I think I can call this the halfway point. I've started working on the second half which is where the story will really get moving (and starts to resemble the fairy tale) so those chapters may come out a little slower than I've been posting.

Thank you again for the reviews and keep them coming!

And as warned in the previous chapter this chapter is also M rated.

My phone kept ringing as I angrily made my way back to California, but I ignored it. I had had enough of the emotional push and pull in our relationship. I was typically a carefree person, but his secrecy was turning me into someone else. Not only that, but there was nothing I resented more than someone telling me how I was supposed to feel. I couldn't be with him until he realized that. He should have realized that by now.

For weeks, I ignored his calls and his pleading text as I focussed on my school work, but I couldn't deny how much I missed him. Our night together was now a part of me. Every night I tried to sleep I was haunted by the feel of his soft lips against my breast, his scruffy chin tickling me as he kissed his way down my body, and the press of his fingers in my flesh as he drew me closer to him. In his every touch and action, he had shown me love, yet I wasn't ready to let go of my anger.

"Are you alright?" Hannah asked.

"Ya," I said with an attempted smile.

Hannah gave me a dubious look. "No, you're not. Spill it."

"It's nothing. Just family issues."

"Is your mom trying to persuade you into becoming an accountant again?" she guessed, sitting back in her chair.

"Thankfully no. Just life and relationships."

She arched her brow at me and the corner of his mouth twisted upward. "You have a boyfriend."

"No."

"A girlfriend?"

I chuckled. "No."

"You know I don't judge, Emilia. You can tell me anything."

I took a deep breath and thought of how to word it without giving up my secret. "You know my sister Cecile got married not too long ago, right?"

"Ya. Didn't you say this guy was a douchebag?" she asked knotting her recently dyed blood red hair back with a pencil.

"I may have, but forget that for a moment. Things have changed for them. Greg is a better person now and completely in love with her," I lied changing the story to match my own. "He's been the perfect husband lately and has done so much for her over the last few months. More than she knows how to repay, but at the same time he's been secretive and distant. She got mad at him for it…"

"Good for her," Hannah interjected.

"But she still loves him," I continued. "So she's not sure if she should give him another chance or just move on with her life."

"I say she should continue on with her life," Hannah said. "Sounds like he's cheating on her."

I let out a frustrated sigh. "Let's just say she knows he's not, but knows he's suffering from something that happened in his past and she feels he's not being honest with her because he's trying to protect her from this past."

Hannah thought this over for a moment before saying, "I don't know. This is why I don't do relationships."

"Come on. I need your opinion on this."

"Alright. If I were her I would tell Greg," she said his name with a tone of disgust, "that he should realize hiding his past is not protecting your sister. The point of relationships is two people creating one life and you have to share the good and bad… which is why I don't do relationships. I'm quite happy having my life to myself."

"Ya. I suppose it is," I sighed and returned my gaze back out the window.

"Remember, you can tell me anything, Emilia."

"Thanks, Hannah," I said looking over my shoulder at her with a grateful smile. "I think I'm going to go for a small walk, just to clear my head."

Making my way to a nearby park I rummaged through my bag and found my cell phone. I took a deep breath and sitting down on a park bench I called Ben.

"Emilia," he answered with a relieved breath.

"Hi."

"You called," he said in a thready voice. "I hoped you'de call. I've been so worried since you left. Are you alright?"

"I guess," I answered shortly.

"I'm sorry for all my strange behavior and I don't blame you for reacting the way you did. I deserved it, but I promise it won't always be like this. One day I will be an open book to you. I know it's too much to ask, but please trust me on that."

I didn't answer straight away but letting go of my grudge, piece by piece, I said, "I would trade all the things you've given me for just a moment of normalcy between us. I just don't understand how you can be so loving with me one moment and so distant the next. You say you love me, but you keep things from me. How is that love?"

"I know and maybe I was selfish for not thinking of how difficult this would be for you before I brought you into all this. I'm sorry for that, but now that I have you I don't want to let you walk away. That's selfish too. I know it is, but I love you, Emilia. I love the way you see the world. I love your rebellious nature and I love your taste in music. I love your flowery scent, the way you look, and if you only knew how much I want to see your face when we made love then you would know this isn't an ideal situation for me either."

With my anger replaced with longing, I let out a long breath. "I wanted to see you too, but that's not going to happen anytime soon, is it?"

"Not yet, but there will be a day. Please, just trust me," he begged.

"I will as long as you don't push me away."

"I won't make that mistake again." He paused for a moment before adding, "I'm aching to hold you again."

"I miss being with you too," I admitted. "I'll be there again for winter break, which isn't too far away."

"Good," he said in a tone of relief. "I'll be counting the days."

I was running late. I had told Ben I'd be back to his house in time for dinner, but between my last minute packing and traffic I pulled into his driveway four hours later than expected. It was already dark and I knew he wouldn't be downstairs, so after entering the house I made my way up the stairs.

"Ben, are you in there?" I called, pressing my ear against his door. "I'm sorry I'm running late." I knocked, but the silence remained on the other side of the door. "Ben? I'm sorry. I forgot to do my laundry and then there was—"

Before I could finish my list of excuses the door cracked open, a large hand reached out grabbing my arm, and quickly pulled me into the darkness. "It doesn't matter," was murmured in my ear as his hands firmly grasped my waist. "You're here now."

As before I was unable to see him, but as he captured my lips and pressed my body against his strong form I quickly discovered he was already naked. I moaned contently as I dragged my palms over the muscular contours of his chest and melted into our kiss as his tongue traced over mine. During our time away I had tried to imagine the feel of him against me, but I realized how weak my imagination was when it came to Ben. No amount of fantasizing could equate to the splendor of his firm hands migrating down my body and his wet curved lips against mine.

Impatiently, I wiggled out of his embrace and quickly began removing my clothes. He joined in pulling my underwear down to my ankles and then slid his hand up my inner thighs. I moaned as I felt his fingers slide between my folds while his other hand roamed over my backside and his lips and tongue began their own exploration. He had barely begun and already I felt a build rising within me.

With a moan, I grasped his shoulders as my legs began to tremble and with his arms securely holding me upright he kissed his way back up my body. While his lips trailed fiery kisses up my stomach, between my breast, and over my shoulder he lifted me and brought my legs around his waist. His hands remained on my bottom, raising my body further up his so that he could nibble and kiss my breast. Reveling in the feel of his lashing tongue and grazing teeth, I tangled my fingers in his silken hair and whimpered an incoherent plea for more.

Any other time I would have enjoyed the lingering kisses and caresses, but it had been too long without him. Impatiently, I tightened my legs around his waist and sensing my eagerness he chuckled against my breast. Slowly, he made his way up my neck and as his lips found mine I realized he was lowering me onto him. Gradually he entered me and even as I gasped he didn't break our kiss. Instead, his lips formed against mine into a satisfied grin before deepening the kiss and groaning in pleasure.

There was nothing leisure or tender after we fell onto the bed. His movements were without restraint and so were my cries. Feeling I couldn't get enough of him my lips and hands moved over him frantically, touching and tasting all that I had missed while I was away. It was a relief to finally have him again, but it was also difficult knowing I'd have to give him up once more to return back to school. I wasn't sure I could.

"I needed this," he whispered wildly in my ear, speaking the words that were in my mind. "I needed you so badly."

I was too lost to the feeling of my clenching center and the tingling warmth where we joined to give any intelligible reply. Instead, I just clung to him and met his movements with equal desperation until we were utterly spent.

There was something almost magical about our time together in the darkness after we made love. I almost believed if I remained quiet enough I could hear the sound of our connection, as though it were a physical thing. In a way I think we preferred the silence because words seemed unnecessary. With each touch, that silent understanding grew stronger and awoke a communication that was done on a deeper level. Still, there were three words he had already said to me that I hadn't to him; three words that were on the tip of my tongue since he pulled me into his room.

With our initial carnal reuniting out of the way we laid on our sides, his body curled around mine and cuddled under the blankets. But, our cuddling didn't last long as our hands began to roam and with our arousal rekindled we brought our bodies together a second time, moving together slowly and savoring each brush of our bodies until we both came.

"Can we do it that way every time?" I asked with a contented sigh as I turned around to feel his warm chest against mine and to see his face through touch.

He hummed a laugh and kissed my thumb as it swept past his lips. "I wouldn't be against it."

"Was I too loud earlier?"

"No. Be as loud as you want. I love hearing all your sounds of pleasure," he practically purred as one of his hands slid over my bottom.

"I don't want to sleep," I said tangling my legs with his. "I want to enjoy this as long as I can."

"Me too," he sighed before lifting my chin and bringing my lips to his for a kiss.

His kiss left warm pools in my stomach and did so to the point I was sure I would drown within my own feelings. In a way, I wanted to. I wanted to let go of what was holding me back and sink into everything that was becoming us.

"Ben?"

"Hm?"

My heart was thrumming with feelings of love, but as I went to say it I found my voice refused to work. All the unusual circumstances of our relationship resurfaced in my mind and an anxious knot tightened in my stomach.

In the end denial won out and instead I stupidly said, "You have really nice arms."

"Thanks. You have a really nice everything," he said giving my bottom a teasing swat.

We were playful with each other after that and our moods remained light. He told me stories of his life in Washington, of the follies of his wild youth, and of all the festivals and concerts he had gone to. It should have left me feeling at ease knowing more about his mysterious past, but all it did was leave me more perplexed since many of the bands he mentioned were from more current music genres and the people and scenes he described didn't seem to match the past of someone his age.

Nothing about him seemed like the man I saw during the day. Physically he felt younger, his voice sounded less rough, and his flexibility matched that of someone in their 20s rather than their 60s. With everything I had gathered and heard, I could hold back no longer.

"I know you probably won't answer this, but I've got to ask because no matter how much I try to accept everything, I can't," I said. "Are you truly Benjamin Rogers or are you someone else… like his son that has some sort of bizarre arrangement with him because I just feel like I'm being tested."

"No Emilia," he said, gently brushing his fingers through my hair. "It's really me and I promise I would never test you. Also, I would never let another man touch you."

"Sorry, but can you blame me for trying to come up with different theories?"

"Not at all. I just feel awful for making you go through that at all." He then fell silent and after some thought added, "I never want to make you feel unsure or insecure. I love you. When you're not around I wonder if you're happy and safe. I miss the sound of your voice… your scent." He let out a content sigh. "Our conversations, even your snark. It's a never ending list. My love for you is endless. I think that's the first time I've ever felt that way for another person."

I thought this over and began to contemplate my own feelings for him. I missed him terribly when I was back in school and sex with him was mind blowing, but I didn't feel like I could describe my feelings for him as endless. They had a wall and that wall was built with bricks of suspicion and mistrust.

"I guess there are just different kinds of love," I muttered but meant only in thought.

Ben tensed. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing," I lied. "Just babbling, I guess."

"No. I'd like to know," he said honestly and without threat. "I want to know how you feel."

"I don't really know how I feel, Ben," I admitted, "Or I just don't know how to trust those feelings."

After a long silence, he moved away from me saying, "The sun will be rising soon. I have some things I have to do." I then heard him get out of the bed and pull on his clothes.

"I guess I'll be here when you get back," I said despondently.

He let out a heated breath. "I'm sorry," he said sitting next to me on the bed. "I'm just frustrated."

"Because I'm being indecisive?" I assumed.

"Not so much that. I just hate this obstacle between us and I'm ready for it to end," he muttered before placing a kiss to my forehead. "But, I promise we'll make it through this."

After that he left, leaving me in the darkness and feeling all the more lost.