours were up, I made my way home. As I came up closer to the house, my day took a straight turn for the better. Hannah's car was in the driveway.

A minute later, I was in the house and went immediately to the kitchen following the sounds. The best part of my day was standing at the counter in my mama's apron mixing up a batch of what were probably biscuits. Without saying a word, I just went up behind her, wrapped my arms around her waist, and laid my chin on her shoulder. We just stayed like that for awhile as she kept mixing. As she reached for the biscuit cutter, I broke the silence.

"You weren't supposed to come over tonight. What changed your mind?"

"Pony called me. He said you were having a rough day. Then he added that my biscuits might go a long way in helping, but I think that request was more for him than you."

I gave a low chuckle at that and sat in one of the chairs.

"You're probably right about the biscuits, but I ain't gonna stand here and complain. He was right about the rough day though."

Hannah dusted off her hands and sat down next to me. "What's on your mind, Darry?"

"Are you sure you don't need to finish up the biscuits?"

"They'll keep. What's eating you?"

I let out a small sigh and slumped in my chair. How did this woman always seem to cut right to the chase? I could never distract her from anything, so why did I keep trying?

"We finally got a letter from Soda. After months, all we get is seven sentences. Seven lousy sentences! They didn't even tell us anything. He could have written 'I'm fine' and it would have told us just about as much. This isn't like him! He's never held anything back from us. I feel like we're losing him."

Hannah didn't say anything for a minute. Finally, she made a simple request.

"Can I see it?"

I just nodded, and she picked up the letter off the table. After a time, she folded it back up and just held it in her lap.

"This looks like the ones Charlie sends us. There are only a few, and they don't say much. They almost seemed… detached."

"Why? What's changed? What the hell are they doing to them over there? It's makin' me want to climb the walls because I don't know what's happenin', and there's not a single thing I can do about it!" I don't do well with being helpless. This feeling reminded me of when we lost Pony a couple years back. Anyone around could tell you exactly how bad I got. I was like a caged animal ready to tear anyone apart who came near while he was missing. Soda got the worst of it and never said a word.

"You know what, Dar? I've been thinking about this for awhile now. I was as disturbed as you when Charlie's letters changed. I think they're pulling away on purpose. I think they're trying to spare us. There's no telling what's going on over there. No one's talking about it. In fact, it seems as if they'll go to any lengths not to talk about what our soldiers are going through. Now I don't know Soda, but I do know Charlie. He would rather tell us nothing and make us worry than tell us the truth and give us nightmares as well as the worry."

I just sat there for awhile thinking about what she said. Knowing Soda, it seemed to fit.

It's my turn, Dar. My turn to keep us safe.

What kind of man was he gonna be when he came home? I'd known of guys that came back with shell shock so bad that they couldn't even have a life. They ended up losin' their families and had to hide themselves away. I needed to get out of here for awhile. Suddenly, the walls were feelin' pretty tight.

"You may be right, but it doesn't ease my mind any. You want to take a walk? I need some air."

"Alright, but I need to put the biscuits in, so we'll need to stay close."

She went about her business and popped the pan in the oven. Then she dusted her hands off and started takin' off the apron.

"Where'd you find that?" I asked her.

"Crushed up in the back of one of the drawers. Honestly, you'd think you never looked through a single thing in here."

"Hey now, have you ever seen a red blooded man wear an apron? Anyway, I'm glad you found it. It's good to see it bein' used."

"Well, so it doesn't get lost again, I think it can hang right here." She flashed me her trademark grin and hung it on the same hook that Mama had always hung it on. Then she grabbed my hand and we headed out.

It was a nice March evening, so we just strolled lazily. As we were gettin' back to the house, a crazy idea started forming in my head. It just kept getting clearer and clearer the closer we got. Finally we got to the steps, I stopped her, and pulled her close.

"Hannah, now if you run for the hills, I won't fault you. What I'm about to say is probably going to make you question my sanity. I want to marry you."

"So wanting to marry me makes you insane? Thanks a lot, Dar."

"That came out wrong. You know that's not what I meant."

"We've only been together for less than six months."

"So? I know what I want, and that ain't gonna change. You can make me wait another five years, and I'll still ask you the same thing."

She was silent for awhile. She was makin' me sweat it out, and it was pure torture. Then, in a split second, my world got a whole lot brighter. She flashed me that gorgeous grin and said, "Alright," and my jaw dropped open.

"You're not joshin' me?"

"You know me better than that, Darrel Curtis. Yes, with God as my witness, I'll marry you. With one condition."

"Alright," I responded hesitantly, "What is it?"

"I don't want a long engagement. I'm either your wife, or I'm not. I can't do a half in, half out deal. Three months tops. I don't need anything fancy."

The last shred of doubt and worry left. If that was her only condition, I'd be more than happy to oblige.

"Done. Now come here, Woman." I pulled her even closer and had the best kiss of my life. And then I started laughing… and laughing… I couldn't stop.

"Darrel, what in blazes are you laughing like a lunatic for?"

I kept laughing, but finally managed to choke out, "I never got down on one knee. I don't even have a ring. Hell, I didn't even talk to your dad! This is the biggest mess of a proposal in the history of proposals! Why in God's name did you agree to this?"

I was still laughin', and then she started joining me. We looked like a pair straight out of the asylum. Through her tears, she responded, "A wedding ring will be fine, and if you're on your knees, I'd rather you be scrubbing the kitchen floor. It's filthy!" She busted back into laughter before she continued. "And as for Daddy… well… I'll just make sure his shotgun isn't loaded when you tell him we're already engaged.!"

We were still dissolved in laughter when we burst into the house. Pony was sitting in the living room looking at us like the lunatics we were. We just went right past him back to the kitchen. Let him sit there confused for awhile; I had biscuits to eat and a fiancee to be with.