(14) Smile

Connie smiled as I came up the stairs of the back porch. "My, my aren't we popular it's only your first day and you have a visitor. A handsome fellow at that." Connie hinted and held the back door open for me. I had a forced smile on my face and I made my way through the house. A part of my heart lifted with false hope. He couldn't be here?

I rounded the corner making sure to avoid colliding with the coffee table. A huge smile broke out on my face.

Jacob.

He was standing by the door. His long hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail wearing jeans and a gray shirt with a light windbreaker. He saw me walking towards him and smiled.

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. "What are you doing here?" I looked up at him.

"Visiting you, duh. How's your back?" Jacob eyed me carefully gently taking his arms away from me and I shrugged.

"It's fine." I was impressed he remembered. I was still on painkillers but the worst of the pain subsided. I stared at him and he winked at me.

"So how are you? Really." Jacob moved away from the door proceeding to the couch and I stopped him.

"Actually do you want to go for a walk?" I asked cautiously. I glanced around the living room and Connie appeared in the background. She nodded her head and I took Jacob by the arm.

"Okay." He said skeptically. He let me lead him down the stairs up the sidewalk towards the tree-lined path. The ocean breeze blew on our faces as we strolled our way to the benches.

"How did you find me?" I asked and sat on the bench. He followed my lead and sat across. He stared into the trees for a minute.

"Mapquest. How is this place?" Jacob said softly. He brought his leg up and crossed it to get more comfortable on the stiff bench. I saw Myra in the background giving me a thumbs up and making kissing faces. I rolled my eyes and put my hand behind Jacob to swat her away. She gave me a thumbs down and left.

"Wonderful. I feel like a specimen about to be dissected by the doctors. You didn't have to come all this way, you know." The sarcasm deep in my tone.

"Yes I did. I promised I would visit you." Jacob leaned closer to me. "If you want to leave just say the word."

I looked at him for a second to see if he was kidding but his dark eyes were serious. I took a deep breath.

"I might take you up on that offer." I joked but looked away regardless. I wanted Jacob to understand that I might have to stay here for a while. "I can't leave Jake. There's nowhere for me to go."

"You can stay with me and Billy. I know were not that great company but it sure beats the crazy house." He instantly regretted saying that. "Sorry Bella, I just want you to be happy."

"You being here with me is making me happy. I have no right to ask for anything more." I shrugged my shoulders and felt pathetic the minute the words escaped my lips. I'm sure that's what Jacob was dying to do every Saturday visit the "crazy" girl.

"I'll try to come see you everyday." Jacob promised. He brushed his hand on my shoulder.

"You don't have to do that. I would feel terrible if I kept you from doing your homework or something." I replied.

Jacob laughed and slapped his knees. "Yeah, you're totally the reason for me not doing my homework. That's great. I'll have to tell Billy that when I get home." He paused. "You're my friend Bella. I would do the same for any other friend."

"Thanks Jacob. I'm glad you're my friend. Even though I still think your nuts. This is a long drive. Trust me I won't be offended if you decide to stay home once in a while." I reasoned and his eyes changed. The joy disappeared and he hung his head.

"If you don't want me to come then just say it. I don't want a pity friend." Jacob kept his head down. I gulped and hurried to fix my statement. Of course, I wanted Jacob to come visit me but I had no right to keep him away from home or his friends.

I settled for the semi truth. "I just don't want you to exert all your energy on me that's all." I studied my nails. "I wouldn't feel so bad about you coming down here if we had a purpose. Something that made it worth you driving fifty miles out to Pacific Beach."

"It's forty-eight miles actually. Hmm." He thought for a minute. "We could do our homework together or you could tutor me."

I stared at him. "How about something less intellectual."

"Okay. Tomorrow I'll bring something we can do. Promise." Jacob leaned in. He put his head against his hand. "Your warden is back. I think it's time for me to go." He stood and stared at the house.

I looked back and saw Connie standing on the front porch. Myra and Lily watched from the bay window in the living room. Gee, now I had an audience watching me.

Jacob gave me a quick hug and waved to my spectators. He shook his head in amusement and walked to the truck. I watched him go and felt my heart sink in my chest. My chest tightened automatically and I scolded myself to get use to it. When Jacob did come back things would get better. I would feel better.

I trudged to the house feeling like a prisoner. Jacob wasn't far off when he called Connie my "warden" all that was missing was a chain link fence and handcuffs.

Trapped was the word that bounced in my head.

Connie went back in and Myra leaned against the couch with her elbows resting on the ledge.

"He's hot." Myra exclaimed. "He's from the Indian reservation isn't he?" She stared at me and I nodded.

"I knew it. Those boys are really fun." She winked at Lily who rolled her eyes.

"I've seen hotter." Lily snapped and sat on the couch propping her feet on the coffee table.

"Oh yeah, who is hotter than him." Myra challenged and I took the opportunity to sit on the recliner by the fireplace.

"Umm, so many people that I've dated." Lily began.

"Yeah, well the ones in your head don't count. Please your just jealous." Myra teased.

"I had way hotter boyfriends. One guy was a model for catalogues." Lily replied and turned the magazine pages with rage.

"What was his name?" Myra countered.

Joey walked in and looked at the two bickering girls. She sat across from me lying on her stomach to read her novel.

"His name was Mark." Lily retorted.

"Mark what?" Myra disputed.

"Go away." Lily sneered. She turned away from Myra and started reading her magazine.

"You know what I think, Lily." Myra rose from her spot on the couch and leaned down next to Lily. "I think you're full of crap. You are so pathetic that you have to make up a pretend boyfriend to make yourself feel better. I feel sorry for you." Myra snickered and walked down the hallway.

Lily swallowed anger and rose from the couch. "I'll be in my room." She mumbled and took the magazine with her.

I watched her walk away. I raised my eyebrows and stared at the fire for a long time. I forgot Joey was lying on the floor by my feet.

Connie walked up to me. "Dr. Shay is ready to see you." Ugh. I forgot about Dr. Shay. I did not feel like explaining my journal to anyone least of all a doctor. Run away.