Chapter Fourteen: Prodigal
AN: I've been suffering from some Jesse withdrawal, so this is all Jesse with a little bit of Quinn and Rachel and a lot of Shelby, Andrea, Aiden, Lane and a few other Vocal Adrenalin members. This chapter just basically serves as an insight into his past, and why he reacts the way he does to things that happen to him. It basically just explains some of the things that Jesse does in the future chapters and in the sequels, to understand why he is like he is.
I'm on the road
To who knows where?
Look ahead, not behind
I keep saying
There's no place to go
Where you're not there
On your rope, I hold tight
But it's freeing
And I take everything from you
But you'll take anything
Won't you?
Freshman Year – 2007
When Jesse St. James had walked into the auditorium at Carmel High School he hadn't been sure what exactly to expect. He'd heard that Vocal Adrenalin had been an award winning performing choir up until the previous year when they'd lost their coach and had to settle with a cheap replacement, and they had then recruited Shelby after losing badly. With Shelby came Jesse, and while he knew that he was pretty much guaranteed a spot in the club he wondered how the other people in the club would react to his presence. He knew he was talented; he would be lying if he said that he didn't, but he didn't want to put a huge target on his back the second he walked out on the stage. He'd never really had many friends in his lifetime and he found himself actually wondering what it would be like.
And then he met Andrea Cohen.
She was unlike any girl he'd seen in a really long time, with a dark complexion and raven dark hair that cascaded down her back. She was a freshman like he was and she looked nervous in the large auditorium, as if she was waiting for it to swallow her up. She told him that she'd auditioned the day before for Ms. Corcoran in her office and had surprisingly made it, making the two of them the only freshman in the club. There had never been any freshman in Vocal Adrenalin, so for two to have gotten in they must have been pretty damn good…and Shelby wanted them to prove it to the rest of the club members who were sending scathing looks in the directions of the new members.
"Cohen, St. James…I want you to sing this. Show your new teammates what you're made of." She handed them the sheet music and they headed to center stage, doing a quick vocal warm up before launching into the song as the piano started to play the opening notes of "(I've Had) The Time of my Life" from Dirty Dancing.
Now I've had the time of my life
No I never felt like this before
Yes I swear it's the truth
and I owe it all to you
When Jesse opened his mouth to sing he knew that everyone would be captivated with his strong, powerful voice. He had spent years perfecting it so it was no surprise that he could sing the song well without any practice, it was in his nature.
'Cause I've had the time of my life
and I owe it all to you
Andrea's vocals were strong and smooth but she lacked the emotion and star quality that he knew he possessed. She was good, that was obvious, but she needed some work if she wanted to become great.He could see everyone hanging onto his every word as he preformed the song with his heart and soul, crooning the lyrics of the love song to the freshman girl singing opposite him who was practically bursting with energy. Her energy spurned his and the song seemed to swell with power as they stepped it up.
We saw the writing on the wall
As we felt this magical fantasyThis could be love because
I've been waiting for so long
Now I've finally found someone
To stand by me
Now with passion in our eyes
There's no way we could disguise it secretly
So we take each other's hand
'Cause we seem to understand the urgency
just remember
You're the one thing
I can't get enough of
So I'll tell you something
They sang the lines back and forth before hitting the last line, singing together, as they hurtled into the chorus.
I've had the time of my life
No I never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you
Shelby stopped them at this point, her point clearly made, as she sent them into choreography drills that made him wonder if that was what it would be like to be in the army. He didn't complain though because he knew that anything that happened to him over the next four years were just going to be a stepping stone in order to get to where he wanted to be: on Broadway.
He performed as the male lead for Vocal Adrenalin, despite the fact that there were many senior boys in the club, and they promptly won their Sectional's and Regional's easily. The competition at National's was slightly more difficult but Vocal Adrenalin still triumphed and came home with first prize, as they had thought they would. Jesse wasn't sure what it was about performing with VA that made him feel so energized and alive, but he loved it so much that he actually considered pulling a Stephen and failing on purpose over and over again so that he'd never have to leave. He actually went as far as to suggest the idea to Shelby who shot it down, not wanting him to lose any options just because of a show choir. She loved him too much to see him put all his eggs in one basket because she had learned the hard way that sometimes things just don't work out, and it's better to have a contingency plan then to end up cold, alone, and broke in a city that just wants to pull you in and spit you out. She didn't want what had happened to her to happen to Jesse so she taught him everything she knew and then some, hoping that he would be able to achieve the fame that she'd so desperately wished to accomplish.
Sophomore Year – 2008
After an agonizingly long summer after from Vocal Adrenalin Jesse was more than overjoyed to be able to go back to the group that he'd once considered his family. Unfortunately for him, his family was no longer intact as one of the show choir directors from another school had found out about several of the ages of the members, and it had been revealed that previous show choir directors at Carmel had been failing students on purpose in order to keep them in the club. Regrettably that cut down the members in the club to almost half and Shelby needed to get more people fast or they wouldn't even qualify for Sectional's, so she got desperate and enlisted the dance club to join forces with the show choir. That was when their numbers started becoming more dance based than vocals, but with Andrea and Jesse belting out the vocals with the dancing routines going on expertly in the background they became an unstoppable force that no one even stood a chance of competing against.
It was at Sectional's that year, right after he sang his solo "Left Behind" from the musical Spring Awakening, that Jesse met her. She was the daughter of the show choir director for Aural Intensity and he found her captivating with her long blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and curvaceous body. At 16 years old Jesse was starting to be more and more interested in girls, especially this one, and he pursued her constantly until she finally agreed to go out on a date with him. They went to dinner and a movie and he found that he really enjoyed her company so they started to date exclusively, until Regional's when she revealed that she'd been dating him just to distract him during Regional's and steal their set list. He was devastated by this but they had won in the end when his powerful rendition of "One Song Glory" won them Regional's and the title at National's. After the Shawna debacle they decided to "borrow" her underhanded tactics to use on the other show choirs in future years, in order to fully establish the show choir hierarchy that had been established after the defeat of Aural Intensity.
Jesse learned his lesson after the debacle with Shawna. He wasn't going to let someone in that easily ever again, he would learn from his mistakes and come out stronger for it. He would become a soulless automaton, and they would be a powerful, and if necessary; robotic, force to be reckoned with. He proposed the idea to Shelby and she thought it was a good idea to keep them in shape and she pushed them twice as hard as she did before, causing many kids to quit or just pass out from the exhaustion of it all. Jesse liked being pushed so he never once complained, even when they had the seven hour rehearsal on Christmas day.
He didn't date anyone else the remainder of the year, never even looked at another girl. He focused solely on music and performing, because it would never let him down. Instead he focused on competition and hard work, striking up an odd sort of friendship with a fellow sophomore named Lane who was talented, but not as talented as himself. They started to hang out and he finally felt like he'd made a new friend.
…Until Lane tried to kiss him one day after rehearsal. Jesse was very confident in his sexuality, and had nothing wrong with anyone who was interested in the same sex, but it just wasn't for him. However Lane wasn't very happy with that news and their friendship pretty much dissolved.
Junior Year – 2009
Junior year started out the same way sophomore year ended with intense VA practices, no love life, and all work no play. He was still the male lead and Andrea was still the female lead but she didn't seem as focused as she usually was, probably because she and Aiden had started dating. Jesse had lectured her on what dating a fellow performer would do to her and she had refused to listen to him, and now they were all paying the consequences. He refused to allow their performances to suffer due to her relationship issues so he suggested that they turn the usual duet into a solo, and that was when Vocal Adrenalin pretty much became "Jesse St. James featuring Vocal Adrenalin". For their group numbers no one was given a solo besides him and occasionally Andrea when there was a part in the song that needed to be sung opposite Jesse, and everyone in the club pretty much accepted it for what it was. They knew that he was a star and that he needed to shine, and they tolerated it because they wanted to win. That was when he sort of fell apart from all of his friends; they weren't going to get him anywhere in life. He focused his on learning the piano and rehearsing, determined to successfully obtain a scholarship to either UCLA or Julliard, whichever one he decided he'd rather go to.
He originally decides on UCLA, because he likes the warm weather and wants to get as far away from Ohio as he possibly can.
Jesse has pushed pretty much everyone in his life away at this point besides Shelby and occasionally Andrea, so he's surprised when she shows up at his house and throws her arms around him as sobs wrack her small body. He holds her cautiously, almost as if she'll break if he touches her, and leads her inside to sit on the couch. They talk for what feels like hours and he remembers what it was like to have a real friend and he vows not to let her get away from again, so when she kisses him he reluctantly kisses her back.
They're officially together three days later.
He has no real emotional attachment to Andrea besides their friendship and their growing sexual intimacy, so he has no reason not to go all the way with her when she suggests it on their second date. They do it and it's good, he doesn't tell her she's his first, and he finds that he almost starts to enjoy her company.
Until she tells him she might be pregnant…and then he can't even stand to look her in the eye. They compete at National's once again and win, but the win doesn't feel as good as it usually does. It feels like he's lost, but he's not sure what game he was playing.
Summer comes and he tells Andrea that he doesn't want to see her again, and if she's smart she'll quit VA.
She doesn't.
Senior Year – 2010
When school resumed in September Jesse really thought that Andrea had taken his advice and had chosen not to return to Vocal Adrenalin until he saw her sneak in the back of the auditorium, sidling up next to Aiden who she had apparently reconciled with. He found that he didn't really care all that much about the situation and he pushed himself to the max in their rehearsals, still dissatisfied with the level of enthusiasm that his fellow performers were putting in. That was why he suggested they hire Dakota Stanley to help choreograph their moves. He found the short man to be an inspiration of sorts, and it was partly why he was so insulted when the icon told him that his leg had wobbled during a run through of "Rehab". He scowled and pushed himself harder to prove that he hadn't wobbled and in turn Dakota pushed all of them harder, which caused many cases of dehydration and exhaustion to fall upon the performers. Jesse truly believed that no matter what happened, no matter how many members of Vocal Adrenalin continued to fall down during the numbers because they were too tired to remain standing, he would let Dakota keep pushing them because he wanted to be the best, wanted his last year at Carmel High School to be the best year of show choir that ever existed.
That is, until Andrea miscarried in the middle of one of their practices.
The day had started out as normal as it could have. They had been rehearsing their Mercy number and he had picked her up, finding it hard to do now that she was several months pregnant, and spun her around in the air before dipping her down and twirling them around as they danced to the intricate routine. He could hear her gasping for breath but he didn't have time to think about it as his solo was coming up. He opened his mouth to start to sing but was distracted by something red on the tips of his fingers…it looked like blood. He looked from his fingers to Andrea and then back again before her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell to the ground. He yelled for someone to call 911 and he held her in his arms as she continued to bleed profusely. He knew from the amount of blood all over him and the floor that there was no way the baby could have survived, and he was not surprised the next day when he heard that Andrea Cohen was no longer a member of Vocal Adrenalin.
The death of a baby that may or may not have been his was on his mind almost constantly, haunting him as he wondered how much of it was his fault. Had he spun her too fast? Dipped her too low? However he didn't have time to focus on any of the drama going on in his personal life…it was time for Sectional's and he was ready to perform his victory lap before going off to UCLA in the fall, who had offered him a full scholarship. They did well at Sectional's and after hearing who their competition would be, decided to check out the competition at the other schools. Jesse was blown away by what he saw the performance New Directions, a glee club from Lima, did at their Sectional's. The group in itself was mediocre at best; half their dancers couldn't even dance and there were really only one or two strong vocalists in the entire group. However their female lead was the most spectacular being he'd ever laid eyes on in his entire life. Not only was she beautiful, but her rendition of "Don't Rain on my Parade" was quite possibly the best version of it he'd ever heard sung by someone else who wasn't Barbara Streisand. Her voice sent chills down his spine and he was surprised a few weeks later when he ran into her at the music store, perusing through stacks of sheet music until she found the one she was looking for.
After singing with her in the music store he realized that the walls he'd worked so hard on building over the past four years had started crumbling down…all because of Rachel Berry.
The same Rachel Berry who, apparently, was Shelby's daughter. The girl that he'd started to fall for was his mentor's daughter, and when Shelby asked him to get closer to her so that he could help the two reunite he knew hw couldn't say no because of how much Shelby had helped him his whole life. So he had lied to Rachel and transferred to McKinley, knowing that whatever happened couldn't end well. Not for him anyway.
They hadn't even been dating for very long and he was already crazy about her, so crazy that he'd actually considered giving up Vocal Adrenalin and his solo in Bohemian Rhapsody for her. He'd admitted as such to Shelby who'd promptly threatened to take away everything he'd ever worked for if he didn't come back to Carmel so he did as he was told, reluctantly, and broke the heart of the one girl he'd ever truly loved.
…breaking his own heart, which he hadn't known he'd had, in the process.
AN: Just a little insight into Jesse's mind frame, and what he was like in high school. I loved writing Jesse in high school, I even thought about maybe having Jesse and Lane have a small thing but I don't know…what do you think? Actually no, that would be weird. Also, i've been awarded the best overall story in MissEllie's St Berry writing contest, so as a special treat the next chapter will be up tomorrow morning before I go to class!