So, for some reason the reviews from the previous chapter didn't show up in my email, and didn't show up on the site until like a few hours ago...so I'm really not sure if I answered every review or if everyone even got the answers I sent out. I'm really sorry if I messed up somehow and sent the wrong responses to the wrong people, or if some reviewers didn't get answers at all, but I honestly can't figure out what happened with the last chapter. I try really hard to answer every review that comes my way, but I feel like that in all the confusion of the last chapter, I missed a few...so sorry if that was you!
Thanks for the support (and extra thanks goes out to the guests, who I haven't been able to respond to via PM)! And sorry again for whatever strange mishap went on with the reviews on the last chapter!
Chapter 14: The Hanged Man
The Hanged Man: signifies suspension, restriction, and sacrifice.
Lunch was a terrible affair. Dinner was worse.
L held out a spoon, into which he'd scooped a large portion of chocolate pudding. "Just eat it, Light," he whined. "It's not going to hurt you! It will increase brain function by forty percent!"
"I thought that was the weird sitting that did that!" was the indignant response.
"Well, yes, that too…" L waved the spoon tantalizingly over Light's lips.
The teen turned his head away, pursing his lips momentarily. "I have already been forced to endure this indignity once today, Ryuzaki. I implore you, do not force me to do this again."
"Are you begging, Light?" L asked, thinking vaguely that he'd rather like that to be the case.
"I am not begging! I am politely requesting that you release me!"
"And I am telling you that it's not going to happen. Now please, eat your diner."
"Pudding is not dinner, Ryuzaki."
"It is for me!"
"I would think it rather obvious that I am not you!"
"But—"
"Watari brought in chicken soup for a reason—so you wouldn't force that disgusting, sugary goop down my throat! Now get rid of that chocolate monstrosity, and if you insist upon feeding me, then at least feed me something I like!"
He had such fire, such passion—it would have been beautiful, had it not been completely infuriating. L sighed in defeat, finally admitting to himself, after struggling through lunch and part of dinner, that Light was adverse to sugar. He reached for a clean spoon, resting the chocolate-covered utensil back in the bowl of pudding, and forlornly set the bowl of chicken soup on the tray that rested across Light's stomach, supported by two flimsy wooden stokes on either side of his body. He scooped a bit of soup into the spoon and offered it to Light, who accepted with a heated glare. "I think I like you better like this," L commented, just to throw him off. "You're much more quiet when you're chewing."
The flush that spread across Light's cheeks was enough to force a well-concealed smirk across the detective's features. Really, the teen was just so fun to play with like this. He was so responsive. Light swallowed the bit of soup and opened his mouth to snap back at his captor, but L occupied him with another bite before he had the chance. The way Light pouted, lips still locked around the spoon, was far too visually stimulating for L to bear.
"Ryu—mph!" Light was cut off yet again, and this time he stayed quiet as he chewed, glaring sharply at the detective crouching over him.
As he slowly fed Light the soup, L found himself regretting over the loss of the day. He'd wanted to spend the whole time interrogating Light, picking away at his mental walls. But instead he'd spend it trying to get Light to talk to him, and when he refused, trying to figure out what he was doing wrong and how to rectify it. The teen, after fighting L throughout all of lunch, had proceeded to punish L for feeding him by glaring silently for countless hours. Eventually L had given up, tightened all of Light's restraints, and gone to work. He'd made it about an hour before he went back to Light. Then they'd sat there and glared at each other until dinner, when Light had finally opened his mouth to complain about L feeding him again.
In other words, L had accomplished nothing.
L didn't like accomplishing nothing.
About ten minutes later, Light finally asserted that he'd had enough, and L put the soup aside. "Are you done complaining now?" he asked, well aware of the petulant tone he was putting on.
"Depends on whether or not you intend to leave me here for an indefinite amount of time." His voice was clipped, terse.
L suppressed another smirk. "Well, Light…there's something we could do, if you want to stretch your legs for a bit."
"Really?" Light snapped his head up to stare at the detective.
"Yes, really," L responded, resisting the urge to laugh at Light's hopeful tone. "If you recall, you promised that if I waited until nighttime, you'd bathe without resistance. I've waited, Light, and now I wish to take a shower—and you no doubt wish to take one as well."
Light paled. "I'm supposed to shower in front of you," he said, seemingly testing the words out on his tongue.
"You are." L left out the part where they showered at the same time. He wanted to be able to see the horrified expression on Light's face when he reminded him of that little detail.
"I…" Light trailed off, bowing his head momentarily. "I suppose I promised…"
"You did," L said, and he could tell that Light wasn't happy about it in the least. "And I expect you to keep that promise. I'd rather like a shower, and I don't want to have to deal with your resistance."
Light bit his lip. He had no choice, and he knew it. "…Fine," he whispered in a low tone. "Let me up."
L eagerly reached for the restraints, releasing Light in a matter of seconds. The detective pushed himself up off the bed eagerly. After the aftermath of the previous night's dream, he wanted more than anything to wash away the remaining traces of what had happened. He wanted to feel clean again. "Come on," he urged impatiently.
"Yeah, yeah…" Light winced as he pushed himself into a sitting position, inching to the edge of the bed and placing his feet on the ground. He held his head momentarily, no doubt beginning to experience a head rush, and slowly got to his feet.
It didn't last long. He lifted one foot of the ground, attempted to step towards L—and fell.
"Light!" L gasped before he could comprehend what he was saying, and the next moment he was reaching out subconsciously, and the moment after that Light was pulled tight to his chest. He'd caught him mid-fall, it seemed, and was now cradling him to his chest like a child. It had been pure instinct, he told himself—and the results of said instinct felt heavenly. The teen felt small in his arms, much more delicate than he would have thought just by looking at him.
"Ryuzaki," Light protested, beginning to squirm now that his head rush was presumably gone. His fingers clenched, and L became aware that Light was clutching at his shirt like a child. Another result of instinct, surely. "Please let me go; I'm perfectly fine now."
L hesitated a moment longer before complying. Damn it all, he thought, I need to get this under control. "I merely wanted to stop you from falling."
"O-of course…thank you."
Was that a blush? No, surely not…L had to be imagining it. "You're quite welcome. Now, a shower…?"
"Yes, forgive me…" Light took another step, pausing briefly before continuing. He was most likely trying to make sure he didn't fall and end up in the same compromising position as before. He whisked away, hands unbound, feet unfettered, and entered the bathroom. L wasn't far behind, closing and locking the door behind him. He didn't miss the teen's weary glance at the locked door, but he said nothing.
L reached for the shower, turning it on and making sure the dial was set to a warm temperature. It was beginning to grow cold out, and a warm shower would do them both good. He glanced subtly to Light, who was staring uncertainly at the water.
"It will be hard to take a shower if you won't remove your clothing," L hinted, refraining from beginning to undress until Light was past the point of no return. The teen would surely refuse if he did it any other way.
"I know…" Light murmured reluctantly. "I just…"
L sighed. "It's nothing I haven't seen before, Light."
His head snapped up. "What are you saying?" he demanded. "Have you been watching me?"
"No, no," L soothed, glossing over his momentary mistake in referencing the cameras. "I meant that I have solved a great many cases, and that I have been in situations similar to this one before."
Light offered him a ghost of a smile. "Lie." But still, his hands went to his black long-sleeved shirt, and a moment later he was peeling it up and over his head. It hit the ground beside L's feet, and for a moment his eyes refused to leave Light's exposed front. He'd seen it before, through cameras but this was different. Now he could see every crease, every muscle, every imperfection—though there were few. Light wasn't overly toned or overly muscular, just as the cameras had suggested. Instead, he was pleasantly thin with lightly defined muscles, all contained beneath golden skin. He was beautiful without question.
"You're staring!" Light accused, cheeks red (though it could have been a result of the heated steam that was beginning to gather in the bathroom as the water warmed). "Ryuzaki, at least turn away for just a moment."
"We've already—"
"Yeah, yeah," Light cut him off, sighing heavily. "We've already discussed this. Sorry." The flush remained as he undid his pants and pulled them down, leaving him in the plaid boxers L had lent him earlier. And then he reached for those as well, and in the blink of an eye he was completely naked. L barely had time to blink before Light ducked around him and made a beeline for the shower, hiding beneath the water and the steam.
L smirked lightly, exhibiting at least a small level of restraint as he politely kept his eyes from wandering below the belt. Light seemed to appreciate it, though he voiced nothing. The detective waited until Light reached for the shampoo and began washing his hair before he executed the second part of his plan. He reached for his shirt, and yanked it off in one, fluid motion.
Light noticed immediately. "Ryuzaki?" he asked, sounding slightly panicked. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to take a shower, Light." He kept his expression purposefully blank.
"Not now you're not! You'll shower after me, got it?"
"But Light, all the hot water will be gone!"
"Then I'll get out before I've used it. Just stop undressing, got it?"
L stripped himself of his pants as Light spoke. "It'll save water."
"I don't care—stop that this instant!"
"Fine, then," L said, "in that case, I'm joining you because there's a possibility that you're doing something sinister and using the steam as cover."
Light spluttered, "The steam isn't even that thick!"
"No matter, Light. I'm sure you understand my suspicion, seeing as we don't yet know how Kira kills. For all I know, you could be killing people right now." He hooked his fingers around the waistband of his boxers, but didn't pull them down.
"Ryuzaki, come on…" Light trailed off, eyes flickering to where L was grasping at his boxers. "You can't really expect me to—"
"If you don't allow me to do this, then I'm afraid that I will become even more convinced that you are Kira."
Light's eyes widened. "Is that a threat, Ryuzaki? Are you threatening me?"
"No, of course not," L responded vaguely, though that was indeed what he was doing. "I'm simply informing you that my suspicion will be increased to a reasonable degree if you do not comply."
Light didn't seem to know how to respond.
"You may turn away," L informed him. "There's no reason you have to look at me, if it makes you uncomfortable." And then he was yanking off his boxers, purposefully leaving too little time for Light to turn away before he was completely exposed. He smirked at the dark blush that colored his suspect's cheeks as he whipped around, water coursing down his lightly muscled back. L pulled open the shower door and slipped in, grateful that the shower was large enough to comfortably maneuver around in without making Light too uncomfortable. If they wished, they could stretch out their arms in either direction without striking the walls.
"I can't believe you," Light muttered, still working the shampoo into his hair. He stuck his head under the showerhead a moment later, beginning to rake the lather out with his fingers (L hadn't provided him a comb).
"There's really nothing to believe," was L's response as he switched places with Light, wetting his hair and reaching for his coconut-scented shampoo. He poured the thick goop atop his head in generous amounts, catching the way Light's nose curled as the sweet scent filled the shower.
"God, Ryuzaki," he complained, applying soap to a washcloth and beginning to run it across his arms. "Do you love sugar so much that you have to bathe in it?"
L scrunched his features into a pout as he rinsed his hair, stepping aside to allow Light to rinse the suds from his arms. "I simply enjoy it. Don't you think it smells good?"
Light, who frequently used eucalyptus-scented shampoo, wrinkled his nose. "No, Ryuzaki, I'm sure you know that I do not enjoy sugary things." His expression momentarily flickered with a deep weariness as he stated, "To be perfectly honest, I thought I'd imagined that you smelled like coconut."
L hummed in amusement as he reached for his sweet-scented body wash, squirting some of the liquid soap onto a washcloth and rubbing at his chest and stomach. It was a bit more than L normally used, but the disgusted expression on Light's face made it all worth it. "Is something wrong, Light?" he asked innocently.
The teen, whose eyes had briefly darted over to regard L's use of the sweet-scented body wash, immediately jerked his eyes away. "No," he said, returning his washcloth to his skin. "There's no problem at all."
L smirked, but Light didn't see it. His eyes locked, if only for a moment, onto the way the water was cascading down his suspect's body, and the smirk only grew in size. But then he frowned deeply, wiping the smirk from his face, and thought, no, no! Come on, snap out of it! You can think that way as much as you want, but you are not allowed to do anything to Light! He shook his head lightly, droplets of water spraying from the thick black mess atop his head.
"Ryuzaki!" Light complained as some of the discarded droplets spattered onto him. "Come on, at least have the courtesy to refrain from spraying me with water!" He whipped around, water cascading from his soaked hair.
L found himself staring directly into those amber eyes. He swallowed hard. "Sorry…" he muttered, eyes straying to the strands of hair clinging to the skin around the teen's eyes, plastered flat against his cheeks. Said eyes immediately narrowed to slits upon hearing L's apology, and the next moment he was turning away. L was obviously supposed to feel threatened, or otherwise shameful for having done what he had, but instead he was left with a vague sense of curiosity. Is Light taller than me? He wondered arbitrarily. He straightened his spine just to check, casting a not-so-subtle glance at his suspect, and found that no, Light was not taller than him. The teen was maybe three inches shorter when L straightened his spine, but when he was stooped over Light appeared the slightest bit taller. How interesting.
Light wordlessly stepped out from under the water and maneuvered around L, making his way to the other end of the shower, where he grabbed a bottle of green apple conditioner. He immediately began working the white substance into his hair as L, finally managing to shake himself out of his stupor, stepped under the spray to wash the suds from his skin. But still, his eyes wandered—and the way Light was standing just then, the gentle, almost girlish curves of his body, the way he was leaning just a bit too hard on one foot—it reminded him so much of the dreams he'd been having. And as he made the connection, a tiny prickle of some unknowable feeling washed through him, and he immediately knew that he needed to stop if he didn't want to embarrass himself.
L kept quiet as Light began to rinse the conditioner out of his hair. The silence between them began to stretch, and L felt a slight prickle of unease that he wasn't sure Light shared. The teen seemed utterly oblivious, in fact, sparing the detective not even a glance. The lack of conversation was beginning to make L tense. He wasn't sure why, but he felt the need to do something, say something, to break it. And so without thinking, he blurted out, "Most males your age don't use conditioner."
Light shot him a look that was half amused and half irritated, and L immediately clamped his mouth shut. Idiot, what are you doing? That sounded incredibly foolish.
"Well you know, Ryuzaki," the teen said, "most men your age don't make a habit of using sugary-scented shampoo and cinnamon body wash."
The detective flinched.
"What's more," Light continued, "I don't believe that most men your age enjoy the act of staring rather shamelessly at their male friend while he's in the midst of a shower."
"W-what—?"
Light continued to wash conditioner from his hair, turning his head away so that he was no longer looking at his companion. "Do you believe that I'm blind?"
L immediately jerked his gaze away, forcing out, "I don't know what you believe you saw, but I was certainly not staring at you."
"Hmm." The noise was of neither agreement nor denial, and it drove L mad.
"I'm telling you that I wasn't—!"
"At least be subtle about it, Ryuzaki. I'll begin to get the wrong idea if you keep it up."
The detective drew in a sharp breath, struggling to hold back the heat that was beginning to build in his cheeks. Light's teasing smirk didn't make matters any better.
"Calm down," the teen said with an amused chuckle. "I'm only joking, Ryuzaki."
Still frozen, L could do nothing but watch as Light stepped out from under the stream of water.
"I'm done," Light reported, opening the shower door and reaching for a towel. "You're really slow, you know that?"
The detective shook his head in disbelief. What was that I said about him? That he would be my biggest challenge yet? He watched, water catching only the tips of his toes as it cascaded from the faucet, as Light wrapped his towel around his waist and began to pad towards the sink, reaching for a brush.
Oh yes—a challenge indeed.
†††
After the rather uncomfortable events of the shower, L allowed Light a brief respite from the chains. It was more than anything to make up for being forced to share a shower—and Light seemed more than willing to accept his act of mercy.
"You know," L said as they stood, still slightly dripping, "this place has a balcony."
The flicker of hope in Light's eyes was hard to miss, however hard he tried to conceal it. "You…would let me go outside? What if I try to signal someone, or try to throw you over the edge?"
L was more than certain that he was completely safe from Light on the balcony—after all, the Death Note was nowhere in sight. And so just this once, he decided to be lenient. "If you would prefer that I blindfold you and chain you to one of the chairs, then I will do so. But if you intend to behave yourself, then I believe that you can be trusted to not attempt to murder me. After all, if I die in your presence, Watari has been ordered to have you executed."
The teen's eyes widened slightly. "No, no," he said, trying (and failing) to conceal his eagerness. "I won't try to murder you."
L almost laughed at the way the words broke over the air around them. It was certainly not a sentence he'd ever thought he would need to hear from one of his suspects. "Fine, then. The balcony is over there." He pointed to the wall of curtains to the right of the bed. "I've kept the curtains drawn so no one could look in, you understand." Keeping his back comfortably hunched, L shuffled his way over to the drapes and pulled them apart, revealing the slate-gray skyline. The entire wall was essentially a massive window made of incredibly thick glass, with a rather small door centered in the midst of the thing that led to a large balcony. L shot a subtle glance in Light's direction, and was immensely satisfied with the relieved expression on his face. "Come on, then," he called over his shoulder, reaching out and grasping the padlock (which wasn't common to the hotel, but something that L had added as an extra layer of security), entering the four-digit code, and pushing the doors outwards.
Light moved towards him in slow motion. His feet, still bare and uncovered, left indentations in the soft carpet as he made for the balcony. He swept past L without another word, and the instant the fresh air hit his face, his entire demeanor seemed to change. His shoulders slumped, the tension in his neck seemed to dissipate, his breathing eased—his entire body relaxed, and L marveled at the change.
Light lifted his head up slightly as a soft breeze whistled through the balcony, ruffling his damp hair and peeling it away from his face, on which it had previously been stuck. He sighed heavily, though it was not a sigh of exasperation or frustration, both of which L had become so acquainted with over the past two weeks he'd known him.
"Is this satisfactory?" L questioned arbitrarily, for he knew that it was.
Light didn't seem aware of the gentle smile on his face as he responded. "Yeah, Ryuzaki. It is."
"You seem to like the outdoors," he commented, following the teen out onto the balcony and shutting the door behind him.
"What makes you say that?" Light asked, back still turned to him.
"You're so fascinated by that forest." L walked further onto the balcony, looking around. It was a pleasantly large area with tall black railing enclosing its entirety, furnished with a high table and two chairs. And seeing as the sun was just beginning to set, it was beautiful as well. The fading light set everything on the balcony alight, outlining the dark furniture with even darker flame. In a few minutes it would be entirely dark, and it would be lit only by the tiny bulb screwed into a fixture that hung over the doorway.
"Oh yeah," Light said, as if he'd forgotten. Unfortunately, his back was turned, so L couldn't search those eyes to figure out if he was pretending that the premise had slipped his mind. "I'd really like to go there again, you know. I miss it already."
"Yes, you seemed to go there quite often."
Light was silent for a moment. "And there was that game I played that one night, seated on that felled tree in the clearing that I so enjoyed visiting. Do you think we could play that game together sometime?"
L remembered that day well, of course. He'd seen Light playing chess by himself, bathed in the light of the moon. "We've already played chess once before," he reminded him, "but we can play again if you wish."
Another pause. "I see. Thank you, Ryuzaki."
There was a light rumble in the sky. Thunder.
L shuffled his feet, well aware of the sudden tension, though he wasn't aware of whose side it resonated from. "Shall we sit?" he asked, attempting to slice through the tension-filled air.
Light's back remained to him. "Yeah," he said at last. "I'd like that." He moved slowly, never turning to face L as he reached for one of the two chairs on the balcony and drew it back, sliding into it smoothly. L's eyes locked onto the movement, and almost against his will, he found himself enthralled by the slow, languid motions that Light exhibited as he leaned back in the chair, momentarily stretching his arms above his head before crossing them over his chest, one leg crossing the other at the ankle, knees slightly spread. The sunset outlined him just as it did the rest of the balcony, and L didn't bother trying to be subtle about the way he stared at him. If I keep this up, he'll notice my apparent infatuation and use it against me, L realized. I need to be careful about letting him know too much.
If Light noticed the staring, he didn't say anything. Instead, he reached out one hand to rest on the patio table, tracing the diamond-patterned tiles with a finger.
L moved to the other chair and pulled it out, hopping up onto it in his signature crouch. He glanced across the table at his companion and saw that his head was turned, presenting his profile to the dark, searching eyes of the detective. The sun sank lower.
"You know, Ryuzaki…" Light murmured, "something keeps bothering me."
"And what would that be, Light?"
Those long, pale fingers began to drum against the tile. "My record of Kira's victims."
"What about it?"
Another short pause. Then, "Don't you think the timing was a bit…convenient?"
He'd brought this up before. "Not in particular, no."
"I mean, this whole thing with Kira started about two weeks ago, right? Right before I met you. One day you were just there, and the next you were telling me that I was your suspect. And then you vanished. I know that it was intentional, and I know—or at least strongly suspect—that you did it to throw me off. You thought that I was Kira, and that if you began to apply pressure, I would get nervous and do something to protect myself. But how would you know if I made a move? You would have to have some way of watching me, wouldn't you? That way, if I did something that proved my identity, you would have proof. But if that was what you were trying to do, just having someone see me performing the crime wouldn't be as strong as having it on tape."
L's heart skipped a beat. Had Light analyzed his actions so thoroughly? "Are you suggesting that I had some method of surveillance placed where it would catch your movements?" he asked.
"I'm not suggesting much of anything," was Light's response. "I'm just pointing out how curious it is that your disappearance coincided with the sudden addition of twenty-four names to my record of Kira victims. Names that I did not write." He leaned forward slightly, and now his eyes were locked on L with a fierce determination. The tapping had stopped. "And do you know what else I find interesting? A few days before you mysteriously vanished, Kira's killing patterns changed. Until then, he'd only killed people who had already been sentenced to death. But then, out of the blue, he began killing criminals who had done nothing to deserve their punishment."
"Then, you believe that the criminals who had already been sentenced to death deserved to die?"
Light's expression remained even. All of his previous fire was gone, masked behind a layer of guarded calculation. "For the hundredth time, yes. The justice system had already determined that they were deserving of death, so why should the few days Kira robs them of make any difference? But that's beside the point. My point is this: Kira began killing in a new pattern, you disappeared, and those names appeared in my records all around the same time. Don't you find that a bit strange?"
L very much hoped that Light wasn't beginning to suspect that he was also working as a deliverer of justice. If he managed to put two and two together and figure out that L was the one killing the criminals who didn't deserve death as a part of his attempt to force Kira to take drastic measures. If he did, then he would have a whole other set of problems on his hands. But then again, if Light was Kira, and he figured everything out…wouldn't it be advantageous for L to guide him in using the Death Note for good? He could take the role of mentor and teach the teen everything he knew, keeping him firmly on the path of justice. Of course, L had to consider the fact that if Light was Kira, he hadn't actually done anything wrong just yet (all the criminals he'd killed had already been sentenced to death, as far as he knew)—but the notebook hadn't been wrong yet, and it clearly stated that Kira was evil. Therefore, if Light was Kira, he had a deep wealth of evil lurking within him, even if it was simply lying in wait beneath the surface. Anything could set it off if L didn't step in and save him. But with that being said, he couldn't exactly begin saving Light until he was proven to be Kira—and if Light was Kira, he wouldn't trust L with that information unless the detective proved that he too was working to rid the world of those criminals who had escaped their righteous punishment. L would have to get Light to confess by confessing to him first. But again, this was a problem. If Light wasn't Kira (which was unlikely, in L's opinion) then confessing to him would have serious repercussions. L's reputation could be ruined if someone on the outside knew who he was. He might even be killed if the wrong people got their hands on Light.
So, then—he had to be careful. He couldn't confess to Light until he was certain he was Kira. He couldn't help Light until Light began to help himself.
"Well?" Light asked, and L realized that he'd been silent for several moments.
"Why, yes," L murmured belatedly. "I suppose that is strange. But I assure you, it is entirely a coincidence."
The tapping resumed. "Even if it is a coincidence, the fact still remains that you were watching me."
"I fail to see how you have come to that conclusion," L said sharply. "I can grant you that I was waiting for you to slip up, but you have no proof that I was observing you."
Light's movements ceased entirely, and the next moment he was flashing him a knowing smile through a curtain of amber hair. "On the contrary. You messed up, L."
"How so?"
His smile remained in place as he practically purred, "I never told you that I spent my time in a specific clearing in the forest, Ryuzaki. I told you about the forest, yes, but never about the clearing specifically. And yet you knew what I was talking about."
"I wasn't the one who mentioned the clearing," L reminded him, momentarily relieved. "You brought it up; I simply agreed with what you were saying."
"That's true…" Light murmured, leaning back. "Or, it would be true if not for one, simple oversight. You see, earlier I referenced the day I went to the forest in the middle of the night. You didn't act surprised. This in and of itself suggests that you were watching me, and already knew of my midnight excursion. However, this is not enough to say that you were watching. This is why I referenced the game I played, without ever explicitly stating which game that was. I then suggested that we plan the game some time, to which you responded that we'd already played once before. You couldn't have said that without knowing that I meant chess." He smirked, crossing his arms triumphantly. "Therefore, I can say with almost complete certainty that you were watching me. Of course, this still doesn't tell me whether or not you were watching through cameras. But it's better than nothing, you understand. I had limited resources to work with."
Remarkable…he managed to figure all that out due to a simple slip of the tongue on my part. I'll have to be more careful in the future—with a brain like that, he could figure out what I'm doing at any time. He might already be suspicious. "That is quite impressive," he said at last, keeping the surprise in his voice to a minimum. "I can see that you're not the top student in Japan for nothing."
"No," Light agreed, his smirk deepening. He certainly seemed satisfied with himself. "You'd be surprised with some of the things I've already figured out about you, Ryuzaki."
"Would you care to share any of these things you've discovered?"
The teen turned up his nose. "No, I don't think so. It's the only advantage I have, you understand."
"I do. I will admit to having taken away all of the things you could possibly have used to one-up me. I hate to lose, you understand, and I thought it would be easier if I made it clear that you were going to lose right from the beginning. I've left no room for negotiation between us."
"No," Light agreed, smirk immediately vanishing from his face, a somber expression appearing in its place. "You certainly seem the domineering type."
L shot his companion a toothy grin. "You've got that right." Then he paused, wondering why he'd said it. Why he'd smiled. Wasn't it more like him to deny the obvious and hide behind his subtlety? It had to be Light…he was why this was happening. Something about the teen always managed to throw him out of character, much to his chagrin.
Light looked away again. His fingertips returned to the table, but he didn't resume his tapping. "Do you know what else I suspect?" he asked softly. "I suspect that you're working for L."
A pang of panic shot through L momentarily before he managed to calm himself. It's okay, he thought, he doesn't know…it's just a suspicion, and he doesn't even think that you're L. He just thinks that you're working for him. "What makes you think that?"
"Mostly, it's just a hunch. But there is some evidence. For example, you're probably the most socially inept person I've ever met. It's like you've never been outside on your own, preferring to stick to the shadows and solve your little cases. And your caretaker…he seems to take care of you, and yet he takes orders from you. Everyone knows that L has someone like that at his side. And what's more, there's the unconventional methods you've been using. You ransacked my house without any sort of warrant, you've kept me bound to a bed for hours, and if I'm right, you've had me under surveillance. You could only get away with something like that if you worked for someone very powerful—someone able to duck the law whenever it suits him. There are other people who could do something like that, obviously. But then there remains the fact that you had those lines from The Scarlet Letter, the ones that Kira left as a direct message to L. Again, it's possible that you could have found the message through other means. But it's far more likely that you're working for L. It's not a perfect theory, but it works."
"You…have made some excellent points, Light."
"But am I right? Are you working for L?"
Hmm…what to say? Would it be better to let Light believe that he was working for L, or would it be better to tell him that there was no relation between the two?
"Or perhaps," Light murmured when L took a moment too long to respond, "you areL. Ever think of that, Ryuzaki?"
Damage control! Perform damage control! "I am not L," L lied. "You should know that L never shows his face. There's no way he would deign to appear in the midst of such a dangerous case. But I will grant you that I work for him, at least to some extent."
L didn't like the look in Light's eyes. It was almost star-struck, entirely too admiring. Was it possible that the teen was infatuated with the idea of L? If so, could L use that to his advantage?
The teen asked, "L knows of me, then? Is he the one that suspects me?"
"I am the one that suspects you. I am the one who drew L's attention to you in the first place. Without me, he never would have noticed you."
Was that disappointment in Light's eyes? "Ryuzaki, I know this is probably an exasperating question for you to have to answer, but…what's he like?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"I don't know, it's just…" He trailed off momentarily, stars in his eyes that reminded L far too much of Matsuda. "I've always loved solving cases, and so to me, his work was like a template of what I needed to do to become great." His eyes momentarily dipped to his lap in an uncharacteristic sign of bashfulness. "I've always had this dream where I finally joined the NPA and got to work with him on a case."
L knew just by the far-off look in Light's eyes that the teen was sharing something very personal with him. It was confusing, to say the least. Why would Light place any sort of faith in him, confide in him in any way? How very puzzling. "You are very competent. I'm sure that had you joined the NPA, he would have taken notice of you sooner or later."
"Yeah…" Light looked away slowly. "I hope you're right."
L studied the teen's face closely. He longed to lean forward, to grip Light by the jaw and force him to stare into his eyes. Then, maybe, he would proclaim I am L, and watch that admiration bloom across the amber depths. Would Light admire him as much if he knew that L was the person sitting across from him, staring at him through cold, dark eyes? L hoped that he would. He wanted to see those amber pools light up with fire, burning for him and him alone—no matter how eerily possessive such a thing sounded.
The sun had dipped below the horizon, casting the two geniuses into shadow. The tiny light bulb by the door did little to illuminate the large balcony.
L shifted, beginning to get to his feet. But a moment later, a soft voice stopped him.
"Don't. Please, not yet."
L fell back into his seat without having consciously moved. "It's late," he reminded the teen. "And your hair is still wet. You could get sick in this cold weather." Dear god, he sounded like a worried mother.
The smile that Light displayed was genuine and kind, much unlike his smug smirk from earlier. "I like the cold," he informed the detective. "And I can handle the chance of getting sick. Who knows when you'll let me be outside like this again?"
The detective felt an immediate pang of guilt, much akin to the one he'd felt when he'd realized that he'd forgotten to feed Light breakfast and give him water. "I can't make a habit of it, but I can promise that you'll be allowed outside sometimes, at least."
"That's what I thought," Light sighed wearily. "Ryuzaki, tell me the truth…how long do you intend to hold me?"
He had to be honest about this, at least. "I cannot hold you longer than two years." He could have reminded Light that there was the possibility hat he would be released at the end of the third day, but he did not, for there wasn't really a possibility of that happening at all. The twenty-four criminals would die soon, and L would have all the leverage he needed to keep Light indefinitely.
He waited for the implosion, for the yelling, for the screaming, for the rage—but Light didn't respond immediately. And when he did, he simply shrugged, leaning his head on one hand. "All the more reason to enjoy this outing while I have it."
L felt his expression twist painfully. "Light…"
"No, Ryuzaki," the teen murmured. "I don't want you to apologize. You won't mean it."
The darker part of L loved the way Light was staring out over the skyline, eyes masked with indescribable pain at the prospect of spending two years at L's side. But the lighter part, the one that was currently making an appearance, wanted very much to pull Light close and tell him that it would be okay, that even if he was Kira, he would help him the best he could. But in reality he said nothing, did nothing, and Light spoke no further.
They sat together for hours, until the chill became too much to take. They sat so long that L's fingers became numb, and Light was taken by a violent fit of shivers. The moon was high in the sky, hanging ominously overhead, when L finally got to his feet. He looked over at Light, whose eyelids were drooping as he attempted to stay awake. He glanced up at L wearily when he moved, but said nothing. He too knew that they had to return to his prison.
L stumbled slightly when he got to his feet, surprised at just how numb his toes were. He clenched his fists and found that his fingers were in much the same state. His head immediately snapped to Light, who didn't seem to be reacting to anything around him. He was momentarily concerned that the teen had contracted something as dire as frostbite, but he shooed away the fear a moment later as he realized that the teen wasn't displaying any symptoms. Most likely, he was simply tired.
The detective moved to Light's side and vaguely gestured for him to rise, not wishing to speak and break the silence that consumed them. Light didn't respond. And so L, giving in to a desire he'd had since Light's fall shortly before their shower, leaned down and scooped him up. The teen didn't fight. He didn't lean into L either—he simply stayed where he was, cradled impassively against the detective's chest. L, keeping his suspect tucked against him, moved for the door. He opened it and stepped inside, then closed and locked the door behind him. It was stiflingly warm inside the bedroom—or perhaps that was just a sign of how cold L had gotten. Light shivered slightly in his arms, though his eyes remained glossed over. He didn't react to L carrying him to the bed. He didn't react to the detective returning him to the chains. He didn't react when L collapsed into the bed beside him, feeling, for the second time in as many days, the desire to sleep for a few hours. He kept himself away from Light for a moment, telling himself that he couldn't stomach a repeat of the previous night's dream. If he stayed away from his suspect, then it was less likely that he'd dream about him in that way. But then he glanced over and saw Light, violently shivering despite his insistence that he liked and could handle the cold. The shivering was already beginning to subside, his eyes were already closed, his breathing was already steadying—but he was still shaking slightly, and when L reached over and pressed his fingertips to the teen's arm, he felt that he was cold as ice.
He'll warm up beneath the sheets, L told himself as he inched slightly closer. He won't be in any danger, he thought as he draped one arm gingerly over his waist. I should keep my distance, he insisted as he pressed himself to Light's side.
He yawned. Light wasn't awake to reject him any more. It was nice, and warmer than it would have been if L had simply rolled over and ignored the teen. He liked it. A lot. Good, he thought sleepily, fighting back another yawn. I'm sure I won't have that dream again…I'm sure I'll be fine if I just…stay…here…
And with that, L drifted of to sleep, completely and blissfully unaware that Light was awake, and that had the detective looked up, he would have seen a delicate blush coloring his cheeks.
I liked writing this chapter, even if it was a just a transition. Oh, and just to clear up whatever confusion there might be about this, I'm writing L as a complete jerk for a reason. He's acting very poorly right now, but soon it's going to be obvious why I'm making him so unlikable.
Thanks for sticking with me so far, and be sure to leave me a review if you've enjoyed! Hopefully this chapter's reviews will show up normally, and I'll be able to respond to all of them as usual.