I woke up feeling light-headed; my mind was dizzy and tired and... completely unaware of the concept of time. I opened my eyes and squinted against the blinding sunlight that surrounded me. My vision came into focus gradually until I clearly saw a desk stuck on the ceiling. For several moments, I just stared at the floating piece of furniture and wondered if gravity was inverted in the afterlife...
I abruptly lifted my body off the side of the bed, pulled my head off of the floor, and felt the blood rush immediately from my flushed face. Spots danced in my eyes as I fought to retain composure and sit up straight.
The white bed cover had somehow managed to travel clear across the room through the night and wind up next to the desk—which was now sitting upright on the floor as it last was.
Both of the pillows were against the wall.
I sat up and arched my back tightly as I stretched. Despite the warm sunlight, I still felt a strong chill across my body. I looked down and suddenly realized that I must have fallen asleep while changing into my sleeping clothes...
The Titans and I had gotten back to the Tower extremely late. After hunting down the individual pyromoths through the City, we rushed through some formal procedures with the local law enforcement and surrounded the apartment where we had followed a small tracker that Robin had placed in the suitcase. After that, it was a small matter of gaining unlawful entry into the room and hiding in the shadows. Fortunately, the police took care of most of the resulting crime scene; Robin's favor apparently pulled through. We arrived at the Tower quickly and nobody said a single word as each one trudged up to his or her room.
I yawned exaggeratedly and slipped the off-white tanktop over my bare shoulders, feeling slightly warmer.
Firefly was taken in and the police began questioning him from the moment he started trudging down the stairs of the suddenly-awake motel. He didn't answer a single question but he didn't keep quiet with typical machismo: for the oddest reason, he seemed scared. Not frightened like a small child, but... scared into silence.
Killer Moth managed to evade the scene without a trace. Robin never said anything about it to Beast Boy from the motel room to the Tower, but I know I wasn't the only one that felt the unspoken tension.
I bent up, pulled the pants back over my legs, and fastened them at my waist.
Something told me there was no need for him to say anything to Beast Boy, either. I sensed that he dealt with failure in his own way...
The door slid open and I walked through dazed but fully dressed. I walked forward and noticed that the only sound in the hallway was a soft pat as my shoes touched the floor. Each room I passed was silent as a grave and merely echoed my silence.
Door after door.
I pulled the last door of the long hallway open a crack, slid into the Main Room, and saw...
...nothing.
A mild feeling of worry wormed its way into my head.
Perhaps they were simply out... without giving me any warning.
The handle of the pantry twisted smoothly underneath my hand; I slowly opened the door—painfully listening the creaking that penetrated the silence—and scanned its contents.
Condiments.
Canned meat products.
"Trash" food.
And...
I smiled, reached in, and pulled out a small box; my fingers gingerly fished out a small bag as I earnestly read the outside of the package for instructions. They seemed simple enough, so I pulled out a small pot, took it to the sink and filled it with the specified amount of water; I set it on the stove and absentmindedly watched it heat up. After only a minute, the bubbles began gaining speed and count as the water simmered and I watched with tired eyes. A small bag dangled in my hands. The stove glowed red, and I eagerly dropped the enclosed leaves to my tea.
My tea?
My tea?
The Titans' tea.
It was certainly the Titans' tea, it belong to them by all rights. They bought it. Everything in the tower was theirs; I was just borrowing it indefinitely. My eyes wandered over the cavernously empty room and I suddenly saw the strings on my body, invisible strings that were beginning to tie me to the tower.
Strings of attachment.
Strings of familiarity.
Strings of comfort.
Too comfortable. Over the past several days, I had grown close, confident, and unwary; by now, I was only inviting disaster.
A soft whistle brought my hand to the pot and I cautiously poured the contents into a cup I fished out of a cupboard.
Chains of vulnerability.
Chains of weakness.
Chains of—PLLBBBBTT!
Tea sprayed everywhere as I fell over the kitchen sink and spit out the brown drink form my mouth, the cup hung loosely by my face as the last of it dribbled out.
That was tea?
That was tea!
The last of the brown liquid trailed into the drain as I rubbed my tongue against the sides of my mouth, fighting to rid my taste buds of the flavor: it was weak and dull and dirty, like the taste of moistened dead grass, the taste of recycled water, the taste of diluted urine.
"GAH!"
Grimacing, I fought off the last of the taste and fumbled to pour out the rest of the kettle into the sink. I inhaled deeply when I finally got rid of it and was suddenly grateful there was no one around to see—
SWISH.
The door to the Main Room opened.
"Hey."
And Beast Boy stepped out.
"We're wondering when you'd get up. We're all on the roof. " He moved back inside of the hall and turned around. "You coming?"
—
"...So I called the police and they arrested all three of them while I got outta there."
Laughter.
"That's crazy, man." Cyborg stopped working and smiled. "I still can't believe that kid asked if you wanted to 'get on the horse!' What is it, the 80s?"
"Robin, I do not understand the cause for the embarrassment when you were in the crowded club of dancing," Starfire insisted. "What did the people say to you?"
He looked down at the end of his mop and focused on a huge red glob of partially dissolved goop. "Nothing... dumb things..."
Beast Boy burst through the roof access door and strutted across a thick layer of smeared slime. "Hey, look who I found!"
I slowly emerged from the darkness of the staircase and, for the second time in a single morning, I blinked madly against the blinding sunlight.
Slowly, images formed beneath the glaring light around me. Starfire and Robin stood in the center of the roof with large mops, earnestly scrubbing away at the goo that coated the floor; Cyborg was on the left wing, bent over a large section of broken panels on the top of the roof; Raven floated to my right, noiselessly shoveling debris into collective piles.
"Pleasant mid-morning," Starfire announced with a wide smile. "Have you come to join us in our endeavor of the daybreak?"
I stood transfixed in the same spot. "Mm... yes?"
Despite my previous belief, her smile did manage to grow even wider.
"Glorious!"
Beast Boy waltzed past me and lay down on clear spot on the ground. "Dude, I still don't know why you're making us work. The sky is clear and the day is perfect for a little Frisbee action." He instantly morphed into a gold retriever with the last line and panted happily.
"Because," Robin answered casually, "if we leave this stuff on here any longer, it's gonna weld itself to the tower walls and leave permanent red stains." He stopped working and propped himself with the mop as he faced Beast Boy. "And do you know who would be scheduled to clean the entire thing by himself?"
The puppy lowered his head and whimpered; Beast Boy rose from the floor and walked away, sourly muttering under his breath. "A simple 'just cause' woulda worked..."
The scene returned to its previous mechanical work. I stood by awkwardly, unsure of exactly what I was supposed to be doing: I wasn't on the schedule. Uneasily, I snatched a nearby mop from the floor and set myself immediately to the task of scrubbing the floor to a perfect shine.
Unfortunately, it was easier imagined than done.
Every time I tried to clean any part of the floor, the slimy red residue simply smeared across the floor and stained the rooftop; the mop itself seemed to be less than useless for actually cleaning the floor. I began furiously thrusting the mop head against the floor as I grew more determined to vanquish the parasitic goo. The mop nearly hit the point where it burst into flames, when all of a sudden, a shadow interrupted.
"We appreciate your help last night." The edges of her cloak flapped in my line of sight. I stopped mopping and stood idly as her voice continued in a tepid whisper. "They—We realize that you don't owe us anything and we..." A distinct sigh escaped from under hood. "...and we'd like to offer you membership."
I stood rigid and met her shrouded eyes.
"Membership?"
The eyes never blinked.
"To the Titans."
The two of us were high above the surrounding buildings; I stood transfixed, terrified by the most harmless of offers. Despite the unclouded sky and the bright sunlight, the heavy winds nailed the cold through my thin clothes and sent unconscious shivers down my back.
Dark-colored eyes stared back at me.
I stood with my mouth slack and my thoughts racing to keep up with time.
"Ya..."
We were alone and yet I felt the presence of the others: their ears undoubtedly strained to hear what I had to say.
Every second, every movement of the millions of clocks around the world, ticked loudly around me.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick
Tick Tick
Tick Tick Tick
TickTickTickTickTickTickTickTickTick
Sigh.
"Take your time."
The solid rock beneath my feet melted back into a layer of pasty red slime.
"I... I will."
Raven hovered in place and slipped her eyes away. "Think about it."
He slowly turned and calmly walked away. "And Mika..." The dark eyes faced me once more. "Doverie nikto."
The only thing I felt was the smooth wood of the mop tightly grasped in my hands; not a single thought strolled through my mind.
Mop mindlessly.
Silently.
Take a walk.
Yes, a walk...
The handle fell to the floor with a light thwack. My feet absentmindedly shuffled forward and I found myself moving away from the clean spot I had scraped into the roof. In the distance, tiny movements outlined the busy day of the oblivious citizens. I stepped toward the edge of the roof and prepared to join them...
...and discreetly spied red hair flowing out of the corner of my eye.
I jerked my foot back in response; my eyes darted away from the faraway scene and settled on the new figure beside me.
Starfire stood a pace from the edge. Her eyes strayed ahead, absorbing the same scene I had been watching seconds earlier. Several seconds of silence proceeded as I continued watching her steady eyes and unwavering face; the expression was nostalgic and sad, but somehow laced with some sort of happiness. A gentle rhythm of continuous scrubbing carried on behind us as we stood in noiseless contemplation.
It scared me.
Cough.
Her eyes stayed on the distant city as I recovered from my feigned cough. "I wish to ask whether you wish to partake in a journey in my company."
I stood rigid for a moment as unlabeled alarms went off madly in my head. The prospect of any type of journey displeased me greatly, even more with a complete stranger. But the sudden chance to escape the Tower's strings drew me in regardless of the cost.
"Yes."
"Yes?" she echoed. "Wonderful."
Starfire spun from her position and faced me completely; the familiar wide smile covered her face and her eyes sparkled with superhuman delight. "I wish to venture forth to the mall of shopping!"
I felt Despair mount on top of my shoulders.
"I am delighted that you should join me, Mika." She leaped into the air in glee and began speaking extremely quickly. "It has been many Earth months since I was able to journey to the assorted clothing and entertainment departments of the local shopping center. Every time I ask Robin, Cyborg, or Beast Boy, their eyes begin moving quickly and they suggest that I ask Raven. But Raven always acquires a debilitating illness when I ask her. Although..." She shot a quick look at the busy empath and continued in a hurried whisper. "Although, I am beginning to suspect that she may be feigning the illnesses."
I stood in her gaze, pressed beneath the mountain of words and unaware of how to respond.
"Yes?"
She moved beside me and threw one more glance over the faraway cityscape. "While we are there we can acquire clothes for you, as well; I noticed that the container you brought to the Tower was significantly empty. Shall we go now?"
I nodded and turned to say something to the rest of the Titans.
The orange arm grabbed me before I could let out a word and swept me off my feet. The busy Titans on the roof grew small and distant as I flew backwards into the air, struggling against the pressure.
I twisted in my place and faced the front; our path twirled above the inlet and, for some odd reason, I truly felt like I was flying. My legs drifted back, my arms stuck out loosely, and cool mist brushed against my face as Starfire gently guided us over the fresh waves of the morning waters.
Strings of attachment.
I jerked in the air as we approached the docks and a wave of discomfort hit me strongly in the depth of my stomach.
"Umm... Starfire?" I glanced upward and spotted a look of eerie happiness on the alien's face. "Starfire? Perhaps we should walk the rest of the way—"
"—Oh!"
Just like that... the arms holding me several meters up in the air disappeared from beneath me.
And I fell.
The air rushed past me and I felt the sharp air drag on my scarf, vainly attempting to slow me down. As the ground rushed toward me, my hands moved forward before my face and braced for the impact.
Suddenly, I held the distinct impression that Starfire was not going to catch me.
I slammed full force into the green treetop and took it down with me. Leaves flew everywhere as I tumbled down the snapping wooden maze at only a slightly reduced speed and fought to gain any sort of balance. A branch struck me in the ribs and broke off as the rest of me pressed against it.
Falling.
Lunging out blindly into the air, I scarcely felt my fingers brush against solid bark.
It was all I needed.
I gripped the tree single-handedly and swung my lower body in an arc, abruptly changing the direction of my full weight and throwing my body at an odd downward angle. My feet hit and skid on the grass as I leaned forward and awkwardly brought myself to a complete stop. I bounced up and flexed my fingers with a wild smile on my face.
That's how you start the day.
"Are..." A middle-aged man appeared next to me with a look of complete disbelief. "Are you okay?"
I shrugged casually and ignored the burning sensation in the hand that had just saved my life. "I think so."
"Mika!"
My shoulders twitched at the loud, distinct pronouncing of my name; without delay, Starfire reappeared behind me, her eyes in wide shock, and her mouth moving like a speeding bullet. "I am most terribly sorry. I was observing the water and I became forgotten in my own thoughts; I was not fully concentrating on the flight and my hands accidentally opened without warning. Please know that I would never intentionally—"
"I'm safe." I looked at myself, and noticing no damaged other than the leaves clinging to my clothes, returned the glance back to Starfire.
"I am grateful." She sighed deeply and slipped a small smile on her face. "Let us continue."
Starfire faced the direction where she had entered and began to make her way out; I followed closely behind, but not before sneaking one last look at the dumbstruck man beside us.
Confusion is priceless.
—
Sunlight gleamed off the moving vehicles; shadows cloaked the roads between the towering buildings; and fresh air filled the sky with a lively presence. The natural ambiance incited a generic bustle through the city. But few people graced the sidewalk, most apparently preferred the comfort of the air-conditioned, steel chariots of apathy.
A dark-green car sped past us on the road and pulled a cool current across my back.
"They seem so happy."
Stepping off the curb, I walked towards the next street and faced Starfire.
"Who?"
We gradually made our way across the street through a temporary gap in the cars.
"Them."
My eyes moved through the city around us: farther down the sidewalk, a well-dressed mother pushed her baby in a stroller; an elderly man slowly drove in the road beside us; two dark-skinned men laughed through the window of a convenience store. All around us, ambient serenity drifted in silence.
"I do not frequent the streets of the city when not fighting and I have desired to do so for a time now," she continued. "I wish to walk among the citizens and see the city as they do."
I nodded in passive indifference and casually glanced around at the surrounding neighborhood: a scraggly man with a beard dug through a dumpster nestled in a narrow alleyway; a cluster of middle-aged businessmen honked angrily from their cars at a slow truck delaying traffic; a man fumble nervously as he spoke to another at the cash register of a pawn shop. All around... serenity drifted?
"They are always so confident, so certain, and yet, they have absolutely no way of defending themselves. I do not know how they do it."
My eyes floated back ahead. "They look lazy," I mumbled to myself.
We continued moving slowly past a pastry store in comfortable silence.
No way of defending themselves.
They really are powerless. They truly possess nothing beyond their own humanity to help them stand up to injustice; everyday, the citizens wake up unaware of their fate and hope that the Titans will catch the falling debris and stop the speeding trains and foil the villains' evil plan.
Their only hope rests on five teenage vigilantes?
Somehow, I refused to believe that anyone could actually do tha—
"Ummma, Missus?"
We paused and I threw a quick glance behind us to look for the voice.
"Missus Starfire?"
Turning around, I glanced down and abruptly noticed the tiny girl standing before us.
"You're a Team Titan!"
Starfire beamed beside me and gave an odd wave in response. "Correct, little girl. I am part of the Teen Titans, the group that protects the people of the city, like you."
"You talk funny!"
The alien's eyebrows dropped ever so slightly, and the little girl obliviously continued. "I was going to the store yesterday with my mommy in the car and we saw you flying really fast over the car and there was some bad guys flying away and you were really fast."
Starfire nodded and replied, "That is also correct, litt—"
"I said 'wow, that's fast!' and my mommy said it wasn't right for a young lady to be flying in a skirt but I told her that purple was pretty and flying was fun and I want to fly when I grow up and then she said that if you did that outside than she didn't know what else you did in a house full with boys."
It was so quiet I could hear a dog barking across the city.
Starfire's face sat in an expression of hopeless confusion.
"I said that you probably made them clean the house, but then—"
And suddenly, the girl stopped in mid-sentence, faced me completely—as if only then realizing that I was standing there—scanned me from top to bottom, and cocked her head to the side.
"Who are you?" I opened my mouth to respond, but she cut me off. "Are you a Titan?"
I stood with my mouth completely agape, as a feeling of discomfort crept over me.
Membership.
To the Titans.
Starfire answered for me, "She will be soon, little girl."
Soon?
"Cool!"
I smiled nervously and furiously looked for something on which to focus my gaze.
"I'm gonna tell all my friends!"
The little girl instantly turned and ran down the sidewalk, disappearing into the grocery store where she had presumable originated from.
"That..." Starfire began, as she turned to face me, "was... ... ... enjoyable?"
I shrugged and started walking again.
Soon.
—
The cold blast hit bitterly; a shiver wormed its way across my shoulders and down my back and forced me to slightly twitch. We stood between two open doors in the threshold of a tremendous indoor plaza.
Mall.
A warehouse of wealth; a collection of capital; a brothel of businesses intent on liberating hard-earned tender from their temporary carriers.
I stood at the entrance and looked over the masses of people.
Rows.
Quickly moving, bustling about their own business, and pushing their prizes before them.
Carrying in their arms all they could carry: jars – large, transparent, filled to the brim with nonperishables; books – thick, weathered, carefully censored by black ink; and blankets, stacks of blankets.
I watched the people move around, hurriedly, mindlessly, inattentively.
Like a pack of rats.
Hungry rats.
"Move it."
The force hit me from the side.
A metal cart led by a large woman in green rushed aside as she ignored the fact that she had hit me to the ground with her grotesquely wide thighs. I quickly picked myself up and walked out of the way of the crowd behind me; they continued rushing past without the slightest regard for anything.
The orange alien appeared next to me and her concerned eyes looked me over before continuing, "You are unharmed?"
"Completely."
"Wonderful!" she exclaimed. "Then let us venture forth to the first store of clothing."
Her hand firmly clasped my wrist and my feet left the ground.
Again.
—
"Stick to the right, okay?"
"That's what I'm doing!"
"No, you're wandering this way, and that's exactly what'll get us killed."
"Whatever, I know that—"
The dog came in from nowhere, and as it dove forward, the only thing more threatening than its bloodthirsty snarl was the way it moved its muscular, sleek, and completely skinless body. A hellish growl erupted forth as the jaws sprung open and the claws extended.
Cyborg flipped up the pistol and peeled off three shots into its face.
"See? If you would've been lookin' at your own side, it wouldn't have sneaked up on us."
Beast Boy shook his head and turned back to the screen. "Dude, I'm telling you, I got my own system."
"Right, okay. Just watch the screen."
Raven sighed; she had trouble even concentrating: every fifty seconds Cyborg would groan and complain that Beast Boy was "looking at the wrong side of the screen" or "just looking for power-ups" or something menial, and the green elf would shout some insult back and they would start arguing again, all while deftly firing away at deformed zombies on the television screen with wired guns.
"Dude, stop looking for power-ups and concentrate on the zombie chef that's throwing knives at us!"
Slowly, Raven lowered her cup into the sink next to another fallen cup and rinsed it out before approaching the huge screen where the two Titans rhythmically swayed the twin pistols from left to right across the carnage-strewn screen. She stood for a minute, not saying a word but only staring past the room into the distant city, until finally her lips stirred.
"Do you think she'll join?"
A barrage of shots tore apart a crazed doctor lunging in midair and sent him crumpling to the floor. Beast Boy and Cyborg simultaneously turned their heads and faced the empath that stoically stood staring at the massacre on screen.
"Why?"
Raven noiselessly nodded her head and waved off the question. "Nevermind..."
"She'll do something," Cyborg reassured, "And I'm sure it'll have nothing to do with anything we do or say."
He spun back and unloaded an entire clip into an angry undead maid.
Raven stood still.
"Shouldn't you two be repairing broken glass instead of playing zombie video games?"
Beast Boy turned away from the screen and smiled. "We're just taking a little break, Robin won't even know we're—"
"Watch your side of the screen, Beast Boy!"
"—I am!"
Raven sighed.
"Why do I even bother?"
—
The brown eyes stared back me, daring me to call them liars, challenging me to prove that they were at fault for anything. The mirror reflected my own gaze, and I stared nonchalantly back at the figure before me: brown hair, brown eyes, pretty shoes. At the moment, I wore a bright yellow shirt that was too small. The bottom barely reached my waistline, the front of the collar dipped low, the material was extravagantly thin, and it fit my torso like a tight glove.
Peeling off the garment, I threw it in a small pile and pulled on my regular long-sleeve shirt.
Another rejection.
I gathered the pile and quickly exited the cramped stall. Several girls walked past but my attention went out to the rest of the clothing store that was within my line of sight; my eyes roamed looking for...
"Mika!"
...Starfire.
She materialized beside me with her green eyes shining. "Did you find favor among the collection that I selected?"
Nervously, I eyed the clothes that lay across my arms, and fumbled for an answer: "I, Mm, I... No."
She didn't even blink.
"But, the TV of M declared that this clothing was inside during the season, and the TV of M does not lie." Starfire paused only a single moment and continued. "Perhaps I should continue to seek the other variations I have seen on the television."
I nodded and pretended to know what she was saying until she flew back to her search. Row after row filled the clothing store that mimicked a warehouse, save for it's neatly painted and decorated walls; people moved through the empty rows systematically examining every piece of clothing, occasionally pulling one out and laying it in their blue plastic carts.
I decided to blend in.
Moving to the nearest row, my attention narrowed to the simple blouses before me, and somehow, they all looked like the ones I had tried on earlier. Changed colors, collar differences, different brands, but they all had the exact same look to them; they all had the same breezy, tight layout that groped me in the stall.
"Jennifer'd do it."
"No way!"
"Yeah she would!"
The two girls stood beside each other in the row in front of me.
"But it would have to be with Brandon?"
"We 'ere talkin' about it today in chemistry and she definitely said she wouldn't not do it!"
"Oh my God, I can so believe it."
Nothing I tried could keep my attention from wandering to the pair's queer discussion.
"I heard that first it was gonna be Shannon, but last week they broke up and he stopped."
"That's prolly why she started crying in English yesterday. She said it was because of her grandma dying, but I totally knew she was lying."
"So this weekend Jenn's finally gonna gi—"
The first girl stopped mid-sentence and turned around.
Nobody was in view.
"Let's finish this over at—"
"—We gotta go pick that jacket while we're there so let's just..."
The voices quickly disappeared out of earshot and left the clothing rack silent. Two red and beige shirts carefully separated and I slowly peered out; apparently, I had ducked in at the right time. For some reason, I felt that the girls had wanted their privacy and would have been less than content with my presence, but for that same reason, I felt compelled to hear them.
I wonder if Jennifer will do it...
"I am curious to learn of the Russian custom that involves hiding in walls of clothing."
The clothes softly swayed as I slowly separated myself from the row; I looked around discreetly and casually straightened myself up. "It is native to my village, and... the smell of the clothes reminded me of home."
Starfire nodded emphatically as she stood beside me. "I wholeheartedly understand..." Her eyebrows lowered slightly and I caught the sound of a stifled choke in her throat. "...I, too, sometimes long for the smell of my mother's hair. It was always spiced with a lovely incense, and I used to try to eat it when I was an infant."
She sighed with distant eyes as the subtle smile slowly faded from her soft face.
I stared at her nostalgic expression and felt a question well up within my mind.
Don't say it.
Don't ask it.
Just keep moving.
"How long has it been... since last you smelled your mother's hair?"
I asked it.
For the first time in the few days I had been with the Titans, Starfire's eyes lost their sparkle.
She attempted to answer, but I could see the words struggling to leave her tongue. As if time had frozen only for us, we stood in dead silence in the blurred tumult of the store environment; a faint expression of weariness slowly appeared on her face and held her silently for a single heavy moment.
"It has been," she sighed with a flooding release of physical tension, "nearly seven Earth years."
I stood before the haunted Titan with uneasiness: despite my best efforts, I could think of nothing to say to her. Every action considered only led to consolation, consolation that inadvertently led to more knowledge. And the last thing I wanted was to know anything more about the Titans. I didn't care to know any more about their life and deeds. Their philosophy and their members did not interest me, especially their resident alien.
I didn't want to know how long she been away from her mother.
I didn't want to know why they had been separated.
I didn't want to know why she came to Earth.
I didn't want to know when she was going back.
I didn't want to know why she always hummed when she was flying.
I didn't want to know why her eyes always lingered on Robin whenever he was addressing the Titans.
I especially didn't want to know why she chose to tell me anything about herself.
I only wanted to know how to get out of the situation that I found myself forced into, the point of no return.
"I... understand, as well."
Failure.
Starfire's gaze found me again and a wispy smile returned to her face.
The spark struck in her eyes and, suddenly, they were ablaze again.
"This set... of denim garments appear to be the most... physically comforting," she said, handing me a pair of dark blue jeans.
I gripped them firmly in my hands and felt them out with my hands; they were coarse, rough, stiff, tightly stitched, and... just the right size.
"Thank you, these are suitable."
"Glorious," the smile softly responded.
Starfire turned and moved down the rows of clothes as I trailed behind her. We crossed the store with relative ease and reached the entrance of the store quickly. But as she moved, I suddenly stopped.
Weren't we supposed to—?
WEEEEOOOOOOOOOP!
Starfire paused and whirled around to me with a look of confusion.
The security alarm continued shouting wildly around us as a man in uniform approached.
Once more, I regretted leaving the Tower that morning.
WEEEEOOOOOOOOOP!
—
The noon sun hung high in the sky as the last of the red goo on the roof flew off the top and landed with a soft plunk into the sea.
Robin held the modified mop before him and leaned heavily on it.
"You think she's going to join?"
The weight shifted to his back leg and he pulled the mop across his back; he turned and made his way back to the rooftop access door.
"...You think she's going to join."
He stopped and glanced at Raven; she floated above the rooftop facing the opposite direction and brought scraps of broken metal into piles. "Why would you ask if you already knew the answer?"
She ignored the misdirection. "Why are we doing this?"
The mop slid off his back and spun around like a staff in mock defense.
"We already discussed this."
"Granted," she replied, "but I still don't see the advantage to inviting danger into our Tower, especially in light of our spectacular track record with members."
Robin sighed roughly. "Friends close... enemies closer."
The trash gathered into its groups and Raven turned with a curious eye.
"She's an enemy now?"
"She's an uncertainty," the Boy Wonder replied without hesitation, "until we get reason to believe otherwise."
A cloud passed over the sun and cast a temporary shadow over the roof. A warm wind swept across the rooftop as Robin turned back around to the roof door; his fingers barely clasped around the door handle...
"You think she's going to join?"
He paused a moment without turning around and smiled.
"I sent Starfire with her. What do you think?"
The door closed behind him.
—
She was crouching under a bridge.
Her back was hunched as she rested her weighted on the hands on her knees. A worried look accompanied her shifting eyes, and an evident shortness of breath suggested she had been running only moments ago.
A breath cut short as she craned her neck forward.
Silence.
She began a sigh of relief and stopped abruptly.
Silence.
Her eyes darted around, scanning everything, searching for the source of her worries.
A shadow slowly crept toward her exposed back.
She leaned forward tentatively, still on her search.
A pair of hands thrust forward; the blow connected solidly and thrust her to the ground and onto her hands and knees.
The attacker giggled.
"You're it!"
The little girl jumped from the ground and brushed off her clothes. "No fair! You're pushing!"
I watched her scurry after the little boy across the plastic indoor playground; rambunctious laughter flowed through the area as I continued observing the playing children: smiling faces, dirty clothes, tousled hair, yelps of joy; a tumult of youth and innocence and sweat.
It was... unnatural. The children should have been in school or—at the very least—working, and their supervision was minimal at best: two women I assumed to be their mothers chatted loudly and excitedly on a nearby bench, dearly wrapped up in distraction. The children ignorantly played nearby, advertising themselves as potential victims for every crime short of espionage.
It would be surprisingly easy to harm their children, the women should be more careful...
"They are almost enviable, are they not?"
I nodded in reply. "I suppose so."
Starfire leaned forward and joined me in leaning against a metal railing as the children giggled before us.
"Their activities, their education, and the beginning of their lives are entrusted in the hands of their caretakers. They do not need to worry about any matter because their lives are... secure."
"How do they know that?"
She continued concentrating on the children and turned slightly in my direction: "I... I am afraid I do not understand, Mika."
"How do they know that what their guardians want for them is safety? How do they know that those desires are for their benefit at all?"
I felt her eyes quietly looking me over. "That is what they are entrusted to do. In society, their role is to protect the ones that cannot protect themselves."
"How can they all be trusted?"
"They can not..." she replied.
Silence delicately dangled between us as the faraway hum of an air-conditioning unit accompanied it.
I hung my head and closed my eyes.
Frigid air.
"But the ones that can strive to secure the world against them."
A smile slowly spread across my face: Starfire was definitely not as naïve as she pretended. She wasn't talking about the children and their parents, and she knew I hadn't even been talking about them.
It was about the Titans.
And she knew about the membership offer.
I leaned off of the rail and turned to face the Titan; her eyes stared back into mine. "You may be correct."
Her face lit up and Starfire smiled warmly before walking ahead toward another line of stores. I watched a single of bag of clothing swing behind her for several second before following.
I knew she was wrong.
Five minutes later, we found ourselves in a room surrounded by walls paneled with expensive equipment. The entrance to the store was a bamboo forest of small booths with cellular telephones; advertisements with "unbelievable offers" littered every available space between the merchandise. The wall to our left was covered with numerous television screens hanging flatly against the wall and displaying some sort of sporting event.
I walked down an aisle as my eyes wandered across the wall; along the perimeter of the floor stood stacks of computer hardware, most of it obscure, expensive, and unrecognizable.
I picked up a loose cable from a hanging collection and stared at it for a few moments.
"Yagde vi soedinyaete zto?"
The cable hung loosely in my hand as I stared dumbly at the circuit board before me.
"There."
She reached over, grabbed the cable from my hand, and directed it into a small space near the top left corner; the cable immediately snapped into place and she returned to her own work.
I stared at a full sheet of instructions for several moments, grabbing pieces and comparing them to the ones on the diagrams.
Minutes of silence trudged past, and I noticed the sun beginning to set outside.
I dropped the pieces before me and sighed heavily; several moments passed before anything broke the silence.
"'Mika."
My eyes drifted toward the girl who sat beside me.
She didn't face me.
"Accept the offer."
"...and the software can be updated through the internet whenever there's a new release, though it won't be too often. Well, through that software you can actually store everything on this thing. It has a secondary function as portable storage for anything: documents, pictures, movies, or whatever you want. It also comes with a year long guarantee that we honor strictly here..."
Starfire stood about two meters in front of me with a very determined looking man in front of her; in his hand, he held a small white rectangular device. The employee emphatically continued his speech to her, making increasingly wider gestures and growing observably excited. From the look on her face though, it seemed that Starfire was missing the entire message of the grand display.
I quietly joined her and caught the end of the presentation.
"...but they don't even compare to this baby. It really is the best player on the market out there." He paused slightly. "So do you think you'd be interested?"
Silence.
Starfire stood absolutely still with the same weak smile that covered her face while the young man had been ranting about the tiny electronic product his hands.
Then, she opened her mouth and replied.
"... … No."
The store clerk stood staring at her with the same expression she had worn only seconds earlier; his eyes shifted and he turned to me, apparently expecting some sort of help.
I shrugged and walked in the opposite direction. In the distance, I heard her beam several words of thankfulness and various offers of business trading; the clerk stammered some response but I felt Starfire follow behind me out of the store.
My shoulders slowly loosened as we passed the threshold without the alarm going off; the earlier event had not been exactly enjoyable, and I looked forward to never repeating the experien—
"HEY!"
I bent my knees and jerked back in response to the random exclamation.
From the far left, I spotted an older youth in casual dress pushing people aside; his hair spun as he threw frequent looks back to the angry man that stumbled behind him through the clumped masses of civilians.
"Stop that kid, he stole that clothes!"
I stood absolutely still as the alleged fugitive sprinted nearer to me. Casually, I crouched down, placed my palms against the smooth, cold tile, and shifted my weight slightly.
...stompSTOMPstompSTOMPstompSTOMPstomp...
The kid ran past me just I thrust my leg out and swung around; I caught his right foot in the air and brought it back against his left leg. The body kept moving as he toppled forward and sprawled onto the floor.
The motion of the sweep brought me back around and I quickly stood up as the uniformed pursuer arrived, more than slightly out of breath.
"Thanks... he stole... a LOT of stuff and... we were... we were tryin' to... to..."
I caught sight of Starfire out of the corner of my eye as she joined me from the right side.
The guard glanced at her... then at me... then back at Starfire... and settled on me.
"Who are you?" He shifted his weight onto his back leg and stared at me with confusion. "Are you a Titan?"
I returned the confused stare for a second.
Then I walked away.
—
The rays hit the rooftop at a perfect diagonal as the sun hung halfway down its evening path, but the still empath sat untouched by it, slowly chanting a set of words under her breath.
Her shadow lengthened under the evening light, but her body, save her lips, sat unmoving.
"This morning..."
Raven tightened her eyes as she spoke aloud. She attempted to remain silent for the remaining time, but words writhed their way through her mouth.
"...she was..."
The two eyes slowly opened and fixated intently on the spot where people had stood several hours earlier; their spiritual traces lingered, etched into the air. A light wind suddenly brushed past and smeared them out of sight without the slightest resistance.
Her gaze gradually floated back through the air into nothingness.
A heavy suspire ended the meditation for the evening.
Raven noiselessly stood and made her way back to the Tower.
She barely moved before looking back at the previous place.
"...she was..."
The edges of her cloak shuffled.
"...she was crying?"
The wind answered with silence.
—
Raucous laughter.
Crying children.
Loud conversations.
And two silent shoppers.
We walked steadily past the crowds of shouting citizens, unaware of any of their commotion.
An awkward silence filled the void between us as we quickly walked through the wide passageway of the mall. The tension only escalated as we drew further and further.
Noise.
Silence.
"I am... unsure of how to respond," Starfire offered.
"I agree," came my reply.
We gradually slowed our pace and kept in step with the flow of people around us.
Silence.
"Perhaps I am alone in wondering..." Starfire began, "about the reasoning behind placing such large quantities of metal rings through one's face."
Only seconds before, we had been shuffling around a very dark store; the maze-like racks displayed clothing of dark hue, and black shirts with white text plastered the walls. There was no reason for us to have been in there, and we quickly grew uncomfortable. We had been backing away toward the door when we were approached by a very... unusual store clerk.
Needless to say, it had not been pleasant.
"There was a hole in his ear," I stated, "that I could have placed my finger through."
We moved along uneasily and passed through the glass entrance doors. The evening breeze greeted us coldly and rippled a spasm across my back muscles; I shivered in response. Starfire sauntered past me, completely unaffected, and continued down to the main street.
I followed her as I took in the city around me: the casual traffic, the decreased number of people on the street, and the gradual sparking of lights as they flickered on against the darkening sky and the setting evening sun.
Shadows grew longer and crossed our path all the way through the cool streets of the slowing city. In only a few minutes, we reached the waves of the city's waters and stopped. Starfire reached for hand, but stopped as she sensed my hesitation.
"Come, let us return to the Tower," she suggested. Her eyes softened slightly. "...If you wish to do so."
Pausing only slight, I nodded my head and offered my hands; Starfire eagerly clenched them and brusquely pulled me off the ground and into the evening sky.
The waves swayed strongly below us, but the dull roar was only a background noise as I kept a stared ahead at the distant island.
There was no way I could join.
Too much comfort.
Too much vulnerability.
Too many chances to get lulled into a false sense of confidence and swallowed by foreign dangers that did not concern me.
The Titans were trouble.
And I needed out.
Out from the strings and away from the chains.
The Tower slowly grew larger as we neared it, and my eyes felt suddenly drawn to the left side of the base; the side covered with fresh green grass.
Toward the green.
It was the most brilliant green I had ever seen, the kind I had only read about in textbooks. The blades were thin and slippery, like an organic wax in my lightly clenched fist. I slowly opened my hands and watched a gust of wind gently weave the beautiful grass through my fingers and into the summer air.
The blades waltzed slowly as they passed above a line of people standing happily on the sides of a road ahead of us.
The crowds stretched all along the sidewalk as their strict attention rested on the cars slowly cruising through the road.
"Ya ne ponimayu."
A voice answered calmly beside me. "It is a public demonstration."
Anxiety stirred through the masses in front of us; anticipation gleamed in the eyes of adults as children scrambled around them, giggling and sneaking looks up the street. Flags sprouted from the crowd like red, blue, and white flowers waving rhythmically in the breeze.
"Their Leader should be approaching soon." Bodies moved restlessly around me as our two hours of wait came to a culmination. A hush settled as a lustrous red car came into view up the road.
From my place on the green hill, I watched the car ride forward with its top removed. Two men in business suites and darkened glasses sat in the front seat while a middle-aged man grinned and waved at the lines of people from the backseat. A pretty young woman sat beside him with a polite and pleasant smile and a fashionable pink outfit; confidence radiated from her and her significantly important husband.
Our eyes collectively drifted to the highest window of run-down warehouse that stood across the street.
As the car crossed in front of us, a rifle barrel subtly peeked out from the window.
It tilted slightly and pivoted to the pace of the car.
The shots rang out.
Screams suddenly filled the air as people scrambled panic-stricken around the edges of the road. People in uniform rushed to the injured official inside the car and swarmed the sidewalk in earnest terror.
The boy shifted slightly toward me and spoke in a barely audible whisper, "Have you reached a decision?"
I stood still and focused intently on the distant bedlam.
He sighed and started down the grassy knoll.
"Mi Zakontcheni. Davaite uezzhat."
One by one, the bodies around me turned and followed.
I continued staring at the pretty woman in the car, who was crying uncontrollably as she gripped the body of her partner…
"Mika."
I turned and followed the others.
"Mika?"
I blinked my eyes and found myself staring at the incoming ground; Starfire lowered me slowly and I gracefully slipped off. My feet met the grass and I walked the landing, but my mind was still distracted.
No.
The citizens may have been happy placing their safety in the hands of the Titans, but I couldn't share their sense of comfort: my safety was my in my hands only; and it was long time that I follow another path.
A path away from the tower.
I sighed heavily and turned the far corner of tower toward the entrance...
...and barely saw a glob of red goo the size of a car tire slash past my face.
I flinched and threw myself up against the wall of the tower.
Before me, a war was taking place.
Robin dove through the air, Cyborg furiously launched assaults from his arm cannon, and Beast Boy madly cycled through various animals as he charged about.
And red slime was everywhere.
"Take that, tin can!"
"Don't think I didn't see that, Robin!"
"We'll you didn't see the one I gave a second ago."
"Yeah, 'cause I was too busy wailing on this nutbag!"
"NUTBAG? You wanna see a nutbag?"
The frantic volleys of goo flew even more erratically through the air as they threw the battle into overdrive.
I crept along the edges of the building until I reached the only place far enough that still allowed a visual contact on the group. Raven stood absolutely still where I arrived and did nothing to acknowledge my presence, but her shadow seemed to extend forward as I neared. I settled slowly nearby and watched the scene before us as Starfire neared the battling children and received a heavy goo blow to the face.
"My bad!"
The Tamaranian seemed to embrace the gesture...
"Please, allow me to return the favor!"
...to the extreme.
"They've been going at it for almost an hour and a half," she stated. "At this rate, we'll finish cleaning this place sometime after midnight."
I turned to Raven; she stood motionlessly beside me, and I watched her for only a moment before...
"Do you accept?"
The question.
My eyes left the stoic figure for only the moment, and watched the four other Titans wildly flinging their goo between fits of laughter and mocking jeers. The sun finished setting behind them and external lights of the tower flickered on automatically.
My gaze settled back to the dark figure beside me: I could already feel the empath reaching at me, the pinpricks tickled corners of my mind.
He cocked his head as he waited for the answer.
I couldn't do it.
Illogical.
Insane.
Dangerous.
"Yes."
The Titans continued laughing in the distance...
He leaned in discreetly and spoke in a whisper that was louder than all of the noise around me.
"You won't regret this."
I chose to believe the lie...
Raven caught my eye and barely displayed the signs of a nod.
"You made the right decision."
...I chose to believe it again.
—
The car had been turned off for a good ten minutes.
The dark-skinned man inside sat absolutely still; his hat, brown and faded, was reminiscent of an old detective film.
A violent jerk finally disrupted the stillness in the automobile; the man lifted his left hand up and raised the silver watch on his wrist to eye level. The second hand clicked twice then settled on the sixty-minute mark, completing the hour; the face read exactly three o'clock.
The man sighed heavily then reached for the car door handle. He gently pushed it open and stepped outside the car; the air was fresh and crisp, and stars shown brightly over the vacant lot as he walked slowly across under an overcoat. He reached a heavy wooden door and hesitated before turning the knob; his hand hovered above the brass handle as he mumbled quietly to himself.
Inhaling deeply, he clasped the doorknob and turned it.
The door slowly opened with a piercing squeak.
He stepped carefully in and closed the door forcefully behind him. The man turned forward and allowed his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room; it was barren, drafty, and lifeless.
He walked across the room and entered a second door. Closing the second behind him, the man squinted and stared down the long hallway that extended before him: single light bulbs dimly lit the hallway with several feet in between each interval.
He slowly followed the straight path, vaguely aware that it was on a slight decline. Several minutes later, he arrived to the end of the hallway and followed the two left successive left turns into a hallway that descended gradually more.
The man finally arrived after another set of minutes to a solid brass door; he reached forward and, in a familiar display, hesitated heavily.
He gripped the knob full force, opened it, and stepped into the light.
The floor was a finely polished, solid black marble; a low white light warmly illuminated the small room. The only object in the room was a desk that faced the entrance, and behind it, a young man sat busily at a computer.
The door closed.
He walked over to the desk.
"You're late," the young man at the computer stated without moving his eyes from his work.
The older man cleared his throat and began his response. "Well, there was a small matter and I had to—"
"They're waiting for you."
The man stood with the rest of the excuse still hanging in his mouth. He sighed and walked to the double doors that stood beside the desk; arriving, he reached out without the slightest delay, opened a door, and quickly stepped in.
The first thing he heard was absolute silence.
Not a single sound penetrated the air around him.
Slowly a faint glow grew before him and weak silhouettes of seated figures were barely outlined around a semicircular table raised high in front of him; nothing else in the room was remotely visible except the outline of an empty chair at the very center position of the table.
The man continued walking forward to the empty space in the middle of the room before the semicircle and stopped.
Silence continued as he waited for a response.
Finally, he ventured a thought.
He motioned in the dark towards the empty chair. "Where's—"
"Away on business," one of the men answered brusquely.
A dead silence conquered the room.
He tried again.
"Why exactly am—"
"You've been summoned under our request for a specific matter that concerns us," the same person answered coldly.
Another figure continued the instruction. "We've received word of your operation..."
"...and a certain explosion has come to our attention," finished a third.
"Along with," continued the second voice, "the fact that a certain name was exhibited publicly."
The man in the middle of the floor faltered visibly. "Exhibited? Are you talking about the explosion they set off? It was just a scare tactic, nobody even knows anything about the nam—"
"It was in broad daylight with a clear message."
The man fingered the hem of his sleeves in absolute silence.
"Defeat never arrives to Him with no name."
"It wasn't my fault," he responded quickly, "the two of them followed their plan without my—"
"It is your sector," the first figure interrupted while standing with shadowed wrath. "You were directly responsible for its success and failure."
The man clenched his hands and attempted to keep himself straight, despite the cold tension that suddenly gripped the room. He lowered his face and fumbled for an answer. "I-I will correct the matter immediately. They will be punished."
"Yes... they will..."
He unfurled his fist and loosened his jaw; his head slowly rose and the warmth returned to his face.
A light whistle slipped from the semicircle, like a faint call to a canine. The man's knees buckled beneath him, and he collapsed onto the floor.
A thin red stream leaked from the hole in his forehead to the black marble floor below it.
Light smoke trailed from the hand of the first man.
"Was that really necessary?" the third voice asked with slight irritation.
"Absolutely," he answered. "Failure is not tolerated."
The second figure nodded. "We needed someone better there in any case."
The shadows in the room grew longer, wider, darker.
Silence.
Click.