Hey guys.

Here I am with Chapter 14 finally. It's a little emotional, but...well just grab your tissues.

Also a note, I realized that I made a mistake. In Chapter 11 I think, the story went that Elliot's mother and father in law were not a fan of his, whereas in Chapter 8, the story went that his mother and father in law were coming to help with Eli. That was a mistake; Chapter 8 was meant to indicate that Kathy's sister and brother in law were coming into town to help with Eli. I fixed that mistake in Chapter 8 so now everything makes sense and such.

Anyway...enjoy xoxo

Keeping Promises

Part 14

It had probably taken twice as long to get into Manhattan as there were a lot of people on the road and the weather wasn't the most ideal, but Elliot didn't even care as his focus was Olivia.

Once he reached her apartment complex, his car's gold shield – and the fact that the parking attendant knew who he was as he had been here quite often anyway – gained him access to the parking deck. He circled around a few times yet was confused when he didn't see Olivia's car in its normal spot or any of the other spots. He parked in her spot instead and took a moment, before whipping out his phone.

There were two other people she would go to besides him, and one of those people was currently on a flight to North Carolina with his son to visit some relatives. He scrolled through his contacts to find the other person, and just as he was about to press the 'Call' button, the name lit up on his phone as an incoming call;

'Incoming Call: Casey'

He quickly answered; "Casey!"

"Elliot…hey."

She was a hundred percent sure Olivia would kill her if she knew that she was calling Elliot, but Olivia was their best friend and she was quite concerned.

Following their chat, Olivia had ultimately cried herself to sleep and so Casey tucked her in on the sofa, before quietly tidying away the wine glasses then making her way to her bedroom. She had contemplated for a while before deciding to give Elliot a call. She finally sat herself down on her bed and scrolled through her phone, before then pressing send and giving him a call.

The panic in his voice when he picked up was something that warmed her; he was always so worried about Olivia.

"Case, I was just about to call you – is Liv with you?"

"She's with me; she's sleeping on my sofa at the moment," Casey calmly explained, sighing slightly; "Relax, Elliot; she's fine, she just came over because…well, you know how she gets after she visits her mother's grave."

"I know, it's just…she said she might spend the holidays with us, so I was just concerned," he paused for a second, "Casey, is she okay – really? Don't bullshit me."

'Damn him and his detective skills.' Casey thought to herself before answering; "Honestly Elliot, no…it's not my place to tell, but I think she needs to talk to you – hell, I think she wants to talk to you, but she's afraid to do so."

"I've never given her a reason to be scared to talk to me."

"I know you haven't, but…" she paused for a second and thought about what to say next, then she had an idea; "You know Olivia; she takes everything to heart, even things she can't control…she just needs to talk to you."

"I'm coming over."

"No," Casey immediately stopped him; "No…let her rest tonight, Elliot; I'll look after her tonight, then we can figure out tomorrow."

"Casey, I just…I want to help her."

"I know you do, and I want to help her too, but we can't push her."

A sigh. "I know, I know; it's just…it's hard when someone you care about isn't exactly herself, and you want to do everything to help but can't."

Casey swallowed the lump in her throat. Hearing Elliot speak and the way he sounded so helpless; it only further raised her suspicions about how he felt towards Olivia. While she wanted to bring it up, she knew that now wasn't the time to do so. There were other aspects to worry about rather than their feelings. Olivia had to get over this hurdle she was facing before they could even more in another direction.

"I know…I know…" Casey paused for a second then spoke; "Listen, you go home and get out of this shitty weather; she's okay, and I'm sure she'll talk to you tomorrow, even if I have to make her do it myself."

There was silence for a moment, then a sigh; "Thanks Casey for looking out for her; I'll just talk to her tomorrow – hopefully."

"I got you guys back, I mean it; which means if you need to talk, you can always call me too." She replied.

"Thanks Case, I appreciate that," he sighed again; "I'll talk to you later; goodnight."

"Goodnight Elliot."

With that, she pressed the red 'End' button on the decide before sighing to herself.

Olivia and Elliot – two of the most complicated people, with a connection that was almost electrifying.

The first thing Olivia noticed when she woke up the next morning was the splitting headache that had set in. She blinked a couple times and took a moment to gather her bearings, and it was then that she realized that she was still at Casey's apartment. She sat up and stretched her arms over her head, before wincing again as her head continued to pound. She remembered drinking wine and crying last night; crying about all the guilt she felt regarding the accident and Kathy's death.

She scoffed to herself; she hated that she had broken down to Casey last night, but everything had just gotten too much, and she was simply tired.

"Morning Benson."

She jumped slightly and turned around; Casey was in the kitchen area of the vast apartment and was giving her a wide smile. Olivia gave her a slight smile before standing up slowly and making her way over, her sock covered feet sinking into the plush carpet before tapping softly against the wood floor of the kitchen area as she stepped closer to her friend. Casey pushed a plate of toast and scrambled eggs in front of her and shook some pain killers into her hand.

"Take these, then eat something and drink some water; you'll feel better." She told her. Olivia simply nodded and gulped down the painkillers with water, then sat herself down at the island counter and tucked into the food.

"Damn Case," she grumbled, rubbing her hand over her head; "Did I really drink a lot?"

"We had quite a bit, but you knocked back a little more than I did," Casey sighed, leaning her elbows on the counter as she stood on the other side; "Liv, you need to talk to him."

Olivia groaned, rolling her eyes; "Casey, can you let me get through the holidays please?"

"You're gonna keep stalling, thinking he's gonna forget about it- "

"I know he won't forget about it, he doesn't seem to forget anything when he thinks we need to talk," Olivia spoke as she shoved another forkful of eggs into her mouth; "Listen, I know…just, let me do this on my own, Case." She jumped when she heard her phone beep from where it was charging on the counter, so she reached over and grabbed it. She sighed to herself when she saw that it was a text from Elliot that had been sent a few hours earlier, and she felt a lump form in her throat when she saw the message;

'7:45am – Morning; Merry Christmas! I hope you're okay, and I hope you know that the offer still stands. We'll set an extra spot for dinner tonight.'

She felt so bad. He had really been up for her spending Christmas with them, but as usual, her emotions got the best of her and she had probably ruined the vibe. It didn't seem as though he was too upset with her about things, but then again, she couldn't exactly get a read on his emotions through text. She thought about calling him and explaining, but the thought alone made her feel a little awkward.

She didn't know what to do.

"Liv."

She lifted her gaze, flicking her eyes to look at Casey; "Hmm?"

"I have an idea, and I want you to hear me out."

Olivia raised an eyebrow, so Casey continued;

"I think you should go to Kathy's grave and- "

"Absolutely not; that's awkward."

"Olivia, you said you'd hear me out," Casey shot her a glare, and Olivia held her hands up before leaning back in the chair; "I'm serious; maybe you do need to go visit her grave and get all these feelings out of you – I'll even go with you."

"Case, I appreciate you and the concern, but no."

"But it'll help you; you can just go unload and…" she chewed her lip for a second, before blurting out;

"And maybe you won't feel weird about spending Christmas with Elliot and the kids."

Olivia opened her mouth to respond, but then her brow furrowed in confusion as she wracked her brain for a moment; "How do you know about that?"

Casey took a breath, then quietly admitted; "I called Elliot last night- "

"You did what?"

"Liv, chill out," Casey held her hand up, stopping her friend from launching into one of her rants; "Okay; you had cried yourself to sleep and I didn't know what to do, and I called him to see if he had spoken to you about anything because I was worried; he had been just about to call me anyway as he had gone to your apartment and you weren't there, and so we talked and he mentioned it."

Olivia scowled at her, a feeling of annoyance creeping through her veins; "You had no right to call him."

"I know I shouldn't have and I'm sorry…" Casey reached over and placed a hand on her arm; "We're all just worried about you, especially him. Look, I can't pretend that I know what you're all going through, but you're both hurting, and I think it's best if you talk to him and start this path towards healing together; be each other's stability like you always have been."

Olivia could hear Kathy's voice in her head again; 'You're his partner, you give him stability…Elliot can't move on unless he feels like he's on solid ground.'

She swallowed nervously, before looking up at Casey again. She thought about her friend's words and her expression softened; Casey and even Elliot were just concerned about her and she could see that. She appreciated their concern and while it was a little irritating that Casey had called Elliot, she did understand why. Casey was right; she and Elliot did need to talk and while the talk probably wouldn't happen until after the holidays, it was inevitable, and it would definitely aid in the healing process.

But maybe her healing could also start today with a trip to Kathy's grave.

"Case."

"Yeah?"

She bit her lip for a second and gave it one more quick thought before speaking;

"Let's go to Kathy's grave."

An hour later, Olivia and Casey were showered and dressed and now headed to the cemetery. They stopped on the way there and got some flowers, before continuing on to where she was buried. Olivia parked the car and they both got out, then Casey stood back to wait by the car while Olivia headed over to the head stone. She took some breaths as she approached and felt her heart pound with each step she took, but she knew she had to do this and get everything out.

She needed to start healing properly.

She came across Kathy's headstone and paused for a moment; she eyed the picture that was used on the headstone, read the words engraved on the stone. She spotted the flowers that were already there and smiled to herself; Elliot and the kids had been here and put the beautiful flowers in the little pot in front of the stone. She brushed the light dusting of snow from the top of the stone, before kneeling onto the ground which was covered in the light dusting of snow that fallen the night before. She placed the flowers in the pot, before taking a breath.

"Hey Kath; I hope you're doing okay up there – you're missed a whole lot down here, and I know me, and you weren't best friends, but I miss you too; I hope you know that I always had nothing but the upmost respect for you."

She paused for a second, then spoke again;

"I've been feeling a little guilty about things…about, the accident; I know I did everything I could, but still…I don't know Kath; sometimes I think that maybe if I hadn't volunteered to take you or if the driver had come from the other way and hit me instead, maybe it would be better – you'd still be here and they would be happy."

She shrugged, twirling a bit of grass around her finger. She sniffled and tried to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall, but it was if she had suddenly been overcome with emotion.

"I'm so sorry Kathy; I'm so sorry for not being careful and getting into that accident, I'm so sorry that I couldn't save you…I'm sorry for the pain I caused your family…and…"

She paused for a second, before taking a breath;

"And I'm sorry that I can't control how I feel about Elliot – how I've always felt."

She shrugged, still fiddling with the grass;

"I keep thinking about that time we met up in the park, and you wanted me to talk him into signing the divorce papers…" she let out a laugh as she wiped her eyes; "I never talked to him by the way; he signed them on his own after that case we were working – I guess it opened his eyes; the stubborn fucker."

The wind swirled around her again and she shivered, but the small smile remained on her face as she could feel that Kathy was amused by the statement.

"What I think about though is what you said; you told me that I was his partner and that I gave him stability, and that he couldn't move on unless he felt like he was on solid ground…I always knew deep down what you meant, but I guess I didn't want to admit it to myself and besides, things were really complicated at the time and Elliot eventually came home so I thought it didn't matter; but…I just want you to know that nothing ever happened…" she laughed a bit, shrugging; "I used to piss Elliot off when I'd nag at him, telling him to go home to you or to call you or to just talk to you about things…I'm just sorry if I ever overstepped or anything."

She sighed slightly, wiping her eyes again;

"I'm just sorry Kathy, for everything; and I hope you forgive me – for what happened and for what I feel."

She shuddered when she felt the wind whip around her, and she rubbed her hands up and down her arms for warmth. Her eyes fluttered shut as the tears dripped down her cheeks, and she swore that she heard Kathy's voice;

"No guilt…just live."

She choked out a sob and clamped her hand over her mouth; Elliot used to tell her that Kathy used to always say that. It was like her small way of saying to have no regrets, and to just live a full, beautiful life.

Kathy had pretty much just given some sort of blessing and forgiveness all in one; Olivia felt it in her heart and it only made her cry even more as thick tears fell down her cheeks.

"I have something to do," she sniffled before rubbing her hand over the stone; "Merry Christmas Kath; thank you."

She went to stand up, but stopped when she remembered she had one more thing to say;

"And I promise I will continue looking after Elliot and those sweet kiddos of yours; they're safe in my hands, I promise."

The cold air whipped around her again; Kathy heard, and she approved.

Olivia rubbed her hand over the head stone one more time before pulling herself up off the ground. She brushed the bit of snow off of her clothes before making her way over to Casey, whom was sitting in the car again with the heat on. She slipped into the driver's side of the car before turning to her friend, whom was looking at her with a wide smile on her face.

"Feeling better?" she asked. Olivia nodded, a smile breaking out onto her face.

"A lot better."

"Good," Casey placed a hand on her arm; "Are you staying at mine for dinner? My parents and brothers should be down within the next couple hours; you're welcome to join us."

Olivia shook her head as she reversed out of the spot where she'd parked. She had another idea, one that she refused to give up on as now, she had all the confirmation and approval that she had craved.

"Nah, I've got something else to do."

The doorbell sounded throughout the Stabler household, capturing the attention of the children and their father. Elliot hollered for one of them to get the door as he was busy preparing dinner, and the girls reminded Dickie that it was his turn to answer the door. He grumbled and slipped baby Eli into Kathleen's arms, before making his way through to the foyer. He undid the locks and pulled the door open, and his eyes went wide when he saw who was standing on the other side with quite a few gift bags in her hands.

"Holy shit," he muttered before pushing open the glass door, "Hey Olivia; you made it!"

"Hey kid; little help here?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. Dickie nodded and took a few bags from her, before stepping aside as she stepped in. He used his free hand to shut the door behind her before greeting her with a peck on the cheek.

"I'm so glad you came over," he told her before hollering; "Guys, look who's here!"

The sound of footsteps was heard some moments later, and gasps were heard as the girls laid eyes on their visitor before they all crashed into her for a big hug; "Olivia!"

"Hey guys," Olivia breathed out, giving them all a hug before letting go; "Some gifts for you all and Eli; I didn't wrap them so I'm sorry about that, but…yeah; just gifts for my favorite kids."

The kids all thanked her before taking the bags through to the living room, chatting away excitedly. Olivia laughed to herself and turned around take off her coat but was stopped when a pair of hands curled around the collar to begin helping her out of it. She smiled as the familiar, calming scent of aftershave washed over her, and once the coat was off, she turned around.

He was smiling at her, and his blue eyes were shimmering with happiness; "You made it."

"Surprise," she dramatically waved her hands around, earning a chuckle from him; "El…I'm sorry if I've seemed a little off."

"No, I'm the one that's sorry…" Elliot spoke as he moved to hang up her coat; "I've been wallowing in my own pity, and I am so sorry; if I've ever given you any reason to not feel comfortable talking to me, I am so sorry."

"No, this one's on me; I'm just sorry for shutting you out," she sighed and placed her hand on his bicep; "Listen, let's get through today, and then on my next day off, we'll go talk – about everything."

"Sounds like a plan," he draped an arm around her shoulders, giving her a one arm hug; "Come on; there's some presents with your name on them."

Olivia smiled, nodding her head as she nudged him. While she knew that the conversation with Elliot was bound to bring up a slew of emotions, she felt good right now. The talks with Casey helped and the visit to Kathy's grave had helped her as well. She felt like some of the weight had been lifted off of her, and while she didn't know where life was going to take her and Elliot and the kids yet, she looked forward to finding out. She would continue to be the best friend to him that he deserved, and she would continue to help look after the kids and be an 'auntie' or something to them – whatever they needed her to be.

The remainder of the day was full of laughter and happiness; a certain light was in the house, one that hadn't been around in over a month. The kids loved all of their gifts that had come from Olivia, and Elliot too loved his gifts from her which resulted in him giving her a big hug. Little Eli had even gotten quite a few clothes from Olivia and some toys that he could play with as he got bigger, though he seemed to enjoy looking at them due to the bright colors and lights on them. Olivia had been surprised to find that they had gotten her quite a few gifts as well and had loved every one of them, resulting in her thanking them numerous times and hugging them all, including little Eli, who gurgled happily against her shoulder as he always did as he loved the comfort of her arms.

Dinner went down well and was full of just as much joy; they were happy, and they spent time sharing stories and just chatting about general things. Olivia loved hearing about the past Christmases in the Stabler household, and while she had been worried that the kids would get emotional while talking about such, she was pleased that they hadn't and had instead, seemed to remember the good times which helped them smile. They seemed to be doing well and while she knew it would still take time and they would always have good days and bad days, she was pleased that today, they could find the joy and happiness and make this day special somehow.

She stayed for dessert and stayed to help Elliot clean up and put the extra food away, though she couldn't stay the night as she had to work the next day. After going upstairs to give a sleeping Eli a kiss on the cheek, she returned downstairs and hugged all of the children, telling them she loved them and would see them soon. Elliot walked her outside as he was helping her carry the presents she had gotten from him and the kids, and after he loaded them into the back of her car for her, he turned and pulled her into a warm hug.

"Thank you." He mumbled, squeezing her tightly. She squeezed him back and rubbed her hands up and down his back, before pulling away and looking up at him.

"Thank you for inviting me; I loved today," she squeezed his arms before letting go; "I'll see you soon; I don't even know when my next day off is – the holidays mean NYPD is about to pull some serious overtime."

"I'll be back to relieve some of the stress soon," he reached around her and opened her car door for her; "Told Cragen I wanted to come back after the New Year."

"Whoa – you sure?" she asked, her eyes going wide; "I mean…I know they gave you three months of paid leave so…" She tilted her head but breathed out when she saw him nodding his head.

"I'm a hundred percent sure, Liv; I think it's time for me to get back into a routine of sorts," he shrugged; "I told Cragen that I would start slow; just enough so I wouldn't miss Eli's bedtime and all that, and then I'll just work my way back into the groove of things; Mo already said she doesn't mind watching him on her days off, and then I told him before that Kathy's sister and her husband are coming down to stay for a while and they said they'd watch them too."

"They don't hate you like her parents do?" she smirked. Elliot chuckled, shaking his head.

"Nah, her sister has always had a soft spot for me thank God, and her husband is a cool dude so I can trust them with my kid," he replied before leaning towards her, "So, I'll be back to annoy you soon."

"Just when I was getting used to you not being around," she joked before giving him a quick hug; "Okay seriously go inside, I'll see you soon." She slipped into the car and started the engine, while Elliot shut the driver's side door. She put her window down before smiling up at him as he smiled back.

"Call me when you get home; I like to know that you're safe." He told her. She rolled her eyes, shaking her head in despair.

"As overprotective as ever," she joked before continuing, "Goodnight El; see you later."

"Goodnight Liv." He waved at her, watching as she put the window back up. She reversed out of the drive, then beeped the horn before driving off, heading back towards Manhattan.

One day at a time…they would just take one day at a time.

Whew - another update completed. I hope you all enjoyed this; leave your feedback. Don't worry, EO aren't getting together yet, BUT the upcoming chapters are going to be crazy. I won't give too much away; just wait and see. Thanks for the support; until next time xoxo