It was three months since the barbeque and Mercedes was starting to feel good about herself again. She was back in Glee club and they'd stormed to first place at Sectionals with their rehearsed version of That's What Friends Are For, complete with Ms Jones on the harmonica.
Now the holidays had passed and Regionals were rapidly approaching.
This week they were working on duets. Mr Schue had picked the partnerships in order to break up the 'couples' in the group. It was also an exercise in working at improving their relationships within the club ahead of Regionals. The task was to find something they shared in common and sing about it. Mercedes had been put together with Lauren. She struggled to hide her disappointment at the pairing. Everyone knew that Lauren could neither sing nor dance and was only there to make up the numbers. She didn't even truly know what her taste in music was sufficed to say that it probably would be highly incompatible with her own. And they really had nothing in common apart from a hatred of being bossed around.
And now here she was, in Lauren's bedroom, steaming mugs of hot chocolate in hand, trying desperately to come up with song ideas.
Lauren's house had not been at all as she had expected it to be. It was smaller and extremely homely. She lived with her mom and two younger siblings, nine year old twin girls. Her room was an even bigger surprise. Just like the rest of the house it was soft and feminine. Not in a pink way because the color scheme was actually more of a water-like green and blue hues, but things like the gingham detail on the curtain tiebacks which matched the bedside lamp and the extra cushions on the bed betrayed much thought.
"You expected my room to be dark with pictures of wrestlers on the walls didn't you?" Lauren looked at her with a searching expression.
Mercedes was too in shock to hide it and simply nodded, eyes wide, taking in every detail of the room.
Lauren made a non-committal sound before sitting on the bed and motioning Mercedes to join her. "It's a bit hard not to be feminine when you live in a house of four girls!" She pushed her glasses higher up on her nose and looked wistful. "Besides, I'm pretty sure I could give Kurt a run for his money when it comes to interior design. People just don't expect it of me and I don't advertise my skill. There's more to me than just Puck and wrestling, although they are the greatest loves in my life."
Mercedes was extremely surprised. The surprise then gave way to embarrassment when she realized that she hadn't really made much of an effort to know anything about this girl at all.
Lauren put her remarkably quickly drained mug to the side and crossed the room to retrieve her laptop from her desk.
As she moved across the room Mercedes noticed something different about her. "Have you lost weight?"
Lauren froze for a second before turning to her. "Yes. The doc says too much of my weight is around my belly. But you're the first person besides Puck to notice."
Mercedes nodded and said nothing. It was something that had concerned her about herself too but she had never let on to anyone. She smiled at Lauren. "Well I think you're doing really well."
The larger girl smiled. "Thanks." But as quickly as the smile had arrived it disappeared. "But don't think I'm going all skinny assed! Puck likes a fat bottomed girl and I like being one!" There was no way that Lauren Zizes was ever going to give up being a badass!
Mercedes' reply to that was a fist bump and a grin. "Here's to keeping it real and knowing what men like!" But in her head all she could think of was Sam's obsession with her own behind. "Maybe that's what we should sing about!"
Lauren narrowed her eyes. "I'm not singing Fat Bottomed Girls!" Puck was still paying penance for that particular humiliation.
Mercedes was taken aback. "Hell to the no! I'm not suggesting that! I was thinking maybe we could do a song about not having to conform. Just because we don't fit the 'Cheerio' mold, it doesn't mean that men aren't interested in us. Real men. And quite frankly, I'm tired of always being compared!"
"Exactly. Look at us. I'm with Puck and you dated Sam. The two hottest guys in McKinley! So why are we still made to feel that we're any less gorgeous and worthy than the other girls? We beat them to the best men for heaven's sake! And we don't resemble supermodels!"
Mercedes nodded into her hot chocolate. "So what shall we sing?"
Both girls were quiet for a while as Mercedes scrolled through her iPod and Lauren trawled through YouTube on her laptop.
"Any joy?" Mercedes shook her head. She'd been through her entire collection and come up with nothing. Lauren wasn't looking too confident either. Then she suddenly perked up.
"Oh my god I have an idea! How about we rock it out?"
"You weren't around for the whole Start Me Up/Living On A Prayer mash up were you? You're about to find out Mercedes Jones can definitely rock it! What do you have in mind?"
"There's this series I used to watch online years ago…" Lauren was typing furiously into the computer. "Ok so this was the theme tune. What do you think?" She turned up the volume to full and let her have a listen.
By the end of the first chorus Mercedes was grinning. "Yep. That is sooo the one! So how do you want to split this?"
"Well, was well as other things... Puck has been giving me vocal lessons over the last few months. Obviously I'm nowhere near your league but I'm pretty sure I can take some of the verses as long as you do the big chorus parts."
Mercedes grinned and nodded. "Yeah I think we could definitely rock this..."
"Okay, so next up to present are Mercedes and Lauren!"
Puck whooped and wolf whistled as they rose from their seats and stepped to the front, fully made up and looking fierce wearing little black dresses.
"Mr Schue," said Mercedes, "We want to sing about something that is important to us. Neither of us fit the standard description of beauty. But that doesn't make us any less deserving of acceptance or worthy of love. Just because we don't look like your classic supermodels it doesn't mean that there aren't those who still find us beautiful, including ourselves. But it's hard having to deal with the comparisons day after day. And just because someone may look like they do fit the mold from the outside, they may still be having their own personal struggles and insecurities on the inside. So this is a song about the way we feel about the pressure girls like us are put under."
Mr Schue nodded to them to continue and Lauren turned and indicated to the band to start.
The room was filled with the sound of loud electric guitars.
They walked over to the two standing microphones.
Mercedes went first.
The summer sun has come to stay Bikinis, tans, outrageous legs
They're all retarded and they all look the same!
And Barbie's body's melting down On her face a big fat frown
Because "Mr. Cellulite" just moved into town
Well me and Z, we hate supermodels It's not that we know anyone personally
It's just that I'm tired of being compared!
Lauren came in with the next verse
The boys they come here With expectations for the summer
And I refuse to take any part of this barbaric ritual!
Because God has given me a mind That I will use from time to time
And I got more on my head than what's made by Paul Mitchell
And Mercedes returned to belt the chorus
Well me and Z, we hate supermodels It's not that we know anyone personally
It's just that I'm tired of being compared
Lauren practically shouted the next words
Was it worth the tears you cried to fit the size?
Think it over once or twice What lasts the longest in this life
Character or rock hard thighs?
Mercedes replied back to her
And in the end do you believe that beauty lies in what you see?
Because if you do then baby You've been deceived!
The final chorus they sang together
Well me and Z, we hate supermodels It's not that we know anyone personally
It's just that we're tired of being compared!
The whole time they had danced around their mikes like poles and made supermodel 'vogue' moves.
As the music died they high-fived and shouted "Yeah!"
The room exploded with cheering and applause and Puck ran straight up and shamelessly started making out with Lauren right in front of everyone...
Mercedes drove home with Sam on her mind. He'd been a constant feature in her consciousness since Lauren had mentioned his name. But she knew it wasn't just that. It was the whole body image thing. Sam had loved her body just as it was. He'd been supportive and whenever she had spoken negatively about herself he was always quick to give reassurance. There was no doubt in her mind that he loved her body. From the way that he looked at her and the way that he touched her it was more than obvious.
The great irony was that one of the first big conversations they had had, early in their blossoming friendship, was her telling him how she was secure in her own self and helping him to get over his own body issues. Luckily he was mature and understanding enough to know that body confidence is something that ebbs and flows like the waves of the sea. Some days you feel good about yourself, and the next day you don't for no particular reason. She'd helped him that day and he had helped her many days after that.
Sam Evans… She still felt a dull ache in her chest when she thought of him and how much she missed him and wondered what he was doing right now…
She stared down at the pouch lying on her desk. Attached on top was a note from her mom.
I've printed some pictures because I needed to make space on the memory card and I thought you might like some of these x
There was quite a thick pile of photos inside. They were in reverse order with the most recent being on top. There were pictures of Mercedes and the family at home, and with various church events.
Then came the pictures from Florida. Mercedes and JJ playing with their cousins and hanging on the beach. There was a distinct lack of smiles on her face in most of those pictures. A couple more pictures from some dental event that must have been put in her pile by accident. She took them out and put them to the side. Then it was pictures from…
Prom…
Pre-prom to be specific. The first pic (last taken) was of all four of them, arms around one another, posing by the front door. The next was of her and Rachel, all smiles, holding their corsages up to the camera. Without moving the picture Mercedes knew what was coming next. She moved over to sit on her bed before taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly. The then moved on to the next photo. She and Sam looking very much like a couple smiled back up at her. His arm was wrapped casually around her shoulder and his smile was bright. The tightness in her chest was almost unbearable and she had to grab her box of facial tissues to prevent her tears from ruining any of the pictures. She moved quickly to the next. A duplicate. The next was very similar except instead of looking straight at the camera like she was, Sam seemed to be taking a sneaky peek at her out of the corner of his eye. How did she not even notice that? Regardless, he wasn't even interested in her at that point! 'But I still thought you looked beautiful!' She could hear his voice reverberating around her head, saying the line he always said when discussing that night.
The next picture was of the two of them again. Looking slightly more nervous. Sam's hands were at his side and his fists appeared to be clenched with nerves. Her dad had taken that particular one and he hadn't known what to do with himself in front of the man! He'd yet to relax into the picture taking.
The next couple were of Mercedes on the stairs. Smiling. Just days before she'd honestly believed that she wouldn't have this Cinderella on the stairs moment and yet here she was. She smiled as she remembered how she'd been on that staircase for what felt like nearly ten minutes as her parents tried to get the picture just right. Their only daughter had only one first prom, and they were determined to do this properly! Next picture was in her room as she stepped into her shoes preparing to go downstairs.
The next picture surprised her. It was of Sam standing alone at the bottom of the stairs looking nervous and expectant. She hadn't known about this picture. She couldn't have as she would have been upstairs at the time. His lips had the look like he had just licked them, something he constantly did when he was nervous, and he was absently fingering his bolo tie. Her dad must have taken it just before bringing the camera upstairs.
Most of the prom pictures were in duplicate. As Sam had no camera her mom had promised to make copies for Sam knowing that Rachel and Jesse would have had ones taken by their own families. Now that she had the pictures she knew that she had to send them.
It had been playing on her mind for weeks that she still hadn't sent Sam's letter. She just couldn't bring herself to touch her 'box of Sam' yet.
But today she had to. She'd promised to give him the prom photos and she had to keep her word.
With a heavy sigh she took a chair and used a ruler to prise the box away from the far corner of the top of the wardrobe where she'd pushed it, to a place where she could safely reach it and bring it down.
After deciding that she still wasn't ready to face the full contents of the box, she quickly retrieved the letter which luckily was still lying on top, before locking the box and pushing it back up out of sight.
After sitting at her desk for nearly an hour, staring at the envelope and wondering if she should open the letter and edit it or send it as is, she finally made a decision. The letter contained the honest truth. Nothing in it should be changed. She ran to her father's office and pinched a slightly larger envelope. Once back in her room she copied the address from the other envelope on to it and stuffed the letter inside together with the duplicate photos. She debated adding a new letter of her own but settled for a sticky note apologising for the delay, and letting him know these were his prom night duplicates.
Before she could have any regrets she sealed the new envelope. It then sat on her desk while she mustered up the courage to mail it.
After seeing the envelope on Mercedes' desk for three days, addressed and ready to go, Alicia Jones made an assumption.
Mercedes was always forgetting to buy stamps.
She picked up the envelope, smiling when she saw the name on top and feeling pictures inside. She added it to her pile of work correspondence to be posted out later that afternoon...
Featured song: Supermodels by Kendal Payne
