Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to The Walking Dead. I'm just having fun with their characters.
Warning: This is rated M for language, gore, and suggestive themes.
Note: I'd just like to make one thing clear—I personally have no qualms with the military. Jenna's character does, and her reasons will be revealed as the story progresses. So I hope no one takes offense to her anti-military attitude.
"And the light shineth in darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it."
—John 1:5
Shot in the Dark
Jenna sat between Carol and Dusty around the fire pit among most of the others. The day was winding down, and it seemed that the worst of the heat had passed, for which she was thankful—and was certain that everyone else shared her sentiments. Just about everyone was covered in sweat and dirt to some degree, some—like Rick, Shane, Daryl, and Gabe—more than others.
The kids were sitting in their own little group among the rest around the fire pit, chewing on the last granola bars from Jenna's backpack. It wasn't until she and Daryl had taken the truck back to camp that she realized they were out of food. For most of them, that fateful fish fry had been their last meal. (For those that had been buried, that statement couldn't have been more true.) But those that had joined Daryl in the city yesterday hadn't eaten since that morning, and Jenna didn't realize how hungry she was until the events of the day had run their course, and there was nothing left to occupy her mind.
She took a swig from her water bottle. No matter. She'd gone days without food before, and she could do it again. Water was the important thing, really. Food could wait, so long as she had water.
The sound of approaching footsteps made her raise her eyes from the ground, and she and the others around her watched as Shane, Rick, and Dale joined them around the fire pit, returning from their sweep of the woods. Daryl came to join them when Shane took a knee among them, as it was obvious that he was going to speak to them as a whole.
"Look, I been thinkin about Rick's plan," he started, and Jenna realized he was talking about the CDC. "There are no…there're no guarantees, I'll be the first one to admit that," he said while they listened intently. "I've known this man a long time," he said, his eyes cutting over to Rick across the fire pit. "I trust his instincts. I'd say the most important thing here, is we need to stay together," he told them intently, and his eyes landed on Jenna for a moment, as though he could hear the doubt in her thoughts. "So, for those of you that agree, we leave first thing in the mornin."
With that, everyone was left to their thoughts and musings while they all wandered off to go about their business. For most of them, that involved getting themselves cleaned up from the day's trials, and thus arose the popular desire to head into the RV for a shower. Jenna opted to just head down to take a dip in the quarry—shower or not, they were using the water from the quarry anyway—and Dusty joined her. Miranda offered to look after Thao, who was still playing cars with Louis, and Jenna was supremely grateful for the woman's efforts. It was a huge relief to know that while Thao was out of Jenna's sight, he was under the watchful gaze of a mother.
She grabbed a change of clothes from her tent and she and Dusty strolled down the road to the quarry together, Jenna holding her machete over her shoulder lazily, ever watchful of their surroundings.
Rather than stripping down to her underwear like Dusty, Jenna opted to just leave her clothes on, figuring she could wash them and herself at the same time. She removed her necklace, emptied her pockets, and left her things with her weapons beside her dry clothes—her switchblade, her wallet which now merely held photos, and the antique style hipflask she'd picked up from the abandoned liquor store she and Thao had taken refuge in for one night while they were passing through Tennessee. Instead of alcohol, however, she used it for water.
"Here," said Dusty, handing her a small plastic bottle. "Ain't much, but it's the best we've got."
Jenna straightened up from floating on her back in the water and studied the bottle in her hand, realizing it was a pocket-sized shampoo bottle.
"Thanks," she said, sincerely grateful for the small gift. "Can't even remember the last time I used shampoo."
"Glenn snagged a bunch of em from some hotel in the city a while ago," said Dusty, working some of the shampoo into her own hair. "You wouldn't believe how fast they went, too—lucky I grabbed some of em before they were all gone."
Once they'd washed off—Jenna could hardly recall her hair feeling so clean—and changed into dry clothes, Jenna spread her wet clothes out along the large rocks that lined the shore to dry while they sat back on the ground and stared out at the water, both of them lost in their own thoughts. The sun was starting to set, and in the morning, the group would be heading into the city in the hopes that the CDC was still up and running.
Jenna had decided to stay with the group before, for Thao, but was that really in his best interest now? Shane obviously thought they should all stick together, but was it really worth it? Jenna couldn't decide. Her instincts were telling her to pack her things, take Thao, and head out before the sun came up the next morning, but her mind was telling her to stop and think about it for a moment first. There was a lot of truth in what Shane had said earlier; she was accustomed to making rapid decisions without any external input. But, she was part of a group now. There was plenty of external input to be had, and who was to say that some of it wasn't worth listening to? Would it be better for Thao to stay with the group, even with the trip to the CDC on the horizon? Would it be better to head off on their own, just the two of them again?
Somehow, she didn't think so.
"You think the CDC's a good idea?" Dusty asked eventually, apparently thinking along the same lines as Jenna.
Jenna shrugged slightly, honestly unsure. "I dunno. I think it's a wild stab in the dark, really, but…it's not like I have any better ideas to offer for the group."
"I mean, I don't think there's any government left—do you?" she inquired.
Jenna spat out a breath of laughter. "Hell no. I think the government was one of the first things to fall, to tell you the truth."
"Rick don't think so," Dusty said doubtfully.
"Yeah, I noticed," said Jenna as they rose to their feet, wiping the dirt from their pants. "But, Rick hasn't exactly been awake throughout all of this. He didn't see the way things happened—the way things just…crashed."
"Yeah, so why's he suddenly in charge?" Dusty muttered, picking up her clothes.
Jenna hummed a light laugh, lacing up her shoes and tucking the hems of her cargo pants inside so they'd be out of the way. "According to Shane, this is a collaborative effort," she said wryly. "And, no one's making us go with them, in any case."
"True," Dusty conceded.
They headed back up the road toward camp under the waning sunlight, both of them with still partially damp hair. Jenna's stomach rumbled slightly, but she ignored it. Food would come along eventually.
They'd almost reached camp when a muffled snarling sound could be heard at their left. They halted and peered into the trees that lined the road a good twenty or so feet away, looking for any sign of the walker that was surely the source of the noise. Sure enough, they didn't have to wait long before a skinny walker in shredded denim jeans stumbled through the foliage, falling onto its hands and knees onto the dirt and gravel.
Dusty strode backward immediately, pulling Jenna by the arm with her. Jenna looked back at the girl, seeing the obvious fear in her bright eyes, and an idea came to mind.
"You've never killed one before, have you?" she asked Dusty, looking back at the walker as it pushed itself up to its feet, albeit unsteadily.
Dusty shook her head, wide-eyed. "Naw, I mean…I've got a gun, but I've never actually had to use it, ya know?" she said in a shaky voice. She glanced at Jenna briefly before turning her eyes back to the walker, which was shuffling toward them. "You gonna kill it, or should we get the hell outta here?"
"I could," Jenna said carefully, and then held the machete out for Dusty to take. "But I think you should give it a try."
"What?" Dusty asked, bewildered. "You lost your damn mind?"
"Eventually, you're gonna have to kill one," Jenna reminded her. "You might as well have an idea of what it's like when that time comes—and it will."
"Now?" said Dusty in disbelief, pulling Jenna backward with her still.
"Now's as good a time as any," Jenna pointed out. "There's just one, you're out in the open, and I'm here to cover you," she promised, pulling the Beretta from her belt and loading a round in the chamber. "Dusty," she said intently, gaining the other girl's attention. "You need to know how to do this for yourself, if you wanna survive."
Uncertainly, Dusty reached out and took the machete from Jenna's proffered hand, and looked back at the walker, which was now barely more than ten feet away.
"I'm right here, I won't let it get you, but you need to do it," Jenna urged, nodding at the walker. Dusty nodded, mustering up her willpower, and held the machete out in front of her defensively as the walker drew slowly nearer, snarling and baring its rotted teeth. "Aim for the skull, and follow through," Jenna advised, taking a step to the side to be well out of the way of the swinging blade and raising her gun at the walker.
Dusty raised the blade over her shoulder, preparing to strike, and Jenna watched intently as she gathered up her courage, ready to make the shot if the need presented itself. The walker was now no more than eight feet away, and there was a moment of hesitation before Dusty advanced quickly, swinging the machete down at full force. Jenna watched the blade crack into the skull of the very skinny walker.
Instinctively, Dusty moved back as the body collapsed forward, and her hand remained on the handle of the machete, the blade still embedded in the thing's skull. Jenna turned the safety back on and stowed away her Beretta before stepping forward, taking the handle from Dusty's white-knuckled grasp. The girl was breathing heavily, as though she'd just jogged a mile, and looking down at the corpse with wide eyes.
Jenna braced her foot on the skull and pulled the machete free, giving it a little flick before securing it to her belt once more. She looked at Dusty, understanding what was going through her mind; the relief for your own safety warring with the unsettling feeling that you'd just killed something that had once been a living, breathing person.
"It's not a person anymore," Jenna said softly, placing a hand on Dusty's shoulder.
Dusty shook her head, staring down at the body at their feet. "I know…" she said slowly. "I know, but…I thought it would feel…different."
"Different?" Jenna inquired.
Dusty nodded. "Yeah, different…better, maybe. I dunno."
Jenna nodded then, understanding. "It's not exactly satisfying, putting them down," she said. "At least, not most of the time. Most of the time it's just…"
"Cold," supplied Dusty when Jenna couldn't voice an accurate description.
"Yeah…cold," Jenna agreed solemnly. "But there's no getting around it—it's something you have to do to survive now. Everyone."
They gathered up their things again and headed into the campground, making their way toward the clothesline. Jenna scanned the area and spotted Thao playing with sidewalk chalk with the other kids near the Morales' tent, and was glad that he was enjoying himself, even today. No matter what the adults had to endure, it was good to know that the kids were able to experience the luxury of joy and carefree play every now and then.
"How d'you do it?" Dusty asked while Jenna hung her clothes up on the line, securing them in place with clothespins.
"Do what?" she asked, hanging up her gray t-shirt beside her army green cargo pants.
"Get past the…cold part," Dusty answered eventually. "I mean, I know they kill—I've seen em kill. People I love…my family… But they were people too before all this, ya know? So how d'you get past that?"
Jenna considered that a moment. It was never something she'd ever had to explain to anyone before.
"I guess you just…remind yourself that they're not people anymore," she answered after a moment of thought. "Whoever they were, they died long before their body found its way to you. And you have to do it to keep yourself alive, there's no other way. And, you remind yourself that by killing them, you're not just protecting yourself, but the next person they might've come across."
Dusty nodded slowly, silently, mulling that over, before she raised her eyes to Jenna's. "You said your brother was bit…"
Jenna nodded solemnly. "Brother, father, little sister," she said. "We were hiding out at our dad's house. Had the windows boarded up, the front door blocked from the inside. We only used the backdoor to get in and out when we needed to—when we ran out of water." She shook her head slightly, glossing over the gory details of the events that led up to her family's demise. "The house was swarmed."
"My mama was bit," Dusty said after a heavy pause. "We were gettin outta Savannah, headin to Atlanta for the refugee center they were broadcastin about. She got bit on the way there. Her an my sisters—all three of em. It was jus' me, an' I almost made it to Atlanta. The traffic was backed up way outta the city though, you couldn't get near it. That's where I met Jacki and T-Dog. My car broke down on the side of the road before I got there, an' they gave me a ride in the church van T's got. We met Shane an' Lori on the road when everyone was stopped there. Carol an' Ed were parked next to em. When they started droppin napalm in the city, we decided to get away from the crowds, an' went with Shane up to the quarry."
"Everyone's lost someone," said Jenna quietly.
Dusty nodded in agreement. "Sorry 'bout your brother…an' your daddy an' little sister," she said somberly, giving Jenna's hand a squeeze.
Jenna squeezed back lightly. "Sorry about your mom, and your sisters."
It was getting dark, and Jenna called Thao over to her while she and Dusty made their way to their tent, settling in for the night. She kicked off her shoes and laid her machete on the floor off to the side, so Thao wouldn't step on it by accident, before getting him nestled inside the red sleeping bag beside her.
"Are we leaving here?" he asked curiously, gazing up at her from where he lay at her side.
"Yeah, tomorrow morning, I think," she answered.
"But I like it here," he said, frowning.
"I know, sweetheart," she said, stroking his hair back gently. "But we're gonna see if we can find someplace safer to stay, so we don't lose any more people."
"Will the new place have books?" he asked.
Jenna smirked, holding back a laugh. During their travels together, Jenna had often told him that she hoped the next place they stopped for the night had books. And so, it had become a bit of a requirement in his opinion. He would ask her whether or not she thought a new place they came across had any books. It was when he started doing that that Jenna realized she would have to monitor what she said around him—he was a good mimicker.
"Maybe," she said, smiling. "We'll just have to wait and see when we get there. Go to sleep now, sweetheart—we've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow."
"Okay," he said with a sigh. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, sweetie," she said, kissing his forehead.
"Goodnight, Dusty," he said, turning his head to peer over at her.
Dusty giggled slightly. "'Night, big guy. We'll see you bright an' early in the mornin."
Thao nodded and turned over on his side, snuggling deeper inside the sleeping bag and falling asleep barely a couple minutes later. It had certainly been a very long day, and he'd hardly slept at all the night before.
Jenna pulled the Beretta from her belt and emptied the chamber, replacing the round into the magazine before sliding it back into place. With that done, she tucked it into the front of her belt before crawling into the blue sleeping bag at Thao's side.
"You're real good with your gun, huh?" Dusty assumed.
"I've been trained," Jenna qualified with a shrug. "Been certified since I was seventeen. What about you?" she asked then, recalling what she'd said before taking down the walker.
Dusty laughed lightly. "Jus' got my mama's old gun," she said, pulling her bag over to her and reaching inside of it. "Only ever shot it once—not at anythin movin, though, jus' a target."
She pulled out a small revolver, holding it out carefully for Jenna to take. Jenna accepted the gun and checked the safety and the cylinder before admiring the blued steel, three inch barreled revolver with a rosewood grip. It was a nice little gun, and it was in good condition.
"This is nice," she commented, mock-aiming at the door of the tent in front of her for a moment. "I've never fired a Taurus before."
"Yeah, maybe you can teach me how," Dusty said with a laugh.
"It'd probably be a good idea," Jenna agreed, handing the gun back to her.
Dusty stowed the revolver away into her bag once more, and turned off the lantern before settling down to sleep in her own sleeping bag. Jenna closed her eyes, and knew that she wasn't going to be getting up in a hurry. She was going on forty-eight hours of no sleep and no food, and she was starting to feel the effects.
It wasn't long before she fell into deep, dreamless sleep—merciful, dreamless sleep.
Morning came much sooner than Jenna would've liked, but voicing her complaints wouldn't do anyone any good, so she just gathered hers and Thao's things and packed them away, making sure to grab her clothes from the line as well. She helped Dusty disassemble the tent and pack it away before stashing their combined bags into the back of T-Dog's church van. Jenna had agreed to ride with them, since they had plenty of room in the spacious vehicle.
Jenna handed Thao a water bottle as she joined the gathering down near the cars. It would be his only breakfast, unfortunately.
"Alright, everybody—listen up," Shane told them once they'd all gathered. "Those of you with CBs, we're gonna be on channel 40, but let's keep the chatter down, okay? If you got a problem, don't have a CB, can't get a signal, anythin at all, you jus' gotta hit your horn one time. That'll stop the caravan. Any questions?"
"We're, uh…we're not going," said Gabe after a moment of hesitation.
"We have family in Birmingham," Miranda explained in response to the heavy silence and the looks of shock. "We wanna be with our people."
"You're on your own, you won't have anyone to watch your back," Shane reminded Gabe intently, clearly not agreeing with the Morales family's decision to split away from the group.
"We'll take the chance," said Gabe, more conviction in his voice now. "I gotta do what's best for my family."
"You sure?" Rick asked, obvious doubt in his expression.
"We talked about it," Gabe confirmed, looking over at his wife and children at his side. "We're sure."
Rick nodded, accepting that decision against his better judgment. "Alright," he conceded. "Shane," he said then, looking to his friend.
He and Shane knelt down, the bag of guns between them, and rifled through its contents, selecting a decent sized Smith & Wesson revolver and a box of .38 rounds to go with it. A parting gift of sorts, Jenna understood. They approached Gabe, Rick handing over the gun and Shane passing along the accompanying ammo.
"Box is half full," Shane informed.
Gabe nodded appreciatively, tucking the revolver into his belt and shaking Shane's hand, and then Rick's.
"Thank you all," said Miranda a little tearfully, looking around at the group. "For everything."
Heartfelt goodbyes were shared by the Morales family with most of the group. Eliza and Sophia wrapped their arms around each other tightly, tears in their eyes. Thao and Louis waved glumly at each other, both of them shuffling their feet in the dirt. As soon as Jacki released Miranda, Jenna was pulled into an embrace by the young mother.
"Thank you," Jenna told her sincerely. "For looking after Thao for me so much."
"Thank you for looking out for my husband," Miranda replied, and Jenna nodded, somewhat surprised. She hadn't realized that anyone had seen her keep the walkers away from Gabe's turned back.
Jenna moved over to the Morales children, kissing them each on the head once. "Take care of your mom and dad, alright?" she told them.
At her left, Miranda was holding Thao's face in her hands gently. "Goodbye, pequeño," she said, kissing his forehead. "You be good."
Thao nodded, and moved back to Jenna's side while she stepped back, giving the others room so say their goodbyes as well. Dusty moved to stand beside her after sharing a hug with Miranda and wiped at her eyes lightly. Jenna couldn't say that she blamed the Morales family for deciding to go their own way. It was something she had considered, of course, and the CDC was a bit of a stretch, to say the least, no less than the Morales's finding their family in Birmingham.
All too soon, they were loading into the very Honda Accord that had brought Jenna to this group days ago, Louis and Eliza waving final goodbyes from the backseat.
"What makes you think our odds are any better?" Shane asked Rick in an undertone while Jenna passed them on her way to the church van.
So she and Dusty weren't the only ones with doubts, then, she understood as she passed the dismembered Challenger with the note taped to the driver's side window reading MORGAN, GOING TO CDC, THIS AREA NOT SAFE—RICK.
Once everyone was settled into one of the many vehicles, the caravan made the slow, winding journey out of the quarry. When they reached the main road, the Honda Accord honked twice—a final farewell—and the Morales family turned right while the rest of the caravan turned left. Jenna wished them well, and hoped to God that those children remained safe along whatever journey they were in for.
The caravan moved down the road under the early morning sky, the RV at the front, Shane's Jeep Wrangler bringing up the rear. In the middle of the van with Thao and Dusty, Jenna wondered vaguely why they were using so many vehicles. If the CDC didn't pan out, they were wasting fuel.
Jenna wasn't paying much attention to the time that passed, lost in her own mind, and was snapped back to the present when the van rolled to a stop.
"What's up?" Jenna asked T-Dog as he pulled the keys from the ignition.
"Dunno," he replied. "But the others are stopped."
They exited the vehicle then, and approached the small gathering that was forming up at the RV ahead of them. Dale already had the grate of the engine open, and smoke was spewing out of it as they approached.
"I told ya we'd never get far on that hose," said Dale to Rick. "That's why I needed the one from the cube van."
"Can't ya rig it?" Rick asked hopefully.
"That's all it's been so far," said Dale. "It's more duct tape than hose—and I'm outta duct tape."
"I see somethin up ahead," said Shane, peering through his binoculars. "Gas station if we're lucky."
Jacki rushed out from the RV then, startling everyone slightly. "Y'all," she said, a little breathless. "Jim—it's bad. I don't think he can take any more," she told them fretfully, before heading back into the RV to tend to the waning man inside.
Jenna sighed, hanging her head. Jim was going to die, CDC notwithstanding. She recalled her brother burning out in a matter of hours…Jim had been running that fever for far longer…it was only a matter of time.
"Rick, you wanna hold down the fort?" Shane suggested. "I'll scout up ahead, see what I can bring back."
"Yeah, I'll come along too—I'll back you up," T-Dog offered.
Shane nodded in appreciation, and then turned to the rest of them. "Y'all keep your eyes open now—we'll be right back," he assured them.
With that, he and T-Dog hopped into his Jeep and headed off down the road while Rick entered the RV, and Jenna watched them go for a while, feeling rather useless. There was a dying man in the immobile RV, and they were stuck on the side of the road, hoping Shane and T-Dog returned with the tools necessary to get them moving again. This was a situation in which Jenna couldn't do anything useful, and that was not sitting well with her at all.
She looked around, searching for something to do—and then realized that they were all stranded on the road with people out of their vehicles and no one on watch.
"Come on, buddy," she said to Thao, taking his hand and walking toward the back of the RV. "Help me keep watch for a while, okay?"
"Okay," he agreed, eager to help.
She helped him climb the ladder to the roof of the RV and stood at the middle, gazing around at the area from the new vantage point. She made sure to keep him at her side at all time, ensuring that he wouldn't go tumbling over the edge.
The grassy fields on the left side of the road weren't a problem—there was no place for anything to hide there, and if there was a walker, they'd see it coming long before it reached them. It was the dense foliage at the right side of the road that gave them any reason for worry. It was impossible to see through, and there was no telling what lied in wait within it. Jenna just hoped Shane and T-Dog returned with something—more duct tape at the least—and they could get moving soon. This sitting out in the open like a floating decoy in a pond was not exactly ideal.
Thankfully, it wasn't very long before Shane and T-Dog returned with duct tape, and Dale set to work, using half the roll to repair the severely impaired radiator hose. Jenna climbed down the ladder of the RV with Thao clinging to her back like a monkey and joined the others who'd reconvened around the side of the Winnebago, setting her boy down in front of her.
"He wants us to leave him here," Rick said to the group in a heavy, weary tone. "He doesn't wanna make the trip, says it's too much for 'im."
"And he's lucid?" Carol asked, bewildered like the rest of them.
"He seems to be," Rick confirmed, taking the sheriff's hat from his head and running a hand through his hair. "I would say, yes."
Jenna, like the others, was lost for words. Jim wanted them to leave him behind on the side of the road so he could undergo that painful transformation—burn through that scorching fever until he became a walker. That was…beyond grim, in her opinion. But it was his life, his death. He was granted the luxury of deciding how he went, and if this was what he'd chosen…who were they to tell him otherwise? Jenna didn't have to like it, but she could accept it, she supposed. As horrible as it made her feel.
"Back at camp," said Dale after a moment, gaining everyone's attention, "when I said Daryl might be right and you shut me down…you misunderstood," he said, speaking to Rick. "I would never go along with callously killing a man, but I was just gonna suggest that we ask Jim what he wants. And I think we have an answer…"
"Jus' leave him here, while we take off?" Shane asked Rick, standing beside his friend. He shook his head. "Man, I'm not sure I could live with that."
Jenna cast her eyes downward then, feeling a slight blow to the chest at those words. Because she knew that she could live with this, even if none of the others could. She lived with far worse every day… Compared to that, this was practically painless. It made her feel sick to her stomach, but it was painless, nonetheless.
She scanned her eyes around the group furtively before casting them downward once more. These people weren't like her—not at all—and she'd never felt more out of place amongst them than she did in that moment.
"It's not your call," said Lori then, taking everyone by mild surprise. Jenna looked up toward her to see her standing with her hands on her hips, staring between Rick and Shane intently. "Neither one of you," she said.
Petty as it was, Jenna was glad that she didn't have to be the one to point out that it didn't matter whether they were prepared to live with this decision or not—because it was Jim's decision to make.
Jim was then carefully carried out from the RV by Rick and Shane, and it was obvious that the infection was taking its toll on the poor man. He looked like death already, and every little movement had him wincing and groaning in pain. Whatever the infection was, it was killing him, slowly—just like it had with Josh. And it was horrible to watch. As much as she wanted to retreat back to the church van with Thao, Jenna made herself stay put and see the man off. It was the least she could do.
Shane and Rick set him down carefully so that he was sitting up against a tree. Though he was incapable of movement now, Jenna couldn't seem to stop the dark, morbid region of her mind from wondering how long it would be before he was up and moving again—searching for someone to tear into.
"Hey," Jim breathed, looking up at the treetop above him, "another damn tree," he said to Shane with a weak laugh.
"Hey, Jim…" said Shane, clearly very disconcerted by the whole situation. "You know it doesn't need to be this," he urged, as though begging the man to change his mind.
Jim closed his eyes and shook his head—ever so slowly. "No," he breathed. "It's good. Breeze feels nice…"
Shane sighed heavily, hanging his head in defeat. "Okay," he said quietly, and looked back up at Jim. "Alright." He gave the man a gentle clap on the shoulder and stepped back, giving the others room to move forward and say a final farewell.
Jacki was the first to approach him. "Jus' close your eyes, sweetie," she murmured, kneeling before him. "Don't fight."
He closed his eyes obligingly, and she kissed his cheek before stepping back, wiping at her eyes as she returned to the parked caravan. The others moved forward to say goodbye, and Rick offered him a revolver, which he denied, assuring them that they would need it more than he would. Jenna was one of the last to step forward, Thao moving with her. Seeing how heavily the man was breathing, and knowing that he was in a great deal of pain, she was careful to kneel at his side without leaning against him in anyway.
"You were right," he breathed, a small, amused grin on his sunken face. "They didn't execute me after all."
Jenna closed her eyes, thinking that an execution may have been more merciful in this case, but choosing to keep that to herself. Instead, she laid her hand over his as lightly as she could, not wanting to cause him any further pain.
"Thank you," she said softly. "Thank you for keeping the rest of us safe," she said, recalling how hard he'd fought the night of the attack.
He nodded slightly. "Keep your boy close," he said, turning his eyes to Thao. "An' keep the old Winnebago up an' runnin for me," he added with a weary laugh.
She smiled slightly and nodded, and then patted Thao's back. "Say goodbye to Jim?" she suggested, nodding at the man.
Thao patted Jim's shoulder gently, having taken note of the delicacy with which the rest of them had handled the ill man. "Bye, Jim. Go to sleep, okay?"
Jim smiled weakly and nodded. "Okay, buddy," he agreed.
Jenna gave Jim's hand the lightest of squeezes, and then rose to her feet, leading Thao back to the van. Dusty and Jacki joined her shortly after, and T-Dog, already in the driver's seat, started up the car when the caravan started moving again, one passenger short.
It was dusk by the time they reached the CDC. They'd woven carefully through the city streets, avoiding the main roads and taking back ways as often as possible. Though Jenna still thought this was a bad idea, she exited the van with the others, keeping Thao right at her left and pulling the machete from her belt as she took in their surroundings. The large building was surrounded by the bodies of dead soldiers, and the place smelled worse than anything Jenna had been exposed to for quite some time.
Carefully, the group moved forward toward the building, Rick and Shane with their guns out, on high-alert. So far, things didn't look promising. They were choking and gagging in response to the nearly overwhelming stench of rotten bodies.
"Keep movin, stay together," Rick urged them, leading the way to the front of the building.
"Shhhh!" Glenn urged them as they all choked and coughed.
They navigated their way through what looked like a dumping ground for fallen bodies, sometimes having to step over them. Jenna took note of a few of the civilian bodies she stepped over, and spotted a gunshot wound to the head in most—and with some contempt, she wondered whether they'd been alive or dead when they'd received that shot. She'd seen the way the military handled things.
Eventually, they reached the front of the building, where large metal shutters had been lowered, blocking their entrance. Shane gave the metal a shove to see how sturdy it was, and attempted to pull it up, to no avail. Jenna scanned her eyes around their surroundings, holding Thao close at her side. If they had to run back to the cars, she would prefer it if their path was clear.
"There's nobody here," said T-Dog breathlessly, staring at the unmoving metal shutters.
"Then why are the shutters down?" Rick demanded intently.
"Walkers!" Daryl called suddenly, and Jenna spun back around, seeing that he was right. A few walkers had wandered into the area and seemed to have spotted them, though it would take a few minutes for them to actually reach the group.
Even so, the others started to panic, and the kids began to cry out in fear.
Daryl shot down the closest walker with his Horton and spun around, glaring daggers at Rick. "You led us to a graveyard!" he spat accusingly.
"He made a call," Dale defended, though his voice betrayed his obvious panic.
"It was the wrong damn call!" Daryl yelled angrily.
"Shut up!" Shane said through clenched teeth, striding up to Daryl and getting in his face threateningly. "You hear me? Shut up!" he demanded, giving Daryl's shoulder a shove, and turned back to Rick, who was still gazing up at the shutters in disbelief. "Rick," he said, imploring his friend to see reason, "this is a dead end."
"Where're we gonna go?" Carol wept, clutching Sophia tightly.
"Shane's right," said Lori tensely to her husband, "we can't be this close to the city after dark!"
Jenna frowned slightly for a moment—what the hell did the dark have to do with anything? The city had just as many walkers roaming through it during the day as it did at night, and it wasn't like they were nocturnal. But now was hardly the time to point that out—people were panicking, and more walkers were sure to join the other few that lingered in the distance.
"Fort Benning, Rick—still an option," suggested Shane, capturing Jenna's attention as immediately as though he'd jabbed her with a red-hot fire poker.
What?
"On what?" snapped Andrea—loudly. "No food, no fuel, that's a hundred miles!"
"A hundred twenty-five," corrected Glenn anxiously, "I checked the map."
"Forget Fort Benning—we need answers tonight, now!" Lori demanded sharply.
Jenna really couldn't take this anymore, and she found that she couldn't hold her tongue that time. "Calm the fuck down!" she hissed to the others at the same time Glenn shushed them again, and ignored the furious glare she received from Lori and Andrea in response. "You're worried about walkers—stop making noise," she hissed then, as she apparently needed to elaborate.
"We'll think of something," Rick assured his wife—though he looked like he was at the end of his rope himself.
Meanwhile, the others continued to panic, and more noise was made. Shane was urging the rest of them to head back to the cars, which Jenna was all for. The sooner they got the hell out of the city, the safer they'd be, and the sooner everyone would chill out.
"The camera—it moved!" Rick called to them, gaining everyone's attention once more.
"Rick, it's an automated device, man," Shane reasoned tensely, returning to his friend's side. "It's just gears winding down, okay? Now c'mon—we gotta move. This place is dead, Rick, it's dead—"
Rick broke away from Shane and pounded on the metal shutters, emitting a booming rattle that Jenna was sure carried quite a ways away.
"Rick, there's nobody here!" Lori screamed shrilly, holding Carl clasped against her.
"I know you're in there!" Rick yelled up to the camera.
For fuck's sake! Jenna thought in exasperation as she ran a hand through her hair, contemplating just running with Thao and grabbing their bags from the van. This was exactly why she'd never stayed with a group before. If she just threw Thao over her shoulder and ran, she would be well out of the way of the handful of walkers that were making a slow, stumbling trek toward the noise, and they could be heading down an alley and into an abandoned building for the night… Then, who knew…maybe Guillermo wouldn't mind taking them in for a night or two to get themselves situated before making their next move…they could fix themselves up a car in the chop-shop and be well on their way…
"You're killing us!" Rick screamed at the camera while Shane dragged him away from the building. "You're killing us!"
And, suddenly, just as the panic and discord seemed to reach its summit, there was a loud, rattling, metallic clatter that drowned out the rest of the noise, and they turned around to gaze back at the building. The shutters had lifted, unleashing a burst of blinding white light that seemed to freeze all of them for one endless moment. Someone had opened the door…