JE deserves all the credit for the wonderful characters below.
Jenny (JenRar) you deserve all the credit for the work you've done as the beta on this story. Thank you!
A/N: I'm sorry about missing yesterday's posting. Most days I do a good job of not letting my real job interfere with my fanfiction, but yesterday I had to be the boss all day and didn't have a single spare moment to update the story. To those of you who reached out to be sure I was all right, thanks, it meant a lot to be missed, especially with all I was doing yesterday. I should probably warn you that Monday's update will be in the M section.
Chapter 14 – Paying Up
"I love you, Ranger," I confessed. "I love you something fierce."
There was a pause where we just looked at each other. There were no dropped jaws or tearful expressions. There was just this moment of connection where we felt as though the truth that we had both carried so privately had finally been released into reality. Saying it out loud didn't make it any more true, nor did it make me feel it any deeper, but it did mean that my last line of defense had been ripped away.
He knew I loved him, and with us both confessing it so clearly, there was no way to take it back if things got hard. If we fought, there was no way to back out and attempt to say the chemistry between us was obviously fading. This wasn't just about sex. Hell, the throbbing between my legs made it abundantly clear that no sex had been involved – yet. This was about that moment in a person's life when they finally understand the old cliché that the truth would set you free. What I'd always thought of as some hokey expression invented by people who hadn't lived an interesting enough life to have skeletons to hide in their closet turned out to be completely true.
I'd held back my feelings for Ranger because I'd always thought confessing them would be relinquishing control over my heart, and I'd had it stomped on enough in the past to want to barricade myself behind some good defenses to prevent a repeat. But this was Ranger. He'd never lied to me. Sure, I knew there were times he knew more than he let on, but he never intentionally mislead me to control me or take away my options. And even when I knew he disagreed with what I wanted to do, once I'd made up my mind, he still moved heaven and hell to support and protect me.
Saying those three little words had been impossible for me in the past because I'd never tried to say them to the right person. Looking into these deep brown eyes, I knew I had the right person this time. I knew the words he'd said to me were just as true. And I could almost see the thoughts passing through his mind that seemed to be running in the same direction as mine. We'd both stepped out on a limb together. Not only did it not break, but we had someone with us now, bonded in a way we didn't understand nor did we need to pick apart.
Drawing in a deep breath I realized the suffocation of a deep emotional conversation I usually felt was absent. If possible, I could have sworn it felt like my heart was full. It sounded silly to say, but it was like having my chest filled with helium. The emptiness that I'd always carried was completely gone, but instead of feeling weighed down like I'd assumed I would when I committed myself to someone, I felt lighter than I ever had.
It was then that I realized one of my hands had moved up to my chest and was resting there. "Do you…" I couldn't figure out how to word my question.
"Definitely," Ranger replied, as though he not only knew what I couldn't put into words, but he felt the same way. The fact that his super ESP was working wasn't surprising. What shocked me was the fact that he attempted to ask me something and struggled to find the right words. "Did you expect…"
I wasn't sure what he wanted to know: did I expect it to feel this way, for it to be this easy, for him to confess like he had? Any of those seemed possible. Of course, the answer to all of them was the same, so I decided to give my mind reading skills a chance and replied, "No, but I have to say, I'm glad I was wrong."
"Me, too, Babe," he said with a tender smile. It would have been nice to know what he meant, but he seemed happy with my answer, so I wasn't going to ruin the moment we had going on here just to clarify.
Alfonzo came by and set a small leather book on the table that I knew contained our bill for the evening. Without even looking at it, Ranger pulled out a credit card and put it in the holder, returning it to the gentleman who had been so charming through our meal and who now seemed to understand that we didn't want additional conversation.
Ranger's hand returned to mine after he handed the book back to Alfonzo, and he began to rub my fingers with his thumb, tracing the shape of my hand as though trying to memorize something about it. "How's your leg feeling tonight?" The question seemed so out of place that I felt like he was asking something entirely different.
Since my intuition had served me so well the last time, I decided to assume his mind was in sync with mine, and I replied, "It's not bothering me at all unless I'm walking fast. So I think it can handle a lot of activity as long as I'm not standing on my feet the whole time."
His grin shifted from tender to predatory in a flash. "So you want to do something strenuous, but off your feet?"
I nodded, not trusting myself if I opened my big mouth.
"I think we are off to a very good start," he replied, catching me off guard.
"How so?" I didn't want to admit that I had no clue what he meant, but I was confused.
"We just confessed how we felt, and already our minds seem to be running in the same direction," he explained, letting one hand move off the table top and down to my uninjured thigh to squeeze it softly.
Alfonzo returned with Ranger's credit card, and after a quick signature and the deposit of a couple of fresh hundred dollar bills for a tip, Ranger stood and held out his hand for me to join him. We moved slowly to the front door, no doubt giving Lester time to get the Explorer in position. After exchanging pleasantries with Alfonzo and promising to return as soon as we could, Cal opened the door for us, stepped out first, and then stepped back to allow us to move into the night behind him.
Watching him move so efficiently, in obviously well-rehearsed acts, I wondered, "There aren't any threats out there that we know about, are there?"
"None besides the usual," Ranger replied calmly. "Why?"
"I didn't even notice Cal in the restaurant, but now that we're back out in the public, he's on some kind of super high alert," I pointed out.
When we climbed in the back, Ranger explained, "Trenton is a nice sized city – big enough to have everything you need and a decent business base for profit, but small enough to be really well known. People on both sides of the track know and respect me – or at the very least, fear my reputation – which affords me a certain amount of protection. If somebody new moved into town, I'd know about it, and the eyes and ears I have on the street would alert me if questions were being asked about my business."
He paused while we got comfortable in the back seat. "In New York, the city is just too big to control in that same way. In certain circles, I'm well known, my business has – or had – a reputation, but that doesn't carry the same weight it would in a smaller city. So when I'm here, my security presence has to be more pronounced. At home, I need to be under the radar when I think there's a threat. Here, I have to assume the threat is already there and protect myself even if I don't know who has me in their sights. It's not the most relaxed way to live, but at least I'm still alive." He paused for a minute and then added, "This kind of thing is part of why I resisted you for so long. It never seemed fair to ask you to ditch your freedom to live with a constant threat of danger every time you left home."
"We should probably clear that up," I began, trying to be sure I had his attention. "You didn't ask me to ditch my freedom. As far as I can tell, I'm still allowed to do whatever I want; you just want me to include taking a guard with me to watch my back. I would want to amend that request that I have some say in who my guard is. I mean, the whole time we were in the restaurant, I didn't even notice Cal or Lester, so when it's called for, they have the ability to blend in. I can live with that. I don't want a group of guys I don't know crowding around me, intimidating the general population so that I feel more like a leper than someone being protected. If it turns into that, I'm warning you now, I'll ditch my detail and run just for the sport of it."
"So as long as you know who is looking out for you and they give you a little space when you're in a more secure setting, then you won't try to ditch them?" he pushed, trying to get a commitment from me.
This seemed important, so I didn't just rush to agree. I took the time to think it through before responding. "When we're away from home, yes. When we're in Trenton, if there's not a known threat, I don't want a constant shadow. You have to be honest with me when something comes up that warrants me having protection around the clock. Even if you can't give me the details about why a person is gunning for you, I still deserve to know that there's a threat to me by association."
A moment passed by in silence as Ranger seemed to be thinking through my counter offer. "I can agree to always let you know if a threat comes up, especially if you can accept the fact that I won't always be able to give you the full history. And in Trenton, I don't see a reason for you to walk around with back-up all the time. But when we get back in town, we're going to need to let the street know you're my woman in more than name. They're going to need to see it for our association to be meaningful everywhere."
"So you're saying that when we get home, I need to be prepared for us to spend a lot of time together and possibly engage in some public displays so the word gets out faster?" I surmised. When Ranger nodded, I told him, "I hardly consider that a burden."
It felt like the ride to the office was twice as fast going back, and before we could get much further in the conversation, Lester was pulling into the garage and transforming back to the laid back guy I knew and loved. "Here we are, folks; please wait for the ride to come to a complete stop before disembarking."
"Anything else tonight?" Cal asked, not quite as ready as Les to drop his on-duty attitude.
Ranger shook his head once from side to side, and Cal smiled. "Then have a great night, and I'll see you tomorrow."
Les and Cal moved to the stairs, while Ranger allowed me to lead him to the elevator. Just before Lester went through the door, he turned back and wagged his eyebrows, basically warning me that something crude was about to be said. "You guys have a good night, and I'll the control room know that if the elevator gets stuck, they should just kill the feed and ignore the little problem."
He dashed out of the garage after poking the tiger with a stick.
"One day, he's going to push me further than our being related can protect, and I'm going to have to apologize to my aunt for breaking her youngest son."
"Maybe I can distract you before it gets to that point," I replied, abruptly changing the subject before Ranger's irritation at Lester could ruin the mood that had begun to build at the restaurant.
When he turned to face me, that single questioning eyebrow was raised. "Distract me?"
"I'm really good at it," I assured him with a smile, backing into the elevator and tugging on his hand so he followed me in.
"I don't doubt that, Babe," he agreed. "I've seen you in action, remember?"
As we began to move up to seven, I pulled him to me and crossed my arms behind his neck, keeping him as close as possible. "But tonight, I'm more determined than usual."
"To what do I owe this determination?" he asked, guiding me to step out of the elevator by putting his hands on my hips and walking slowly enough that our connection could be maintained while I backed up to the door of his apartment.
Ranger fobbed us into the apartment and put his keys in the dish with a loud clank before I responded.
"We've put this off for far too long."
"I couldn't agree more," he replied, wrapping his arms around me to remove the small amount of distance that had been necessary to walk.
"Good." It was hard to keep from smiling before moving my lips up next to his ear and saying, "Then show me the credit card with my RangeMan alias on it."
He froze for a couple of seconds, obviously trying to figure out how he'd been sure we were about to move to the bedroom while I was planning to ask for something entirely different. However, never one to be easily pushed around, he pulled my ear lobe between his teeth for a moment before whispering back, "What makes you think you've earned such a reward?"
I pulled my hands from behind his neck and ran them over his chest before sliding my fingers under the lapels of his jacket and then pushing it off his shoulders. "I did complete the training assignment on both Hal and Hector before leaving Trenton, and after tonight's outing, I believe that both Les and Cal have proven their ability to adjust their behavior as the conditions require it, so according to my accounting, you technically owe me two cards."
"I haven't seen a report that confirms the conclusion of training for Santos and Cal," he countered. "Until I have the paperwork, their training isn't considered complete."
"That's acceptable, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm done with two of eight so I've earned one forth of my agreed upon reward," I countered, slowly undoing his dress shirt and pulling the shirttail from his pants to get to the bottom two buttons, allowing it to fall open to display his sculpted chest.
When my teeth grazed his collarbone, he drew in a breath that was not as smooth as his usual unflappable demeanor. "If you're trying to get me to show you a credit card, you're going about it the wrong way," he pointed out, tightening his grip on me to keep me from pulling away.
"What is the right way?" I moved my mouth off of him, displaying more control than I actually felt.
He made a sound of disapproval when I moved away slightly and then took a deep breath, showing off his skills of control that I had yet to acquire. Continuing to show off that infamous control, he stepped away from me and invited me to follow him.
Not that I planned on letting him out of my sight tonight. I walked behind him, sorry that I'd untucked his shirt because it was covering his rear end in the dress pants that fit him perfectly.
We moved to his office, and he sat in the office chair in front of a desk that looked just like the one in Trenton. When he pulled out the bottom drawer, there was a small lock box in the bottom, hidden under some files. He placed his thumb on a scanner and then lifted it after hearing a series of beeps and a clicking sound.
He only opened the lid partially and pulled out a small white envelope, which he handed to me.
"What's this?" I asked, not sure if I should open it or not.
"It's your reward as agreed upon at the beginning of your assignment. I promised to show you one of the alternate identities that I had for you in case something went wrong," he explained, pointing to the envelope. "Open it."
I eased my finger under the corner of the flap and gently tore the package open, pulling out a passport, license, credit card, and money clip that appeared to be full of hundred dollar bills. I looked at the names on the documents and saw that they all read Michelle Phillips. As far as names went, it wasn't so bad. I could probably even answer to it since it was my middle name and a last name close enough to Plum that it wasn't totally foreign. Lifting up the cash I asked, "What's this?"
His mouth tightened slightly, as though he wasn't really excited about explaining what I was holding, but I got a fresh wave of affection for him when he shoved down his own discomfort and answered my question anyway. "That packet is a get away identity in case you ever needed to run fast. It's everything you'd need to take care of yourself for a little while until we could resolve whatever threat had arisen. The credit card is obviously to cover most of your costs, because there is no limit. The license is a necessary form of ID for almost anything, including rental car, hotel room, or plane ticket. The passport allows you to leave the country if the threat is bad enough, and the cash is for emergency purposes, because even though you have the credit card, sometimes you have to have a little green to get things done."
"How much money is in this clip?" I wondered, curious but not willing to take it out and count it.
"It's only twenty-five hundred dollars," he replied, as though the word only belonged anywhere near that amount of cash. There had been many times in my life when what he apparently considered pocket change was more than I had as my entire net worth. "It would be enough to keep you floating temporarily, but not enough to establish a new life. I wanted you to be able to run to stay safe, but I didn't provide enough for you to disappear forever. Admitting to it now, it was probably not a smart move."
Hearing him confess that he'd done something that I considered to be incredibly generous but he believed to be selfish and controlling took away some of the fun this was supposed to represent, so I forced myself to focus on the license. The picture was me, but I had straight hair. It took me hours to make it look like that. "It would truly have to be a matter of life of death for me to use this, because it would take all morning for me to flat iron my hair to get it that straight. So it would have to be worth the soreness in my arms for me to go through that kind of trouble."
Ranger smiled at my joke and watched me put everything back in the envelope and return it to him.
"You've obviously thought this out. How long have you had that?"
"Two and a half years," he answered.
"That was well before Scrog," I said after doing the mental math, surprised he'd gone through so much trouble for me before that. It wasn't until that psycho took me that my life had ever been in danger because of my association with him.
"Just because he was the first one to make my fears come true didn't mean I hadn't considered the possibility of you needing some protection at some point. I hate being unprepared, so I had this pulled together just to be safe," he explained, surprising me at how easily he seemed to be sharing this information. For over three years, he'd hidden every detail unless I pestered him into giving up a little, and now he was fully answering everything I asked and volunteering some information on his own. It was unnerving and exhilarating all at once.
As I handed him the filled envelope to replace in the box, I joked, "So once I write up my reports on Lester and Cal tonight, you'll let me see another card?"
"If the reports are satisfactory," he countered, smirking with what he apparently considered a witty response.
It made no sense why I'd shoot myself in the foot like this, but my mouth opened and I asked, "Can I use your computer here to type up my reports? The sooner I get them done, the sooner I can satisfy my curiosity about my other names."
He didn't answer me immediately, electing to focus on returning everything back to the box and covering the box back up so that the desk looked untouched. Then he used his feet to pull the rolling desk chair forward in order to grab my hips. Once he had me as close as he wanted, his hands moved to the bottom of my dress and then worked their way back up, caressing my thighs.
"Work day is over, Babe," he replied, interrupting his thought with a low moan when his fingers traced over the top of my thigh highs and landed on the garter holding them up at the top. "You're trying to kill me here, aren't you?"
My hands moved to rest on his shoulders before getting antsy and threading themselves through his loose hair, envying the silky feel between my fingers. "I could possibly be convinced to let this go until the morning..."
"What would it take?" Ranger asked, his voice sounded rougher than it had earlier this evening. There was an edge to it that acted as a warning not to push him too far or I might unleash something I couldn't handle.
"Hmmm." I pretended to consider his question and struggled to come up with anything to bargain with, so I gave up and said, "I think you said earlier that you had some ideas of ways to exhaust me without me having to be on my feet."
He looked up at me, his brown eyes nearly black from the size of his dilated pupils. "I did say that."
I glanced at the floor and back up to his face to say, "It appears I'm still standing, so if you want me forget about typing up training reports, then you'll need to do something to show you're more than talk."
I could feel him laughing when he rested his face against my abdomen. When he pulled back, he explained the humor by saying, "You're the first person to accuse me of being all talk and no action. I think I'm going to have to be extra diligent in reminding you why I'm called a man of action."
The challenge was there, clearly evident on his face, so I met his gaze with one equally set and replied, "And yet, here you are talking, and I'm still the one standing up."
That was all it took to knock over the control he'd somehow held onto up to this point. He stood up and lifted me off my feet in one movement so fast and smooth that I didn't have time to react in any way. He got us out of the office and into the bedroom in a matter of steps. Moving to the edge of the mattress, he placed me on the bed and lowered me down so that I was lying back, definitely off of my feet.
He removed my shoes and ditched the dress shirt that was just hanging on him since I'd already taken care of the buttons in the front hall. Then he moved his hands to his belt and slowly unhooked the clasp before pulling it free from the loops of his trousers and tossing it on the ground. He moved efficiently to pull a small handgun from his back and then lifted his leg to rip off an ankle holster, switching legs to take off a knife that had been on the opposite ankle, pulling the socks off his feet at the same time.
"Are the weapons too much?" he asked, noticing my staring eyes.
Shaking my head no, I assured him, "I'm just taking note of where everything is hidden so that I can safely take it off next time."
"Already planning a next time?" he asked, grinning as he pushed his pants off his hips and they fell to the floor.
I was amazed at how different men and women were. Obviously, there were the physical differences, but more than that, he stood in front of me with no shame over his nudity even though all the lights were on. Women didn't tend to move so slowly in bright lighting without any clothes to hide behind. Of course, if I had a body as gorgeous as his, I'd probably walk around naked all the time just so I could catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror from time to time.
Laughter coming from the foot of the bed was evidence that at a bare minimum, the last sentence had been said aloud. I guess being with Ranger was already boosting my confidence, because instead of blushing and trying to hide, I decided to respond, "I'm planning a next time because you have yet to do anything, and I'm beginning to wonder if this would be better if I took the lead."
All hint of amusement left his face at that, and he crawled up the mattress to hold himself over me. "I've got nothing against you leading in the bedroom, but do it because you want to try being assertive, not because you think I'm not delivering. Because I haven't even begun to take care of you tonight," he warned me.
Wisely, I kept my mouth shut and allowed him to back up, holding my hands to move me to a seated position, as well, giving him access to the zipper at my back. After opening the back of the dress, he pushed it off my arms and let it bunch up at my waist, revealing the bra underneath. His fingers lightly traced the lace, which was nearly see through.
"This is beautiful."
"I was saving it for a special occasion," I admitted, hoping this wasn't the first of many sentences that my mouth was going to blurt out without editing.
Ranger lowered me back to the bed without using his hands. He moved to hover over me and began to kiss my neck, forcing my head back to give him better access. He applied a little more pressure, and I found myself slowly falling backward in surrender. While he continued to lavish my chest with slow kisses, I felt his hand move down to work the dress over my hips. Not acting the least bit rushed, he worked down my ribs and across my stomach before lifting himself up after pushing the dress off of me.
"These are nice, too," he commented, lightly touching the matching panties.
"It was a set," I told him, like some kind of nervous teenager who felt the need to fill the silence with anything that popped into their mind.
"Do you have any more sets like this?" he asked, not looking up at me but watching his fingers trace the v-shape at the front made out of a silky lace.
"No," I replied honestly. "They were kind of expensive, so I only got one."
"Can you still buy these? Are they still made?"
I wasn't sure what he was getting at. "I just got them a couple of months ago, so I'm sure they can be purchased somewhere." I figured there were times when the why didn't matter. I just answered the question and hoped it would be enough to get his mouth on my body again.
"I'm going to try to be gentle, but if I end up ripping them, I'll buy you a new set." His face lowered toward me and pulled up just before contact was made to add, "I'll buy you dozens of new sets."
Normally, I would have argued that I was perfectly capable of buying my own lingerie, but his mouth finally landed on me, and the feel of his teeth through the satin was enough to take away my ability to speak coherently.
We were together...we were really about to have sex with no guilt, no ambiguity, no curses, and no uncertainty about the future. This was going to be good.
"If it's only good, then I've failed," Ranger interrupted what I thought were my mental ramblings.
"We're going to do this, Babe." He lifted his head and then used his fingers to push my panties to the side and gently touch what had been covered so that my breath left me in a quick whoosh of pleasure. "And it's going to be as close as you can get to doomsday without actually dying."
"You set an awfully high bar for yourself," I found the breath to tease him once he stopped moving his hand.
"Lucky for you, I'm a high achiever," he taunted me in return with that confidence that never crossed over to arrogance but left no doubt that he could deliver.
"And lucky for you I rested up this morning so that I can last a long time," I teased, attempting to up the ante.
"Bring it on, Babe." He calmly met my challenge. "Before this night is over, you're going to be unconscious...and not because you just fell asleep."
Damn, an orgasm that could make me black out? I thought those were just a myth. Seeing the assurance on his face, I knew if anyone could do it, Ranger could. And I was more than willing to let him try to meet his goal all night long. Even if he ultimately failed, I'd still be satisfied enough that I doubted I'd be walking very stably.
"Babe, you're going to be satisfied enough that walking won't even be possible."
Gulp!