"Ah!" Haley rushes over to me with a bright smile, a little glaze forming in her eyes. "This is so much fun! Why haven't I done this before?"
"Because you prefer books more than people," I joke, sipping on my drink and giving her a smirk. "But I told you, parties can be fun, Tutor Girl," I grip her arm and she laughs, but rolls her eyes at me.
"They can be," her eyes scan around the room, catching onto a pair of blue ones that do a lap over her causing her to blush. Tugging slightly on the dress I picked out for her, Haley drops her head a little as Nathan burns his gaze into her.
I swear those two baffle the hell out of me. There is something there that I want to know. Call me nosey if you want, but it's one of the most curious things I've ever taken notice too.
"Why don't you go ask Natey Boy to dance?" I bump my hip into hers causing her eyes to widen and head to snap over to me. Almost like she is shocked I said it, shocked that I noticed them staring. Not like it's not obvious.
"Uh, why-why would I do that?" she spins on her feet to put her back to him and fiddles with her fingers.
"Because you want too," I tell her like that is so obvious. "And when you want to do something, you do it. Throw caution to the wind and just…" I pause thinking of that advice and release a small laugh. "Do it," I finish and shake my head. "Just do it."
"And if he says no and I look like a complete idiot?" she chews her lower lip and that is an amazing question. I mean, no one wants to put themselves out there and get screwed over. No one wants to walk into a situation where they might get their heart shattered. Getting your heart broke is the worst feeling in the world, I don't think there is pain quiet like it.
"But then you would know," I say and a feeling bubbles in my stomach. "And it's just better to know instead of always wondering what if."
"But in front of everyone, Brooke? He could turn me down in front of everyone."
"Hey," I place my hands on her shoulders, seeing how nervous she is. I wish she would be more confident, I wish she knew how amazing and gorgeous she was. "Trust me, Hales he won't turn you down. Just walk up, ask and if by some ridiculous reason his head is too far up his ass and he does say no you shrug it off like it was not a bid deal at all and then I'll come up and kick him in the balls."
"Promise?" a small laugh releases from her and I give a wink that makes her grin. "Ok," she inhales deep, grabbing my cup and shooting the whole thing back. "Wish me luck."
"You don't need it," I promise and with a final nod, she spins on her heels, wobbles a fraction and heads over to Nathan with her head high. He locks eyes with her about halfway across the room, and I watch as he nervously glances down a moment before back at her. Haley reaching him, she fiddles with her hands and mumbles something out. Nathan giving a slow nod, he places his cup on the bookshelf by his side and places his hand on her lower back leading her in the sea of people. "Way to throw caution to the wind Tutor Girl," I tip my cup to her when she looks over Nathan's shoulder to grin large at me. Easing back on a stool behind me I secretly wish I had as much guts as Haley James.
Curling my light jacket around my arm I stand in front of the door raising my fist for a knock. I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe it's because I drank something for a little liquid courage, maybe something sparked in me watching Nathan and Haley or maybe it's because I was over the crowd and the people and I just left, not even meaning to end up here.
Whatever it is I can't tell you. I just know I've never been so nervous in my entire life and as I stand here waiting I think I might throw up and not because I drank a beer…well nursed a beer in a very unlike Brooke Davis fashion.
Hearing the click of the lock, the turn of the knob I hold my breath as the door opens to reveal the man on the other side. Rubbing his tired eyes he stares at me in shock as he scratches the back of his neck.
"Brooke?"
"Hi…" I whisper out in a voice that doesn't sound like mine and swallow hard. "Can we talk?" I cling tighter on my jacket and watch him weigh that idea in his head. It's not a good idea, we both know that but still it doesn't stop him from stepping to his right and letting me in. The door sounding like a bomb as it shuts behind me.
Turning to face him he just stares at me. An unreadable look on his face as he just stares like it's the first time he's ever seen me and that just makes so many things bubble in my stomach I'm not read for.
"Brooke…" he takes a step back when I move forward and I bite hard on my lip. "You shouldn't be here…"
"I know…"
"Then…then why are you?" he sounds exasperated and I offer a small shrug. "I can't do this right now," he holds his hands up at me and starts to move past me. "It's two in the morning Brooke and…and you are my student," mentally my eyes roll at that. His favorite line. "And this…this is not a good idea."
"Why?" I move after him, finding him gripping the counter as his head drops. "Nathan and his friends come over all the time. Why is this any different?"
"You know why," he growls and though his back is to me I offer a slow nod and glance around the kitchen at just how…man like it is. I swear he needs some form of color in here. Silence falling over us I take the moment to study just everything about his place. It's nice, but everything is so…on point. Not one thing is out of place, not one dish towel is unfolded or empty can sitting out and I release a laugh at how different we really are.
The laugh makes him turn to face me and for a split second his eyes run over me and he swallows hard and for a split second I debate putting my jacket on. The young student he calls me right in his face in my tight top and short skirt that I put on at the beginning of the night because I knew it'd make the high school boys' mouths drop. Yet in front of Lucas I almost wish I had on jeans or some ole boring band t-shirt Peyton always sported.
"I was at a party," I mumble out and he gives a slow nod. "And I just…I was surrounded by all these people and all I thought was how much I didn't want to be there," I explain. "I just suddenly wished I was at home watching some really bad movie with you and Tony or at dinners at Karen's," my hand flips out and I look away nervously chewing my lip and shrugging. "And I realized I wanted to be in one of those places and not there because…because you are in those places."
"Brooke…" his voice almost begs me to stop and I want too. I want to stop talking but I can't help it. I can't stop until I say everything I say and if he throws me out he throws me out but least then I would know.
"And I'm going crazy," I release a dry laugh and shake my head. "Completely insane, because I stood there tonight telling Haley to go for whatever the hell she wanted knowing I don't listen at all to my own advice and that's not me!" my tone goes up with my hands. "I always listen to my advice, because I usually have great advice."
"And that advice told you to come here? Because my advice keeps telling me to not do this," he fights and my head drops closing my eyes. "I don't want to hurt you, Brooke," he whispers out and I can't help but release a dry laugh at that. Oh the irony in that statement. "I, god Brooke, I didn't mean for this to happen."
"And what? I did?" I turn to face him and roll my eyes. "You think I wanted this? You think I planned this?" my temper starts to rise and his eyes close. "This isn't some game to me, Lucas. This isn't some attention pulling, get daddy to notice me, game!" I feel my voice crack and I inhale a deep breath. "I care about you," I give a light shrug and I swear he cringes as he hears me say that. "I didn't mean too. I don't want too and if I could somehow magically turn these feelings off I would, but I can't," I try to swallow my tears, but I know it's no hope as I feel it trickle down my cheek. "And I don't know what to do," I tell him and he rises up moving toward the window.
I don't know what he is thinking. I don't know what he is feeling. I just know the more I'm around him these feelings build in my chest and I feel like I can't breathe. It honestly scares me.
"Just tell me what I'm supposed to do," I move toward him and feel his body tense as my arms grip the back of his shirt and my head drops to his back.
"What did I do?" I hear him question himself and I feel the hot tear slip across my lower lip as I stand clinging onto him. "Damn it, Brooke," he spins around and my head just drops to his chest as I release a small cry. "Fuck…" he curses as his hands trail to my cheeks and lifts my face to look at him. "Don't cry," his head leans against mine as his thumbs brush the tears away. "I can't handle you upset."
"Then stop making me," I whisper out and let my eyes stay on his lips as I try to calm myself. "Why did you grab Felix like that?" I wonder after a moment passes of us just standing there breathing. "Why?" I push as I let my eyes lift to see his.
"I just…" he pauses and pulls his head back a fraction, but not enough to eliminate the dangerous proximate of our lips. God, I want to kiss him again. It's all I've thought about for weeks. "I heard him talking about you before, heard ya'll in class…then I saw him touch you and I just…"
"Got jealous?" I finish for him and he lets out a bitter laugh pushing me away from him.
"How messed up does that sound?! God, damn it," he again spins away from me and runs his hands through his hair.
"Luke…"
"I could have lost my job, Brooke," he says like I don't know that. "Hell, I still could if Felix changes his mind on saying something to someone. I grabbed a student, I shoved a student against a wall because he was talking to another student in class! Because I, their teacher, got jealous because he talked to you? Do you not hear how that sounds?"
"Probably about as messed up as it sounds that a student," I make sure to stress that word since he is having a field day with it, "sits in class every day wanting her teacher," my jaw locks and his mouth snaps shut as a fire rips through his eyes. "That a student," that damn word again, "sits there wanting, begging he leans over and kisses her again. And when he doesn't, truly gets disappointed. Then again has their skin crawl when they see him talking to another teacher at lunch because she too got jealous," I move toward him and slide my hands up to rest on his chest. Feeling his heart race under my palms. "I want you Luke, god, I've never in my life wanted anyone the way I want you."
"Please," he slowly reaches to grip his hands around mine and drops his head. "Please don't say things like that to me."
"Why?" I let out a bitter laugh and feel my eyes slant into a glare. "Because it's morally wrong?"
"No, because it's hard for me to not do something about it."
"Then why don't you?" I question, knowing my voice has just a little extra rasp and watch as it affects him.
"Because I'm your teacher, Brooke."
"God, stop saying that!" I jerk my hands away from him and groan. "What does that mean? What am I supposed to do with that?"
"It means, that what happened was a mistake, Brooke," he speaks and I feel the pain rip through me. "I'm your teacher. I have ethics, I have morals."
"Yeah because when you had me pinned against the wall I really saw them," I hiss and spin my back to him as my arms cross.
"You want me to tell you I wanted to kiss you, Brooke? Fine, I did," I hear his hands slap to his sides and my eyes close. "I wanted to so bad. I thought if I didn't do it soon I was going to explode. And when it was done I wanted more," I hear him move toward me, my body starts to tremble as I slowly turn to face him. "I think of it over and over and want nothing more to do it again and again and it makes me sick inside that I sit in class thinking of you. That at cheer I feel my body burn while watching you. I listen to tools talk about you and the things they wish to do to you and I can't say a damn thing because it's not something I haven't thought myself," his hand slams into his chest and I swallow hard. "I have all these feelings building up inside of me and it makes me go crazy and hate myself that I actually sit around and debate caving and giving into you. My job and reputation be damned."
"Luke…"
"Is that what you want to hear? Is that what you want me to tell you? Tell me Brooke, is that a man worth caring about?"
"Luke…" I curl my fingers and reach up to gently touch his cheek and feel his whole body shaking. I know this is hard for him, he is the one who would be ruined if it got out. Hell, this town already thinks the worst of me. But Lucas? His life is here, his job, his family, all of it is here. "I'd never want to screw up your life. I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to turn these feelings for you off, because they are real, god Luke, they are so real," I bring my other hand to cup his cheek as I push up on my feet and his arms come to wrap around my waist.
"I can't turn mine off either," his breath washes over me and I bring his head to rest against mine.
"Well damn it," I laugh a little and he cracks a half smile.
"Damn it…" he repeats and I watch. I see it coming but I still don't have time to utter a word before I feel those soft lips I've been dreaming about press back against mine again. Sliding my fingers to curl into his hair, I grip onto those short locks and press my body up against his as his free hand runs down to cup my backside making me moan into his mouth.
"Lucas," a moan releases in my throat as he starts to trail a line of kisses across my jaw and down my neck. His hand leaving my cheek to trail and come around to meet his other, with ease lifting me up in his arms I release a small gasp as my legs hook around his waist. Carrying me through the dark house and I feel my heart pound in my chest as he gently lays me across his bed. The tip of his tongue drifting down my neck and I swallow hard as he pushes up my shirt and begins to press sweet kisses across my chest. Nipping and sucking and causing me to moan as I feel his hips roll forward and I feel his want press against my center making me hiss out.
Running my hands down his body, I feel the muscles outlined under his shirt as I yank it up and pull it over his head to reveal his gorgeous body hidden underneath. Rolling us over in his bed, I straddle his waist as I remove my shirt and throw it to the side. Locking eyes on his as I lean forward and press an open kiss to his chest, trailing downward and undo the tie on his pants as he cupped my cheek and tugged me up to look at him.
"What?" I ask nervously as my breath races in and out of me.
"Brooke," his eyes search mine and I bite hard on my lip as my heart races and hand starts to tremble. He truly didn't let us get half naked on the bed for him to suddenly change his mind…again. "We have to be smart about this," he whispers and I feel the weight lift. Thank god. "God, so smart, Pretty Girl."
"I know," I slowly nod and press a sweet kiss to his lips with a smile. "I won't screw things up for you. I promise."
"That's not what I'm worried about," he says and my brows crease. "I can handle myself. I don't want you getting hurt," his hand trails to stroke my tattoo and I follow his gaze as he stares at it.
"I'll be ok," I pull his hand away and press a kiss to his chin. "I promise…"
"This will change everything," he tells me as if I don't know and again I slowly nod. "Once we do this…there is no going back."
"Do you not want too?" I hold my shirt to my chest embarrassed.
"Clearly there isn't anything I want more," his hips shift and I actually blush when I feel him graze me, along with a small moan on my part. "I just…" he sits up brushing my hair back to look at me. "I just want to know you're sure. I want to protect you from everything."
"I'm sure Luke," I lean my head forward to rest against his. "I haven't wanted something like I want this in so long."
"Ok," he breathes out with a light trace of a smile.
"Ok," I return it before pressing my mouth back into his. Both knowing in this moment he was right, after tonight nothing was going to be the same again.