Okay, so since I couldn't decide whether to do Valentine's Day or a snow day next, I decided to go with Career Day. I've never had the opportunity to do a career day in school, so if I get some stuff wrong, sorry!
These will be divided into mini-stories. New characters! Oh, should I keep Cassiopeia evil or do you guys want her to be nice for once?
Please read the stuff at the bottom, too, because I didn't wanna put all this weight on your shoulders right away!
CHAPTER 13
It was freezing cold outside and the kids were stuck inside with their teachers.
Today was Monday and all the kids looked incredibly reluctant to start school, even though this was the second week back since break.
"Good morning, class," said Ms. Psyche.
"Good morning, Ms. Psyche," the class said in a monotone.
"I have some exciting news for you!" Ms. Psyche said, putting her attendance sheet down and looking at her class. "Whose parents here go to work?"
All of the kids raised their hands.
"Does everyone know what they do?" asked Ms. Danaë.
"My daddy works as a builder," said Jason. "So he builds stuff all day."
"That's nice," said Ms. Psyche. "Who else? Makaria?"
"Daddy works with dead people and Mommy works with flowers," said Makaria quickly.
"Well, I'm sure all of your parents love their jobs," said Ms. Psyche. "So that's why on Friday, there won't be any school. We want you to go to work with your parents for Career Day!"
"YAY!" the class cheered.
"Excellent! Can you all do me a favor, though? I need your parents to sign this permission form so that we know where you're going," said Ms. Psyche.
Ms. Danaë handed out the permission forms to the students. "Why don't all of you put them into your cubbies? When you go home, you can tell Mommy and Daddy about it."
When dismissal time came, everyone was talking about Career Day with their parents.
"Daddy, can I go with you?" asked Theseus.
Aegeus was a very successful lawyer, and he had to think about this one. Theseus was a good kid at heart, but Aegeus didn't know if Theseus would be up to such a long day of sitting and listening to a bunch of arguing.
"Let's ask Mommy," said Aegeus. (Aethra was a stay-at-home mom.)
When they got home, Theseus showed the permission form to his mother. "Can I go, Mommy?"
"Sure, sweetheart. But that means when you're with Daddy, you need to behave yourself," Aethra said firmly.
"Okay," Theseus vowed. "I promise."
Meanwhile, Bellerophon was riding his pretend horse around the living room while Glaucus and Eurynome looked at the permission slip.
"I guess he could come see stuff at the observatory with me," said Glaucus. "Bellerophon, if you come with me to the observatory, will you break stuff?"
"No," said Bellerophon."
"Okay. He's good to go."
So that Friday, all the students woke up and got ready to go to work with their parents.
APHRODITE'S SALON AND SPA
"Andromeda, you better hurry up and eat your eggs," Cassiopeia said. "We're going to be late."
"Mommy, eggs give me a tummy ache," said Andromeda.
Cepheus was sitting at the table reading the paper and trying to ignore the argument.
"Then eat your waffle," snapped Cassiopeia.
"You guys know that creep who lives down the street from us?" said Cepheus. "He won his case last night and now he's filthy rich!"
"Aegeus won?" asked Cassiopeia.
"Yep," said Cepheus. "I'm glad Andromeda likes Perseus and not Theseus. That kid's always causing trouble."
Andromeda took a few bites of her small waffle before pushing her plate away. "All done. Time to work."
"Go upstairs and get ready," said Cassiopeia. "We're running behind now."
"Cassiopeia, calm down," Cepheus said, throwing his paper on the table. "You'll be fine. C'mon, Dromie. Let's go pick out a pretty dress."
Cepheus was used to helping Andromeda get ready in the mornings because Cassiopeia was a selfish bitch and only cared about herself. So he always asked Andromeda what she wanted to wear that day. Andromeda had a rule, though: to wear dresses on nice days and to wear play clothes to preschool.
Andromeda and Cepheus headed into Andromeda's room. Cepheus went to her closet and pulled out a pretty dress. "Arms up, princess," he said.
Andromeda lifted her arms and Cepheus put the dress over her body. Then he helped her brush her teeth and get her hair done. By the time Cepheus put a beautiful, white bow in her hair, Cassiopeia was knocking on the door to the bathroom.
"Ready?" she barked.
"Yes, Mommy," said Andromeda.
Cassiopeia put Andromeda into the car seat and strapped her in. Then she pulled out of the garage and sped down the street.
"Mommy, can we sing a song together?" asked Andromeda.
"Later," Cassiopeia said. "We're almost there."
They'd just pulled into the parking lot when Cassiopeia rounded on her daughter. "Now, listen, Andromeda," she snarled. "If I hear a snotty comment from you at all today, I'll have to punish you by not letting you eat till tomorrow."
"I wanna go to work with Daddy," Andromeda huffed.
"Shut. Up," snapped Cassiopeia. "Dammit, I'm late!" She pulled Andromeda out of the car and ran into Aphrodite's Salon and Spa.
"You're late," said Aphrodite, giggling behind the counter. "Oh, that's right! It's Career Day!"
"Hi," said Cassiopeia. "You remember Andromeda, right?"
"Oh, who dressed you?" asked Aphrodite. "Did Mommy do that?"
"No. Mommy doesn't like putting me in clothes, so Daddy does it." Andromeda gave Aphrodite a pretty smile.
"Cassiopeia, she's adorable," said Aphrodite, pinching Andromeda's cheeks.
"She can be when she's not annoying me," said Cassiopeia. "Who's first today?"
"Oh. My daughter-in-law, Psyche," said Aphrodite. She gestured to Psyche, who was sitting in the waiting area, flipping through a magazine.
"Who's after her?" asked Cassiopeia.
"Danaë," said Aphrodite. "And then you have Aethra and Clymene."
"And then?" Cassiopeia asked, bracing herself.
"Then you have a lunch break," said Aphrodite. "Then this dude named Phineas would like to dye his hair blond."
"Why can't he do that?" snapped Cassiopeia.
"Because he likes being pampered to death," Aphrodite snapped. "Plus he gives us money."
Cassiopeia sighed and glanced at Psyche. "You ready, Psycho?"
"Psyche," Psyche said patiently.
"Hi, Ms. Psyche," Andromeda squealed.
"Hi, Andromeda," said Psyche, bending down to give Andromeda a hug. "Are you going to be a big helper for Mommy?"
"Yep," giggled Andromeda. "I wanna make everyone look like a princess!"
"Stop with the princess stuff," snapped Cassiopeia. "Psyche, sit down in the chair and lean your head all the way back until it's in the sink."
Psyche sat down in the chair and Cassiopeia put an apron on her. Psyche leaned back until her head was in the sink. Cassiopeia turned on the water and began washing her hair.
"Ms. Psyche," said Andromeda, "where's Hedone?"
"Hedone's with Mr. Eros," said Psyche. "She's helping him with some family therapy stuff today."
"We gots family problems," said Andromeda boldly. "Maybe we could see Mr. Eros."
"Don't be stupid," snapped Cassiopeia, turning the water off. "We don't have family problems."
"Yeah we do!" screamed Andromeda. "All you do is yell at me!"
Good thing Psyche brought a book with her.
"Ms. Psyche, tell Mommy that we do have family problems," said Andromeda.
"Do you want a night in the garage?"
"No."
"Then shush."
The bell rang over the door and they heard Aphrodite's squealy voice. "Hi, Danaë," said Aphrodite. "Is Perseus doing Career Day with Dictys today?"
"Yep," said Danaë.
"Can I get you anything to drink?" asked Aphrodite.
"Uh…water would be awesome," said Danaë.
Aphrodite gave her a glass of water and asked her to sit while Cassiopeia finished Psyche's hair. Psyche had gotten blond highlights that day and Cassiopeia was almost done putting all sorts of tin foil in Psyche's hair.
"Okay, we're done for now," said Cassiopeia. "Have a seat in the waiting area and I'll check on you in a while."
Psyche nodded and headed for the waiting area.
"Ms. Danaë!" Andromeda laughed, running towards her other teacher. "I'm helping Mommy today."
"Are you doing a good job?" asked Danaë.
"Yes," said Andromeda.
"Excellent," said Danaë, giving her a thumbs-up.
"Andromeda," said Cassiopeia, "I need to get Aethra started. Could you wash Ms. Danaë's hair for me?"
"I'm three, Mommy," Andromeda replied.
"Ugh, fine." Cassiopeia washed Danaë's hair really fast before going over to Aethra and doing the same thing.
Danaë and Andromeda stared at the crazy Cassiopeia for a while before Andromeda broke the ice. "Ms. Danaë, your hair is so pretty when it's wet."
"Thanks, hon."
"Where did Perseus go today?" Andromeda questioned.
"He went with Mr. Dictys to the fish store," Danaë replied.
"Oh." Andromeda didn't really know what people bought at the fish store, but it sounded pretty boring to her. "How 'bout you, Ms. Aethra?"
"Theseus went to court with Mr. Aegeus," Aethra replied as Cassiopeia was doing her hair.
"That sounds cool," said Andromeda.
Aphrodite walked over to Andromeda. "Would you like me to do your nails?"
"Oh boy! Mommy, can she do my nails?"
Cassiopeia nodded.
"Yay! I gets to look like a pretty princess!"
While Andromeda was getting pampered, Cassiopeia was enjoying the quiet because she found her own kid annoying. Seriously? If she doesn't like her daughter, then why did she have a kid in the first place?
Before Cassiopeia knew it, it was time for lunch. She'd forgotten to pack something for Andromeda, so now she was screwed. Maybe she'll forget, she thought.
"Mommy! Lookit me! I'm a pretty princess!" Andromeda yelled. "Ms. Aphrodite's really good at painting nails and stuff!" Andromeda ran to Cassiopeia, showing off her pink nail polish.
"Well, they look nice," said Cassiopeia.
Andromeda's belly rumbled. "Uh…is it lunchtime yet?"
"Um…hmm," said Cassiopeia. "Maybe it is. But I forgot to pack something for you."
Andromeda started to sob. "You're so mean!"
Cassiopeia took out her phone and called Cepheus. "Yeah, hi. Andromeda's being very naughty today. Please come get her and take her home."
"Seriously?" snapped Cepheus. "I'm at the bar, where I bartend and stuff!"
"Uh-huh," said Cassiopeia.
Cepheus arrived a few minutes later. "Princess, were you being a bad girl?"
"No," sobbed Andromeda. "Mommy didn't maked me a lunch today, Daddy."
Cepheus picked up his daughter and took her home, where he fed her.
Meanwhile, Phineas walked into the salon. "Cassiopeia!" he smiled at her. "How's Cepheus doing?"
"Your brother's fine," said Cassiopeia. "We're having a bit of an issue today with your niece Andromeda."
"That sucks," said Phineas. "I've come for my hair appointment."
"Yeah," said Aphrodite. "Cassiopeia's ready."
Meanwhile, Andromeda was having a nice day with Cepheus. They played princess castle for a bit before they played Write Mean Notes to Mommy on the Family Whiteboard and Erase Them Before She Comes Home.
"Okay, baby girl," said Cepheus after he wrote MOMMY'S A BITCH all over the whiteboard. "Let's get you ready for naptime."
Andromeda, who'd had a long and hard day today, decided not to argue (she was prone to arguing when she was napping at home). So she took her father's hand and walked with him up the stairs, where she fell asleep.
I SEE THE MOON!
Bellerophon was going to work today with Glaucus, who was a successful astronomer, along with Helios.
"So Helios and Phaethon will be there, too," said Glaucus. "So try not to break anything, okay?"
"Daddy, what if I accidentally do something?" asked Bellerophon.
"Then we have a problem, dude," said Glaucus. "C'mon. Let's get you strapped in."
While they were driving to work, they sang songs about the sun, because those were the only space songs Glaucus could think of.
"Hey, guys!" Helios said, pulling Phaethon out of the car. Phaethon looked a little green, but he swallowed a few times and his color returned to normal. "Let's go inside!"
The observatory was big…really big. Bellerophon and Phaethon practically never shut their mouths as their parents took them to the office part.
"Okay, Phaethon," said Helios. "Play with that model of the sun while I do something on the computer."
"You gonna look at naked girls again?" asked Phaethon.
"No," snapped Helios. "And if you tell that to Mommy, I won't be your friend anymore. Now sit down and be quiet."
Phaethon looked at all the stuff around Helios' office. There were walls of pictures that looked like bouncy balls floating in the sky. Then he saw a picture of Mommy and Daddy holding him as a baby.
"Daddy," said Bellerophon from the next cubical, "is this the sun?"
"No, kiddo. That's Jupiter. It's the biggest planet."
"What's a planet?"
"Helios, you done with the picture?" called Glaucus. "These kids are acting bored."
"Yep. Just finished," Helios replied cheerfully. He emailed the picture to Glaucus and took Phaethon's hand. "Boys, you guys wanna see something totally awesome?"
"Sure," said the boys.
"Okay!"
Helios and Glaucus led the two boys to the biggest telescope in the world…ever! Helios pressed a few buttons and the telescope went into focus. Glaucus lifted Bellerophon up to the eyepiece and asked him what he saw.
"I see a big bouncy ball floating there," said Bellerophon.
"Do you know what that is?" asked Glaucus.
"No," said Bellerophon.
"That's the moon," said Helios.
"Cool!" Bellerophon yelled with delight.
"Is it made of cheese?" asked Phaethon.
"No," said Bellerophon, "but it gots lots of holes in it."
"But cheese gots holes, too," said Phaethon.
"IT'S NOT CHEESE!" yelled Bellerophon.
"Time for lunch," said Glaucus. "C'mon, boys. On Fridays, the special in the cafeteria is pizza with fries and cupcakes."
"LET'S GO, MAGGOTS!"
Ares walked into the gym, holding his sons' hands. "Now, listen, punks," snapped Ares, "this is the crap-hole where I work. If you don't do nothing right, I'll kick your asses! UNDERSTOOD?!"
"Wow, it must be bad if it's bold and leaning to the side," said Phobos.
"Yeah," said Deimos. "Yeah, Dad, we get it."
"Good. Our first class is a swimming class. So go get your suits on."
Once Ares, Phobos, and Deimos all got their swim gear on, Ares clapped his hands as a bunch of random children sat on the bleachers. "SHUT UP! I'm am Mr. Ares, your swim coach! Your parents all signed forms that say you suck at swimming, so I'm a-gonna teach ya how to do it!" Ares grabbed the paper with all their names on it. "Let's see…Allison? Are you present?"
"Yes, Mr. Ares."
"How about Bobby?"
"Yes, Mr. Ares."
Once Ares got through all the kids' names, he told them all to go jump in the deep end and try to tread water.
"Wow," said Ares, "you guys really suck! Billy Bob Joe Bob! That's not the correct form. Float on your back and float there till I say you can stop! And the rest of you, do that thing I just told you to do!"
And so all the kids grabbed their kickboards and did the Love Goddess stroke. It wasn't really a stroke; they sort of just floated there with their kickboards and blew kisses to one another.
"This next one is called Sex," said Ares. "You have to float with the kickboard and yell SEX if you see a nice-looking person in the pool."
Phobos and Deimos demonstrated and all the kids got the hang of it, so they tried it, too.
After swimming, Ares taught track. "RUN, DAMMIT!" he screamed at Billy Bob Joe Bob, who was in this class, too. "I haven't got all day! Let's go, maggot!"
"Mr. Ares, my asthma's acting up!" Billy Bob Joe Bob wheezed.
"That's a lame excuse for being a maggot," Ares snapped. He blew his whistle in the kid's ear. "LET'S GO, MAGGOT!"
"Mr. Ares," the head coach, Miss Shelly, said. "Are those your kids on the wall?"
"Yeah. I told 'em to make themselves useful and get some upper-arm strength."
"And you didn't put them into a harness first?"
"Nope," snapped Ares.
"Mr. Ares, I'm afraid you're not following the rules," Miss Shelly said.
"Rules are meant to be broken, sweetie," snarled Ares.
FARMING IN WINTER
Triptolemus and Fructus were riding towards this field in the middle of nowhere where Trip worked in the fall while he harvested crops.
"Daddy, can we do something fun?" asked Fructus.
"This is fun," said Trip angrily. "I do this for a living, kid. And you'd better pay attention, because when I fade, I expect you to follow in my footsteps."
"Daddy, it's winter outside. So things don't grow," said Fructus.
"Good point. Good point." Trip put his hands in his pockets. "Well, I guess we'll go back home and stare at each other the entire day."
"Can we play a game?"
"No. We're going to go inside and help Mommy bake stuff."
Well, that was a rather boring career day. Moving on!
LET'S TRY SOME DRINKS!
So Zeus is the king. And when you're the king, that's pretty much your job and your life and everything. Now, Zeus loved being king, but Hera decided that since she had a job, Zeus should get a job, too. So Zeus got a job as a bartender. So Hebe went with Zeus to the bar to see what life was like as a bartender.
"So, when we're at the bar," said Zeus, "you will stay behind the bar the entire time. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"
"Yeah, Daddy," Hebe smiled. "Am I cute? Mommy says I'm cute."
"Sure she does," snapped Zeus. By now, they had entered the bar, so Zeus placed Hebe behind the counter and looked at Cepheus, who also worked there. "This is my little shit, Hebe."
"Oh, she's adorable," said Cepheus.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Zeus said, waving his hand impatiently. "Where's your daughter?"
"She's with Cassiopeia today…and I'm anxiously awaiting a call from Aphrodite."
"Why? You wanna have sex with her?" Zeus asked, pouring himself a beer.
"No," Cepheus snapped. "Andromeda and Cassiopeia have family issues, so they need to resolve them, and I don't think it was a good idea to bring her to the salon."
"If I can get away with bringing Hebe to the bar," said Zeus, smirking, "then Andromeda can survive the salon." He handed Hebe his beer. "Hebe, drink that. It'll get you drunk so I might actually find you entertaining for once."
Hebe took a cautious sip and gagged. The stuff was awful! "How can you drink this, Daddy?"
"Because I'm a big boy," said Zeus.
"Grandma Rhea doesn't think that. She always calls you Zeusy."
"She'd better stop that or I'm a-gonna kick her in her Titaness ass." Zeus cleared his throat. He turned to Cepheus. "So last night, Hera and I were making love…"
Hebe was looking at the other bottles that were underneath the bar. There were bottles of dark stuff in them, bottles with white stuff in them, and bottles with clear stuff in them. Hebe was pretty thirsty, so she reached for a bottle with clear stuff in it. She uncapped it and began to chug it.
Zeus, of course, wasn't paying attention until Cepheus looked at him like he was crazy.
"Didn't you like my story?" Zeus snapped at him.
"Yeah. Hebe's getting plastered."
"Oh. Hebe, keep going. Daddy's orders."
"Dude! That's booze!" Cepheus cried.
"What's a little vodka gonna do to her?" Zeus asked. "In fact, when Ares was a baby, I slipped some into his bottle and he loved it. But we're not gonna tell Hera that, right? Oh no…" Zeus said quietly. Psyche had just come into the bar for a drink.
"Hi, Zeus. Hi, Cepheus," said Psyche politely, grabbing a stool and sitting down. "Zeus, where's Hebe today?"
"Um…" Zeus tried to think of a good story. "She's…" But he couldn't think of one, so his response was, "She's behind the bar getting drunk on vodka. Happy Career Day!"
Psyche screamed. "You're…you're having Hebe ingest alcohol?"
"Yes, ma'am," Zeus said. "I told her she'd be more fun if she did that."
Psyche almost fell off the stool and ran behind the bar.
"Psyche, only cool people are allowed back here," said Zeus.
"Hebe! Stop drinking that!"
Hebe hiccupped and threw up all over her shirt. Meanwhile, Cepheus was just standing there, texting Hera (because everyone had each other's numbers).
The doorbell rang and Hera ran into the bar. "ZEUS!" she screamed at her husband. "I DON'T EVER WANT YOU GETTING HEBE DRUNK AGAIN! MOTHER RHEA WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!" And she took Hebe home.
"Well, I could use a glass of wine after that," Zeus said nonchalantly. "Psyche—where'd she go?"
"She left," said Cepheus.
"Of course she did," said Zeus. "Ooh…Zeusy's in trouble when he gets home."
FAMILY THERAPY
"Bye, you two," said Psyche, giving Hedone and Eros a hug and a few kisses. "I'm going to get my hair done."
"Bye," they replied as she headed for her car.
"Daddy," said Hedone, "are we going now?"
"Yeah, sweetheart. Let's blow this Popsicle stand!"
"Where are they?" Hedone's favorite treat was Popsicles.
"It's a saying, dear," said Eros. "Let's sing on the way there. Let's sing about…"
"Love!" said Hedone.
"Good choice!" Eros put in a CD containing a bunch of romantic songs, and he started humming "Dream a Little Dream". "Now, Hedone, when we get there, I want you to meet the secretary."
"Okay, Daddy," Hedone giggled happily as "The Trouble with Love" from Love Actually came on.
When they got to the office, they stepped inside so Eros could check in. Eros headed up to the desk, where a beautiful lady was sitting, typing away on the computer.
"Hey," said the lady.
"Good morning," said Eros. "Anyone here yet?"
"Yes. Poseidon and Amphitrite are here. Your next appointment is with Hades."
"Okay. Hedone, this is Miss Harmonia," said Eros. "She helps me make appointments."
"Like Ms. Medusa helps Ms. Hecate?" asked Hedone.
"Exactly," said Eros.
"Hedone, would you like a heart-shaped cookie? I just baked them," said Harmonia.
"Yes, please," said Hedone.
Harmonia handed her a cookie that said LOVE on it.
"Hey, guys," said Eros. "Come on back. Help yourself to a cookie!"
"I hope this is quick," said Poseidon. "I kinda forgot to drop Triton off at school this morning."
"Poseidon," Amphitrite moaned. "You're an idiot."
"I know."
Eros led them into a large room and asked them to take a seat on the couch with he sat in an armchair. He took out a clipboard. "So, how's everything going since the last time we talked?"
"Great," said Poseidon. "We're not fighting as much anymore."
"Great. Awesome. So today we'll be working on listening to each other when we have a problem. Amphitrite, would you like to start?"
Amphitrite got a few things off her chest, as did Poseidon, but Hedone had lost all interest because she'd brought a coloring book with her, and Hedone couldn't resist the pretty colors!
"Well, great to see you again," said Eros, standing up and shaking their hands. "And you can make your next appointment with Harmonia when you walk out. Have a nice day!"
After Poseidon and Amphitrite left, Eros took Hades back. "So, Hades," he said. "From what I understand, Persephone told you that you're a bad father."
"Yeah," Hades said bitterly. "She never liked me."
"Why do you think you're a bad father?" Eros asked gently.
"Because I'm dark and gloomy and I never take Makaria out to the park," snapped Hades.
"Hades, remember our counting technique," Eros insisted calmly.
"Screw this! I could be plotting revenge on Demeter, Trippy, and Fruitcake! But noooo! I have to make appointments with you because everyone thinks I'm a depressing dude!" Hades started sobbing.
Eros handed him a box of tissues. "Let it out, Hades. This is good. This is good." Eros took out a piece of paper and a pen. He wrote out an address. "I'm going to refer you onto Asclepius, because I feel you have very serious depression. I also recommend going out in the sun more often."
"It's winter, stupid," snapped Hades, blowing his nose loudly.
"It sounds like a trumpet," giggled Hedone.
"Sir, no need for attitude today." Eros got up. "Well, thanks for coming back in."
"Eh," Hades grunted and headed back to the Underworld.
"'Kay, baby doll," Eros said. "Ready to go home?"
"Yep."
So after his shift, Eros took Hedone to McDonald's, where he bought her a Happy Meal.
JASON BUILDS A BOAT
Jason woke up on Friday to Aeson standing next to his bed. "Kiddo, ready to build?"
"Yeah," Jason said, running into his closet to get ready.
Once Jason and Aeson were both dressed and ate breakfast, they headed off to Hephaestus' Hardware to get a few things.
"Hey, guys!"
Hephaestus came walking over to them, his leg braces clinking. "How can I help you today?"
"Hey, Heph. You remember Jason, right? Jason, this is Mr. Heph."
"Hi, Mr. Heph," said Jason, shaking his hand.
"Hey, kid," said Mr. Heph. "Are you having a nice day with Dad?"
"Yeah. We're gonna build a pretend boat," said Jason.
Mr. Heph laughed and led them around the store, where he handed them some wood and some nails and some other stuff.
"Mr. Heph, can I paint when I'm done?" asked Jason.
"That's your choice," said Mr. Heph.
"Cool! I'm gonna paint it gold!"
Aeson and Jason headed home, where Aeson quickly built a boat for Jason and put it into his playroom on top of a pile of newspapers. He handed Jason a paintbrush. "Have at it, kiddo."
Jason smeared paint all over the boat until his naptime. When it was naptime, Aeson took Jason upstairs to get ready for bed. Then Aeson came back downstairs to look at his son's work. It was actually pretty good. Aeson took a marker and wrote ARGO on the side of the boat, as Jason had requested a while ago. Now it was ready to play on!
NICO AND SONS
"Makaria," said Hades as they headed into the morgue, "you can't run around in here, honey. There are dead bodies here and they'll jump out and scare the crap out of you."
"Like you?" asked Makaria.
"Yes. Like me," said Hades. "Good morning, Nico."
"Hey, Dad," Nico di Angelo said. "Dad? Makaria's too little."
"It's Career Day," said Hades, putting on some protective equipment. "Who's on the table here?"
"Oh, remember Mr. Winters? Well, he died of a heart attack yesterday and his wife found him on the floor, so she wants to have the funeral tomorrow. We gotta do the embalming thingy today, Dad."
Hades sighed. "Okay. Makaria, please stay here and don't touch anything. These are very dangerous—WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?"
Makaria ran over to a bottle of pink liquid. "But, Daddy, it's pink!"
"I don't care if it's got glitter," Hades said placidly. "You are not allowed to touch anything because these are for dead people and not living people."
Makaria shrugged and sat on a chair in the corner of the room.
"So," said Hades. "I'll need to insert this tube into the carotid artery. When I say so, you'll drain the blood." Hades stuck something into Mr. Winters' carotid artery. "Now!" he yelled at Nico, who switched something on and the blood began to drain.
Makaria was quite bored, so she ran off into the morgue. She passed a lot of rooms. Some had bodies in them, some had coffins in them, and then she came to the garage where she saw all the hearses. Suddenly, she remembered an old song that Hades used to sing to her called "The Worms Crawl In", and it freaked her out, so she left the garage and ran back to the room.
But on the way, she met up with Thanatos, the god of death. "Aren't you supposed to be with Daddy?" Thanatos asked in a kid-friendly voice.
"He's not interested in me now," said Makaria. "But I sawed all the bodies."
"Oh," Thanatos said. "Would you like to see more?"
"Sure!"
So Makaria took Thanatos' hand and he led her to a very cold room with a bunch of dead people on tables, covered in winding sheets.
"It's c-c-cold in h-h-here," Makaria stammered.
"Well, we have to keep the bodies cold," said Thanatos. "Now watch this!" He picked up a coffin from a nearby table, threw it into something that looked like a giant stove, and turned the machine on. Makaria kind of watched and smiled as the body began to get cremated.
"Cool…" she said.
"Do you want a job here when you're a big girl?" asked Thanatos in the same kid-friendly voice.
"Yeah!"
"Well, study hard in school and you can also be a mortician," said Thanatos. "And there's nothing really to see other than this stuff, so let's go back to your dad."
Hades was almost done embalming Mr. Winters when he saw Thanatos and Makaria standing in the doorway. "Where were you?" he demanded.
"She was bored, so I gave her a tour," said Thanatos.
"Excellent."
"She said she wants to work here, so I told her to study hard and she'll have herself a job."
"Excellent."
"Lord Hades, are you just saying excellent because that's the only positive word you know?"
"Excellent!"
"Okay," said Thanatos.
Makaria had a great day at the morgue and couldn't wait to tell her mother about what she'd learned from Mr. Thanatos.
DICTYS' FISH FRY
Dictys and Perseus were getting ready for work that day when Danaë walked into the room. "You mind if I stop by later, hon? I forgot I had to do some schoolwork."
"Of course, baby," said Dictys. "We'll see you over there in a while."
She smiled and looked down at her son. "Did you comb your hair?"
"Yes, Mommy," Perseus sighed.
"Good. I'll see you guys in a while. Have fun!"
Dictys and Perseus were singing "A Sailor Went to Sea" when Dictys pulled into the parking lot of Dictys' Fish Fry. "Okay, dude. Let's go inside!"
Perseus had never been into the store before, so he was amazed at how big it was. "Wow, Daddy…" he breathed. "This is awesome!"
"Glad you like it, kiddo," said Dictys.
"What's Mommy doing?" asked Perseus as he held Dictys' hand as they walked up the stairs.
"She's doing some school things today."
It turned out that Danaë was doing school things that day, but she stopped as soon as the doorbell rang. She got up from the kitchen table and headed off to the door. And guess who was there? Why, it was Polydectes, of course!
When Danaë saw him, she flattened herself against the door so he wouldn't see her. Then there was a knock on the door.
"I know you're in there, Danaë," Polydectes' voice rang out. "Let me in!"
Danaë could feel tears welling in her eyes as she opened the door for the world's scariest jackass.
"Hey, sweetheart," Polydectes sneered. "Where's Dick?"
"At the fish store," snapped Danaë.
"Oh." Polydectes looked around the house. "Well…you got any beer?"
"No. Dictys drank it all," snapped Danaë.
"You on your period?" Polydectes demanded.
"No. Why?"
"You're bitchy today. Here's the deal. I wanna play with Perseus today—"
"Good freaking luck," said Danaë.
"But I see he is gone with Dick at the store," snarled Polydectes. "So…you wanna come to my house for a few drinks?"
"No," said Danaë.
"I'll leave right now and I won't spy on you for a month if you kiss me right now," Polydectes promised.
The doorbell rang again and Polydectes opened it. "Hey, Acrisius. Can I have your daughter?"
"Dude, she's married," said Acrisius. "Hey, princess. Can I borrow a pen and a piece of paper? I'm doing a winter scavenger hunt through the neighborhood and I was told I had to come here to get stuff from you."
"Both of you need to get out," snapped Danaë.
"C'mon, Danaë," said Polydectes.
"Does it have to be on the lips?" asked Danaë.
"No. It can be on the cheek or on the hand…but I would prefer the lips," said Polydectes.
"Ugh. Fine," Danaë said, and she kissed Polydectes on the cheek. "Get out."
"I've lived," Polydectes said.
Danaë looked on after him, then glared at her father. "Get out, Daddy."
"Princess, I want a pen and a piece of paper."
Danaë threw a pen and some paper at him.
"Oh, and you realize that Polydectes will still spy on you," said Acrisius. "He's a liar."
Back at the fish store, Dictys was showing Perseus all the cool stuff to see. Perseus' favorite part was the fish tank.
Suddenly, Dictys' phone rang. "Hi, Danaë! How's—oh, my gods! Are you serious?"
"Daddy? Is Mommy okay?" asked Perseus.
"Well, come on down here and I'll protect you," said Dictys. He hung up and slipped his phone into his pocket. "Uncle P came over a forced Mommy to kiss him."
"Ew!" Perseus thought he would throw up. "I'll save her!"
"Buddy, she's gonna help us today," Dictys said.
The bell rang as someone walked in…and it was Uncle P. "Perseus! Let's go for a walk around the store!"
"Can't you read?" asked Dictys. "The sign on the door says NO PEOPLE NAMED POLYDECTES ARE ALLOWED IN HERE!"
"There's no sign on the door. It just says OPEN."
Dictys wrote quickly on a piece of paper and stuck it on the door. "Now it says that!" he yelled. "OUT!"
"Kiddo, do you wanna stay here with Dick or should I take you out to lunch?" asked Uncle P.
Perseus loved his father, but he also liked food. But just before he was about to make the toughest decision in his life, Danaë walked in. "Perseus, Mommy thinks we need to get some lunch." And she grabbed Perseus' hand and led him out of the store.
"Why didn't she just eat here?" snapped Uncle P. "There's a restaurant upstairs."
"It's closed for now," said Dictys. "We had some bad fish and we don't want anyone to get sick from it."
APOLLO V. ASCLEPIUS
Theseus and Aegeus headed into the courthouse to do Aegeus' next case: Apollo v. Asclepius. Theseus was preoccupied with a few of his toys he got for Christmas.
"Order! Order!" yelled Themis, the judge and Titaness of law. "Let us introduce everyone! I am Themis, goddess of law and order. Our defendant is Asclepius, god of medicine, whose lawyer is Aegeus. The plaintiff is Apollo, god of stuff, whose lawyer is Dike, goddess of justice—Apollo, please stop making out with her! We are in a public place!"
"Sometimes I can't help it!" Apollo yelled.
"Today's case is being held because—apparently—Asclepius borrowed Apollo's stethoscope for a procedure but never returned it."
"Seriously?" snapped Theseus. "You guys are fighting because he took your doctor stuff?"
"Theseus, please," said Aegeus. "Play with your truck or something."
"Daddy, this is stupid. Dr. 'Scleepus should just give the thingy back to Dr. Apollo!"
"I guess that makes sense," said Themis. "Okay. Asclepius shall return the stethoscope to Apollo, and Apollo will stop making out with every damn woman he meets. This case is cleared of all charges!"
Aegeus and Theseus were heading home when Aegeus got mad at his son. "Theseus, what did I tell you before we went this morning?"
"No interrupting the case."
"And what did you do?"
"I interrupted the case."
"Was that a nice thing to do?"
"No."
"Okay. Go to your room and think about your actions."
Well, Theseus' career day could've gone better. He was sitting on his bed, clutching his M&M pillow and wishing his father had a job where he could visit him and yell all he wanted.
There was a knock on the door and Aethra walked in. "Honey, Daddy's sorry he yelled at you."
"Yeah, right, Mommy," Theseus said bitterly.
"He is, dear," said Aethra. "He didn't realize you were trying to help. He went back to work. Look what Mommy made for dessert tonight."
"I LOVE M&M cookies!" Theseus yelled as his mother held one out to him. "YAY!"
"Now you can have one, but only if you eat your carrots at lunchtime," said Aethra. "And for lunch, we're having yummy hot dogs."
"I love you, Mommy," Theseus said, giving his mother a hug.
"I love you, too, Theseus," said Aethra. "Let's go eat some hot dogs."
Theseus and Aethra walked downstairs, where Aethra gave Theseus a plate of chopped-up hot dogs, some potato chips, a few carrots, some grapes, and an M&M cookie for dessert. Theseus wolfed down his lunch and his cookie. "I'm full, Mommy," he said, rubbing his belly.
"Well, it looks like you ate everything," said Aethra. "Now it's naptime. Oh, and I almost forgot." She handed him the medicine cup. "Here's your meds, hon."
Theseus pinched his nose and drained the cup. He licked his lips, took a few more sips of water, then headed upstairs to bed. Aethra followed him.
"Mommy, can you read me the candy book?" asked Theseus.
"Sure," said Aethra, going over to his bookshelf. As usual, Theseus fell asleep halfway through the book.
MONDAY MORNING
"Did everyone have a nice weekend?" asked Ms. Psyche as she took attendance.
"Yep," said the class.
"Excellent. So in a few weeks, we have a very special day coming up. Does anyone want to tell the class what it is?"
Hebe raised her hand. "It's Valentime's Day!"
"I think it's Valentine's Day, Hebe. But good job anyway! So Ms. Danaë is going to teach us how to make heart folders so we can give out candy to our classmates."
The class cheered because everyone liked candy.
"But she won't teach us until a few days before," said Ms. Psyche quickly. "In the meantime, let's all make something for our parents for taking us to work with them."
So all the kids got crayons, paper, and glue, and headed to the tables to start their work. Ms. Danaë occupied one table while Ms. Psyche took charge of the other.
"Ms. Danaë, can I have some help, please?" asked Andromeda.
"Sure, honey," said Ms. Danaë. "What're we making today?"
"I'm making something for my mommy," said Andromeda. "Can you just put I HATE YOU in the middle of the paper?"
"Do you wanna say something nice?" asked Ms. Danaë.
"No."
"Well, here. I'll write Mommy a little note and send it home with you tonight. How about you make something for Daddy?"
"Okay!" And Andromeda began to draw on her piece of paper.
Meanwhile, Ms. Danaë quickly ran over to Ms. Psyche and mentioned what she'd say in the note. Ms. Psyche suggested that they write the note together, so that's what they were going to do during naptime.
"What are you making?" asked Perseus.
"I'm drawing something for my daddy," said Andromeda. "You?"
"I'm drawing a fish for Daddy," said Perseus. "Daddy likes fishies."
"Theseus," said Phaethon, "I think we're supposed to draw something for our parents, not draw a dude on the potty."
"But one time I saw Daddy do that, and that's what I made him," said Theseus bluntly. "What're you drawing?"
"I'm drawing a sun," said Phaethon.
After lunch, everyone headed for their cots and placed them in around the room. This afternoon, Theseus was the first one to fall asleep while the rest of his playmates tossed and turned for a bit.
Meanwhile, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë wrote a note to Andromeda's parents, which went something like this:
Dear Cepheus and Cassiopeia:
It has come to our attention that your daughter Andromeda is quite frightened of her mother. This is extremely abnormal behavior, and we would like it to be resolved. It is important for children to connect with their parents through play and at mealtimes. Therefore, we suggest that Andromeda has a mother-daughter day with Cassiopeia. Please contact us if you have any questions or concerns regarding this suggestion, and we will provide feedback.
Sincerely,
Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë,
Preschool Teachers at Ms. Hecate's Academy
P.S. (to Cassiopeia) – We'll need to report the way you act to your daughter if we don't see improvement by the month of April.
Ooh…to be continued…
STORY UPDATE! I have decided to continue this story into their kindergarten year…maybe their first-grade year, depends on how kindergarten goes. But I was thinking one night about some more characters (like Orpheus, Eurydice, and I'll bring Hercules back, too). For the present, I shall be doing a Cassiopeia/Andromeda day, Valentine's Day, and some other fun things. Couldn't you just see Theseus doing some crazy pranks on April Fool's Day? That would be funny!
AU REVOIR,
ICY :)