Lost and Found:
Chapter 13: Changes Afoot
Authors note: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did Sirius Black and Severus Snape would have been doing some serious kissing in canon. Sadly this is fanfiction and its the only place I can make them kiss.
MyLifeAsASlytherin: I'm glad you like it! For some reason I'm not getting an email when you review. I'm sorry for not saying anything to you! I didn't see it for some reason!
luxa28: I'm sorry for the confusion! Can you pm me and tell me how I can clarify it?
mizzrazz72: it's happening. Finally happening!
Upon waking, it took Severus a moment to register precisely where he was and to remember the events of that morning, but after opening his eyes and seeing his bedroom, along with feeling his son in his arms, he remembered. He had to come up with a suitable punishment for this behavior. But before he could begin thinking, a small voice asks him, "Daddy, am I in trouble?" Severus sits up, pulling Canan onto his knee and kissing the top of his head. "Yes Canan, your in big trouble. You not only disobeyed me, but you put your life in danger as well. Had I lost you, I don't think I would have been able to deal with that." Canan began to shake when Severus said he was in trouble. He hadn't been in serious trouble since he came to live with his dad. Sure there was the odd scolding, but he'd never done anything like this. He was afraid Severus wouldn't want him anymore. "Calm down. I'm not the MacSwans. I won't hurt you. Your in trouble because I love you and you disobeyed me when I was trying to protect you. To start off, 100 points from Slytherin for failing to follow directions and placing yourself in danger." It pained Severus to take points from his own house, but he did what had to be done. "Next you'll be serving a months detention with Professor Binns. And finally, there are 44 days until your birthday. You will not use any muggle electronics until that time. I will be confiscating all your tapes, films, television and games. Sirius will be informed and any time you spend with your brother will be free of any electronics. In addition to that, you will help me maintain our quarters more than you do regularly. You'll do the dishes and wipe down the kitchen on weekends and any time we don't eat in the great hall, and you'll sweep and mop as well. You'll return directly to our quarters after class and if you wish to go to the library you'll be accompanied." Canan looked shocked.
"What's that look for?" Severus asks. Canan hugged him tightly. "You still want me. And your not going to hurt me." Severus wrapped his arms around the child. He knew that there would be a lot of anxiety his first time being in trouble, but hearing those words broke his heart. "Sweetheart there's nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. Your my child. There's nobody and nothing that's more precious to me than you. What happened today scared me. When you threatened Albus I thought I was going to watch you die. I couldn't go on if I had lost you again. These last 7 months have been the happiest of my life. I was terrified. All I wanted was for you to be safe, and what you did today wasn't very safe at all. I hate to think what would have happened if you hadn't got that hex out and Sirius hadn't shown up."
"Daddy?" Canan asks, lying his head on his shoulder. "Yes sweetheart?" Severus asks, kissing the top of his head. "I was scared too. Of the same things. I didn't want to lose my dad. I was so scared when he grabbed you. If you died I would have lost the first person who ever loved me and I didn't want to go back to the MacSwan's either." At this point Canan was crying again and Severus shushes him and rocks him back and forth comfortingly. "Canan, I promise you, if anything ever were to happen to me, you would never go back there. Your godparents, Lucius and Narcessia would take care of you, and if for some reason they couldn't, Sirius would, and if he couldn't, Molly and Arthur Weasley would. No mater what happens, you will be safe and loved. I promise you that. You'll never see hide nor hair of those muggles again." Severus promised, kissing the top of his head. They stayed like that for a few minuets before Severus says, "Come on. Let's get some lunch. How does Macaroni and cheese sound?" Severus asks. Canan finally smiles and wipes his eyes. "That sounds good." He says.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the castle, Sirius and Remus were making their way down the corridor to the dungeons that lead to Severus' quarters. Thats when they hear a thick highlander accent call out for Sirius. "Mister Black, a word, if you would be so kind." It was the only teacher that had made Sirius Black think twice about any questionable plans he may have had in his school days. "Professor McGonagall. What may I do for you?" He asks, trying to remember his manners and prevent himself from being transfigured into a toilet plunger. He was no longer a student after all, and as such, there was no rule stopping her from doing something like that. "Sirius there are two things wrong with you addressing me as Professor. The first of which is you are no longer my student and I'm no longer your teacher. The second of which is I'm now the Headmistress of Hogwarts. Which leads me to my next point. As I'm no longer teaching, Hogwarts is in need of a new transfigurations professor and head of Griffindor. I know that you're no longer in need of the Fidelius charm and have young Mr. Potter to support. It would be safest for him here at Hogwarts and you received an Exceeds Expectations on your transfiguration N.E.W.T.S." She points out. Sirius sputters for a moment and his jaw goes slack before he finally asks, "Are you offering me a job?" Minerva rolls her eyes and says, "That's very perceptive of you Mister Black. Don't make me regret my offer."
Sirius comes to his senses and says, "I apologize. I'm just a bit shocked. I would love to teach. When can I start?" Minerva smiles at him and says, "Tomorrow Mister Black. I had all my lessons planed until the end of the year. You may use those. Next year, however, you're on your own. Also, I might suggest you register your animagus form. While I was able to overlook it when you were students, you did transform in a hall filled with students, and changed back when it was full of aurors." Sirius blanches a bit. "Oh shit. How am I going to explain that to mad eye?" He asks nobody in particular. Minerva clears her throat. "Do watch your language Professor Black. Now if I may remind you, as an expert in transfiguration and as an animagus, I do know of cases where an animagus first transforms in highly stressful circumstances. It's rare, but not unheard of. Naturally, I'm not suggesting anything though. As headmistress it would be irresponsible." As she finishes her lips curl into a hardly discernible smile.
"Any ways, good day to you Professor Black. Carry about your business." She says turning and walking toward the head masters office, leaving both Sirius and Remus wondering if that just happened. "Well let's get back to what we were doing. I have some things I would like to talk to Severus about. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you watched Canan." Sirius finally says, stepping out of his shock. "Right. After you then Professor Black." Remus says, allowing him to lead the way down the hall to the staircase that would take them to the dungeons. A few minuets later they arrived at the portrait of Merlin that guarded Severus' quarters. Fitting that the head of Slytherin would have the most famous Slytherin aside from Salazar himself as the one who guarded his rooms. "Could you please tell Severus that Sirius Black and Remus Lupin wish to speak to him?" He asks. "Of course. I'll fetch him right away." He says, disappearing from his portrait only to have Severus swing it open a few moments later.
"Hey Severus. I had a talk with Remus and I explained to him about your son and about Harry. I trust him." Severus nods his head and says, "I see. I didn't expect anything less. I presume you wish to talk to me now like you stated you would like to earlier?" Sirius nods his head. "Do you mind if Remus watches Canan while we talk?" Severus raised an eyebrow. It was one of those adult talks it seemed, which children shouldn't be privy to. "I suppose it will have to do." He says and turns to Remus. "He has a paper due in defense against the dark arts. He's not to go to the library alone until he's ungrounded. If you would accompany him to help with his research and essay, we'd be killing two birds with one stone. Sirius wishes to talk privately about something, and it saves me a trip. However, if he comes back with so much as a paper cut, you will regret the very day you were born." The werewolf swallows heavily and nods his head. He knew better than to mess with an overprotective mother. Though Severus would slip someone an untraceable potion if anyone were to say it, that's undeniably what he was right now. "I promise. He'll be fine. I may be able to provide some pointers for his paper." He promises, planning on casting a few protection charms on him just to be safe.
"Very well. Now that we have that sorted, Canan, go with Remus to the library. If you get caught trying to slip into the restricted section you'll have another week's worth of detention. You didn't hear this from me, but a notice me not and a silencing charm work well for that." Severus advises, causing a look of bewilderment to settle on the faces of both Griffindors, causing Severus to grin slyly. "Slytherins are clever. And with all that knowledge available it would be a shame to waste it. Griffindors aren't the only ones who go sneaking into the restricted section." Sirius' jaw falls slack for a moment before words finally come to him. "I never thought you would have snuck into the restricted section while we were in Hogwarts." Severus shakes his head. "There was a lot of information I needed in the restricted section in my seventh year. I got pretty good at sneaking in. The books are no longer restricted after the events of that year." Sirius nods and pats his shoulder understandingly. The books on magic's impact on reproduction had been moved to the health section of the library in 1980. It had been controversial, but an essential change. While Hogwarts' board of governors tended to be rather conservative, they couldn't overlook the fact that if the students had been educated on the possibility and given the information about it, it could prevent situations like what happened to Severus from happening again.
After a somber pause Severus clears his throat and says, "Well then, go get to work on that essay. It won't write it's self." Canan nods his head and hugs Severus goodbye, which Severus responded to with a kiss to the forehead before he finally took off down the hall with Remus, leaving him and Sirius alone to talk. Severus beckons him in and shuts the portrait behind him, levitating a tea pot to the stove and leading him to the sitting room, decidedly a bit tense about the conversation, even though he had been told not to worry. As he sat down, he started to fidget a bit, hands drifting toward his sleeves. Sirius sat beside him and took his hands into his own.
Sirius couldn't help but take a moment to appreciate Severus' hands. They had long, slender fingers that were perfect for prepping potions ingredients, along with delicate knuckles and a narrow bone structure. They were still smaller than his own, and almost looked feminine. They would certainly be well suited to playing a piano. He had the fleeting thought that perhaps a ring would look good on his finger, but he quickly brushed it aside for the matter at hand. He rubs small circles on the top of his hands and looks into Severus' eyes, taking a deep breath. "Severus, why do you do that?" He asks, hoping this conversation wouldn't go south. If he ruined things between them before they even started he wasn't sure what he would do.
"Do what?" The younger man asks, trying to keep his anxiety contained and in control. Sirius clarified his question by squeezing his hands and taking a deep breath. "Why do you play with your sleeves like that?" He asks, bracing himself for a hex or bitter vitriol, but none came. Severus instead looked deep in thought, not even pulling his hands away. It just felt so natural. "I guess it's a force of habit. Some people tap their foot or chew their nails when their nervous. I guess it must be the same thing." Sirius didn't quite buy it though. Looking back he remembered Severus doing the same thing quite often in Hogwarts. And he had seen his arms when he had hurt his hands. He chose not to comment on it at the time. It wasn't the right moment to have that talk.
"Severus, I'm worried about you." He says, placing his hands pointedly on his forearms. "It's in the past Sirius. There's an unfortunate family history of being prone to melancholy. Something which I had a few bouts of, but I've learned better ways of handling it." Severus explains, prompting Sirius to hug him. "You should have had someone you could talk to. Like you were for Canan. And I'm sorry for any part in that I may have played in that." He says to a very startled Severus. None the less he puts his head on the other's shoulder and hugs him back, allowing himself to feel warmed by it. It causes a stirring sensation in his chest to be held like that, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant. "Do you mind if I ask a few questions? I want to understand you better." Sirius asks, the close proximity making the words spoken into Severus' ear tickle with his breath. Severus shakes his head, making no move to remove himself from the embrace. "Go ahead. I just want to ask a few of my own when your done." Severus replied.
Sirius nods his head, levitating the teapot off the stove since it had begun to whistle and having it pour it's self into two cups. Perhaps they would feel like tea later, but for now, he was enjoying having his arms full of Severus. He thinks of how to word his first question as he puts his wand away and returns it to wrap around Severus. But the only way he could think to ask just slips out. "How?" Severus doesn't hesitate when he answers, "During the school year it was a burning hex or a potions burner. During the summer I just used my father's lighter or the stove. If I could sneak a cigarette I would put it out on my arm." He felt Sirius' arms wrap around him even tighter. "How long has it been?" He asks, his tone of voice carrying sadness and a touch of guilt. "Since the day I found out I was pregnant. It's my fault Canan had the same problems." He says sadly, then explains, "A baby's nervous system is prone to follow the state of the nervous system of the parent who carried them. When I was pregnant I was fighting that addiction. Which made him more prone to do the same." Severus was sniffling and tearing up with that admission.
"Severus, it isn't your fault. Yes neurobiology plays a role, but it's not the only factor." Sirius explains. "Do you remember a couple days ago when Canan and Harry played that prank and you got hurt? Do you remember what you said to him when he blamed himself?" Severus shakes his head. He didn't understand what he was getting at. Sirius decides to give Severus a bit of his own advice. "It wasn't your fault. You didn't foresee what was going to happen. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen. You can't blame yourself for that. Severus, your not the one who hurt your son. Your the one who saved him. He's grown under your care even since I first met him. He's so much more confident. He's happy. He's one of the top students in his class. It's you who gave him the support he needed for all that." Sirius assured him, kissing the top of his head, bringing a blush to Severus' cheeks.
"Thank you for the reality check." Severus says after a long pause, holding onto Sirius's robes. "I needed that. The past couple day's have been really trying. But can I ask you a question now?" Severus asks. "You have every right to." Sirius responds, putting his chin on top of Severus' head. "Why do you care so much? This is kind of hard to talk about and a bit awkward of a subject to approach, but you did it anyway. Why is that?" He asks, able to hear Sirius' heart beat from where his head was resting. When he asked his question, he couldn't help but notice his heart beat faster.
"Severus, you've come to mean a lot to me. Both you and Canan. You've become family. Canan and Harry are brothers, and that's brought us closer. But it's beyond just empathizing because of how similar their situations are or the fact that their brothers. It's because of the boys I was able to get to know the real you. The one who loves to cook, who worries like a mother bear, who hates mornings, discreetly has a sweet tooth, loves books almost as much as potions, and tracks and checks your house's homework. The you who plays piano and actually enjoys growing his potions ingredients. The patient, loving parent. The compassion to look past your animosity to help a child. Shit. Severus, I care because you mean so much to me and I was worried." Sirius places his hands on Severus' forearms. "And I just wanted to make sure you're okay. And if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be here for you. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'll always be there to listen."
Severus pulls his knees up to his chest and relaxes against Sirius, who wraps his arms back around him, just holding him for a minuet. "Sirius?" He asks after a minuet. "Why did you kiss me earlier?" Severus had to know. Was Sirius kissing him because he felt the same, or was it a purely platonic kiss? Severus had to know. He waits with baited breath as Sirius turns him so their facing each other. Then, before Severus could get another word out, Sirius's lips press against his own. His eyes widen in response, and the kiss was short and chaste, but it conveyed exactly what he needed to.
When Sirius pulls away he tucks a strand of Severus' hair behind his ear and puts his hand on his flushed cheek. "I care for you deeply Severus. And I don't want to see you have to be strong on your own any more. You've been that way for too long." If at all possible, Severus feels the heat in his cheeks grow more intense and leans his forehead against the other man's. "I feel the same." Was all he was able to get out, the butterflies in his stomach rendering his ability to speak inelegant and blunt. Sirius smiles and presses a soft kiss to his cheek. "I'm glad because your going to be seeing a lot more of me. Minerva was made the headmistress and I'm taking over transfigurations and as head of Griffindor. But even if we'll be seeing a lot more of each other, I'll let you set the pace." He says. Severus blushes at that, but couldn't help be grateful. He wasn't very experienced with relationships, and the only one he had ever been in was nothing short of abusive.
Rather than taking it further and snogging Severus senseless, Sirius just held him close for a while. That's how they were when Remus and Canan returned. Severus made a move to jump up and act like nothing had happened, but Canan rolls his eyes and says. "It's about time." Then he turns to Remus. "I think my brother and I knew it before they did. Both of them are so stubborn sometimes." He says, corners of his lips pulled into a smile and trying not to laugh. Everyone else chuckles and Severus remains in Sirius's arms. He didn't want to leave them because he was so warm. That's why Severus had Canan floo call Lucius to bring Harry to the school.
Today had started out with a terrifying situation. But because of it, he and Sirius finally admitted their feelings to each other. Albus had been arrested and was awaiting trial. Sirius had a job that would bring both him and Harry closer. So as terrible as this morning had been, Severus was happy with the outcome. Things were finally starting to change for the better.
Squirrel note: Finally. Made. Them. Happen! Albus' trial is next. And finding out how much chocolate Remus eats. Leave a review to help motivate my lazy ass.