Chapter 13:

Inconvenient Feelings

The next couple of days, Hans did all that he could to avoid Anna.

Fragments of their late-night, fire-lit conversation came back to him, little by little at first, and then all at once. He didn't like what he remembered about the wine-induced conversation with the beautiful princess. He still served her, of course, as his punishment required, but he had made it a point to be nothing but short and civil in their interactions since that night.

Her fever returned, and Anna was bedridden for the following few days after that late night, which in turn made it even easier for Hans to evade her. Most of her time was spent either sleeping or reading, and although she was desperate for any human contact, social interactions with the prince often left her fatigued. He would usually just slip out of the room unnoticed after she had dozed off.

They hadn't talked about that night, either. Not really. Anna had attempted, once, but Hans shot her down quickly.

"You don't remember anything you said to me?" she had inquired, her arms folded and her face somewhat hopeful. "Or how you ended up in my bed?" she added, an eyebrow cocked. Hans reddened, averted his eyes, and shook his head. He began focusing on the food he was bringing to her on the tray, carefully balancing it on his arm.

"Nope, sorry. It's all a blur," he lied, hoping she'd just drop it already.

"Not even when you said you wanted to ki-" she was interrupted by a spoon in her mouth or his frequent changing of the subject enough times in that one instance that she eventually caught on that it wasn't something he wanted to discuss further.

So, she left it alone.

In reality, Hans remembered much more than he let on…the conversation about what really had happened with Kristoff, the fact that they weren't actually engaged…he even remembered telling her he wanted to kiss her- a memory he cringed at, in retrospect. How embarrassing that he'd let that one slip, no matter how true it was in that moment.

But it wasn't just Anna that Hans avoided. He barely talked to Marguerite, and certainly did not discuss the matter of Anna with her. He simply withdrew, trying to figure out just what it was he was feeling about Anna, more so about what he felt the following morning, her hair disheveled and her soft snoring. He couldn't help but wonder what life would have been like had he just followed his heart in the first place, back in Arendelle, instead of letting power get the best of him.

So, today was his weekly meeting with Dr. Svedsen, and Hans was less that thrilled to be sitting on the sofa across from the old man as he wrote down a few notes, arranged his papers, then rearranged them once more. Hans sighed loudly, crossing his arms and shifting in his seat.

"Something the matter, Prince Hans?" Dr. Svedsen asked, his tone clinical and routine. Hans opened his mouth, unsure of what to say. Yes? No? He had no idea what it was he was feeling, so how was he supposed to tell Svedsen one way or the other? "You seem impatient. Do you have somewhere you need to be?" Svedsen added.

"Well, it's going to be lunchtime soon, I'll need to take Anna her meal," Hans responded evenly. Dr. Svedsen nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"Ah, yes. I'm to understand you are serving the princess while she stays here. So, does that mean that your attempt to gain her forgiveness like I instructed you was a success?" Hans scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Not necessarily, your little homework got me locked in the dungeon for a night," Hans spat, still somewhat bitter about the whole thing. A mildly amused smile crept across the doctor's face.

"So, you decided that it was worth the risk, then," he noted aloud. Hans, again, went to speak but remained silent, shrugging his shoulders as if he couldn't care less. "Why was that, you think?"

"She was sick, possibly dying," he said flatly. "I wasn't sure I was going to get another chance." Dr. Svedsen wrote down a note or two, before looking back at Hans. Hans would love to know what those papers said, whether they painted him up as a monster or not. Whether they claimed he was insane or ill, not that he felt it truly mattered.

"How are your interactions with the princess?" Dr. Svedsen asked, leaning back and settling into his chair, comfortably.

"Fine," Hans said, shortly.

"Can you elaborate?"

"To be honest, it's not something I want to talk about," Hans finally said, his anxiety beginning to creep up on him again.

"Any why is that?" Hans knew that the doctor was only asking all of these questions because it was his job, but he felt himself getting more and more irritated, nonetheless.

"Because I don't, okay?" he spat, running his hand over his face.

"Fascinating. It seems like Anna and the occurrence in Arendelle were all you wanted to talk about in your past sessions," Svedsen reminded him. Hans didn't respond. "Then, can we talk about how you received that injury?" Dr. Svedsen said, noticing Hans' still-wrapped hand. Hans pulled his hand away from his mouth and glanced at it, sighing a bit. He did not want to explain this one, either.

"I got into a little fight with Isaak; it was nothing," he said dismissingly. Dr. Svedsen shook his head, he was not buying it.

"I'm sorry, but any altercations you're in at this time aren't nothing. I need to know what happened, Hans, so we can get to the root of this anger you seem to be harboring. It's the only way you're going to get better."

"Am I really that bad?" Hans groaned.

"You're not well," the doctor conceded. Hans swallowed, hard, looking away from Svedsen and at the tree outside, gently bending in the wind. "Is there anything you do want to talk about, Master Westergaard?" he asked.

"What's the point," Hans muttered in a genteel tone, continuing to stare out the window. "Elsa will be here in a few weeks to seal my fate and Anna will be headed back to Arendelle to marry Kristoff," he lamented. He found these feelings that plagued him just as inconvenient as they had been in Arendelle, but clearly they were there for a reason. He glanced at the doctor who simply stared back at him receptively. "This is all for nothing, isn't it? I'm going to end up in a labor yard regardless, right?" Dr. Svedsen sighed, picking up his papers and shuffling them a bit, setting them back down.

"I can't say for sure what will become of you, Hans." Hans exhaled, closing his eyes. Why was it that nothing ever came easily for him? One would think that after being born of privilege he would at least get to bask in the perks once in a while. It was no secret to Hans, however, that most of his problems were not only self-made but also self-perpetuated. How simple others made it seem, to express their feelings and sort through them without a second thought; meanwhile he remained plagued by his own second guessing and self-doubts, enough to drive him mad.

Perhaps I really am mad.

At Sea - Elsa and Kristoff

A brooding, turbulent storm loomed overtop the boat; Elsa just prayed she could keep her wits about her long enough to safely get to Arendelle. It was her storm, one she was having a hard time controlling as the voyage moved on.

She paced her bedroom quarters, peeking outside through her large cabin window over and over again, nervously. It wasn't just getting to her sick sister that was making her anxious; soon, she would be in The Southern Isles, forced to come face to face with the family responsible for creating the monster that nearly ended her life and the life of her sister.

It made her fume, it made her angry, it made her sad. She was sad because since it had happened, she had spent such a little amount of time ever processing just what had happened during the Great Freeze. Now, and ever since Anna left, she'd been made to reflect on those events over and over again.

Alone.

She ran her hands through her hair, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

Get it together, Elsa. Conceal. Don't feel.

These mantras had never worked before, she knew they wouldn't now. There was a reason these words never worked before; Elsa had deduced that the overall advice her father had drilled into her head hadn't been the most healthy in regards to dealing with trauma. But what could she do about it? It wasn't as if she had any close friends or Anna to talk about these things right now. The ship rocked gently back and forth, her stomach in knots. She heard a gentle rapping at her cabin door.

"El- I mean…Queen Elsa?" she heard, muffled from the other side.

"Yes, come in," she called back, turning towards the door. It creaked open, Kristoff poking his head in.

"Your majesty, I was just told that we are making excellent time; we may be there in as early as a week," Kristoff announced. Elsa nodded in a bit of a daze.

"Yes, okay. Thank you," she said back, somewhat detached. Kristoff had a hard time identifying if this was good news or bad by her complacent reaction. He took a step in, bringing his hat off his head and wringing it in his hand, something he always found himself doing in the presence of the intimidating beautiful ice queen.

"Your majesty," he began. She turned towards him, her face softening.

"Please, Kristoff, you're practically family at this point, you may just call me Elsa," she said, sighing, as if she'd told him this many times before. He nodded.

'O-okay…Elsa," he said, the name rolling off his tongue awkwardly, nervously. He cleared his throat and collected himself. "May I ask if you're okay? You seem upset…" he said, looking out the window at the looming cloud overhead.

"Oh, you noticed?" she teased. "I am fine, Kristoff," she added, her smile fading. She turned her back towards him, holding herself tightly in a form of self-soothing.

"Well, I'm sure you doing better than me," he said cryptically. "I'm feeling quite nervous about this whole thing," he confessed. She turned back towards him, her eyebrows sympathetic.

"Kristoff, I'm sure everything is going to be alright. Anna is tough, she's just got to make it through," she said determinedly. Kristoff chuckled.

"It's not that I'm worried about," he said. "Anna is a testament to internal strength and bravery…"

"Well…what is it?" Elsa asked, nearing him. Kristoff was surprised he was even saying these words aloud, let alone having this conversation with the queen, of all people. Anna's sister.

"I just…I never felt like she was ever mine, you know?"

"I'm afraid I don't know," Elsa admitted. "But I will try to understand," she added, hopefully.

"I mean, she was determined to get back to Arendelle and kiss Hans. She really believed that was her true love, even after my feeling for her had began to develop. I think…I think I was an afterthought. And I thought that would get better, eventually. But never once has she ever spoken to me or of me the way she spoke of Hans that night we were heading up the North Mountain to find you," he confessed, painfully. "What if she says no?"

"I- uh," Elsa began, before realizing that sad truth. There was a very real possibility that every fear Kristoff had just expressed to her was capable of coming true, and that by the time they got to The Southern Isles they'd be too late to stop Anna from having fallen in love with the evil prince again.

And it wasn't until this moment that Elsa realized that she feared that even more than her sister dying.

Hans pushed another food cart, as usual, towards the princess' chamber. Although he'd been more distant lately, he still couldn't shake off the fact that he'd come to enjoy his time with her. The real bittersweet part, however, was how short-lived it would be, hence why he'd made some huge strides to build an impenetratable barrier.

He rounded the corner just in time to see Isaak, his hand upon the door knob, about to enter Anna's room.

"Hey!" he shouted, abandoning his cart and running towards him. The door was barely unlatched as Hans threw himself in front of it, knocking it shut and standing between his startled brother and the door. "You do not have permission to go in there. What do you want," Hans seethed through gritted teeth. Isaak's eyes narrowed, he took a step back.

"My business the princess is of no concern to you, little brother," Isaak spat, huffily. "But if you must know, I was here to offer my company. I fear she may die of boredom with you as her only companion during her stay," he added, beginning to push past the prince to enter. Hans shoved Isaak back once more, his heart rate quickening.

"She doesn't need your company, Isaak. I know what you're doing here."

"And what is that?"

"You're trying to get a rise out of me, get under my skin." Isaak took another step back, adjusting the lapels of his jacket, smoothing out his hair. He smirked back at his little brother, wryly.

"It seems to be working," he observed. He was right. The mere idea of Isaak even attempting to canoodle with Anna made Hans fume with jealousy and irritation, although he wasn't sure if it was that Anna may actually end up liking his horrible brother, or merely the fact that Hans just hated his brother trying to lay claim to anything that was his. Or…had been his at one point.

"She isn't a pawn, Isaak! This isn't a game." Hans couldn't help but feel protective of her, even territorial. "Don't let me catch you sniffing around this door again, or so help me God I have no problem breaking my hand again," Hans threatened. Isaak snickered, turning away wordlessly and ambling back the way he presumably came.

Hans took a deep breath, trying to let the irritation he was feeling fade away before going in and seeing Anna. It was bad enough he'd been so different towards her since the night in the portrait room, but now, being as frustrated as he was, Hans needed to keep his emotions at bay. He took a deep, mind-clearing breath, patiently went to retrieve his food cart, and walked into the princess' room.

"Hey!" Hans exclaimed upon entering Anna's room just in time to find her pulling herself into the wheelchair, weakly. She grunted, her face flushed and she appeared to glisten with a thin layer of sweat. "What are you doing?" Hans asked, startled. He once again abandoned the cart and hurried to her side and helped her adjust into the chair.

"I'm bored," she panted, her voice whining. "I need to get out of this room." She looked over towards the huge windows, gesturing towards them. "And, it's snowing, I-I was trying to go outside and see the snow." Hans glanced up; sure enough, there were miniscule, faint snowflakes fluttering around in the air. He rolled his eyes.

"And how did you think you were going to accomplish that? You don't even have enough strength to get yourself from your bed to a wheelchair, let alone roll yourself down those corridors and outside," Hans pointed out. Anna folded her arms across her chest defiantly.

"I could do it; desperate times call for desperate measures," she pouted.

"And what did you expect you'd do when you reached the first set of stairs, hmm?" Hans inquired, beginning to push her and her chair back towards the bed. She turned in her chair, her fingers gripping onto his jacket, her eyes pleading.

"Please, j-just… take me outside. I need the fresh air, I need to feel the cold wind on my cheeks," she whined, dramatically. "I am begging you." Hans stared at her, irritated. She stared back, desperately. He sighed in resignation.

"You would think after freezing to death once you'd prefer to stay warm… and indoors," he muttered, turning her chair around. She exhaled in relief.

"Well, after getting locked in a library, I get a little uneasy being shut in a room for long periods of time," she lightly teased. She watched Hans walk with purpose towards a chest in the corner of the room, rummaging inside to fetch a blue cloak. He threw it towards Anna and she narrowly avoided it colliding with her face as she caught it. She glowered at Hans.

"Okay, what is your problem?" she snapped. Her eyebrows were pulled together in a frown, her face hard.

"Nothing," he spat, his back to her as he fumbled through the linens for a blanket to drape over her as well.

"It's not nothing, you've been like this for days now!" she declared, her voice raising passionately. "Things were getting better, but now you're just as closed off and distant as the day I got here! I thought-"

"You thought what, Anna?" he hissed, turning towards her, his eyes narrowed and cold. "That you'd figure me out by now? That you would understand why I did a terrible thing to you and your sister and that you could just forgive me and we'd be best friends?" he spouted off, angrily. Anna stared at him in disbelief, completely taken aback by his sudden outburst.

"Is this about the other night?" Anna asked, her voice quiet. Han groaned, loudly.

"It's not about anything!" Hans shouted, running an irritated hand through his hair. "Don't you get it? I don't want to be your friend, Anna. I don't want to be your confidant; I should have taken the ship to the Corona Mines, because I certainly don't want to be your servant."

"Why are you pushing me away? What did I do?" Anna asked, her eyes beginning to brim with hot, frustrated tears. She shook them away quickly.

"That is your problem, Anna. I tried to kill your sister and take your kingdom. I left you for dead, and yet you're asking me what you've done wrong," he said, his pulse slowing as kneeled down beside her. "You don't need to try to gain my approval or make things right with me, what I have done in the past is inexcusable and I am not worth your time or energy to try to understand."

"You're wrong," Anna choked. "You are worth it," she said comfortingly; the coddling only seemed to irritate Hans even more.

"And stop doing that!" he snipped. "Quit trying to make me feel better! It doesn't. It just makes me feel worse. Don't you realize that the more I get to know you," he began, leaning back down in front of her and taking her hand in his, staring into her eyes, his own beginning to fill with frustrated tears. "You and your optimism, a-and your goodness, and the way you look at me…" He studied her sweet, sympathetic look on her face. "Just like you're looking at me right now; don't you realize that it only makes me realize what an awful thing I did to you? That even if I live a million years, I can never truly make up for what I did-"

"Hans, that's enough," Anna said sternly. He bowed his head, she reached down and pulled it back up, staring back at him intensely. She sighed, a look of reminiscence on her face. "Look, I am not an expert on these things, certainly not a love expert…but when I was out looking for Elsa, I met some," she waited for Hans to have something to interject with, instead he simply stared back at her, listening to her every word patiently. "They said this: People make bad choices if they're mad, or scared, or stressed. Throw a little love their way and you'll bring out their best."

"I don't under-"

"I didn't get it, not really. Not until…"

"Until what?" he asked, his eyes hopeful. She smiled a bit, shrugging once shoulder, sheepishly.

"Until I came back here. I guess that's why I never answered Kristoff, why I had to come back here and see you one more time. Something about you called to me, even if it just to be your friend," she said. Hans felt a twinge of pain in that sentence, although up until this point he wasn't even aware that he perhaps wanted something more from her. "I figured…the love between Elsa and I thawed my heart…perhaps I could come out here and thaw yours, before it's too late."

"Anna, I…" he choked a bit. He chuckled, unsure what to say to that. "I don't really know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, just… quit beating yourself up, it does no good," she insisted. "You did an awful thing, in Arendelle. But you're not an awful person, I know it-"

"You don't know it. I-" he interrupted, weakly. He paused, shaking his head. "I am not a good person, Anna. I wasn't bred that way, I wasn't raised that way."

"But you are, Hans. Although you lost your way, you're not awful. Not the man you were when you took care of Arendelle in our absence, not the man that went up the North Mountain looking for me, not even the man that wanted approval from his father and brothers so badly he would kill for it…I guess I could even understand that," she whispered.

Anna bit her lip, gazing down at the forlorn look of sadness in Hans' face. She gently placed a hand on his cheek, wishing she could rid him of his angst and self-doubt. He looked upward at her once more, carefully placing his gloved hand over hers. He closed his eyes and softly leaned in on her hand, then turned and placed a small, innocent kiss upon it. Anna felt a chill wash over her from that simple gesture.

"Please, stop being so kind to me," he plead, his voice a whisper. It wasn't until that moment that she realized that he was crying. She ran her thumb across his cheek, wiping away the single tear that had escaped. She leaned down, softly and carefully placing a kiss on the prince's forehead.

"I forgive you," she whispered. "So forgive yourself."

A/N HAPPY HALLOWEEN! My gift to you: A new chapter of The Torn Prince. Huzzah, I know you're all so excited.

So, why don't you leave me a treat? Read and review! Have a safe and wonderful holiday.