A/N: IT'S NEARLY THE END AND IDK WHETHER TO BE HAPPY OR SAD.

Sad, like this chapter tbh.

Enjoy x

***February 20th: Moving Day***

"Mace, that's the last box." Cammie called out from downstairs.

"The last one? The actual, real, last one?"

"Yes! It's all done." she said, as Macey ran down the stairs.

"That's a relief. Have all of the boxes gone now?"

"They're all headed straight to Gallagher. When do you get your keys to your new place?"

"Three days time. I have to hand the keys in for this one tomorrow morning."
"How are you feeling, about that?"

"I don't know. This place, it was one of the first places I've felt happy to live in since Gallagher. We were a family here, and everything was perfect. We didn't even have a whole year here. God, it was barely even six months. But Isabella's first birthday was here. And I found out that I was pregnant again. And I kinda wanted this to be forever, you know? I wanted it to be me and Preston and our two kids in this house forever. And we'd argue about whether they'd go to Gallagher or not. We'd watch them grow up as we got older. And then they'd leave and it'd just be us two again until they came home with grandchildren. Then the house would feel alive again, and my family would feel stronger. But it was never going to work out like that, was it? Something was always going to stop that. So I guess I'm happy, because this is the house of what could never be."

"It's okay to be upset about it. A significantly important chunk of your life was spent here. You're allowed to be upset."

"I know... and I will be. But not yet."

"So, everything in DC is boxed up too?"

"It's all in storage. The apartment goes up for sale tomorrow, so that's one of them out of the way."
"That's good."

"Yeah...Yeah I suppose it is."

"So... you think Isabella will like New York?"

"She doesn't really have a choice. I'm not asking my toddler if she wants to move to New York or not."

"What made you want to live there anyways?"

"It's one of the few places where Preston never went with me. New York was always my thing. I'd take trips there by myself. We always spoke about going there together. We were going to spend New Years Eve there this year, but obviously that didn't happen. So I thought why not?"

"And...I hate to pry but what are you going to do about work, now that you've quit the Secret Service?"

"I think I can manage for a little while, Preston left pretty much everything to me so I'm not short on money. But once both of the kids are in school, I'll find something to do."

"I'm sure they'd have you back, at the Secret Service, if you wanted to go back."
"There's probably a policy that says they can't take me back because it was a verbal resignation. Either way, it's unlikely that they'd want me back."

"Mace, Abby told me that she spoke to the director of Secret Service after you'd walked out. He said to her that there would always be a place for you, and that it was clear that you weren't in the right frame of mind to be making such a huge decision. People don't just quit the Secret Service. It doesn't happen."

"It happens, and it did happen. I have to face what I did, and I suppose it'll be alright because it's not like I don't have things to keep me busy. I have children to raise. It's getting late, I should go pick up Isabella from Liz and Jonas."

"And I should be getting home to Zach."

"How is he?" Macey asked as they walked out of the house with Cammie just in front of her.

"He's still distant, but he's there. There are days when he's absolutely fine, but other days he won't talk, or eat or sleep. I would say he's coping, but I don't know if you can even call it that. I think he feels responsible, because Zach was the last person who spoke to Preston properly before it all happened. Before he went into the store, he called Zach asking for advice for a Christmas present for you because I wasn't picking up my phone."

"He shouldn't feel responsible, he couldn't have stopped it."

"I know that, and so does he. But sometimes that isn't a good enough excuse for him, and he refuses to believe that he couldn't have done anything."

"I know what that's like."

"I know you do." Cammie smiled slightly, and got into her car.

That night, Macey and Isabella were staying at Gallagher. Their whole lives were in boxes, so the only things that they had with them were a few clothes in a suitcase, that and the letter.

Macey looked at the envelope beside her bed. She hadn't known that he had done that, written that little note for her. And when she had been given in, just over a month ago, she waited as long as she could to open it. This was as long as she could wait. So she took the envelope in her hands and opened it carefully. She pulled the letter out, and began to read.

Macey,

I really, truly hope that you never have to read this. I hope Zach doesn't have to give it to you, and I hope you never see it in your life. But unfortunately, the reality is that you're reading this letter right now because Zach gave it to you. Because I'm gone.

First of all, I'm sorry. I'm probably dead, or close to death and you're gonna be extremely mad at me for a while, if not the rest of your life. You're angry at me for leaving you, for abandoning you. Right?

See, I know you too well.

My point is, it's okay. It's okay for you to scream until you can't breath anymore. It's okay for you to go for weeks without sleeping. It's okay for you to cry and cry until tears won't actually fall out of your eyes anymore. And it's okay for you to be angry at me. (I'll allow it, just this once.) But what's not okay, is the fact that you're probably blaming yourself for whatever happened. Chances are, you couldn't have stopped it if you tried. You're not a superhero, although you always were to me. You can scream, but not at yourself. You can cry, but not because you think you should've done something. And you can be angry, but not at yourself. Okay?

Secondly, I don't care what anybody says. You DO NOT have to be the strong one. I, as your husband, best friend and everything else that I am or ever was to you, am giving you full permission to fall apart whenever you feel the need to. Be it in front of our friends, in front of our daughter or in front of our parents. You can break down and cry as much as you need to. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You don't have to support everyone else, you don't have to do anything for them. If I'm gone, you're allowed to grieve. Just not for too long.

Thirdly, I want you to be happy. I want you to go out there and find somebody else who makes you happy. Don't be alone. And if you find someone who treats you right, and truly loves you then give them the other letter that came with this one. Zach gave you two, right? This one is for you, and the other is for them. And if they don't treat you right. If they hurt you, or upset you, or make you feel anything less than perfect then give them hell. Make them regret the day they screwed around with you.

I don't want to write 'finally', because I don't want to end this letter. But it's the last main point that I have for you, so I guess it is final.

I can't compress into this letter all of the feelings that I've ever felt for you. And I can't explain to you in any combination of words how much you mean to me. You should know that, you do know that. The only reflection of my love for you that I can leave is this letter, and Isabella. I know that you will, but raise her right. Make her grow up to be like you, to not take crap from anybody and to strive for nothing but perfection in everything she does. Sit with her while she sleeps. Sing to her when she cries. Hold her tightly when her first love breaks her heart. Give her away on her wedding day when she's ready to become part of somebody else's heart. Teach her everything you know, tell her about how much I loved her and don't let her forget about me.

In my lifetime, I've done so many things that have hurt you. So many things that have been wrong for us. But I said to you that I'd try for the rest of my life to make those mistakes up to you. And though my life may have been cut short, I hope I managed to do that. I hope you can try to forgive me. But if you can't, then I understand. I don't blame you.

I don't want you to spend your life crying tears over me. You can grieve for a little while but I want you to move on eventually. Can you do that for me? Please honey?

I love you Macey. I always have, and I always will. And I'm sorry. I'm so, so unbelievably sorry.

Move on, but don't forget me

Preston.

The letter fell out of Macey's hands as tears cascaded down her cheeks. She brushed the tears off of her face, picked up the letter and clutched it to her chest. She could feel the beat of her own heart pounding heavily and rapidly through the paper. Reading that letter was a bad idea, she shouldn't have done it. Why did she do it? Before she had read it, it didn't seem like Preston was really gone. She never got the chance to hear a proper goodbye. But this was it, this was the goodbye that she didn't want to hear. She had seen the goodbye. She had read the goodbye. And now he was truly gone.

As she continued to wipe the tears from her eyes, she heard crying from Isabella's bed next to her. So Macey pulled herself out of her bed and walked over to her daughter. Isabella sad up in her bed, with her hands reaching out for Macey. Macey looked at her and sighed. She wrapped her arms around her, lifted her out of her bed and rested her on her hip.

"Teach her everything you know, tell her about how much I loved her and don't let her forget about me." Preston's words repeated in her head.

"It's okay sweetie, Mommy's here." She soothed the hysterical child, who seemed to do nothing but throw tantrums and cry these days. Usually, when Isabella started screaming during the night she would talk, but this time she was just silent. "What's wrong?" Macey asked her, smoothing the little girl's hair with her hands.

"Daddy..." Isabella trailed off. "I want Daddy"

Macey had to take a few deep breaths to stop herself from bursting into tears. Isabella had been more attached to Preston, it was obvious to anyone and everyone. And now he wasn't here.

"Come on sweetie, just try and go back to sleep."

Isabella rubbed her eyes and shook her head, but then pointed to Macey's bed.

"Okay.." Macey said, too exhausted to protest. So she walked over to her bed and placed Isabella in it. Macey lay next to her daughter, who had formed a tight grip on her arm. She looked up at the ceiling, and prayed that after tonight things would get easier. For both of them.

Thank you for reading :) x