New policy: R&R for an R&R. It seems fair because many of my reviewers/readers do good work and never get reviews. Now I will help them as they have helped me!
(This goes a bit slow at the beginning but it gets into the infamous TMA humor!)
Pretty damn long. You're going to need ANOTHER tub of popcorn….make it ultra buttered.
Anime Questions Answered
WARNING: There will be 'lemons' in this chapter.
If you don't like it then I am sorry and I guess you have to wait for the next chapter. Poor easily offended you.
QUESTION: Why does the promise of lemons (sexual situations) rake in so many reviews?
Miroku and Sango were sitting on a hill at sunset.
Naraku had disappeared and was presumed dead, Kohaku had been revived, Kagura free to get it on with Sesshomaru and fly around even though we all know she died in the manga, the jewel was hanging out somewhere just being itself; all that good stuff.
Why no one was with them on such a beautiful, death free evening was a mystery. They were just sitting there enjoying the beautiful rainbow shades of the gorgeous sunset. You know its simple beauty taking their breath away, lovely in all ways, yadda, yadda, etc.
Miroku however was looking at something else gorgeous; his beloved, his one and only, his Sango. For some reason lately, he had been looking at more than her butt. He noticed her beautiful, full, pink, coral colored lips and her shining, bright eyes. Her figure was nothing to complain about either with its dainty curves and firm toned muscles.
She was a knockout, ready to knock anything out. That was what he loved about her (well only some of the time, considering that he wanted a free squeeze occasionally.)
Yes, for some reason Miroku decided he truly loved Sango. He wanted her and her alone. Miroku wanted…commitment. The promised ten or twenty children that would come with said 'commitment' were only coincidental.
Sango was not oblivious to Miroku's penetrating stares. It thrilled her that her fiancée could finally look but not touch.
With his sculpted, angel like body and deep, unusually purple eyes, it was incredibly hard to resist that touch. After a while, it was somewhat annoying but Sango would never admit to the thrill that ran through her each time.
Being groped harshly and painfully was after all a huge turn on. Didn't you know?
And so a conclusion can be reached;
He was beautiful,
She was beautiful,
Their babies were gawn to be smokin'.
Miroku cleared his throat breaking the serene tranquility.
"Sango," he began hesitantly.
"Yes Houshi-sama?" Sango remained ever polite and proper using only the honorific term a monk of his stature deserved. When they would finally marry, she could then call him things like 'dear' and other pet names. She had never even said his first name except to herself. And occasionally Kagome. Sometimes to Shippo, InuYasha, Sesshomaru, Naraku, Kohaku, Jakotsu, Bankotsu, the little birdies in the trees and complete strangers. Just never to Miroku. 'Cause it's disrespectful.
"I kinda just decided that the only woman I ever want is you. I WANT TO BE FAITHFUL," he shouted the last sentence, even though it probably should have been whispered in a lust filled way. He paused dramatically as Sango stared at him as though he were on crack.
"Oh and sex is still important so I have to say 'I love you.' Thus so dearest Sango, I love you. Now let us use fancy adjectives to describe each other's eyes!" He clasped her hands and stared deeply into her twin orbs of mahogany.
His purple gems shone brightly. Sango's amazing organs of vision were filled with love. Miroku's visible area of the eye, which allows the power of sight stood out against his ruggedly, handsome face.
"Huh? Can you say that again? I was staring at the pimple on your chin." She pointed to a giant pimple throbbing and infected on his jaw like a huge, red caution sign.
"Um I love you?" It was more of a question as Miroku watched Sango stared intently at his "passage to manhood" in the form of blemishes.
"Oh, really? That's nice." She sat quietly for a moment still staring at the pimple…with hunger.
"YOU'RE MINE!" Miroku grinned on the inside. Saying 'I love you' to a woman really does help! Sango pinned him down.
"Oh no Sango," Miroku cried helplessly, "Don't- not my nipples." He gasped for air. "They're so sensitive. San-
She popped the pimple.
"There, now I feel a lot better." Sango flopped down on the ground in a very unSango like manner and sighed.
"Sango you always knew how to turn me on." She looked him up and down, and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
They then sat awkwardly for several moments. The sun had set, the crickets chirped for mates and overall it was a midsummer night's dream…Japanese style only none of the stupidity.
Once again, no one questioned why it was sunset and then suddenly close to midnight. Sango must have popped the pimple in slow motion.
"Well um I've touched you in a playful way, and admitted to sexual attraction and you voiced your deep love for me." Sango paused for a moment trying to word the next phrase carefully.
"So we're supposed to enjoy the wild passion of a man and woman?" Miroku nodded.
"We've reached the criteria and even though I am incredibly protective of my womanly maidenhood I will now have sex out of wedlock and possibly become impregnated!" They both nodded professionally and stripped down.
"I, myself, will now admit to being a virgin even though it contradicts my ability to pimp women of higher status in scarcely a moment." He turned to Sango with lust in his eyes and promise of pleasure on his lips.
"Now I will ravage your body in a way only Japanese virgins can!"
Miroku touched her mound. Nothing. He flicked her 'bud of pure pleasure.' Sango yawned. Then he took the mountain of human carnal pleasure and rubbed it to satisfaction. She began to file her nails.
"Um you're supposed to moan and stuff." Sango looked up from her incredibly engaging book.
"Oh I'm sorry this book is really good." She put down 'Cat in the hat' and cleared her throat.
"Alright I'm ready." He poked her on her breast's underside.
"YUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! BRING IT!!! OH YEAAAA!!" Her back arched and she was instantly covered in sweat. A breeze blew by and dried the liquid, leaving her with horrible, terrible, yucky B.O.
Miroku luckily did not notice or he would have run for the hills in search of another woman. Their circular, globe perfection kept him entranced. With every labored breath, the heavy mounds jiggled causing his blood to circulate from his brain to his organ that caused all feeling and all manly sorrows. His thoughts grew more simplistic as the blood went to his "head" (in this case, the little head) until the most coherent deliberation he had was "boobies he he he."
Then right as he was about to take off the underwear, which did not exist in feudal Japan and had supposedly removed before their wild endeavor, Sango jumped on top of him once more. With a click, furry handcuffs trapped his manly hands behind his manly back.
"Lady Sango, why do you have handcuffs," he asked passively in a manly way. Even though he was not in charge like a manly man would be Sango was still proving her young, maidenly love… with manliness!
"Kagome," she replied simply before spanking him, "And you must call me Mistress."
Miroku's eyes widen and his manly manhood of manhoodness grew exponentially. Which is funny because the average penis in real life is six and a half inches erect and in Hentai it's ten inches so we're talking twenty odd inches of man meat.
(No TMA did that wrong…sorry Mr. Gilmore….)
"Hell yeahhhhh." Sango, who was suddenly dressed in leather bondage, spanked him again with a paddle, with several holes in it. It was drilled for better movement against the wind and more smackage power made the whole experience more shockingly pleasant. And it made a cool whistling noise!
"Call me mistress!!!" She smacked him again. Miroku's smile widened.
"I love you, mistress!" And so they made sweet, kinky love into the night until they both had such bad B.O from their profuse sweating that the soft grass they had been resting their bodies on shriveled up and died.
Naturally, Sango became pregnant and immediately knew the next day. They married and had the twenty or so children promised to Miroku. Fooled ya, he really just wanted sex-not commitment and he got both!
Before their joyous union of wedlock and during their union of flesh several something elses happened.
Kagome and InuYasha were shaking violently and cowering as they heard the smacks and screams coming from the hilltop. Sango and Miroku had been going at it like cats in heat for several hours and Kagome was timing it to see if they would surpass the "Longest Amount of Time Japanese People Spent on Hentai Activities" World Record with ten hours and thirty-two minutes as the highest amount. Sailor Moon and Sailor Venus be damned; they would win!
Kagome was clutching Inuyasha's arm desperately and thus rubbing her well-developed breasts against his taunt biceps.
Naturally, it began to rain as though to throw cold water on Sango and Miroku. It had the opposite effect because who doesn't like sweet; sweet, bondage sex in the cold, driving rain?
Kagome's white shirt (that everyone believes makes her a total slut) immediately became see through. Her bra was white too so naturally there was two pink-nosed puppies covered by gauze and a pretty horny dog too. For some reason Kagome failed to notice her own nipple erection and InuYasha's obvious discomfort.
After all, he knew that despite all her sacrifices for him, her tears, words, kindness, and her admitting to love for him before she tightly hugged him and kissed him, that she would never love a worthless, half-breed. Especially if you ignored that, she was wet, holding onto him for dear life, and about to enter heat in three! Two! One! Attention ladies and gentleman the human version of heat has now been entered. Prepare yourself for some mad smex.
Despite the fact that humans cannot go into heat Kagome went into heat as she always does. Naturally, to InuYasha it smelled sweet, lovely and "oh-my-god-I-wanna-take-you-home-bitchhhh-ish." Bitch being a nice term where he meant that he lurved her fo' eva and wanted to have her babies.
See, Inu is a nice guy! He would put up with male pregnancy just for Kagome. Now that's saying something because dogs have entire litters- sometimes up to ten fuzzy balls of joy (or more.)
Right as InuYasha was about to go full demon on her and totally ravage her body, (even though he had Tessaiga and his life was not in jeopardy) Kouga came by.
And thus a battle as old as time ensued.
"RAWR! My woman," yelled InuYasha as he tugged on Kagome's arm.
"Mine!" Kouga pulled over the other. Kagome swayed back and forth, growing very nauseous.
"Mine!"
"No mine!"
"I said she's mine!"
"Well I KNOW she's mine!"
"You're ugly!"
"You smell funny! And she's minnneeee!" They both tugged harder as the harsh, biting insults flew back and forth.
They continued their manly fight 'till the death when suddenly (and "surprisingly") Kagome threw up.
"Eww, I'm gotta here. I'm gonna go find Ayame. At least she doesn't throw up." Kouga left to go confess his newly found love to Ayame. Kagome continued to hurl.
"Kagome, why are you puking up your intestines?" Wowwweee, InuYasha was concerned about her. How 'bout that?
She turned to him tearfully and jumped into his arms while still puking.
"Oh –hurllll- InuYasha," she sobbed while staining his kimono with bits of ramen and fish. If you are what you eat then Kagome is a fish covered in salt saturated noodles.
"Uh what," he asked intelligently as he enjoyed getting boobs rubbed against his chest again. In every lemon, his chest gets the rub down. He was like a pampered dog.
There was no answer.
"I SAID WHAT GOD DAMN YOU, YOU SEXY WOMAN I WISH TO COPULATE WITH INTO THE NIGHT!" When she didn't reply again he finally looked up.
Why was it that whenever he confessed his love in any form –subtle or not- she was always gone? Why didn't he notice that his chest wasn't being rubbed any more anyways? Why ask all this questions with no answers? Because we can.
"Where the hell are you?" he finally yelled. Obviously, there was no reply because if you are not around, then you don't hear someone, so you can't reply because you didn't hear it in the first place.
Surprisingly despite her absence and inability to hear him Kagome screamed, "InuYasha! Naraku took me for some unknown reason!!"
"Wait I thought he was dead!"
"Who cares about the plot holes!? Come save me!" He paused, actually thinking about the situation for once.
"Okay, I'll make sure to arrive after you've been tortured and almost completely broken in body, mind, and spirit."
"Alright it's a date!" Their first date was InuYasha retrieving her from an evil, psychotic man's grip. At least it was a start.
"Kukukuku hahahaha hohohoho (Merry Christmas) hehehehe Hohohohoh Mwhahahahaha." Naraku was standing in front of a bound-and-gagged Kagome doing his favorite past time- evil laughing.
They were in a stereotypical, evil, dark basement thing. There were all sorts of evil-looking things in the evil, dark basement thing, which made it more evil and dark.
"Why are you holding me here," Kagome asked-demanded. After all, she was in heat and that made her pissy. She just wanted to go back to InuYasha and get it onnnn.
"How can you talk through your gag?" She looked at him.
"Oh right plot holes…ummm…KU KU KU HAHAHAHAHAH WMHAHAHAAHAH!!" He answered his own question before throwing his head back to continue his eerie, evil laughter. Which wasn't too eerie because he kept tehehe-ing.
"Te hehehe giggle giggle giggle! I'm gonna take yo' virginitaaa!"
Then to make himself sound less girly, Naraku pulled off his shirt. Naturally, his God-like body fascinated Kagome. It is after all God-like despite the fact that he was an evil being and almost the exact opposite of a god. But it still fascinated her with you know, the rippling muscles, its solid build that wasn't too 'Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime.' That would be creepy and no one wants to be creeped out before sex, even if it is with his or her archenemy. She however failed to notice his pink, stuffed bunny tattoo. That was probably a good thing considering the "Creeped out before sex" concept.
"Uhh why? It won't benefit you in any way because it will provide the opportunity to purify you and give me a reason to avenge myself against you!"
"Mhhmmm. Let's just say you can't purify me right now because of that chain around your neck that hasn't been mentioned yet." Kagome sighed. A chain suddenly appeared around her neck.
The reason he wanted to molest her was still unstated and there probably WAS no reason. Is there ever a reason behind Kagome being molested?
"It gets tiresome that you have all these toys that turn InuYasha into a human, that you can physiologically harm Sango using her brother, you could kill Miroku instantly, and that for some reason you can make my unstoppable priestess purifying powers go away."
"I'm Naraku; I can apparently do anything. Now where were we?" Kagome shrugged.
"Something about my virginity?"
"Ah yes." He moved a tentacle towards her. She began to scream like a squawking bird.
It moved closer and closer…and Kagome clenched her eyes shut because for the millionth time she was going to be raped by a tentacle and lose her virginity to Naraku.
She began to scream because verb; it's what you do. Then the tentacle poked her. Kagome opened an eye reluctantly.
It poked her again. A bunch of tentacles appeared and they kept poking her everywhere, her feet, her arms, legs, and just about everywhere PG 13. Suddenly Kagome was über ready for her rape. 'Ready' meaning her screams weren't out of fear anymore.
"Ahhh Yeahh!! Grrrr!! Roarr!!!" This some how translated to "I want you because you undoubtedly turned me on by poking me with really gross appendages that look and smell funny."
"If you insist my dear." The tentacles moved away, as he stepped forward. Now Kagome felt especially horrible for being horny because she spotted the bunny tattoo. She also felt bad because it was Naraku; she was betraying her friends, the hurt InuYasha would feel, etc.
His hand came forward. Everything was tense. All was quiet. When! Suddenly! He groped her left boob, and ran off giggling.
"Hehehe I touched your boobie!!" He continued to giggle, and it made his fluffy, pink bunny tattoo dance around on his chest.
Kagome pouted, and began to scream again. This time it however meant, "Shit InuYasha get me out of here. I'm bored, and Naraku is giggling."
"You bastard!" InuYasha crashed down the stairs heroically. He attempted to jump to the bottom in a sexy, masculine way when his foot caught on the step and he fell all the way down.
"Kagome! I'm here!" He sat up with two of his front fangs chipped, and a bruise forming on his forehead from the fall.
"InuYasha!"
"Kagome!"
"InuYasha!"
"Kagome!"
"InuYasha!"
"Kagome!"
"Naraku!" Kagome and InuYasha paused in their interesting conversation to stare at Naraku.
"Just leave Naraku. No one wants you here." Naraku hung his head, and left the room slowly. His lemon hadn't even been a lemon; it was a lime! He was depressed to no end.
InuYasha unchained Kagome and took her off the stone wall that no one knew she was attached to. He held her by the waist, they stayed still, staring into each other eye's for about three hours before his arms finally fell asleep, and he accidentally dropped her.
She hit the cold ground with an oooofffff. As soon as she recovered, she launched herself into his strong, muscular, manly, toned, built, and strong from years of effort, arms.
"Naraku raped me!"
"Again?" She nodded and somehow forced her breasts to dig even deeper. InuYasha's chest began to bleed from the force.
"Don't let him take me again! I'm so afraid! Please be my pillar of strength while I recover emotionally and physically until we both realize how true our love is and that, we belong together. Then I can finally have consensual sex for once!" He held her up and remained strong before slumping to the ground. His arms were still asleep, dude.
"Being a pillar of strength makes me tired. Can we just skip that and get to the sex? I mean that would take years and you're in heat." Kagome thought about it. She pondered it. While picking something out of her teeth she contemplated the possibilities.
"Well I FEEL pretty healed. Okay!"
They went out into a lovely, flower-filled field in the bright full moon. Butterflies danced through the sky, the grass waved, the flowers smelled good, and over all it was another midsummer's night.
He touched her. She touched him. They both liked it.
The next morning they were very embarrassed though. It was as though they were American virgins, who worried about such things the morning after!
"K-k-k-k-kagome." InuYasha had developed a spontaneous stutter, and could not sound the least bit cocky around Kagome. That's actually funny because "cocky" got him into the trouble in the first place.
"Yes?"
Kagome blushed bright red even though she was not even sitting next to InuYasha, or looking at him, or even within fifty feet of each other. When they woke up, they both vaulted some one hundred feet apart and stayed that way.
"E-e-even t-t-though y-you sh-should b-be in a s-sp-spring a-and na-naked for this, I-I w-w-want t-to s-say t-th-this t-t-to y-y-y-you." Conveniently, the clothing Kagome had been wearing was blown off by a gentle breeze and said breeze knocked her into a spring which just so happened to be there…conveniently.
"Ok…go right ahead." She blushed even harder, which caused her cheeks to turn a strange purplish red. He came around the corner slowly.
She sat in the hot spring waiting for whatever he had to say to her.
"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I T-t-t-t-th-t-think I l-l-lovvvvv-lovvvvv-loveeeee y-y-y-y-y-yo-you!" Her face became a lovely shade of blueish purple. Kagome had forgotten how to breathe.
"I-it's o-o-ok I kn-know you d-don't f-feel t-the s-same w-way." He did not notice Kagome sitting unconscious underwater.
When he finally looked up bubbles were bursting to the surface as if she were farting. Who knew ramen caused gas? After that thought, he noticed she was drowning and he sprang into action to save her.
"I'm coming Kagome!" Actually, he was "coming" last night but it was only a small mistake. InuYasha noticed his mistake, blushed, and corrected himself.
"I mean, I am on my way to save you Kagome!" That's better.
"Guggle drown bubble bubble drown," Kagome replied. InuYasha almost jumped into the water and waded towards her. Then he realized he had to remove all his clothing so it didn't get wet!
He did so and then jumped back into the water (nekked) to save Kagome.
"I'm here Kagome!" He picked her up and laid her on a well-located rock.
"Wake up Kagome! I love you, I don't want to see ANOTHER woman die!!" He rambled on while sobbed pitifully. Kagome had been awake for about a half an hour when he finally finished his speech.
"K-kagome y-you'r-r-re-re a-a-a-a-alive?" His stutter was alive too! Oh happy days!
"Yes and Inuyasha…I…" she trailed off dramatically, "love you too! Now stop stuttering. It isn't a turn on! Take me now!"
"Yes ma'am!" He suddenly began a full demon, and took her virginity (which she really didn't lose) in the spring.
For some reason Kouga came back for Kagome, saw the whole thing, and was heartbroken at the sight and vowed his revenge. He went to find his only method of VENGEANCE!
Despite the fact that Inuyasha wanted to have HER babies, Kagome ended up pregnant. After about six months, (because obviously demons don't have swollen ankles as long) she had three little bundles of joy. They looked like an adorable mix of both her and InuYasha! For their entire lives, they were never criticized for being three quarter blooded and they lived happily ever after. Hooray, what a perfect ending for our favorite teenage parents!
Around the same time, Kouga had found Ayame handily in a cave near his territory/kingdom.
"Ayame." She looked up to see Kouga just his skirt, staring at her with a primal look in his eyes. This primal look was not because he wanted to plunder villages or kill innocent beings. Actually, he wanted to pillage Ayame's village. Oh yeahhhhhh, Kool Aid.
"I bet you want some of this." He licked a finger, touched it on his inner thigh, and made the hissing noise of a hot stove. For some peculiar reason he wanted to show her how hot he was.
Ayame however was entranced by his vivid farmer's tan.
"Kouga," she breathed, "your arms…and your legs."
"Are rippling with taunt muscles that turn you on? I know." He finished her sentence in the way he thought appropriate, and flashed a radiant smile in her direction.
Kouga sauntered towards her with a saucy attitude.
"Ayame, I've been thinking. We really are meant for each other, and I would like to pile of furs you." He looked at the piles of fur members of the wolves tribe use as beds and growled. "Pile of furs you" meaning "bed you" as in have sex with her. You know make babies, and stuff. Hence, he was not saying he wanted to skin her entire body, and use it as a warm blanket. He ain't into that kinky stuff.
"Let me guess. You left for one second and during that time Kagome was kidnapped by Naraku, InuYasha saved her and you didn't, she chose him because loves him and thinks of you only as a friend despite your efforts to woo her, and now you expect me to just take you back after all the hurt, and pain you have caused me." She crossed her arms, and gave him a reproachful look.
He nodded.
"Okay!" They got naked. Her body was ultra hot; you know, triple Fs that were still perky, nice skin despite her lack of consistent hygiene, long muscular legs, the whole deal.
Kouga flipped off his man-skirt, and thong revealing how truly shocking the farmer's tan was. First, it was dark brown and then suddenly whiteness everywhere. His butt was like snow!
Ayame was horrified but immediately felt better when she saw his broad chest, chiseled upper arms, muscley thighs, and a nice big package! Who doesn't love packages?!
For some reason she used her mouth on the package. …Funny, most people use their hands to open it.
Either way it didn't take long for Kouga to say he was finished, and that she did a good job. Most people say "unwrapped" or "untied" and who the hell congratulates someone on unwrapping a giant package?! But Ayame and Kouga are demons, and demons do weird things!
Like all sexual intercourse, he touched her, and she touched him. Unlike most cases, they both got pleasure from it, and actually wanted to do it again, and again…and again. Thus meaning it was some damn good lemon! Nice and tart.
The sun rose and set several times before the two demons finally ran out of stamina. It seems to be the case for all demons. ANYONE would pick InuYasha because of it. He's got cute ears, hot bod', and stamina.
"Wow, I'm tired."
"Me too." They both sighed, and cupped both hands behind their heads.
"I'm ready again."
"You?"
"Hell yeah!" The earth rotated, revolved around the sun, the sun rose and set, and days passed again before Ayame was finally pregnant.
It seems you have to be pregnant for the "Game Over" sign to flash.
"Oh Kouga! We have a child and you love me!" Kouga didn't remember admitting that he loved her but he went along with it.
Poor Kouga didn't have the strength to fight.
Ayame's "stamina" and Fatherhood to twelve did not leave him energy. His will was lost to sex. Ayame had won.
In another part of Japan close by the forest was alive with sounds. Somewhere nestled in the trees and bushes another happy couple did what all couples like to do-sleep.
Sesshomaru sighed quietly, and rolled over in his pink, silk sheets. He cuddled up against the smaller form next to him in bed.
"Mmmmm I, Lord Sesshomaru, just woke up. Ready yet for more of my, Lord Sesshomaru's sweet, tender, really hot and sexy, demon love?" He began kissing the figure's neck, and moaning in a not stoic, unlike Sesshomaru way. People really do act different when they're horny…
"Baby I'm still tired besides Rin has been complaining of noises disturbing her sleep."
"That girl has sharp ears. Just like us, Lord Sesshomaru and Jaken." Sesshomaru snuggled even closer and kissed Jaken squarely on the lips. Their tongues did that weird dance-wrestling thing before they broke apart, gasping for air.
"Lord Sesshomaru, Rin is sleeping on the other side of the fireplace. Rin will hear you no matter how softly you commit such vile acts." She left the proximity, disgusted and wide eyed from seeing an ugly imp, and Sesshomaru naked.
"Well that is taken care of. Now we, Lord Sesshomaru and Jaken, don't have to be quiet." Jaken giggled at the statement, and moved deeper into Sesshomaru's strong arm.
"Why do you love me?" he asked softly, with his love shining hotly in his beady, ugly eyes.
"Because you are beautiful to this Lord Sesshomaru." Sesshomaru gave a rare smile and poked Jaken's misshapen nose.
"Why do you think I wove you, you wittle, sexy thing you!" Sesshomaru asked before kissing Jaken's neck again.
Jaken sighed, and enjoyed his Lord's fangs grazing his neck, and the bleeding that it caused. The blood poured everywhere and made Sesshomaru even less Sesshomaru like, and hornier.
"M' lord because short demons can do it standing up!"
"Exactly." He moved closer to Jaken. Ungodly sounds then filled the air.
In the distance, Rin screeched as she their joyous union of body, spirit, and flesh tainted her mind. She was also upset because she had caught her lovers, Kohaku and Shippo, going at it. That was ok; everyone knew she was destined to be with Kaede. The sexual tension was just BAM!
Rin was wandering around outside a village waiting for Sesshomaru and Jaken to finish their 'lovely expedition.' She accidentally ran into someone.
"Hey baby. How you doin'?" Kaede gave Rin the one over before licking her lips.
Rin's face was one filled with horror.
"What you doin' tooonighttt?" She began to thrust her pelvic bones. One popped out of place in mid-thrust.
"Owww!!!" Kaede fell to the ground. "My 'Feudal Life Insurance" will refuse to cover this! I should switch to "Shikon no Tama Insurance!" They treat you like family, answer your every wish, and give you superhuman powers! Thanks Shikon no Tama Insurance!" She gave a thumbs-up, and winked in the direction of an unknown audience.
"I'll help you." Rin put her hand on Kaede waist and pushed her hip back into place. As the pop of her hip being put back into place sounded, they looked deeply into each other's eyes/eye.
A charge of sexual tension when from Kaede's injured hip through Rin's hand. It circled around them, awaking feelings Kaede had lost in her early fifties to the horrors of menopause and those that Rin had previously not experienced.
"I'm fine and actually, I'm doing nothing tonight. Would you like to change that?" Rin whispered.
"I would." Rin hissed saucily, and moved her hand like a cat scratching someone. Kaede traced a woman's curvy figure in the air before smacking it where the butt would be.
They both moved closer together, and Kaede changed Rin's night for sure!
And so everyone made love into the night, the morning, the afternoon, and the next night again, for the rest of their lives. Until Kaede died of exhaustion and they had to stop for a little while, so they could attend the funeral.
ANSWER: Most of us fanficies are strange beings. Unable to find our partners we turn to stories where nonexistent beings experience something called 'sexual intercourse.' Most pretend tentacles are tainting them and loving every moment while others wish it were they in the m/m/m threesome. An author harnesses their desperateness and gives them exactly what they want to read, thus receiving many reviews for colorful language and for merely rewriting clichés.
So...did you get what you wanted? XD
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Sadly, most of those were more lime than lemon…sadly.
Onto the thanking and what not:
Kometara42: The first mention in the "Reviewer Thank You Thingy" is your prize. YAY you! By the way, thank you for the mass amount of reviews, I am not worthy.
La Auteur De Fantaisie: Thank you for adding me to your favorite authors. Also, is your pen name French?
Kara422: Was this interesting enough? I said vowed because I promised to never post just a large author's note. It makes me sad that I have lost my "author's notes only chapter" virginity.
HoshiToTsuki: I based it off the theory of Large Words And Scientific Phrases which states that I can do what ever I want. XD Well actually I figured that if there was pressure building up and Miroku forcing the pressure then it would cause a blowout like when you shake a soda and open it. Oh, my god...you just asked a sensible question about a pointless story and I HAD a sensible answer...What have I become?
Kanesho: I'll take it into consideration but if it calls to me then I will answer.
Serenityrain2233: Fan fiction messed the format up so I reposted the story properly. You always review so that's what happened to the chapter and your review!
Aangsfangirl1214: Pervert! This is a humor/parody!!! What kind of sex will there be?!
Nekoluver: You hurt my feelings for a moment. I sniffled. But I should have known you would not turn on me! I dare say this would be a mixture of vodka, cocaine, marijuana, and "sugar." In addition, I think cocaine and crack count as the same thing. I'm not too sure because I avoid expertise in that field.
Thank you my lovely reviewers!! Review—nicely as opposed to rudely! You no like then you tell why.
-TMA
Also if you are looking for a horrible read that you will absolutely gag over, check out this: http:// www. fanfiction. net/s/3477559/1/
Just take out the spaces and read away. Don't cry over the pain.