WARNINGS: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.

ENJOY!

xxxx

"Okay, so he honestly looked at you and went 'with a baby'?" Jen asked me, laughing a little as we sat at her island counter in her kitchen. "Wow."

I swallowed. "At least he didn't just like…leave me. I mean when I looked at him like he was retarded, he nodded and he hugged me and he kissed the top of my head and I just…I think he's still digesting, so we're not really talking about it."

"But the doctor…she said you were?" Jen asked me, referring to the hospital visit that morning.

"Yeah…she said I'm definitely pregnant and we're thinking the conception date was the awkward sex talk." I told her, laughing a little. "About 6 weeks ago, Dean and I made a baby—a baby Jen."

Jen laughed. "You mean as opposed to what?"

"At least he loved me then." I mused, and then I blushed when Jen's eyes widened.

Dean and I hadn't actually come out and talked about how we felt about each other to anyone else and now I'd blurted it out. So with practically no prodding at all I explained everything to her and she told me she was happy for me, but worried at the same time and I certainly couldn't blame her for that. I knew that there was so much more to Dean than his reputation as a womanizer, but at the same time I understood completely that his fear could potentially push us farther apart.

Right when I was trying to explain to her that I was pretty sure Dean and I could get through this as long as we stuck together, my phone rang so I took it out of my jacket pocket. It was a restricted number so I just let it go to voicemail—if they didn't leave a message than it wasn't important anyway. The thing was though, they did leave a message so I checked my voicemail after it signaled me that I had a message and I was shocked to say the least.

"Lana, I know this is probably surprising that I'm calling you, but I think the two of us should talk about some things. I know you, and I knew your biological mother, and I know Annie. I haven't told Sam or Dean because my sons have far too much on their plates already but I wanted to let you know that I've seen them too. Right now I'm focused on my own case, but I have information for you as well. Call me back at 985-562-4527." John explained.

I stared at the phone and swallowed as I saved the message. "John called."

"Whoa! Really? You should call him back then." Jen told me, suddenly alert. "I mean if he is the way for you to avenge what happened to Marcus and Bethany than you need to do just that."

"I know, I just…I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed. I mean all of this is happening right now, and it's happening really fast." I told her and bit my lip. "I'll call him back later when my stomach doesn't feel so queasy."

Jen smiled sympathetically. "Morning sickness?"

"No…nervousness." I replied.

Jen nodded at me and took my hand in hers, then after a little more catching up and hanging out with Kevin when he got back, I headed back to my house to the boys packing. Sam explained that John had called them and given them the means for a hunt and I smiled and nodded, packing and looking up when Dean came into my room and opened up my underwear drawer to help me pack.

I chuckled a little. "What's with the helping me pack the unmentionables?"

"I dunno about 'unmentionable'—I like these." Dean replied, holding up one of my pairs of Marvel Super Hero boxers. "Let me guess: your favorite is Wolverine?"

"Oh God, no! I'm totally into Wade Wilson…Deadpool." I added when he looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Isn't he the guy with the scar? The mercenary?"

"Just the one. He's 'The Merc with the Mouth'. He's cheeky, he's horny, he's hot, he plays with swords, he doesn't take crap from anyone, he's—"

"—me?" Dean asked with a chuckle, tossing me the boxers.

I caught them and put them in my duffle and smiled. "Yeah…I guess you could look at it like that. Except of course that you don't play with swords and I think you're a genuinely good person whereas Wade? Not so much."

"Knives are close enough." Dean said with a shrug and then he came over to me and took a deep breath, resting his hands on my shoulders and turning me to look at him. "How are you, Lanni?"

I smiled a little at his attempt to let me know that he cared and that he wasn't pushing me away even though I knew he was scared. We were both really scared about how we were going to be parents and it was really nice to know Dean wasn't just burying the problem or walking away and so I just smiled a little and shrugged. When he started to stroke my hair with one of his hands I smiled a little more and took a step towards him, resting my hands on his open button-up and looked at his t-shirt.

"I told my Dad." Dean told me in the silence.

I looked up at him and our eyes met. "Yeah? How did he take it? What did he say? Does he hate me?"

"Lanni? That mouth of yours, as adorable as it is, needs to close sometimes." Dean laughed and I smiled a little and nodded. "He told me to be careful, and to make sure that I let you know that I'm not going anywhere."

"Seriously?" I asked him softly.

Dean nodded and I realized that he was confused as to the tone in my voice but I couldn't be anything but confused. If John actually knew things about me and my biological mother than why in the world would he want Dean to stay near me? To procreate with me? Then again the procreating part had come as a surprise to both of us and it wasn't like we could take it back now that it was done…so maybe John just wanted Dean to do the right thing and take responsibility…

"What is it?" Dean asked me.

I just shook my head to wave it off but Dean placed his fingers under my chin and raised my eyes up to his and they practically bored into me. He seemed so serious, and so in need of an actual answer and I didn't have anything for him—I couldn't talk about my mother, or my father or Annie…there was still too much I couldn't face, so why tell Dean about it? It probably wasn't a good decision, but I was sticking to it whether it was or not.

"I think we should go ahead and focus on this hunt your father is sending us on." I told him, kissing him before he could protest. "Besides, sitting around here all comfy and cozy is getting boring."

Dean smiled at my joke. "Oh yeah? Hey…Lanni?"

"No, Dean—I'm not staying behind." I told him, turning back to my duffle and zipping it up. "I'm pregnant, not useless."

"Lanni, the job we do is dangerous." Dean said. "And no, I'm not saying this so I can ditch you and not own up to this."

I sighed as he rested his hand gingerly on my stomach. "I wasn't going to say that."

"Consider it at least?" Dean asked me, leaning towards me and looking me in the eye, sighing as I shook my head. "Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

"I was born that way." I replied with a shrug and headed out to the car with him and Sam.

The three of us piled into the Impala even though Sam brought up that maybe I should stay behind too, and when I got upset about it the two relented and we got out onto the road. At one point I had them pull over so I could buy some things from a gas station, and while Dean filled up the car, I answered my cell phone as it rang.

"Hi." I said slowly, smiling a little bit.

"Hi, Lana." John told me softly. "I hope I've caught you at a good moment."

I smiled and picked out a bag of chips. "I'm doing great, actually. What's up?"

"Look, I didn't want to do this—especially now that I know you're pregnant—but I'm close on the trail of the woman that killed your parents. Her name is Nora, and I think she may be headed to Georgia. I'm going to keep you posted. I just wanted you to know, all right?"

"Thank you for that. Do you mind if I ask you how you know me? How you know my mother and Annie? Why you wanna help me?" I asked him, hoping I wasn't stepping on any toes asking him my questions.

John chuckled a little. "I owe your mother—that's something that I can explain to you when I see you next. For now, just know that I have your best interests at heart, regardless of the kind of heritage you have."

"I guess I can take that for what it is, so thank you, John." I told him. "I'll talk to you when you have more information about Nora for me."

"Bye for now, Lana." John said.

I nodded and we said our 'goodbyes', me heading back out to the car and getting into the backseat with my food and my Vitamin Water, wishing I had a coffee. I had a rather large smile on my face and Sam was looking over what John had given to them, and it was looking like it would be a good hunt. I knew I had to be careful since I was pregnant, but I really still wanted to help Sam and Dean out as much as I could.

"You know, I love your Dad." I told them.

Sam laughed a little and made a face. "That's good to know."

"So this place is called Fitchburg?" I asked them, changing the subject.

Dean nodded, but so far Sam wasn't convinced that any of the information we had was leading us to an actual hunt. He didn't find anything strange about Fitchburg, be it in local newspapers or in police records, and soon I had to agree with him…except I felt like we had to do this. John didn't seem like the kind of hunter that would send us on a hunt that wasn't a real hunt.

"Are you sure you got the coordinates right?" Sam asked Dean.

"Yeah, I double-checked: it's Fitchburg, Wisconsin. Dad wouldn't send us coordinates if it wasn't important, Sammy." Dean said curtly.

Sam sighed. "Well, I'm telling you. I looked and all I could find is a big steamy pile of nothing. If Dad is sending us hunting for something, I don't know what."

"Because it's hidden." I piped up as we drove.

"Why do you say that?" Sam asked me, looking back at me for a moment.

I opened up my laptop and shrugged. "Because it always is."

"Or maybe he's gonna meet us there." Dean offered hopefully.

"Yeah, 'cause he's been so easy to find up to this point." Sam told him sarcastically.

Dean made a face. "You're a real smart-ass, you know that? Don't worry I'm sure there's something in Fitchburg worth killing."

"Or at least worth finding." I laughed.

I knew by now that it was never a good idea to joke around while the boys were sort of arguing, but I was in a pretty good mood—John was going to help me to avenge the death of my adopted parents. There really wasn't anything that could get me down right then—not even any of my slightly negative, conflicting feelings about what was going on around us. Something was here, I just wasn't sure exactly what that was yet, and I wasn't sure I could fix it…

"Yeah? What makes you so sure?" Sam asked us.

"Because I'm the oldest, which means I'm always right." Dean told him and shrugged. "Besides—if Lanni thinks something is here, we should trust her instincts."

Sam rolled his eyes. "You being older doesn't mean you're always right—Lan's instincts, however, I am willing to put faith in."

"Good thing you guys have a girl on your side, because otherwise we'd be totally lost." I smiled at the two of them as they laughed.

Then we pretty much went silent as I sent out some e-mails and such, and then once we got into Fitchburg, we parked by a school yard and Sam leaned against the car and observed. When Dean came over to join Sam and me, he told us that nobody had heard anything weird and that kind of bothered me as I looked around the playground…it was far too quiet.

"What time is it?" Sam asked.

I checked my watch. "It's 4:10. It's too quiet for the time kids should be getting out of school. Let me tell you, I was a loud one."

"You're loud now." Dean told me, but he smiled and so did I, and then pointed out how quiet it was to a little girls' mother who mentioned that kids were getting sick.

For a second I just chorused with Sam that it was a shame, but then a shiver went up my spine and I felt the blood rush away from my face. This was no coincidence, and I knew that I couldn't be there no matter what. There was pretty much no way on God's green Earth that I could sit around while kids were taken one by one…sit around while my past suddenly caught up to me.

"Lanni?" Dean asked me.

I shook my head slowly and took a few steps back. "I can't do this. I'm sorry."

I hurried back off to the Impala and got in the backseat, packing up some things and shaking my head as I muttered to myself. When I got my things together, I pulled them out of the backseat, Sam and Dean showing up to tell me we had to go to the hospital and they were both worried about me.

"Are you all right?" Dean asked me, and frowned when I took a step back from him. "Lanni, what is going on with you?"

I bit my lip as the tears formed in my eyes. "I can't stay in this town."

"Lan, we need more than that." Sam told me softly. "Can you tell us more than that?"

"Look, can I just go to the motel and research a little more?" I asked them softly. "Please?"

Sam and Dean nodded, and the two of them took me to the motel before they headed to the hospital and I called Jen on her cell phone, desperately needing her assistance with this. She answered after a few rings and I didn't even let her get through her greeting or get in a joke before I was already talking and trying to calm down and breathe.

"I can't be here anymore, Jenny!" I exclaimed, sitting down, taking deep breaths.

"Lan? What the Hell is wrong?" She asked me, trying really hard to get me to calm down. "You sound like you're hyperventilating! Breathe!"

I shook my head as I took a breath. "I got her killed and now it's back, Jen! I think the Shtriga is here and I can't do this! I can't!"

"The Shritga? Really?" Jen asked me calmly. "Lan…I think you need to face this."

"How can I face this, Jenny? I got my little sister killed! This is the one that got away from me and I know that part of me wants revenge against it, but I'm not strong enough! I'm not!" I told her, the tears coming out. "I'm the reason my baby sister is gone…"

Jen tried to calm me down for the next ten minutes or so and I took a few deep breaths and then I got a call from Dean who told me that the kids' bodies were all wearing out and that each time one kid got sick, it was the next siblings' turn the next night. It was the Shtriga's pattern, and though they didn't know what we were dealing with, I was pretty damn sure I did. So I told them I'd meet them at the latest victim's house, and when I got in there I was a little jumpy but I tried to assure the boys that I was fine as I looked around the room.

"You know this might not be anything supernatural, it might just be pneumonia." Sam told Dean and me as I slowly made it over to the window.

Dean shrugged at him. "Maybe…or maybe something opened that window. I don't know, man. Look, Dad sent us down here for a reason. I think we might be barking up the right tree."

"Open the window." I said, rubbing my arms because I suddenly felt cold.

Sam did so, and nodded. "Hey Dean, you were right, it's not pneumonia."

Dean went over to the window too, but I backed up in the room a little—I knew exactly what we were dealing with, and it wasn't good. This thing fed on the innocence of children and because of my weakness so many years ago, I was now an only child and I had to live with Annie's death every day.

"It's rotted." Sam said. "What the hell leaves a handprint like that?"

"A Shtriga." I told them slowly. "It's a child killer—or almost. I just—can we leave please? I really can't be in here."

"Is there something—" Sam began.

I shook my head at him as I backed up towards the door of the room. "I'll explain when we're out of here. Please. Let's just go."

I got out of the room and went to the Impala, placing my hands on the hood and taking breaths to stop the tears, but I couldn't. Because I hadn't been strong enough to defeat this monster in the past, there were more little kids being killed off and I was responsible for it. It was my job to clean up this mess but how was I supposed to do that? I didn't have the strength to face this monster…I didn't have it in me.

"I know why Dad sent us here." Dean told Sam. "He's faced this thing before. He wants us to finish the job."

I wiped tears away and shook my head, not letting either of them touch me. "I never wanted to see that Shtriga again. I got away from it once, but that—oh God, this is all my fault."

"This isn't your fault, Lanni." Dean told me firmly, and something in his voice made me think that he was feeling guilty too. "So…you've seen it?"

I nodded. "It's not something you forget—that kind of thing scars you. It's what got me asking my mother about the supernatural—started me off wanting to hunt the bad things so no one else would have to deal with them."

"So, what the Hell is a Shtriga?" Sam asked as we got out of the car and went into the motel.

"It's kind of a witch, I think. I don't know much about them." Dean said with a shrug.

Sam nodded slowly. "Well, I've never heard of it, and it's not in Dad's journal."

"But it's very real." I explained and shrugged. "It's very real, and it's definitely here."

"Dad hunted one in Fort Douglas, Wisconsin, about 16 or 17 years ago. You were there,

you don't remember?" Dean asked Sam.

"No." Sam replied, looking at both of us.

Dean nodded slowly. "And I guess he caught wind one of these thing's in Fitchburg now and kicked us the coordinates."

"So wait, this…" Sam began.

"Shtriga." Dean finished.

Sam nodded at him. "You think it's the same one Dad hunted before?"

"Huh, maybe." Dean said.

"But if Dad went after it, why is it still breathing air?" Sam asked again. "I mean no offense, Lan, but my Dad takes out everything."

Dean shrugged at him. "Cause it got away."

"Got away?" Sam asked unbelievingly.

"Yeah Sammy, it happens." Dean said impatiently.

"Not very often." Sam told him.

Dean got a little angry and it was obvious then that this was personal with him—almost just as personal with him as it was with me. I wasn't sure what his back story with it was, but I was pretty certain that I was going to have to explain about Annie now. They weren't going to let me off the hook with this and I wouldn't let them.

"Oh I don't know what to tell you, maybe Dad didn't have his Wheaties that morning." Dean said angrily.

"What else do you remember?" Sam asked.

"Nothing, I was a kid, alright?" Dean said, wanting to change the subject.

Sam just nodded and then we all went back to the motel, going past Joanna and her son, Michael, going to our room. I paced a little and got upset when Dean came towards me again and his own anger mixed with mine was making Sam uncomfortable. We were about to fight and he didn't want to be here for it, but he had to research, and he knew there was always a chance he'd have to be the mediator, so he stayed put as he opened up his laptop.

"Will you let me try to be comforting, please?" Dean asked me, his voice raised a little.

I turned to look at him. "If you touch me, I'm going to lose it, so no!"

"You can't blame yourself for this!" Dean told me.

"Don't tell me what to do!" I snapped at him. "This Albanian witch is going to feed off of the life force of children until it has its fill and it's because apparently not only did I let it get away, but your Dad did too!"

Dean's eyes flashed. "Don't talk about my father with that tone!"

"If you tell me what to do one more time!" I yelled back, getting into his face.

"Guys!" Sam exclaimed.

Dean and I looked at each other for another moment before turning to Sam and Sam nodded slowly and then pointed at his laptop. He'd found something, and by the look on his face he wasn't happy about it, which meant that the two of us weren't going to be happy about it either. This Shtriga was causing more problems than I was hoping she would be and I wanted badly not to have to deal with this all at once.

"Lan is right—this Shtriga is an Albanian witch that prefers to feed on the life force of children because their life forces are stronger. Also, 'Shtrigas are invulnerable to all weapons devised by God and men'." Sam read to us.

"Great." I muttered.

Dean shook his head. "No, that's not right. She's vulnerable when she feeds."

"What?" Sam asked him, looking up at him as I looked back at him.

"If you catch her when she's eating, you can blast her with consecrated wrought irons, buckshots or rounds I think." Dean explained.

I tried to get him to look me in the eye. "How do you know that?"

"Dad told me, I remember." He answered heading over to search something in a notebook.

Sam nodded angrily. "Oh! So anything else Dad might have mentioned?"

"No, that's it…what?" He asked seeing Sam and me staring at him.

"Nothing." Sam said, looking back at the computer screen.

I crossed my arms over my chest at the animosity in the room. "We need to find her before we deal with anything else."

"Well that won't be a cakewalk. Shtrigas take on human forms when they're not feeding." Sam explained.

"Then we have to figure out what disguise." I told them. "Most likely an old woman."

"Really?" Dean asked.

Sam nods. "She's right."

"Dead center of the houses that have been attacked was the hospital. When we were there, I saw a patient, an old woman..." Dean said.

He trailed off as Sam got a goofy look on his face and I took a seat on Sam's bed, not wanting to sit next to Dean right that moment. The three of us were trying really hard to just focus on the hunt, but there were a lot of things that the three of us had to get over and that meant coming clean. It meant 'sharing and caring' and it was pretty common knowledge that Dean didn't do that sort of thing if he could help it.

"An old person, huh?" Sam asked Dean.

"Yeah." Dean replied.

Sam smiled at him. "In the hospital? Wow, better call the coast guards."

"Oh, listen smart-ass," Dean answered, "she had an inverted cross hanging on her wall."

"You two should go check it out, but I'm not going." I told them firmly, resting my hands on the end of the bed.

Sam and Dean turned to me and they both made different faces at me that I didn't like. I knew I was being childish because this thing was killing children, but I was not going to be a liability to them when I knew when it came down to it, I was going to paralyzed again by fear.

"Why not?" Sam asked me with care in his voice. "I thought you were safer with us."

I looked up at him. "I just—please don't make me."

"Why don't you just tell us what's up with you?" Dean asked me.

"Why don't you go check up on the woman with the inverted cross?" I asked him.

He gave me a look and I gave him one back, which made him angrily grab his coat and head directly out of the door. Sam sighed and I shook my head at him when he opened his mouth to speak and headed out too. They went to the hospital and didn't really find anything, coming back in silence and getting ready to sleep on it and go back to work first thing in the morning. I changed into my sleep wear as well and then climbed into the bed with Dean, his back to me in a huff.

"Don't." Dean said firmly when I rested my hand on his side.

I took a breath because I knew I deserved it. "Look…I wasn't always an only child, all right?"

I took my hand away from him and turned to lay on my back, resting the back of my hand on my forehead and looking up at the ceiling. The weight shifted as the tears came to my eyes and Dean propped his head up on his hand, reaching his arm over me and resting it on the other side of me, pulling my body closer to his, which just made the tears come. The whole reason I hadn't wanted him to touch me or to comfort me was because I knew I would lose it, and now I was crying and even Sam was alert to what was going on as Dean held me even closer and ran his nose along my hairline, kissing my temple softly.

"Is that what this is about?" Dean asked me.

I nodded slowly, still looking up at the ceiling. "I got my little sister killed, Dean. I looked that Shtriga in the eye and I couldn't kill it and Annie suffered."

"Lanni, we're going to kill this son of a bitch." Dean told me.

"I know, I just…I can't do this." I said softly and turned to face him, snuggling into him and kissing his neck softly. "I want to help but I don't think I have the strength in me. Just thinking about the Shtriga makes me practically hyperventilate."

Dean kissed me. "I am going to right this, Lanni."

I nodded and kissed him, holding onto him and then groaning softly when he bit my bottom lip and then slipped his tongue into my mouth.

"Dean, that's not fair." I whispered, trying to catch my breath. "You've gotten me all horny now and we can't because Sam is right there."

Sam sighed. "And still sadly awake."

"Sorry, Sammy. We'll sleep, I promise." I told him, and snuggled into Dean as he stroked my hair and held me close to him protectively.

Something had changed between us and as far as I was concerned, it was for the better, and I hugged him close, falling asleep feeling protected. Then when we woke up, we found out that Michael's little brother had been attacked by the Shtriga, and Sam and I offered to babysit him while Dean took his mother to the hospital. I was really upset that I hadn't been able to feel the Shtriga's presence the night before, but I was stressed…and now one more kid had paid for my mistakes.

"You want to go to the playground?" I asked him softly.

Michael shrugged. "Nah."

"How about I read you a story? I know that when I was younger, my little sister liked me to read to her. It could help take your mind off things." I offered, smiling at him fondly.

"All right." Michael answered with a nod.

I smiled and grabbed my Hans Christian Anderson book from my duffle, reading a few stories out loud to him until Sam decided to head to the library. When he was off researching, Michael and I played some board games and I realized that someday this was going to be me—someday I was going to have my own child to read to and play with and I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to have all of this extra responsibility…was I?

"There's my baby." Joanna said when she and Dean got back. "Thank you so much for watching him."

I smiled and rustled Michael's hair. "It was my pleasure. How is Asher?"

"He's…I'm sure he's going to be all right." Joanna replied.

I smiled at her and nodded, following Dean back to the motel, Sam meeting up with us. Dean told us that the doctor was the Shtriga, and that we really needed to finish this up because he was getting really upset about it all.

"I'm surprised you didn't take him out." I said, hugging my knees to me as I sat on mine and Dean's bed.

Dean shrugged a little. "Yeah, well number one, I wasn't going to just open fire on him in a pediatric ward."

"Good thinking." Sam told him.

"Number two, the bastard's bullet proof unless he's chowing down on something. And number three, I wasn't packing. Which is probably good because I would have burned a clip in him just for the principle of the thing." Dean answered.

Sam smiled at his brother. "You're getting wise in your old age, Dean."

"Damn right." Dean said and Sam nodded.

I sat up and frowned a little. "He'll come back for Michael."

"Then we have to move him." Sam said, nodding slowly.

Dean shook his head. "We should use him for bait."

"Are you nuts?" Sam asked him. "No, forget it, that's out of the question."

"It's not out of the question, Sam. It's the only way. If this thing disappears, it could be years before we get another chance." Dean explained.

Sam shook his head in protest. "Michael's a kid. And I'm not gonna dangle him in front of that thing like a worm on a hook."

"I have to side with Sam here. It's wrong to make any kid endure that." I told him.

"Dad did not send me here to walk away." Dean said.

"Send you here? He didn't send you here, he sent us here." Sam corrected him.

That seemed to touch a nerve with Dean and I stood up, sighing a little and looked at him as Sam looked at him too. We really wanted him to come clean, especially since he had said he was going to finish this and now he was starting to get antsy which was never good with Dean. Dean Winchester trigger happy could really only go one of two ways and this hunt had to do with kids so nothing could go wrong.

"This isn't about you Sam, alright? I'm the one that screwed up. It's my fault, there's no telling how many kids have gotten hurt because of me." Dean said and then he looked at me. "This isn't your fault, Lanni."

I was thoroughly confused. "What?"

"What are you saying, Dean? How is it your fault? Dean, you've been hiding something from the get-go. Since when does Dad bail on a hunt? Since when does he let something get away? Now talk to me, man. Tell me what's going on." Sam told him. "I mean we at least know now that Lan faced it."

"Fort Douglas, Wisconsin. It was the 3rd night in this crap-room and I was climbing the walls, man. I needed to get some air." Dean began with a sigh.

Then he began to tell us about how John had left him with Sam and had given him explicit instructions to stay with Sam—stay in the room with him while he was sleeping. However, he wanted to go play a video game, so he left, and came back to the Shtriga trying to get Sam, so he picked up the gun, and the witch reacted to the metallic click but Dean didn't shoot right away—he hesitated. Then John entered the room, told Dean to move away and he fired a full round of bullets at the Shtriga who escaped through the window. Then he took Sam in his arms and made sure he was all right before scolding Dean for leaving when he was told not to.

"Dad just grabbed us and booked. Dropped us off at Pastor Jim's, about 3 hours away. By the time he got back to Fort Douglas, the Shtriga had disappeared. It was just gone—it never resurfaced until now. Dad never spoke about it again… I didn't ask but he…he looked at me different, you know, which is worse. Not that I blame him. He gave me an order and I didn't listen, and I almost got you killed." Dean said regretfully.

Sam looked at his brother lovingly. "You were just a kid."

"You can't take the blame for that." I whispered, smiling a little because Dean had told me the exact same thing and I had gotten upset about it when in all reality, sometimes monsters got away…sometimes we couldn't get the job done—we were only human.

"Don't. Don't. Dad knew this was unfinished business for me. He sent me here to finish it." Dean explained.

I nodded slowly. "I get how you can blame yourself—you disobeyed a direct order. At least Sam is around, Dean. When I first came in contact with the Shtriga, it took my sister—it killed her. I came into her room and read her a bedtime story, and as always, laid there on her bed with her until she fell asleep. The window opened, and then in came that terrible monster and it knelt by my sister—ignored me—just wanted her. Growing up in the environment that I did—but not being allowed to touch the guns—I knew to go to my mother, so I did and told her Annie was in trouble, and when she came up to see it was too late—I panicked. I just sat there. I didn't scream or anything. It even took me a moment or two to move. Then it was my turn the next night. I didn't scream when it came in my window. I just looked at it. It was a good thing my mother came in and tried to get it—but it escaped—then it either went to you, or it went into hiding. Either way, it's not just your fault. At least you pointed a gun at it—I just stood there like a dumb little girl." I recounted, in tears. "You know how tough I am now? I have to make up for it because deep down I'm a coward. Part of me wanted to die that night it came back—I don't deserve to be here when Annie paid for my mistakes."

Sam and Dean came and sat on the bed with me and I smiled a little but wiped my tears away and leaned my head on Dean as he kissed the top of my head. Sam ran his fingers through my hair and then grasped my left hand and I nodded and then shook my head and stood up, straightening myself out. No…I was not going to be that cowardly little girl any longer—I was going to help to kill this Shtriga for once and for all and that was all there was to it.

"It's really not your fault." Sam said. "Either of you."

I smiled at him softly as I stood there looking at them. "Look Sam, I know you mean well, but who else can we blame. It's our responsibility—and my sister's gone because I stood there. She was my little sister, Sam, and she's gone. I can't bring her back, and it was my fault I didn't scream and interrupt her. I've never been the same since then. All of this talking about it, is really just making me realize that I have to kill it. I don't want to use Michael, but if that's our only hope…we have to take the chance."

"No—I still don't like using Michael as bait. How about me?" Sam asked me.

"That won't work. We need a pure source—a child. Believe me, I don't like it, but it's gotta be the kid." Dean told us firmly.

I nodded and took a breath to stop the tear. "Then it's what we have to do."

It was really eating away at me that we were going to have to use an innocent child as bait to such a terrible monster, and I rested my hand on my stomach as we went to talk Michael into helping us out. I was going to be a mother in nine months, and I was actually willing to possibly sacrifice a child? What was wrong with me? Something inside of me was definitely telling me right then that I was definitely not supposed to procreate. Deep down I'd always wanted to be a mother, but in my chosen profession, it just wasn't in the cards and it shouldn't have been.

"I'll be back." I said suddenly, going back to the motel room to possibly throw up, coming back out a few minutes later and running into Sam and Dena in the hall. "What happened?"

Dean sighed. "He won't do it."

"Give me a minute." I told them and I went outside and found Michael. "Hey. Sorry we bombarded you earlier."

"I'm still taking it all in." Michael shrugged a little.

I nodded. "It's a big thing to take in. Look, this is going to sound terrible, but I lost my sister to this thing, and I can't—I just want you to know that you helping us could really help us to save all the other kids that could be affected by this in the future. I don't want to make you do this—in fact I would give anything not to let you do this—and if you don't want to, we won't make you—we'll find another way. This is just the best plan we can think of right now."

I ruffled his hair as Michael nodded, telling me that he would think about it and I smiled and headed back to the motel room. I stood outside the motel room door and rested my hand on my stomach again, shaking my head and wishing I wasn't such a terrible person before I headed inside. So I went in and told Sam and Dean that he was thinking about it, closing my eyes and nodding as a knock on the door sounded and Dean opened it up to Michael standing there.

"If you kill it, will Asher get better?" Michael asked him, me turning around to smile sadly at him.

Dean took a deep breath. "Honestly, we don't know."

"You said you're a big brother?" Michael asked.

"Yeah." Dean replied with a nod.

Michael nodded too. "You take care of your little brother? You'd do anything for him?"

"Yeah, I would." Dean told him, smiling a little at the young boy assessing him.

"Me too." Michael admitted and then he nodded. "I'll do it."

I couldn't help but speak up. "You sure you want to do this?"

Michael nodded, and then Dean looked at Sam and I, and we nodded in agreement. We began by installing a camera in Michael's bedroom and then Michael asked what he was supposed to do. I was second-guessing the plan but I kept my mouth shut about that and just smiled at Michael and tried to be my charming, convincing self.

"Just stay under the covers." I told him. "Just act like you're sleeping."

Dean nodded at him. "We'll be in the other room with the guns, and when we come in after the Shtriga shows up, you need to hide under your bed, okay?"

"You sure you won't shoot me?" Michael asked.

I smiled and sat on the bed, stroking his hair. "I promise you, they're terrific shots. They won't fire until it's clear."

"Oh, and another thing: gun shots are much louder than in the movies so you'll have to cover your ears and not come out from under your bed until we say so." Dean told him. "Michael, you're sure you wanna do this? You don't have to, it's okay. I won't be mad. Lana is always convincing, so I want to make sure."

"No, I'm okay. Just don't shoot me." Michael said strongly.

Dean smiled at his strength. "We're not gonna let anything happen to you. I promise."

"Remember, we'll be right over there." I told Michael softly. "You want me to stay or anything? Because I can stay with you if you need it."

Michael shook his head. "I'm okay."

I nodded and hugged him. "You're a brave kid."

We watched from the next room and by the time it was 3 a.m. still nothing had come through the window. It was starting to feel like nothing was going to happen and I wanted to go in and check on Michael, but I also didn't want to ruin this if the Shtriga really was going to show. I couldn't let this Shtriga get out of this town—I couldn't let it live.

"Are you sure iron rounds are going to work?" Sam asked Dean and me.

I shrugged a little. "Maybe."

"Hey Dean, I'm sorry." Sam said suddenly.

"For what?" Dean asked him.

Sam sighed a little bit. "You know, I've really given you a lot of crap for always following Dad's orders. But I know why you do it."

"Oh God, kill me now." Dean replied with a sigh.

"How about don't do it, God: we need him for this." I told the ceiling.

Suddenly, the hand of the Shtriga appeared on the screen of the camera we had placed in Michael's room. Michael watched her open the window and then Sam and Dean got ready, but Dean made me stay put until the Shtriga was above Michael when I made a sudden move to go and save him. Michael took refuge under his bed, and then the three of us went in and started to fire, the Shtriga falling on the floor.

Dean went up to see if the Shtriga was dead, but she got up and sent Dean flying up against a wall. Then she disarmed me and smiled, backhanding me in the face and sending me across the room with one throw. Next she disarmed Sam and began to suck away his life force, Dean caught her attention as I got up, and then shot her in the head. This time, since the Shtriga was actually feeding, the bullet killed it and suddenly I felt a huge wave of relief sweep over me.

"You okay little brother?" Dean asked Sam, at his side as I went for Michael.

Sam just nodded as Dean shot the rest of his bullets into the already disintegrating Shtriga and then I couldn't help but shoot a few into it as well, before tossing Dean the gun and getting on my hands and knees. Poor Michael was probably completely scarred now, and I smiled at him as his eyes and mine made contact and he seemed scared, and yet incredibly brave.

"You can come out now, Michael." I told him.

Michael came out from underneath his bed, and I took his hand. "Is it over?"

"Yeah. It's over." I nodded to him. "It's safe now."

"Thank you." Michael said, hugging me.

I hugged him back and then tucked him in, having Dean make sure the window was shut and locked, and then we went back to our motel room and went to sleep, getting up the next morning and packing completely. We were putting our things in the trunk when Joanna, came over to us with the good news about Asher and the other kids being saved. As we were leaving, I waved to Michael who smiled at me and waved back, and I felt like I was going to miss him—I was proud of him.

"It's too bad." Sam said softly.

Dean shook his head. "No, they'll be fine."

"It's not what I meant. I meant, Michael. He will always know that there are things out there in the dark. He'll never be the same, you know? Sometimes I wish that…" Sam began, but then he trailed off.

"What?" Dean asked.

Sam looked at him as we drove. "I wish that I could have that kind of innocence."

"I know what you mean." I said with a nod.

Dean nodded as well. "If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could, too."

"I wish we all could have been more innocent longer." I said and then I rested my hand on my stomach and I took a deep breath as Dean looked at me in the rear view mirror.

"Is Annie the reason why you turned to everything you turned to?" Dean asked me. "Is she that pivotal moment that turned you into a hunter?"

I nodded slowly and looked up. "After she died, I knew that it was up to me to save everyone I could from that fate—I—I'm surprised I didn't freeze that last time. That thing had me so messed up and now it's gone."

"You have us Lanni." Dean said softly.

Sam nodded and turned around a little to look at me. "We'll always have your back."

I smiled at them because it meant quite a lot to me to have their support, and at the same time I was feeling pretty bad about everything that was going on. For some reason I was freaking out, and I needed to voice it because that was how I was. All of this was happening so fast and I didn't think I could handle it—I didn't think I could do it.

"I am going to be a terrible mother." I said suddenly and Sam and Dean both glanced at me. "I am going to be a terrible mother."

Note: There is some of Lana's past. Now some dark stuff is ahead as is some really sad stuff, so be prepared. Feedback is always appreciated!