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Part Fourteen: Daunting

Decembers is the month to scream Christmas, candy canes and presents. What Hiroki wishes the most right now is to walk out of the hospital but sadly he lost the use of his legs. It was not that he got paralyzed since he can crawl and kick. He just could not remember how to walk. Hiroki is practically an infant since he is being fed and bath by nurses. The only company he has is the morning newspapers and static basic cable television. Life in the hospital is quite dreary and repetitive for this young man. The facial hair on his face is starting to irritate him and he is beginning to look like those people who live in cabins out in the forest while cutting lumber for a living. Hiroki call the nurse for shaving cream and razors. The nurse help him get into his wheelchair, push him into the bathroom and is shoo away for the sake of Hiroki's privacy. Hiroki looks at his lumber man beard one last time before he covers it with shaving cream. The smell of raspberries struck into Hiroki's nostrils as he looks at the brand of shaving cream. It just so happens that the fruity scented cream is for women. He threw the can to the side; remove the green cap covering the razor sharp fresh blade. He places it gently against his skin, making an oval shape mouth to cut off all of the hair follicles on his cheeks as much as he can in one stroke on each line he makes.

Hiroki then wash his face, threw away the pale dull blade into the disposal can and went back to his room finding the nurse not there anymore. He rolls his earthy bright autumn color eyes as he rolls himself next to his white bed. There, he sat for at least a good 10 minutes before he decides to try to stand up and get in the bed himself. With support of the arm rests on the wheel chair, Hiroki push himself up determines to be able to make it to the bed without falling. His plan crash and burn as his legs wobble while letting go of the arm rest, falling face first onto the white hard cold floor which smells as if the workers mop the floor with really strong bleach. The newly shaven man lay there not bothering to get up. He mutters to himself that he admits defeat while wishing he can walk again. Short after that incident Nowaki came, with his white lab coat holding onto a bright lime green paper covered rectangle; with a frilly silver ribbon on top of it.

"Hiro-san! Why are you on the floor!" the alarm doctor said as he rushes to help his small adorable boyfriend up. Hiroki accepted the help but he flashback from what Tsumori said that night.

"Let go of me you giant sick freak!" Hiroki fights off the tall overgrown man. Nowaki, who is already used to the beatings, pick him up from the floor and tuck him into bed. Ignoring Hiroki's protest he asks a casual question.

"How was your day Hiro-san? I see you finally shaved off your small beard."

"I was having a fabulous day without you!" Hiroki yelled. Nowaki leaned in, run his long skillful fingers through Hiroki's thick long hair. This action makes Hiroki disgusted but at the same time making his knee's feel oh so week. It took a while before Hiroki got the strength to push Nowaki's hands away from his chestnut hair.

"Do not make such false acclaims. I know you are bored to tears in here."

"And what makes you think that?" Hiroki growled

Nowaki places the lime green gift on top of Hiroki's lap. He looks down, investigating the gift before opening it. Unlike Nowaki who opens the gift by un-taping the tapes just to save the wrapping paper for no apparent reason, Hiroki just rips that paper like there is no tomorrow. The doctor chuckled lightly on how the little things like that makes him loves Hiroki even more. Some things never change even when the one you love lost half of his memory.

"A book?" The man question; which his puzzled eyes turn into a smile when he sees the author's name.

"Nikolai Gogol. I remember how you always choose that book whenever you decide to reread any of your library collection. Two years back you have lost it. So I went to buy a copy for you to read once more."

Taras Bulba was the book Hiroki always like to reread that book when he does not have anything else to do. When he first got the copy back when he was 14 he was hook to it. Eyes never left the page, his nose stuck in between the two pages; his day passes by in a flash without realizing it was night time already. It was like a tradition to read this book once a year. The new fresh sour book he got as a teenager soon turn crinkly yellow, wrinkle, and the scent is musty but has that familiar feeling to it as he ages. He always uses the same bookmark which was a piece of ripped paper from an old math homework problem soon to turn yellow over the years as well. One mysterious day, Hiroki lost that precious book as he ran to catch the train, never to be seen again.

Nowaki has read the book himself as well. To him, it screams out Hiro-san all over the pages. The aroma, the touch, the look all has Hiroki written on it. It is a fantastic book indeed and at the same time he felt so happy just to hold something that was with Hiroki for so long.

"Thank you, I did not know you knew what type of books I like."

"You will read any book as long as it interests you Hiro-san."

For that moment, Hiroki felt a new side of Nowaki he never knew. The man looks at him with kind eyes for the first time. They stare at each other, eye to eye, not looking away. Nowaki lean in, cup Hiroki's chin towards him. Their moist warm lips met and they kiss. The kiss is not like that violent encounter a few days ago as Hiroki fears. It is soft, sweet, gentle, kind and tender. They gaze at each other as if they were in love once more. This lasted for a good few minutes until Hiroki apprehends what they were doing. He gave back the book to Nowaki frowns upon the doctor's action.

"I do not want to take books from people like you. You are going to try to make me think you're a worthy noble person when in reality you're not."

"I do not understand?"

"You just want me as some petrified sex slave. Hear me out; I do not fear you any longer. I do not know who I was for the past 12 years but I do know one thing. I will not make the same mistake and fall for you again."

NOTE: Excuse my absents, I was busy with school.