Flashback:
"Dr. Grant, there is someone asking for you in the waiting room"?
Emma looked up from the patient file she was reading at the nurse's station.
She smiled at Alison one of the intern nurses.
"Thank you Alison. Did they mention who they were? A patient family member perhaps"?
Alison looked down on at the floor, almost like a teenager who had done something wrong. "No. I'm sorry. I know I should have asked but I didn't".
Emma put her hand on Alison's shoulder. "That's OK, don't worry about it. Why don't you and Nancy go prep Major Amberson for his surgery"?
Alison lifted her head in better spirits and nodded in agreement.
Emma closed the file, grabbed her stethoscope from the counter and placed it around her neck as she walked away and headed to the waiting room.
She passed the two bay doors and entered the room. It was busy. That sure wasn't going to help her to determine who had been asking for her. She gave the room a quick sweep. There was a mix of people, some men and women in uniform and others civilians; it could have been anyone. Then she saw him as he stood from his chair. He was in uniform and he looked sexier than ever.
Her heart paced and her breathing accelerated as he walked towards her with a look and a smile that made her feel self-conscious. He stopped a few inches from her.
"Hello Emma".
"Jake", she said smiling. "What are you doing here"?
"Well, I'm actually at the Pentagon for the week and I thought it would be a real pity, my being so close by and not stopping to see you".
"I agree. It would have been a terrible mistake".
They smiled at each other and he discreetly took her hand in his.
"And of course, I was kind of getting tired of phone sex".
Emma laughed. "You're absolutely right, there is nothing like having a more hands on experience".
She moved in to close the gap between them and put her arms around him.
He looked around. "Where not going to get in trouble for doing this are we? For being this close while you are at work"?
She nodded no. "So what did you have in mind"?
He smiled. "Well, I was thinking of this kind of scenario, tell me what you think. Discreet, professional military by day and loving, yearning boyfriend by night? I would use other terms to describe exactly what I want to do to you every night this week, but we're in public and it wouldn't be suitable".
She bit her lip. She could precisely imagine what he had in mind. "I think I like your scenario, Captain Ballard"!
"What time do you get off shift"?
Emma looked at her watch. "I get off at 6". It was 2 PM which meant that the four remaining hours, knowing what she had waiting for her tonight, would be dragging on and on.
"Great. I'm done at 5. I'll come pick you up and we can go eat dinner and go back to my hotel"!
"Why don't you pick me up at 6, skip dinner, order room service and you show me how bad you've missed me"!
Jake lifted his eyebrow.
A small cough was heard behind Emma. Emma turned her head to find Nancy standing behind her.
"I'm sorry Dr. Grant, Major Amberson is prepped for surgery and ready to go".
Emma nodded. "I'll be right there". She turned her attention back to Jake. "I've got to go; I'm needed in surgery".
She leaned in and kissed him and even if it was soft and short, they both felt the sexual tension that had built over the three weeks they had been apart. Sure they had been phone calls, emails, texts, phone sex, even some hot Skyping but they both knew that nothing could replace the touch of their hands, lips, tongues on each other's skin.
She pulled back slowly as they looked in each other's eyes. Then she turned and started to walk away. As she got to the bay doors, she turned around and gave Jake one last look. "Don't be late"!
He placed his arms and hands behind his back. "Sweetheart, when it comes to you I'll never be late, I'll always be early! Now go and save lives"!
She walked away and met up with Nancy in the hallway.
"Now girl, you've got to tell me who that handsome looking man was"!
Emma smiled as they continued to walk towards the OR ward. "A friend of my brother's and all I can say is that I hope his name will be long-term"!
Emma's surgery over, she headed to check up on a few patients before heading to the locker room to shower and change. As she finished putting on her jeans and her button-down shirt, her phone rang. She grabbed it from inside her locker. It was Fitz.
"Hey Fitz".
"Hey Sis. I'm not disturbing you am I"?
"No, not at all. I've just finished my shift. I'm about to head home". Big lie but who cared!
"Great listen, I need to ask you a favor".
"As long as it has nothing to do with Dad, shoot"!
"You remember my friend Captain Jake Ballard, from Thanksgiving right. Stupid me, of course you remember, you two seemed to get along".
"Yes Fitz, I remember him".
"Well I know that he's in the Pentagon this week, arrived this morning and well… I thought that, I don't know, maybe you could reach out to him"?
Emma laughed inside. "Reach out to him"?
"Yeah, nothing major, just maybe offer to go out for a drink or dinner.. I know him and he's going to stay cooped up in that hotel of his every night and so I thought that maybe since he knows you a little bit, he'd agree to step out on a night in town, between friends".
Emma said nothing. What Fitz would do and say if he only he knew the truth. Yet besides that Emma did find it rather funny considering the situation.
"Look forget I asked. I'm sure you're extremely busy with work and you've got your own group of friends. I told him I would come with him to the Pentagon and tend to some business of my own but I got pulled into another obligation that required for me to stay here.. I just felt bad ditching him is all".
"Fitz, say no more. Send me his mobile phone number and I'll 'reach out' like you've said".
"Really"?
"Yep.. not a problem. I'm sure I can spare an evening of my busy work and social agenda to have a drink with Jake".
"You are one amazing person you know that Emma? I love you and owe you one for this. I'll text you his number. I've got to run. Talk to you later"!
With that Fitz hung up. Emma closed her locker and grabbed her coat and purse and headed to the main entrance of the hospital. Jake was waiting for her as planned. He had changed and was wearing a pair of jeans, a shirt and a leather jacket.
He amusingly looked at his watch. "You're late"!
She kissed him passionately. "I have an excuse".
"Oh you do, do you"?
She grabbed his hand and they walked outside. "I was detained by Fitz. He called me".
Jake looked at her with a questioned look on his face. Seeing the look on his face she continued. "He called me to tell me that you were at the Pentagon this week and alone… that he was wondering if I minded reaching out to you and see if you wanted to go out for a drink or dinner…as friends".
Jake put his arm around Emma and in the cold December night pulled her in closer. "You don't say.. and what did you say"?
"I told him that I would reach out and that I would most probably be able to find some time in my busy social agenda to grant you with my presence".
"Busy social agenda"?
"Yes… you see, I'm kind of seeing this really hot, good-looking, handsome, sexy military Captain and he just happens to be in town this week and I'm going to be very, very busy"!
They laughed as they jumped into a cab and headed for Jake's hotel. Although they managed to hold back their burning desire in the cab, once Jake opened the door to his hotel room, they were on each other like in no time.
They took off each other's jackets as they kissed. He started to unbutton her shirt but got impatient and after two buttons, with his strong hands, grabbed both sides and pulled them apart, sending the buttons flying. She panted as she came up for air as she pushed him away to remove his shirt. They took off each other's jeans and undergarments and for just one second, in the dimmed light they looked at each other. The wave of passion came even stronger as he lifted her and she straddled him. He brought her to the desk and sat her down on the edge and covered her entire body with his touch, his lips, his mouth, his tongue, before taking her and making her moan, scream his name in pleasure. Even though their first reuniting was rough, they took their time the rest of the night… When they finally crashed in each other's arms in the wee hours of the morning, between the sex, the room service and talking, Jake found himself saying something he had never said to any other woman before.
"Emma, I'm falling in love with you", he said as he caressed her bare shoulder.
Emma smiled. "I know. So am I Jake"!
End Flashback
Emma leaned over the gazebo railing. The park was crowded but people hardly ever stopped at the gazebo, only used it as a temporary resting point or passage from one side to the other. She was aching inside. She and Jake had often come to that same gazebo but never in all those times had she felt how she was feeling right there and then.
Couples were sitting in the grass, talking or soaking up the sun, children were running around and either playing in the grass or on the nearby playground. Some people were jogging or walking their dogs. All in all, the place hadn't changed in the last 10 years. She had often imagined herself and Jake bringing their children to the park, to build a snowman during the winter, pick up leaves during the fall, picking flowers in the spring and enjoying the beautiful summer sun as a family. That had all but vanished. Here she was years later, the furthest away possible from where she had hoped to be.
She felt a presence by her side leaning over the railing. Even if she could see him from the corner of her eye, she would have known it was him even with her eyes closed. It could have been the smell he carried or simply how her body reacted when he was near her, but she knew it was Jake.
"Emma"?
She didn't turn her head to look at him. Instead she kept her eyes on the park scene. Jake was at a loss for words. She had been through so much already and had made remarkable efforts to resume their life together that he didn't know what to say, to help her go through this.
"Emma, I'm sorry".
"I know you are. You know this is even harder than my coming to terms with you dying. I know things were different for you when I was gone, but it hurts… it really hurts Jake, deep inside".
He wanted to touch her, to take her into his arms but he was so afraid to break her even more. She was like a beautiful porcelain vase with a huge crack and he knew that by moving it the slightest bit, it could break into a million pieces that he would never be able to put back together.
"I never meant for this to hurt you and you're right things were different back then for me".
"I want to be so mad at you and Olivia and Fitz, but I can't be. I don't have a right to be mad".
"Yes you do! And I would completely understand you being angry, just like I understand you are hurting now. I wish I could take it all back, I wish it had never happened and that you would never have to feel this way, but I can't. So the only thing I can do is try to make it better. Emma, I love you! I am here, by your side, I need you and even if I have to spend the rest of my life proving to you that Olivia didn't matter and was a mistake, then that is what I'll spend it doing. I don't want to lose you! I don't want this to break us"!
Emma turned her head and looked at him. His eyes were filled with fear and pain and tearing up. He was looking at her in search of an answer. Not forgiveness, just an answer on how they could get over this boulder.
As he looked at her, he saw that she had been crying. Her eyes were red and blotchy and her make-up had run slightly. It was his turn to hurt. Knowing that he had hurt her, made her run away and return to their place, it tore him apart inside.
She looked again at the park. "We made a pact remember"?
He was thrown off course by her words. He swallowed and barely managed to answer. "Yes, I remember".
"That's why I don't have the right to be angry at you. This is what we agreed to. We agreed to that to protect ourselves, but we never imagined this particular outcome".
She was right, this had never been a scenario they had envisioned.
The pact had come when she had been scheduled to depart on her first tour in Afghanistan. Generally, it was the basic simple things you had to make sure were handled. A copy of the will, last wishes, medical care, DNRs, but as close a married and loving couple as they were, they had gone a step further. They had also decided that if something happened to either one of them, a coma or even death, that the other one that was left behind, would go on with their life. And going on with their lives would mean seeing new people, dating and eventually get married again and have kids. Emma thought that 3 years sounded like a good time to finally let go and move on (she hadn't said it thinking of herself but more for an out on Jake's side) but Jake had told her that it would be impossible for him to move on after three years… in the end they had agreed to five years. No one knew about their pact. Some would have thought it to be preposterous but to them it was a way of showing each other how much they loved one another.
Jake shakily and uncertainly placed his hand on hers. "I want you to know that I didn't follow the terms of our pact". She was shocked and even more hurt by his words. She tried to remove her hand from under his, but he held on to it too tight. "What, I want to tell you is that I didn't wait for five years… I waited for seven years Emma. It had nothing to do with you being MIA and not officially confirmed dead. I waited seven years because you were the only woman I ever loved and for seven years, I could never imagine myself with anyone else. I lost my friend, my soulmate, my wife and no one, no one has ever come close to replacing you, not then, not now, not never"!
Emma turned her head and looked at him. She was crying. He gently took her into his arms and when she let him and he was able to hold her against him, he gave a sigh of relief.
"I want to make another pact", she said.
"I want you to promise me that we are never to speak about this ever again. I don't want to know why, who, what, where, when or how many times it happened. But if you love me, don't ever look at Olivia, like you did earlier, don't flirt, don't play games. She wasn't your mistress and she better never be, because if you can't respect that, you will lose me forever and there will be no turning back. It'll be too late".
"I promise. Can I take you home now"?
She nodded. "No… I want to stay here a bit longer, if that's ok with you"?
"Of course".
They stayed there a bit longer, not saying anything but both without knowing it thinking about their future and making plans and promises they would never break!