Going Under

Had to run from you
I'm in love with you
But the vibe is wrong
And that haunted me all the way home

So you never know
Never, never know
Never know enough
Till it's over love
Till we lose control
System overload
Screamin' no, no, no, no, no

I'm not lovin' you
Way I wanted to
See I want to move
But can't escape from you

So I keep it low
Keep a secret code
So everybody else don't have to know

So keep your love locked down
Your love locked down

- "Love Lockdown" by Kanye West

Chapter 14

A ringing sound forced Mamoru to open his eyes. He quickly realized that it was coming from his desk, meaning it was his phone ringing. He was up in an instant, flipping it open.

"Check the news. Now," Nick's cranky voice ordered. Mamoru could vaguely hear ruffling of paper and lots of background sound going on. There was also lots of shouting coming as well, along with Nick muttering angrily under his breath as he did whatever it was that he was doing.

"What? Why?" Mamoru asked as he furrowed his eyebrows, but walked to the door regardless.

"Diamond's up to his tricks. What else?" Nick said to him distractedly

Mamoru almost ran down the stairs, clambering to the living room. He came to a stop when he saw Usagi sleeping on the couch, a light comforter covering her. The areas around her eyes were dark, as she had obviously gotten very little sleep.

"Mamoru!"

Mamoru shook his head and walked to the remote, flicking the TV on.

Esmeraude's face flickered to life and the phone slipped from his hand, clanking on the floor loudly. Horror filled him as the reporter started talking.

"-reporting live from our studios. For those just tuning in, we previously had Esmeraude Clark with us. She is a high officer of the Chambers' business. The interview was given to our journalist" the screen began to play, "How are you this fine morning, Esmeraude?"

"Good," Esmeraude answered back, her flawless face smiling. She wore a suit, looking much cleaner than he had ever before seen her. There was barely any skin showing. Something obviously engineered to make her look believable.

Mamoru cursed under his breath.

"So, we hear you are here to give us some information on the case against Mr. Chambers" the man sitting across from her said, looking very spic as he spoke brightly to Esmeraude, he brushed imaginary dirt off his shirt as he looked at Esmeraude expectantly.

"Yes, I am. I come to say that the charges brought against Diamond Chambers are utterly false and malicious. Diamond Chambers is an outstanding citizen"

"What the hell is this?" a drowsy voice said from behind him, and he turned to face a red-eyed Usagi. She didn't look at him, staring straight at the TV, her eyes narrowed.

"However, these charges are quite major. Do you have any proof that Mr. Chambers was not involved? What of the charges that state he attacked his longtime girlfriend?"

"Where is this woman? She has not come forward to personally press charges. Mr. Chambers says that he made no attack of any sort on his girlfriend. He was with myself, and a friend the night that all of the rumors were unleashed. In a desire to remain free, he traveled out of state," Esmeraude said clearly, speaking straight to the camera

Mamoru finally scooped up the phone, "When the hell did this happen?"

Nick was somehow still on the line, "I've already sent Jason your way. He should be there any minute now; he'll explain it to you. I need to do damage control. I'll talk to you later," Nick said in a rush, hanging up quickly as if he had been doing something else at the same time.

Mamoru sighed and closed the phone, listening as Esmeraude continued to be interviewed by the journalist.

"What of the charge that he was involved in the Shields' family crash?"

"He has no idea whatsoever where this accusation came from. Diamond Chambers says he was in no way involved; he was utterly devastated when the Shields family was proclaimed dead. They were close friends of Diamond, Darien Shields was only two years younger than him," she paused and took a deep breath, there was a flash of terror in her eyes, but it disappeared before he placed it and she continued

"Recent news has come about also that Darien Shields is alive and well, but for some reason convinced that Diamond was behind the death of his family. However, why has Darien Shields been in hiding this long? One has to wonder what his intentions are if he never pressed charges- maybe that he was the one to blame after all," Esmeraude had an uncharacteristically somber look on her face as she looked at the camera, showing all her "sorrow"

Mamoru flushed angrily, biting down on his tongue to prevent himself from reacting in a way that would end with him destroying the room, "That son of a bitch" he spat harshly, his hands clenching tightly.

The journalist across from Esmeraude sat frozen in his chair, obviously not expecting her response. She continued on as if he had asked her another question.

"As per the charges of fraud, bribery and stock control. Diamond is completely innocent. If you look, there will be no proof of any of this. All of these charges are lies, hurtful lies made to force Diamond Chambers from his business. But, Diamond says that he is not going to back down till he is proclaimed innocent- as he is," Esmeraude smiled innocently one last time at the camera

The interview faded to the TV studio, where a news anchor was ready, "And with these proclamations, Esmeraude Clark has almost cleared Diamond Chambers' name. We must wonder, is it a farce? Or, possibly the charges were lies," her voice changed to a lighter tone, "In other news, is the drinking water clean-"

Mamoru fell onto the couch behind him, rubbing his face blearily, muttering to himself.

"That evil-" Usagi said from the other couch, her face still frozen on the TV, "He's home free, isn't he?"

Mamoru groaned in response, "Should have known this was coming," he muttered half to himself

A car pulled into the driveway, and soon they heard steps on the driveway. A harried knock sounded on the door.

Mamoru was up and pulling open the door before Usagi had moved an inch, almost seeming frozen in her seat.

Jason walked in, dripping as he did with the large thunderstorm going on just beyond the door, "You don't mind, do you, Usagi?" he asked from his stop on the mat

Usagi shook her head wordlessly, looking at Jason-but at the same time not.

"When did it happen?" Mamoru asked as Jason pulled off his shoes and sat on the couch across from Usagi.

"Early this morning. Early enough to catch all the people who headed out to work at six," Jason said worriedly, his eyes were on Usagi who was staring blankly at him.

"How did she even get there? We've had an APB out on her ever since Diamond ran," he snapped, his lack of sleep and the present situation getting to him. What the hell were they going to do now?

"We don't know," Jason snapped back, "That isn't even the biggest problem"

Usagi's eyes widened at his words, "More?" she whispered, looking at Jason

Jason bit his lip, "Usagi, maybe I should just talk to Mam-"

"Jason!"

"The charges have been cleared"

"What?" Usagi and Mamoru said at the same time, their voices barely above whispers

"We had to drop the charges. Before Esmeraude went on air, we had a slight computer malfunction…"

"A slight malfunction?" Mamoru asked, his eyes narrowing

"Everything was cleaned. All the proof- it just vanished"

Usagi gave a short gasp.

"Along with all the paper proof,"

Mamoru released a slew of curses, his fists clenched tightly.

"By this afternoon, Diamond will be walking free," Jason spat

Mamoru couldn't take it. After everything they had done, this was how it was going to end? God, he wanted to kill Chambers.

He felt his anger build up threateningly and he finally released it, whirling around and punching the wall. Except it turned out into a slide on the rough wall, leaving bleeding wounds along his knuckles.

"Shit" he moaned. It felt like he had plunged his hand into a fire and then held his knuckles in it for a good minute.

"Are you an idiot?" Jason said, glaring at Mamoru, his eyes flickering to Usagi and back to Mamoru.

Mamoru just groaned, his teeth clenched as he tightened his fist- still wanting to hit something.

Usagi got up without a word and walked to the kitchen, passing by Mamoru without a word or glance. Mamoru stared after her, then furrowed his eyebrows as she returned with a white box in her hands. She pulled out the wrap she had used to bind her elbow.

She finally looked up at Mamoru. It was a guarded look, one that told him nothing.

"Come here," she finally said, looking away. Mamoru approached, holding his hand gingerly.

She cleaned it with some antiseptics and then bound it tightly with the wrap, and Mamoru only felt slight twinges of pain as she did so.

"Thanks," he said when she finished. She nodded once and went back into the kitchen.

Damn, her responses were driving him up the wall. He had totally rejected her the night before- why was she binding his injuries so caringly?

"What was that about?" Jason asked quietly. He had had the tact to stay quiet while Usagi bandaged Mamoru up, but he would have been stupid not to realize the tension in the room.

"Nothing," Mamoru said, looking away from the kitchen. They heard the water start running.

"She's keeping herself busy," Jason realized, "Trying to not think about it"

"What the fuck are we going to do, Jase?" Mamoru asked quietly, pain easily noted in his voice

"Zach and Nick are formulating plans as we speak. I think you should head over there. They'll probably need you to stall the bigwigs,"

Mamoru nodded slowly, then glanced back at the kitchen, "Usagi?"

"Kevin is getting the other girls. And the two of us will be staying with them here. I have a feeling if Diamond is going to attack, today is his best bet," Jason said quickly and quietly, "He has to be near. Usagi is the person of interest right now- more danger now than before. Have you spoken to her about coming out?"

Mamoru shook his head, "There's no chance. She is not plastering her face around the world so Diamond can ostracize her publicly"

"Is that you or her talking?" Jason snapped, "If we don't do this now, there may be no chance to do it again. And you and Usagi are the only ones who can get it done"

"Not right now. And not like this," Mamoru said, "If we do it now, we jump the gun. Everyone will think it's a ploy to press Diamond. Which technically it will be. We have to give it a chance to blow over"

"I don't know, Mamoru," Jason looked at him skeptically, "I just think you're trying to get out of revealing the truth"

"Well, I'm not," Mamoru retorted, but deep down he knew he was. It would be revealed that he had run, like the sissy he was, when his family had been murdered- he couldn't face hearing the world saying that about him.

"If you say so, Mamoru. But don't let Usagi be dragged down with you in this," Jason said as he retreated into the kitchen without a look back.

He entered the room to find Usagi scrubbing a shining pan, steam rising horrendously from the water. There was a completely blank look on her face as she scalded her hands.

"Usagi!" he shouted, rushing to her and pulling her away from the water. The pot crashed to the floor, slopping water around the floor. Jason winced as the heat from the water touched his feet. It had been scalding.

Usagi remained unresponsive, her hands still held out before her, bright red.

"Usagi!" he said, giving her a shake.

She looked up at him blankly, her eyes not recognizing him.

"It's okay. We won't let him get you," he said softly, holding her face in front of his, "I promise"

She blinked and attempted to walk away from Jason.

"No," he said, pulling her back, "You're not listening to me. Diamond may walk free, but he won't get you. Not with us here"

She remained still in his hands, not even looking at him anymore.

"Usagi! Listen to me!"

He growled protectively. He knew he shouldn't have told her.

"He is not winning this!" he said, forcing her to look at him

She pulled away, this time much stronger than before.

"Usagi, please," he begged, "Don't be like this"

She walked out of the room quickly, her hands clenched together. Her hands were still red.

Jason ran after her, "What do I need to say to make you believe me?" he begged her, stopping her by standing in front of her

"Nothing. There is nothing," she said with no emotion in her voice, "Just like there'll be nothing left when he gets me"

"He won't!"

Mamoru emerged into the room, dressed and ready to leave, his eyes widened in wonder as he took the scene in front of him, "What's going on?"

Emotion flashed in her eyes and Usagi huffed and turned again, clambering past Mamoru and up the stairs.

"Mamoru! She's going into shock or something," Jason said, "You've been with her longer, maybe she'll trust you"

Mamoru grimaced and Jason narrowed his eyes, "What did you do to her?"

"Maybe I'm not the best person to talk to her right now…" Mamoru said quietly, turning around

"So you're going to leave her like this? While she's losing it because of us!?" Jason shouted at his back, wanting to do nothing more than punch his best friend out. Mamoru could be very thick-skulled sometimes, once an idea got into him, it would be a long time before it left him- if it ever did. He was very passionate with the things he wanted- sometimes too passionate. Jason could still see the fury at Chambers boiling in Mamoru's eyes- pushing everything else to the back. But with Usagi, Jason wouldn't allow it. He didn't care what Mamoru wanted- he wasn't going to let Usagi be hurt by Mamoru this way.

Mamoru froze, sighed and turned to walk up the stairs. Jason was right- of course. He owed it to Usagi to help her, especially since this was probably killing her just as much as it was killing him. Her whole life was on hold because Diamond was obsessed with getting her- and it would be till he was behind bars.

"Usagi?" Mamoru said, knocking on the door quietly

There was no response and he knocked again.

"Go away," her quiet voice said thickly. He couldn't tell if she was crying or trying not to.

He opened the door quietly, "Are you okay?" She sat on her bed, her head in her hands, her hair covering her face from his view.

"Get out!" she cried, chucking a pillow at him without looking up

He sighed resignedly as he picked up the pillow from the floor where it had fallen short from reaching him and approached the bed slowly, "It's okay, Usa"

She didn't respond, face still buried in-

"Oh my god, what happened to your hands?" Mamoru gasped as he pulled her hands away from her face.

They were bright red. "What did you do, Usagi?"

"Nothing," she spat, pulling them back to her, wincing as she did so.

Horror washed over him. What had he done?

She was- she was the most perfect thing he had ever known- and he had destroyed her. Both him and Diamond had. Fury bubbled in him at that thought.

He couldn't have that. He had to make her understand that they still had power- they had to have. There was no way he was letting Usagi go down the road he had after his family had been killed. He would not let her experience that pain as he had. Years upon years it had taken him to get over the feeling of uselessness- but Usagi wasn't useless. He had known that all along- and she deserved to know as well.

"You're coming with me to the guys," Mamoru ordered then, "We're going to see what we can do to make sure Diamond doesn't make it free"

She looked up at him finally, her eyes wide, "What?"

"Get showered and dressed. Be ready in ten minutes. I'll be waiting," he said, "There's a lot to do. So hurry"

She didn't move, still frozen. Her beautiful eyes were blank as he looked into them- but he could see the pain hiding right behind it. He couldn't let her wallow- he had done enough of that for the both of them.

"Please, Usagi," he said quietly, bending down so he was level with her, "He can't get out of this. Not with what he's done to you"

She nodded swiftly, her eyes changing from blankness to drive. He couldn't make sure the pain wouldn't come back- but he could give her something else to focus on, and maybe, just maybe that would be enough.

He gave her a sad smile and exited the room, walking back downstairs.

"Is she okay?" Jason asked as Mamoru entered the living room.

"She is," Mamoru said quietly

"What did you do to her, Mamoru?" Jason asked from the couch, looking up in worry, "She's not the same"

"I…uh…"

"Mamoru!" Jason snapped, shooting up to his feet in anger

"She kissed me and I sort of…"

"You didn't push her away!?" Jason whispered in disbelief, "Are you fucking insane, Chiba?"

"What?" Mamoru asked confusedly, "It was only a kiss"

"Only a kiss? ONLY a kiss?" Jason hissed, "Are you dense, Mamoru? Do you know what a kiss means to anyone human?"

"Uh…"

"To push someone away during a kiss means that you don't like them- that you don't want them, at all. And with someone as hurt at Usagi…you must have killed her," Jason said angrily to Mamoru, standing up to his full height.

Mamoru almost cowered at Jason's anger, "I…" he said quietly

Jason threw his hands up in complete annoyance, "Were you shut off all your life from all people of the opposite sex?"

"No," Mamoru pouted

"Well, it sure as hell looks like you were!" Jason spat

"It's fine. She'll get over it," Mamoru said, shrugging. He was so totally trying to convince himself of that as well.

"Get over it, Mamoru? Are you saying that there is absolutely no love for that girl in you?" Jason said, tilting his head. He wasn't stupid. There was something big between the girl and his friend. Mamoru was just too dense to see it- or he was completely avoiding it.

"What does it matter, Jase? We are in a state of panic at the moment. Who cares if I feel a little something for that strong woman up there? If it goes wrong-" he broke off, his heart constricting at the thought. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

"So that's what you're afraid of…" Jason said sadly, "You're scared of letting her into your heart"

"No!" Mamoru snapped, turning around and walking to the door, "Just tell Usagi I'm waiting in the car" he strode out angrily and walked to his car, leaning against it exhaustedly, not even caring that it was pouring and he was getting soaked.

What had he done? He asked himself this question repeatedly. He couldn't even remember what had gone through his mind when Usagi had kissed him, except that he had never felt anything stronger than the force that was gluing him to her. It had taken him all the strength in his body to pull away from her sweet lips. The single thought that had flashed through his mind was seeing her lying in front of him, sobbing.

He had pulled away- with extreme difficulty and left the room. He sat in his room, listening to hear when Usagi came up…but she never did. He lay awake half the night, thinking deeply…his feelings for her were more intense than anything he had ever experienced before…and truthfully, it scared him.

But he didn't know truly why he had pulled away…why he had broken her heart like that…and his own?

He groaned tiredly. Everything was going to hell. Usagi hated him. And worst of all, Chambers was actually doing exactly as he had said- getting away with it.

He thought again of what Jason had said to him. Maybe he was only scared of what would happen if he came out. He was Darien Shields, and seeing him would bolster the movement against Chambers. But Usagi…was she ready enough for it? Everything Chambers had done to her was still at the forefront of her mind, and going public with it would dredge up a lot. Especially since they would attack her on all fronts.

But…they'd keep each other strong. His memories flashed to the girl that had fought him off easily. They'd keep each other smiling.

They'd be in it together.

Together.

Mamoru smiled. He liked that word

He stood in the rain, his face upturned to the sky, wondering for the answers to his questions.

Usagi exited the house, her hair billowing behind her weakly, still wet. Her hands were covered with relief lotion and she hurried over to Mamoru, "Ready" she stated.

"Usagi…I'm really sorry about last night," he said quietly. She froze, looking at him with fear in her eyes, as if afraid he would hurt her…it broke his heart to see her look at him like that. She had never looked at him like that- not when he had waved a gun around in front of her, not when he had betrayed her trust so completely- only now. He vowed he would do whatever he could to erase that look of fear from her eyes.

"I don't know what I was doing. I…I do care for you," he said slowly, wanting to actually shout it from the rooftops. Caring for her was an understatement to how he really felt for her.

"It's okay," she said quietly, looking up at him, slight color in her cheeks, "I understand"

He smiled, he had known she would. She was the most understanding person. He didn't even know how she looked past all he did to her. First the bug, then this. God, he was horrible.

"Let's go kick some Chambers ass, why don't we?" he said as he opened the car door for her

"Can we get anything done?" she asked quietly, "They've already turned the public towards Diamond again"

"That's why we have to go turn them back towards us," Mamoru explained, "It's time to come out completely. Both of us. Together. Usagi Tsukino and Darien Shields"

She looked up at him and he had the sudden desire to know exactly what she was thinking.

"Are you sure?"

He shook his head, "You ask me if I'm sure? You're the one who's going to be in danger because of this"

She spread her hands, "Mamoru, I'm always in danger. Especially if I sit still and do nothing. I need to do something…or risk losing it completely. I don't even know what happened to me just now," she indicated at her hands, "I can't have that happen again"

He looked down at his own right hand, which was wrapped, "Bandages work quite well," the look she gave him told him she knew he wasn't talking exactly about the physical bandage. Covering the pain with some other emotion was exactly what he always did, as did Usagi.

"Only for a bit," she responded, looking away. He closed his eyes wearily, knowing it was the truth. They would have to talk about it sometime- he just hoped it wouldn't be any time soon. He still had to sort out his own feelings- which were some sort of indescribable stew, nothing making sense when words came out.

He loved her...but did he love her enough to place her before everything else, as she deserved? Would he put her safety before his revenge, or would his revenge consume her along with him? At the moment, he couldn't help but fear it was the latter.

He was obsessed with getting Chambers- and Usagi was smack dab in that, meaning he would only put her in danger to get what he wanted first and foremost...right? He mentally groaned at himself, still none of his emotions made any sense.

"As you said, let's go kick some Chamber ass," she said, saving him from probably standing in front of her for the next 24 hours trying to figure out his feelings for the beauty. He would have to think about it in depth someday- but right now, she needed him for something more important than him trying to figure out his emotions. They had work to do.

"Let's," he agreed and opened the car door for her

The next few minutes flew by as he drove top speed to the apartment complex that the others would be. They chatted inconsequentially for the drive, having no desire to make it serious.

They had found their safe spot pretty soon after that disaster last night.

Mamoru wondered, if Esmeraude hadn't shown up when she did, would they have spoken at all? Probably not, he mused. When they gave each other the 'silent' treatment, it was intense- in a good way. The past weeks had been peaceful, and they had lived next to each other in comfort. But he knew it couldn't go on for long- they wanted too much from each other. He wanted her in his life, to talk to him, to laugh at him, her blue eyes twinkling as she talked to him. And he knew she wanted at least some of that with him as well. They were too close now- and only time would tell how it would all end.

He had never met anyone like Usagi. Someone so beautiful and strong, yet tenderly loving and pure. But the scary thing was, he couldn't even truly describe what she was in words. She was so much more than anyone he had met before.

He pulled into the parking lot, hurrying Usagi up to the apartments. It was a mess when they stepped into the apartment. Men were running all over the place, papers in each hand, shuffling through them.

Zach sat typing away, as usual, but Mamoru had never seen him type so fast with such an annoyed and angered look on his face. Nick sat on the kitchen desk, going through his files crazily. He stopped when he noticed Usagi and Mamoru in the room.

"Thank god you're here, Mamoru," he said, "It's a mess"

"What's going on?"

"There's nothing left. It's a disaster. Our files just vanished- in a night!" he cried, chucking the file he held in his hand to the floor angrily

"They must have gotten in last night then," Mamoru said calmly, "That's the only explainable thing. It was a planned attack. They were waiting till we let our guard down and then attacked"

"All isn't lost," Zach's harried voice came from behind them

Everyone turned to stare at him expectantly; he beckoned Nick, Usagi and Mamoru closer.

"I backed everything up a few dozen times. Somehow all of them were deleted. Except for one," he said quietly as he pulled something from his neck, revealing a cross.

"Aren't you an atheist?" Nick asked confusedly

Zach slipped off the cross from the chain, and pulled the top off, "It's a USB" he explained

"Where'd you get that?" Nick asked, looking at Zach with a knowing look on his face

"It was a gift," Zach muttered, looking uncomfortable

"From a certain blue-haired beauty?" he asked

Usagi gave a crow of delight, "AMI gave you that!?"

"Um...not that this isn't interesting..." Mamoru mumbled hesitantly, "But isn't it at least not the best time?"

Zach nodded eagerly, getting right back into his business mode. "We still have one copy of everything," he whispered, looking around hesitantly.

"You are-"

"Shh!" Zach ordered Nick, who had probably been about to scream about how smart Zach was, "We can't reveal it yet"

"Why not?" Mamoru asked, "We should get it to the bosses"

He shook his head, "C'mon, Mamoru. Haven't you realized it yet? Whoever is screwing us over is someone big. There's no way just anyone could have traced down all of my backups"

"So what do we do?" Usagi asked quietly, "We can't just accept defeat like this?"

"We go public. Completely. Everything revealed," Nick exclaimed, "Not even Chambers or whoever this mystery traitor is can cover everything up like that"

"We do that and we're likely to lose our jobs," Zach said sadly.

The men looked at each other, then at Usagi and a similar look passed through their eyes.

"Let's do it," Nick said quietly, "I'm not sitting back and letting Chambers make fools out of us like this"

"Likewise," Zach said, looking at Mamoru and Usagi, "And we're not leaving the two of you to fend alone"

Usagi felt her heart constrict, "You guys don't have to," she whispered tenderly, "I don't want you guys to suffer for something that-"

"It's our fight too, Usagi," Nick cut her off, smiling slightly, "It was the second we met Mamoru and the second you called us monsters. We did all that for a reason. And it is not going to be in vain," his eyes were full of something Mamoru couldn't identify- but he could have sworn it was love

Zach nodded in agreement, "We have to. It's the right thing to do- more so than keeping a job in a corrupt environment. Lives depend on this, and we're not leaving Mamoru without backup"

Mamoru struggled to keep his face empty. He had never expected his friends to give up everything for him. They had been his life for so long, he hadn't realized how much he meant to them as well.

"Guys-" Mamoru tried to but Nick didn't even let him speak, "Shut it, Mamoru. We're sticking with you"

"Nick, call up Kevin and Jason over the secure line and see what they say. I'm pretty sure it'll be the same as us. Tell them to secure Usagi's house, friends and family- and stay with them till our say so," Zach said,

"What about afterwards?" Nick asked him quietly

"Pack up all of our stuff. It's going to be just us soon enough. We're going to have to guard the girls and the Tsukinos"

"And us?" Usagi asked

"We're going on a trip," Zach said as he got up with shine in his eyes.