Chapter 14

"Assure me that it's okay to use my heart and not my eyes to navigate the darkness…"

-Hoobastank, "Crawling In the Dark"

Edward's POV

She was impossibly tempting.

She had been studying for nearly an hour now, and I was supposed to be doing the same, but I found it difficult to pull my eyes away from her. At present, she was lying across my bed on her stomach, while I sat on the sofa, entirely too far away. I watched as she exhibited what I could only assume were her normal study habits: sucking on her highlighter, kicking her bare feet in the air, scowling adorably at something she'd read, and generally being completely and blissfully unaware of how appealing she is.

Oh, hell - this was going to be a long damned night if I was going to keep up this train of thought.

I'd already been secretly considering going with her and my sister to the club. It was torture thinking of Bella in that outfit and imagining what the men there were going to say or try to do to her. I looked down at my right hand, and realized I'd been gripping the highlighter so hard, I'd snapped it in half. I stared at it in disbelief, barely comprehending what I was looking at.

Crap. Maybe I'm a little more of a caveman than I'd thought. And following the girls was sounding more and more appealing. I didn't want Bella to think I didn't trust her, because that was the furthest thing from my mind. No, it was other people I didn't trust – any warm-blooded male who got near her was not going to be able to keep her out of his lecherous thoughts.

"Edward?" Her voice startled me, and I jumped just a little bit.

"Huh?" And obviously I'm not as witty as I'd like when I'm in the middle of picturing men drooling over my girlfriend.

"Are you all right?" Concern was etched all over her face, and she'd stop kicking her feet.

"Yes, why?" Oh, I'm all right, Bella. I'm just over here plotting the castration of every male in the city.

"You just looked… intense," she explained, studying my face carefully. I forced a smile.

"I'm fine," I lied, the words leaving a bitter flavor on my tongue. "I was just thinking about something." She opened her mouth, hesitated, and then took a deep breath before speaking.

"You know, if you've changed your mind about me staying with you tonight, I'm not going to be upset."

"Don't be ridiculous," I said, my words coming out in such a rush that I wasn't sure she'd understood them. "Of course I want you to stay here! I have something special planned for when you get back." Her eyes lit up.

"The hot tub?" she offered. I shook my head, and when she looked disappointed, my jeans suddenly felt uncomfortably tight.

"No – well, I mean, of course I wanted to swim, too, but that is not the surprise." I couldn't wait until she got back, and I prayed that Alice would keep her sober for me. If I didn't wind up going, that was.

"Give me a hint?" She begged, dropping her highlighter on the bed and rising to her knees.

"No."

"Please?" Dear God, I was not going to let her leave my room at all if she kept pouting at me like that, Alice be damned!

"No!" I laughed at her look of disappointment.

"But I hate surprises."

"You won't hate this one. At least, I hope not. I will be very hurt if you do." She tilted her head to the side a little as she looked at me. A smile ghosted across her lips.

"All right. I'll trust you just this once." We were both startled by a knock at the door. I closed my book (I had been reading the same sentence the whole time we'd been "studying"), and dropped the broken highlighter in the trashcan on my way to the door. I flung it open only to be faced with a very impatient Alice.

"I didn't know you were coming straight over here," Alice huffed, pushing past me.

"Won't you come in?" I muttered, closing the door. She shot me a glare, which I ignored, and then turned her attention back to Bella.

"I hope you at least thought enough to bring your outfit to change into," Alice told Bella, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot impatiently. I frowned at her.

"She's got everything she needs, you demanding little harpy," I informed her. She arched an eyebrow at me, but said nothing.

"Don't worry, I have everything," Bella reassured her, rising from my bed and stretching. I watched, mesmerized. Bella glanced over at the clock on my bedside table. "Isn't it a little early, though? I haven't eaten lunch yet, and Edward and I-"

"It's almost four o'clock," Alice protested, her features twisted with disbelief. "You two have had plenty of time to eat lunch. If you were too busy making out, that's not my problem!" I wanted to kiss away the blush that crept up Bella's neck.

"We weren't making out," she said defensively. "We were studying."

"Uh huh," Alice said, not convinced at all. I sighed.

"It would be difficult to make out with Bella when she's sitting on my bed, and I'm over here on the sofa," I said, gesturing to my sofa with my hand. I didn't miss the way Bella's eyes lingered on my fingers, and I hid my smirk from her.

"Whatever. Okay, grab your clothes, and we'll go get ready. Angela will be here any minute!"

"What about food?" Bella questioned as she went through the bag she'd packed. Alice frowned.

"Why do you have such a big bag? Do you not remember what-"

"After you're finished dragging me around, I'm coming back here to stay the night." Alice's eyebrows nearly disappeared into her hairline as she turned to me for confirmation.

"I thought it would be best, considering she's probably going to be exhausted." Alice gave me a thoughtful (though admittedly shrewd) look.

"You're not going to pull anything crazy, like following us to the club, are you?"

"Wouldn't dream of it," I lied. She frowned and opened her mouth, but thankfully Bella interrupted her.

"Alice? You didn't answer my question. Food?"

"Yes, yes, I'm going to feed you," Alice said dismissively, waving her hand. "Now come on!"

"Do you need any help?" I asked, eyeing the armful of clothes Bella was carrying. She sighed, but before she could answer, Alice chimed in.

"Nope. You stay here, Edward. This is a girls' night, and I want it to stay that way. I have a feeling that if I don't separate the two of you now, I'll never get Bella out of here."

I laughed when I saw Bella's fervent nodding behind Alice's back.

"Bye, baby brother." Alice led Bella towards the door.

"Baby brother?" Bella asked, laughter in her voice as she followed Alice out the door.

"By less than a minute!" I yelled after them, rolling my eyes at Alice's pealing laughter as they descended the stairs. This was going to be a long night. I just hoped I would make it through unscathed until Bella returned and was safe within the circle of my arms.

Bella's POV

"Aren't you finished yet?" I begged Alice. I had been playing the role of Barbie Bella for the past two and a half hours, and I was so over it.

"You shush; this is no more than what you deserve for withholding information from me," Alice quipped, applying more eyeliner, or eye shadow, or whatever the hell she was putting on me at the moment.

"Oh, come on, Alice," Angela said gently. "She probably just thought you already knew. After all, you do have this really strong intuition about things."

"I was preoccupied," Alice protested. I cracked an eye open to peek at her, and immediately noticed her red cheeks.

"With what?" I asked, opening both eyes as she dug through her makeup case for something.

"Um… just school stuff," she said, shaking her head. I glanced at Angela, who met my eyes. Yeah, neither one of us was buying it.

"What could possibly be so distracting?" Angela questioned, arching an eyebrow.

"A boy," I blurted. They both looked at me – Angela with laughter in her expression, and Alice with mixed interest and embarrassment.

"I don't know that he actually qualifies as a boy," Alice protested weakly. Angela giggled, and I raised my eyebrows at her.

"The guy from the mall food court?"

"The guy has a name," Alice said defensively.

"Well?" Angela asked. "What is his name, then?" Alice's expression softened, and she swept the makeup brush across my cheek.

"Jasper." I swear she sighed when she said it. Angela's smile widened, and I nodded appreciatively. "His name is Jasper Whitlock."

"Does he go to school in this area?" Angela wondered aloud, checking her reflection in the floor-length mirror.

"No, he doesn't go to school. He lives with his twin sister, and he works two jobs. He's trying to save up for school, though," she added quickly.

"Have you already met his sister?" I asked, trying not to sneeze as the makeup brush tickled the end of my nose. She nodded.

"She's beautiful."

"And?"

"I think she likes me, but she'll take a bit of getting used to." Angela and I exchanged glances.

"Does that mean that you and Jasper are getting serious?" Alice's cheeks turned pink, and Angela's jaw dropped. "You mean you've already-"

"You know my position on sex," Alice defended. "If you feel strongly enough about someone, I think it's okay."

"I feel the same way," I reassured her. She gave me a soft smile.

"You know I do, too," Angela chimed in. "I just didn't realize you felt like that about him. You haven't really talked about him very much."

"It's sort of private," Alice explained, dabbing something on my lips. "I feel very selfish, keeping him to myself all the time, but you guys will meet him when the time is right."

"Is that how you feel about Edward?" Angela asked me curiously. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, but I nodded.

"I like having time alone with him, because then I don't have to share his attention."

"Oh," Angela breathed. She looked deflated. "I hope I find someone soon, like the two of you have."

"What about that Ben guy?" I prodded. Alice's eyebrows shot up.

"Ben? Who's Ben?"

"Some guy she met at a frat party," I supplied. "And supposedly he's the best kisser in the entire world."

"Seriously? And you didn't mention him before now why?"

Angela was beet red. "Because I've only seen him that one time, and he hasn't called me back since then."

"Be aggressive," Alice chirped. "Call him. Don't wait for him to call you, boys don't think the same way we do."

"I didn't call Edward," I said, frowning. Alice laughed and picked up the jeans and shirt I was supposed to wear out tonight, shoving them towards me.

"Edward is the exception to the rule, Bella. I know my brother, and when he makes up his mind that he wants something, he stops at nothing to get it. He made up his mind pretty quickly that he wanted you."

I felt my entire body flush, and shed the clothes I'd been wearing. I pulled the club outfit on quickly, and frowned at Alice. "But he hasn't made up his mind. I've been doing everything I can to try and get him in bed, and he's resisted me at every turn."

"Just because he hasn't had sex with you yet doesn't mean he doesn't want to," she said reasonably, inspecting my clothes as Angela began working on my hair. "He is very old-fashioned, and he wants to do things the right way, I'm sure. Whatever he thinks the right way may be."

"I don't know how much more I can take," I confessed, surprising myself that I was even discussing this so openly with someone. "I am constantly on edge. I get hot flashes when he touches me. I want to molest him every time I even think about him, let alone when I get in front of him."

Angela smiled, and Alice nodded. "Trust me, I know how it feels. Not about my brother, ew," she amended, pretending to gag. Angela giggled, and I smiled weakly. "But I know what you mean. It'll be so worth it when it happens, Bella. You have to trust that."

"I do, but…" I frowned, and my heart pounded in my chest. "What if he doesn't want me anymore after that first time?"

"Are you really worried about that?" Angela asked, concern etched on her face as she peered at me in the mirror.

"Yeah," I admitted. I squeezed my hands together to stop them from shaking. "I want him so much, and it feels like I'll never stop wanting him. What happens if we have sex and then he doesn't want me anymore? He might be satisfied with-"

"Bella," Alice interrupted, her face deadly serious. "My brother has always been my closest friend. We know each other as well as any brother and sister ever could - and I am telling you, I have never seen him react to a woman the way he's reacted to you. You have nothing to worry about."

"I'd be more worried about the opposite," Angela quipped, giving my hair a once-over with some kind of hairspray.

"What do you mean?" I coughed, waving away the hairspray.

"I'd be worried about having sex, and it being so good that you want it all the time."

"You think she's going to turn into a nympho?" Alice asked, laughing.

"You laugh, but then she'll be over here all the time. They may never leave his bed." I laughed nervously, but I had to admit the thought was appealing. To have that kind of intimacy with Edward, and to know that he enjoyed it so much that he could never get enough of it? No, if that happened, I was pretty sure I'd be okay with it.

"Geez," Alice scoffed. "She's gone all dreamy-eyed. Let's get her mind off of my brother, or she might decide to stay with him."

EPOV

I looked behind me, certain I'd worn a hole in the carpet from my pacing. I had been pacing for - I glanced at the watch on my wrist - thirty two minutes now. I had been warring with myself over whether or not to send her a text message asking how she was doing. As of yet, I had decided not to send one, but I was in agony, thinking of all of those lascivious men ogling my Bella. I desperately needed something else to do.

BPOV

The club wasn't as bad as I'd thought it was going to be. It didn't reek, even though it was so dark that it took my eyes a while to adjust. As soon as we walked in, Alice disappeared, leaving Angela and I to fend for ourselves. I was glad that I hadn't brought any kind of jacket or purse, because I would definitely not have wanted to sit it down anywhere. We had barely taken two steps into the club before Alice reappeared holding drinks. I shot a look at Angela, who didn't look back at me, and took the proffered drink with a word of thanks. I took the cup and sniffed gingerly at it.

"It's non alcoholic," Alice informed me, rolling her eyes. "I guess my brother already told you about his experience here?"

"Um," I said, clearing my throat. "Not really, he just said he thought I'd be drunk when I came back, and I kind of want to be clear-headed tonight." Her eyes narrowed slightly and she pursed her lips together, but otherwise said nothing else about it.

"What are we waiting for?" Angela asked, tossing her already empty cup into the nearest trash can (which was already overflowing). "Let's dance!"

EPOV

I couldn't take it any longer. I pulled out my phone and looked at it. 8:49, and still no messages from Bella. Either she was having such a good time that she wasn't even thinking about me, or Alice had somehow prevented her from using her phone. Either way, it bothered me. I opened my phone and shot off a quick message.

BPOV

I was sitting at a booth in the corner of the room when my pocket started vibrating. It made me jump a little bit, but when I pulled it out, I smiled.

I miss you. Can't wait to see you tonight.

I glanced up to make sure that Alice wasn't looking. She and Angela were currently dancing with some random guy.

I miss you too. Wish you would've come with us.

I sighed and took a sip of the Cherry Coke I'd ordered. I'd been nursing it for about twenty minutes now, using my thirst and the heat in the room as an excuse to sit down and rest. My phone went off again, and I could feel the grin split my face in half.

Are you having fun with my evil pixie of a sister?

Actually I am in a corner, hiding from her and Ang. don't like dancing.

Have you danced at all?

Only when Alice makes me.

So how many guys am I going to be forced to kill?

I laughed. Caveman Edward was adorable. Only one has been brave enough to ask me to dance, I promise.

That's bad enough.

"Excuse me!" I jumped, startled by the voice. I looked up, and was actually relieved to see Jacob grinning down at me.

"Hey," I said, shoving my phone back into my pocket.

"What's the prettiest girl in the room doing sitting in a corner?" He wondered aloud, shaking his head. I shrugged and gave him a weak smile.

"I don't know how you could say I'm the prettiest girl here - especially not with Alice in the room," I said, nodding my head towards her. He turned and glanced around, then turned back to me.

"Boyfriend here?" I shook my head no, and he seemed to relax a little bit. "Care to dance?"

"Oh, I don't - I mean, I'm not coordinated enough for dancing. Bella plus dance floor equals tragedy."

"Sure," he said, reaching for my hand and yanking me up. I tried to protest, but he wasn't having it, and I hated to admit it, but I felt sort of relieved, not being alone anymore. I'd stretched the truth a little bit when I'd told Edward that only one person had hit on me… at least ten guys had asked me if I'd dance with them or if they could buy me a drink. Alice had shooed away the first few of them, and Angela had giggled and dealt with one or two more, but the truth was that I was tired of the club already. If Jacob hadn't been the one to make me dance, Alice or Angela would have, so it was better to dance with someone I was at least familiar with.

I frowned when he wrapped his arms around my waist, but he just grinned at me. "I have a boyfriend, Jacob."

"We're only dancing, Bells," he answered, rolling his eyes. "It's not like we're making out or anything."

"I know, but it doesn't feel right," I protested, my stomach fluttering nervously. I remembered all too well what a disaster our date had been, and that I had promised him I'd go out with him one more time to make up for it. Hopefully now that he knew about Edward, he'd let it go, and wouldn't hold me to my word.

"I'm not going to paw you," he sighed. "Unless you want me to."

"Excuse me?" I asked indignantly. He laughed.

"Well, a guy can always hope."

"I think this dance is over." I tried to extricate myself from his arms, but he held tight.

"Bella, I was kidding. Can't you take a joke now? Is that guy so serious that you're not allowed to laugh anymore?"

"You do not know anything about Edward," I said stiffly. "So don't presume to pass judgement on him."

"Edward," he spat, the sparkle gone from his eyes, "Doesn't deserve you."

"And you think you do?"

"I never said I did. You're too good for both of us." I stared at him as we swayed to the music. "For any man, really."

"Jacob, if this is you trying to sweet talk me -" I gulped. "You barely know me."

"I know enough to know that I like you." I opened my mouth to reply, but the response died on my lips. The look on his face was … intense, to say the least. He really was beautiful, with his olive skin and dark hair. For a brief moment, I wished that things could be different, and that I could return his feelings for me. Then I thought of emerald colored eyes and an unruly mop of bronze hair, and long, pale fingers, and the moment was gone.

"I have to go now, Jake." I pulled myself away from him, and this time he didn't stop me. I wondered if he had seen my resolve waver for that brief moment, and it worried me. If he had, he might never give up pursuing me - if he had even the tiniest shred of hope to cling to, he would. He was much like me in that way. He looked sad as I forced myself to smile at him. "Thanks for the dance." I turned and forced my way through the crowd, looking for Alice and Angela. Angela was dancing with a tall redheaded guy, but Alice was nowhere to be found.

"Hey, Ang?" I tapped her shoulder, and she jumped slightly. Her partner shot me a dirty look. "Where's Alice?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just ready to go."

"I don't know. I'll help you look for her." She started to move away from the guy she'd been dancing with, but I held up my hand.

"That's okay," I assured her. "You guys have fun, I'm going to call it a night."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I'll call a cab."

"Be safe," she said, still looking concerned.

"I always am." I walked through the club and stepped out into the cool evening air, inhaling deeply. The club allowed smoking, and the air had been thick and heavy with it. I pulled my phone out and noticed that Edward had sent me another message after Jacob had approached me.

Are you still there?

I dialed his number, and he answered before it had a chance to ring once.

"Hello?"

"Edward, I hate to ask you this, but can you do me a favor?"

"Anything - is everything all right?" He sounded so worried.

"Everything's fine, I was just wondering if you could come and get me."

"Absolutely. But you're sure everything's fine?"

"I'm fine," I said, laughing.

"What time shall I-"

"How about now?" I interrupted.

"I'm in the car."

"You're so chivalrous, coming to my rescue." I giggled, and I heard him chuckle at the same time.

"No, I'm selfish, coming to take you away so I can have to all to myself - finally."

"Okay. I'm out front. I'm going to hang up now, because I know how you are when you're on the phone with me."

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

He hesitated. "I really missed you."

"I missed you, too. I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Goodbye."

"Bye."

I slid the phone back into my pocket and waited. It wasn't long before the silver Volvo pulled up to the curb in front of me, and I wondered how fast he'd been going in order to get here so soon. It should have taken him at least ten minutes to get to the club, but it had only taken him three.

I ran around to the passenger side before he could get out and open the door for me, and as soon as I'd shut the door behind me, he leaned over and gave me a slow, sweet kiss. When he pulled away, I felt myself smiling like an idiot.

"What was that for?"

"I told you, I missed you." He pulled away from the curb, and we were off. "You don't smell like alcohol," he mused aloud, arching an eyebrow. "I'm surprised."

"I'm sure I smell like smoke," I said, wrinkling my nose. "I don't drink."

"I don't drink either, but Alice still managed to get me drunk."

"Ah, but I bought my own drinks." He smiled at me. "I told Alice I wasn't going to drink before we went."

"I can't believe you were able to convince her to let you go so early."

I bit my lip and just nodded. His smile turned to a frown. "Does Alice know you left, Bella?"

"Not… not exactly. I couldn't find her," I explained. He snorted with laughter. "I told Ang to tell her that I'd left, but I couldn't find her to tell her. And I didn't want to stay there another minute." I sagged in my seat, and even though I wasn't looking at him, I could feel his eyes on me.

"Did something happen?"

"Not really. I was just tired of being there. All I was doing was sitting in the corner, anyway."

He relaxed a little, and then gave me a brilliant smile. "Hopefully your night is about to get better. I have something planned."

I felt my heart flutter wildly. "My night's already better because I'm with you."

"Hey," he protested. "I'm the man, I'm supposed to be the one feeding you mushy lines like that."

"Really? Why?" I laughed.

"So I can get lucky later," he said, waggling his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Like you couldn't have gotten lucky about a zillion times before now if you'd wanted to."

"You're making this way too easy. It takes the fun out of it."

"I'm making what too easy? Sleeping with me? So now I'm a conquest?" I laughed again.

"I'm supposed to have to work for it, and persuade you," he protested, though he was smiling too.

"All right, I'll play hard to get from now on."

"That sounds like fun. I love a challenge. I'll break you before the week is out."

"Week?" I echoed. "Break me? Oh, man, are you in trouble." We pulled into his driveway, and he turned off the car.

"Don't think I can do it?" he challenged, a wicked glint in his eyes.

"How are you going to break me if I don't let you close enough to even hold my hand?" I asked, blinking innocently at him. I saw his surprised look before I got out of the car and headed towards the stairs that lead to his apartment, swaying my hips as I walked. I heard him shut the door and begin ascending the stairs behind me.

"You're not going to even let me touch you?" he asked, sounding out of breath. I reached the small landing in front of the door and turned to look at him.

"You already know you can have me whenever you want me," I replied, keeping my voice low. My efforts were rewarded when I saw his eyes darken. "So how would it be fair to let you touch me?"

He stared at me for a minute, holding my eyes with his as he unlocked the door. "Then the game is over. I can't be around you and not touch you. That's the worst kind of torture." He reached for my hand and pulled me inside the apartment, closing the door behind us.