Chapter 13 The Ordeal.

As the days progressed, Virginia came out of her shell. She was no longer the meek wounded animal. That had been replaced by a brave, intelligent, funny, kind young woman. Doc Collyer was both surprised and pleased how much her demeanor had changed.

In the meantime, Buttons had whelped two fine, roly-poly little puppies and the bay mare had foaled- a fine chestnut colt. Most of the pregnant cows had calved leaving Jess and me free to do other of the never-ending chores around the ranch.

Ginny spent most of her time with the little colt and his mother. She seemed to have a rapport with both. In the corral, they both walked up to her wanting scratches and treats. The little colt showed off his spunk by running and bucking all around his mother. Ginny smiled at his antics. It was the first genuine smile we'd seen on her face. It made me smile, too.

Several days after her talk with Jess, I looked around and noticed that she wasn't in the yard, the corral or the barn. I checked with Daisy who hadn't seen her and she wasn't in her room. I stepped outside, worried she may have fooled us again about ending her life. Then I spotted her sitting halfway up the hill behind the corral. I was relieved- and curious as to why she would be there. I made my way to her and sat down beside her.

She looked at me thoughtfully; but I couldn't tell what she was feeling. Her face was a mask.

Looking back at the ranch sprawled out before us, she said, "You have a beautiful place here, Slim."

"Thank you."

It was a long while before she spoke again. She looked down at her still-bandaged wrists, "I don't have anything, anymore." It was a matter-of-fact statement, emotionless.

I wanted to speak but something held me still.

"Whatever I had was taken from me by those men. My mother, father, Tory, Sissy…it's all gone; they're all gone."

I kept silent.

She looked at me, "Did you know the doctor told me that I probably can't have children?"

I shook my head, sadness mixed with anger, "No, I didn't know."

She looked back at the ranch, "they took that from me too."

She snorted sarcastically, "That, at least, is one thing I'm glad they took."

"What?" I was very surprised by her words. Most women I knew, all wanted children. Many of them would be devastated to hear that kind of news. Virginia was actually glad?

"I'm glad I can't have children. Who would want to bring a child into this kind of world? Where a person could lose everything they love-all at once? Where…where the unspeakable can happen… to you, and to the ones you love? Where the ones who did this are free to do it again? Why would someone bring a life into that kind of world?"

I swallowed hard but I was speechless; I couldn't reply. I wanted to tell her that her tormenters would soon be caught but the words wouldn't form.

After another pregnant pause, she smiled wryly and looked up at the sky, "You know, at first, I prayed to God to send a rescuer. Someone who could take us away from those awful men. But that never happened. When they would leave, I prayed that something would happen to them, that they would get captured or injured… or killed. That didn't happen either. They always came back."

She sighed and looked at me, her eyes full of pain and tears, "Then I prayed that He would end our suffering! That He would take us where there was no more pain… especially after Sissy was…" Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks, glistening in the sun. She absently rubbed her wrists. "How I prayed for death. For each of us, especially Tory and Sissy! All He did was prolong our misery! Tory and Sissy finally died at the hands of those men. I was left to endure the pain of their loss and the loss of Mama and Papa! What god would allow that to happen?"

She looked at me, tears streaming. I shook my head. I had no answer for her.

She composed herself, sniffing, wiping the tears from her eyes. She looked back at the ranch, "Did you know we tried to escape?"

I shook my head wordlessly.

"Three times, we escaped. I prayed to God each time that they wouldn't find us. But each time, they caught us; and dragged us back to that miserable place."

"When they found us and brought us back, they tied Tory's hands and mine with rope, stripped us and hung us from the rafters in the barn by our hands so our feet could barely touch the ground with the tips of our toes."

Her voice broke, "They would put their… hands…all over us. Then they would…put…things…"she squeezed her eyes shut and shivered involuntarily, "they would…laugh at us. God! It hurt so much! I can remember screaming and screaming and them laughing and laughing! I can remember my arms felt like they were being ripped off my shoulders. I- I couldn't catch my breath."

Tears were pouring down her face now, she began hugging herself and rocking. "Tory screamed and screamed. They made Sissy watch and she was shrieking and crying for us.

They eventually got bored with that and found a new…game." She grimaced. "What they did…to us is too horrible to describe. After…they finished 'punishing' Tory and me, they'd whip us…with… whatever they could find. Bridle reins, pieces of leather, rope, whatever. They enjoyed causing us pain and fear. They enjoyed it, Slim!"

I shuddered involuntarily, recalling the frayed ropes and leather pieces I'd seen scattered about in the old barn. I remembered the two ropes hung over the rafters.

"The second time we escaped and they brought us back, they amused themselves hanging us and playing their 'game'. Then they whipped us and then burned us with their cigarettes and sticks they had put in the fire. I think by that time Tory was close to dying. We both stopped screaming. I don't think they liked that."

"The last time, when they dragged us back, they whipped us and cut us with broken whiskey bottles. Then they poured whiskey down our backs into the cuts. I couldn't catch my breath it hurt so much! But I was through screaming. Through giving them the satisfaction of seeing me afraid. Tory was too weak to do anything but whimper when they poured that stuff down her back. Sissy just sat beside us rocking."

Several of them got mad because we weren't crying and screaming. They wanted to whip us again. But their boss, he didn't let them. He put us in that miserable hut without any clothes on. It was so cold!

Tory was so weak. I held her in my arms. She…she died that night."

I winced and swallowed, my heart was pounding and my chest tightened. The lump in my throat was aching so badly! I was trembling but I tried to hide it from her. Not sure if I succeeded.

"I prayed to God! Oh, how I prayed! I prayed for Him to take us! I prayed for Him to kill them! I prayed for a rescue! I prayed for an escape! I prayed for a miracle! But no rescue came. No miracle. I stopped believing in God. I only believe in Hell."

I swallowed hard again. I wanted to put my arms around her, protect her, to tell her it would be all right. Words failed me. My arms felt like lead. I could feel that all the blood had drained from my face. All I could do was sit and listen, dumbfounded, to this horror she was describing.

She looked at me, her eyes full of pain, "Once, I thought about killing Sissy, Tory and myself."

"I had it all planned out- I would smother them in their sleep and then find a way to hang myself. But I couldn't go through with it! I was a coward."

"Then one of the nights… just before you came. That was when…when," she shut her eyes tightly again. "When Sissy was..."

Virginia put her hands to her ears and rocked. "They chained me up just out of reach. Sissy screamed so loud! He…he made me watch! I begged him to stop!

When it was… over, Sissy just stared at me with tears on her sweet face. She had blood all over her. I cleaned her up best I could. I put her little blue dress back on her to keep her warm." A small smile played on Virginia's lips. "She loved that dress. Blue was her favorite color." The smile faded. "All I could do was…" her voice was barely audible, "All I could do was hold her. She died in my arms just like Tory."

Another long pause. I couldn't breathe. Melissa's beautiful face flashed in my mind. She died cruelly; brutally tortured- a ten year old little girl. I swallowed to fight back the tears now burning in my eyes.

"When rescue finally came," she looked at me, "it was too late! Tory and Sissy were dead. And I was left alive with less than nothing! Nothing but…," she slumped her shoulders, defeated, "nothing. My heart was ripped out, there was nothing left. No family…" her voice caught in her throat and a small sob escaped…"Nothing!" She looked down at empty hands.

She laughed humorlessly, "A cruel, sick joke on me. All I wanted to do was keep them alive. Instead I'm the only one left. God sure has a sick sense of humor."

My emotions were in turmoil; the knot in my throat ached so bad, I thought it would break through my neck. I felt my eyes burning as I fought back overwhelming sadness. I now understood what the doctor meant by her having no control. I now understood why someone would take their life. It was inconceivable the torment, humiliation that these three children endured for days, weeks!

After several minutes, I tried to control my voice but it broke. All I could muster was a weak, hoarse, "I'm so sorry, Ginny. I'm so sorry we didn't get there in time."

We sat silently looking out over the ranch. She had returned to hugging herself and rocking; her face unreadable. I was reflecting on what she had just shared with me, my thoughts whirled; my emotions raw.

After sitting a long time, she finally said, "It wasn't your fault, Slim. It was mine. I couldn't protect them. I couldn't save them." She rose and walked down to the ranch. I saw her pick up the calico kitten and go inside the house.

I sat there for another hour trying to sort out what I was feeling. I wanted to run. I wanted my hands around each and every throat of those jackals. I wanted to take Virginia in my arms and hold her until she felt safe again. I wanted Victoria and Melissa to come bounding down the hill, hale and hearty. I wanted to crawl out of my own skin.

I went back down to the ranch. I needed to do something, anything, to clear my head. I started chopping wood. My eyes stung and at first swinging the ax felt like lifting a hundred pounds. The first few swings I missed the piece of wood entirely. The ax landed with a THUD into the chopping block.

After a couple of hours, though, I had enough wood and kindling to last for at least a couple weeks. The turmoil I felt inside hadn't eased one bit; it was right there in my chest, I could almost taste it.

Jess returned. He saw that most of what I had planned to do that day had been left undone. I was still working the ax. The chopped wood and kindling was piling up all around me.

"Hey there Pard! Ya plannin' on buildin' a bonfire?" He was teasing but one look at my appearance and his face turned serious. His brow furrowed and that eyebrow of his turned upward.

"What's wrong, Pard?"

About that time, Daisy came out of the kitchen door. She looked at the pile of wood around me. "Land sakes, Slim! I think we have enough wood!" When she looked at my face the smile left hers, "What's the matter?"

"Daisy, where's Ginny?"

"I just checked on her. She's asleep. That little calico kitten is curled up beside her and..."

I motioned to them both, "Come with me." We made our way to the barn.

I ran my fingers through my hair, pacing, and I summarized what Ginny had told me on the hill.

They were horror-struck! Neither of them said anything for several minutes. Both of them had to sit down, not trusting their legs to hold them up. Daisy sat on the milking stool; Jess, on a bale of hay. Both of them were drained of blood in the face.

Daisy finally found her voice, "how could…how could people be that cruel?"

Jess' head was bowed, "Slim, what are you leaving out?"

I sighed, "Not a whole lot, Jess, except the doc told her she probably couldn't have children."

Daisy's hand went to her mouth. Tears were flowing freely down her face.

I ran my hand through my hair again and paced. "She's right. She has nothing! They took away her family, her innocence, her…her faith. I'm not sure I know how to help her!"

I felt Daisy's gentle hand on my arm, "Oh Slim, you've already helped her. More than you'll ever know."

"How, Daisy? I didn't do anything! I couldn't say anything to make it right- to make her feel better! I just sat there dumb. I wanted to help her but I couldn't move. I felt like a post. How am I supposed to help her if I don't know what I'm doing?" My tone was harsher than I wanted. I was frustrated; angry more at myself.

"You help her by being there, listening to her. You don't have to say anything or do anything except listen."

I finally sat down on a hay bale. "I'm not sure I can do this, Daisy. The things she has gone through-they are so hard to hear! It's not proper for her to say this to me."

"Slim Sherman!" Daisy said sternly, "If it's so hard for you to hear, imagine how hard it was for her to tell you! We are strangers to her! That she shared any part of her ordeal with you shows how greatly she trusts you! Forget what is proper, she needs your help!"

I hadn't considered that. "Why would she trust me, Daisy? You're a woman! Looks like she would confide in you before she would confide in Jess…or me."

"That isn't what's bothering you, is it, Slim?" Daisy was keen as ever.

"No," finally surrendering to my real frustration. "Why would she trust me when…when…" I couldn't get the words out.

"When what, Slim," Jess finally spoke.

"When I was too late to save her sisters? We got there too late! She had prayed to be rescued; but I got there too late! She should blame me for not being there in time!"

Daisy was astonished, "Why should she blame you, Slim? You did the best you could! You saved her! You gave her sisters a decent burial! Why should she blame you?"

An image of Melissa with her white-blond hair and blue dress appeared unbidden before my eyes. Guilt and grief overwhelmed me! "Because I blame myself! I wasn't there in time to save that little girl!" I put my head in my hands, defeated.

Daisy and Jess came over and knelt beside me. "Slim, that wasn't your fault!" Daisy said gently. "There was no way you could have known they were there!"

"She was so tiny, Daisy! I held her in my arms…she was so beautiful! She was the same age as Mike, Daisy! She hadn't even begun to live! I wasn't there in time to save her! In time to give her the life she deserved!"

"But that wasn't your fault, Slim!" Jess gripped my shoulder.

"I see her every night, Jess. I can't forget her face! How she looked! What they did to her!"

Daisy put her arms around me, "Slim, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize how much this had affected you, too!"

Jess looked at her, "What do you mean, Daisy?

"In some ways, Slim is going through a similar ordeal as Ginny. You saw horrors no normal person should see. It's only natural that you would be affected by it."

"But I only saw them Daisy; Ginny lived through them…"

"That doesn't matter Slim. It had an emotional impact on you. You have to take some time to deal with what you saw… and what you heard."

"In many ways," she continued, "this part of Ginny's healing is affecting us too. Not as much as her; but it is definitely impacting us, in ways we haven't foreseen. Perhaps we should ask the doctor what to do about it."

I was reluctant, "Do we really need the doc?"

"Well, I think it would be wise to inform him," Daisy said, "especially after what she just shared with you. And what you shared with us. He might at least tell us what we can do."

I sighed, still trembling from my emotions. I knew Daisy would get her way one way or another, "I'll send word with the stage that we want to see him."

"Thanks Slim. Now, you come inside and have a cup of coffee. Jess can stack the wood for us."

"What?" Jess said, gaping at the pile I'd created.

I was exhausted. Jess and Daisy let me sleep well past sunup the next morning. I barely made it up in time to help with the morning stage.

Jess and I stayed around the house. He finished stacking the woodpile I created. I was mending the second corral fence. It felt good to be working- to be doing something physical. I didn't have to think.

Virginia, emotionally drained, had slept through supper and breakfast the next morning. She ate a bite of lunch and took a walk on the Old Laramie Road. Jess and I cautioned her about not going too far. I was worried that she might try suicide again after talking about her ordeal. I was holding on to the hope that she wanted Justice more than she wanted to die.

That afternoon, Doc Collyer pulled up in his buggy. The three of us and the doctor sat around the kitchen table drinking coffee. I again recapped what Virginia had relayed to me. Daisy chimed in once in a while and once I was finished, she explained how much I was affected by what I'd seen and heard.

Doc Collyer listened to every word without interruption. His face changed expression from concern to horror and back again. He, too, paled listening to the tale I weaved for him.

When we finished. He was silent for a very long time, gathering his thoughts. "I-I'm so sorry. I had no idea. My God!"

For a long time that was all he said. He sat at the table, ignoring his coffee; his fingers steepled and his thumbs on the bridge of his nose, his eyes closed.

After a few minutes, he opened his eyes and cleared his throat, "Daisy, if you'll gather up her belongings, I'll take her back to town with me."

Daisy looked upset, "Why would you take her back with you?"

"I can't ask you three and Mike to endure her pain."

"Whatcha mean, Doc?" Jess asked.

"I mean had I known this was what she experienced, I would have taken her back with me when she was able and sought some professional help for her!"

Daisy looked at Doctor Collyer, "What would they have been able to do?"

Doctor Collyer ran his fingers through his hair, "I don't know, Miss Daisy. Like I said we're only just beginning to understand how the brain works."

"And where would you have taken her?"

"Well most of the professionals work in sanitariums…"

Daisy looked shocked, "An asylum?"

"Well, yes. They would be better equipped…"

"NO!" she said sternly. "Absolutely not! You will NOT put that poor girl in an asylum!"

"But Miss Daisy…"

"Don't 'Miss Daisy' me, doctor. She is not going anywhere! She is staying right here!"

"But she needs professional care, Miss Daisy…"

"And she's getting it, doctor! She is just beginning to trust us enough to talk about her ordeal. She is getting the support she needs right here!"

"But look how it has affected you already, Miss Daisy! Especially Slim."

"And we are supporting each other, doctor. As a family should! We lean on each other. Work out problems together. She couldn't find any place better to deal with her suffering. We will support her just like she was a member of our family!"

Daisy's stern face brooked no argument. Virginia was staying whether the doctor liked it or not.

"Alright! Alright!" Doc Collyer surrendered. "What can I do to help?"

"Nothing at the moment, doctor," Daisy was still angry with him. "If we need you we'll call."

He sighed. "I'll see if I can contact a professional and maybe he can offer some advice?"

"Hmph!" Daisy replied.

Doc Collyer saw he couldn't get any further with Daisy. He looked at Jess and me. We just shrugged. We knew she wasn't about to budge.

He sighed resignedly and got up from the table. "Well, I'll be on my way, then. Thanks for the coffee."

Daisy's expression softened as we escorted the doctor to his rig, "Thank you Doctor Collyer for stopping by. We really do appreciate your input. But right now she'll be staying here. Sorry for my outburst."

Doc smiled at her after he climbed into the seat. "Not at all, Miss Daisy. I can understand how you feel toward the girl. I'll be back soon to remove the stitches from her wrists."

He turned his rig around and headed back to Laramie.