Chapter 14

"I don't know, Cedes. I don't know what the hell to do. It's been ten years and we had one night together! I KNOW what YOU would do, believe me," Kurt said into his phone, thankful she couldn't see his blush now that he was back on the ground in New York. Four days in L.A. had exhausted him but the sunshine was always amazing. He'd spent his days shopping and lounging around the pool with Mercedes and Sam, listening to music and talking about old times. The nights, though…well, that was a different story. They went out clubbing nearly every night, he'd have a drink or two – not too many - then fend off advances he just couldn't entertain because he had Blaine on the brain. Afterward, he'd head home with them, hot, sweaty and exhausted, then sleep half the following day away. It was a balm to his weary soul spending time with Mercedes and Sam, and just trying to forget about what had happened with Blaine on Christmas Eve, even if it was just for a day or two.

"Kurt, I'm tellin' you, that man has it bad." He could hear the smile in her voice, which was a stark contrast to the verbal whipping he'd gotten two nights ago. He'd left his phone on the table after showing her a photo of a design he'd been working on for her. When he got up to refill his glass in the kitchen, she innocently picked up the phone and went back to the photo of the dress, swiping back and forth until she came across the very personal selfie Kurt had taken of a sleeping, rumpled Blaine all but sprawled out on his chest two nights earlier. He couldn't help it. He was well aware that it could potentially be the very last time he ever saw Blaine in person, and it was a memory he'd treasure forever. He had to snap the photo of the two of them, and he had no intention, whatsoever, of anyone ever seeing it but him. But, Mercedes had seen it, and there was no taking that back. Then, all hell had broken loose.

"HOW could you not tell me about this the minute he left the room, Kurt Hummel!?" she'd bellowed. "This is not a drill, Kurt. I repeat, NOT a drill! Blaine Anderson, your ex-boyfriend and resident rocker-hottie of L.A. spent Christmas Eve in your bed for Pete's sake, and you didn't even tell me, your best friend!?"

"I didn't know quite how to bring that up, Mercedes. I mean, I wasn't exactly going to blurt it out over dinner, especially with Sam sitting right there, for goodness sake!" Kurt had defended himself. "This salmon is divine, oh and by the way, on Christmas Eve Blaine and I had the most fantastic sex I've had since we broke up ten years ago, pass the pilaf…"

Mercedes had cackled like a hyena at that and then sat Kurt down for a long, in-depth discussion about what had happened and what he planned to do about it. It was five days later, now, and Kurt was still rattled about his night with Blaine…and clueless as to what his next move should be as he talked to Mercedes on the phone. The cab had reached his building and he was glad for the distraction as he paid the driver and his favorite doorman stepped out to the curb and helped him unload his bags from the trunk of the car.

"Thank you, Dexter. Did you have a good Christmas?" Kurt asked the doorman, who was smiling widely at him.

"It was very good, Mr. Hummel. And how was your Christmas? You were heading home to see family, I believe?" Dexter commented, his grin still firmly in place.

"I was, I did…I went home to Ohio, saw my family, ran into an old friend, and then went out to L.A. to spend some time with my best girl—"

"Who is still on the line and waiting on your thoughts, I might add," Mercedes snarked.

"Mercedes, there is no reason to be rude to people, especially people who are always very kind and helpful to me, I might add," Kurt mimicked her words back at her. "Thank you so much Dexter," Kurt told him, as the man carried his bags and stepped into the elevator with him. Dexter pushed the button for the fourteenth floor and faced the door as he spoke.

"Please give Ms. Jones my best regards. And please thank her for the tickets for her show that she sent," Dexter told Kurt, smile still very firmly in place. Kurt was beginning to think the poor man's face was stuck like that. Or that he might bite right through his lip at any moment. Well, of course, he was star struck since meeting Mercedes the last time she'd visited Kurt in New York. Kurt thought he may have developed a little crush, actually.

"I'll do just that," Kurt smiled as the elevator doors opened up in front of him. "You can just leave them here by the door, and thank you again for helping me upstairs with my bags."

"You're very welcome, Mr. Hummel. And we're glad to have you home, sir. Everyone is. All of us," he said, stumbling over his words again.

"Kurt, is Dexter drunk? Because he's babbling and I swear he wasn't like that when we met in the Spring," Mercedes giggled.

"I think he has a crush on you," Kurt whispered as the man stepped back on the elevator, glancing over his shoulder at Kurt once more as he did so.

"Uh, maybe he has a crush on you…did you ever consider that possibility? Because he's being all weird. Anyway! You were saying? Are you going to try to call Blaine?" Mercedes asked as Kurt fit his key in the door and wrangled his bags inside.

"Cedes, you're assuming he wants anything to do with me. He left Christmas morning and didn't even wake me. He snuck out of the house! And what part of 'Seth' isn't getting through? He's been in a relationship with him for years, and as far as he knows, I'm still seeing Lars."

"So, just to be clear, you're totally done with and completely over Lars? No going back to that, right?"

Kurt let out a long sigh as he tossed his keys on the entry table and tried to slip his jacket off. "Can you hang on for just a second? I need to hang my coat up and I don't wanna drop my phone or hang up on you," Kurt told her.

"You're not stalling, are you? I mean, you were all chatty this week and then when the whole 'Blaine' thing came up, you clammed up on me, Kurt Hummel."

"I absolutely did not clam up on you! I told you everyth—ok, well, almost everything that happened between Blaine and me. And don't ask me what I left out because I left it out for a reason. I can only kiss and tell so much without feeling like a creep. Hang on, let me just put you on speaker."

"What are you not telling me, Kurt? You ran into him in the grocery store on Christmas Eve. He caught you pilfering the last pint of Cherry Garcia. You guys drank Burt's beer in Cooper's car in the parking lot, then you went to get some Chinese food. When they kicked you out, you went home to your Dad and Carole's place and, after you tried to escape before you caused him to do something you knew he'd feel guilty for, you ended up in bed together. And, in your own words, it was the best sex you'd had since the two of you broke up ten years ago. Now, what aren't you telling me?"

Kurt bypassed the kitchen, dragged his bags down the hallway and into his bedroom, and then unzipped his garment bag and began to hang things up. He tossed his phone on the bed and kept talking.

"Cedes…" Kurt sighed. "I'm scared. I really, really am."

"You're scared of Blaine!? Are you insane, Kurt? Blaine would never hurt you…again. He felt horrible last time and you know it. We all told you how he fell apart and had to be put back together. Thank goodness for his music or I truly think he would have gone over the edge after what happened between the two of you."

"I never would have forgiven myself," Kurt whispered, squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

"Because you still cared for him then…as you do now. Don't you?"

"So much," Kurt answered, shaking his head slowly from side to side. "But I won't ruin what he has for my own selfish gain. I can't do that to him. Even if he said…what he said."

"Oh, and please, do tell, what did he say, Kurt!?"

"Oh, you know, your standard rip-your-heart-out stuff. He said I was always on his mind and in his heart and always would be. He said he'd always love me…" Kurt broke off, feeling as if he would choke at any moment, willing the sob to stay where it was and not escape into the phone.

"Oh, Kurt…you have to try to get in touch with him. You can't let this…this thing, fester between you. You need to at least talk to him, feel it out and see where it's going."

"I know, and I think you're right. Write that down, I won't be saying it again anytime soon," Kurt joked, heading back into his living room. He'd put up a small Christmas tree this year, just not feeling a larger tree since it was only him now. Smiling, he switched on the little twinkling lights on the tree. Maybe he'd get a dog? No, not a dog. He wouldn't have anywhere to take it out to relieve itself. A cat, perhaps?

"Kurt…do you still love Blaine?

Kurt examined the tiny decorations on his tiny tree and grinned. He hadn't gone all out for a big Christmas tree this year because he knew he wouldn't be in town to enjoy it much. So, his little two-foot tall tree sat on a table in the window, it's tiny lights flickering in the darkness as he examined the 'ornaments' he'd carefully and painstakingly put on the little branches. Maybe someday he'll see them? Placed on every other tiny branch was one of the rings that Blaine had once made him out of candy and gum wrappers, each one of them showing off its colorful or shiny pattern. They were the only ornaments he allowed to adorn said shrubbery after finding them in his "Blaine box" after Lars left and Kurt went through the box on his own. With a smile, he answered Mercedes.

"I've always loved Blaine, Mercedes, and I always will. It doesn't matter, though, because he has Seth and I won't be the reason that all falls to shit, ok?"

"You were already the reason that fell to shit, Kurt."

With a start, heart pounding, Kurt whirled around to find someone sitting in his favorite chair in the darkest corner of his living room.

"Kurt? Kurt! What's happening? Are you…who's there with you? Are you ok?" Mercedes blurted out, realizing immediately that it wasn't Kurt who's spoken.

Kurt just stared into the corner, knowing exactly who was there in his home and willed his heart to stop thumping like it was.

"Honey, I'm going to have to…" he began, hands shaking now. "Gonna call you back, ok?"

"Kurt, please tell me what's going on. Are you ok?" she asked, and the concern in her voice was nothing compared to the panic in Kurt's head. He just nodded.

"I don't think she can see you nodding, Kurt," Blaine smiled that heart-stopping smile at him as he stood and walked over to the little tree where Kurt was planted, unable to move. "I'm pretty sure he's a bit shaken up at finding me in his living room Mercedes, but I think he'll be ok. I promise to take good care of him. Oh, and I saw your show in San Francisco about six months ago and you killed it," Blaine grinned at Kurt's phone.

"Blaine Anderson…" Mercedes spoke from the phone, and the glee in her voice was unmistakable. "Well, I think the two of you have some things to discuss," she said, her voice soft and understanding now. "We'll discuss why you didn't let me know you were at the show later, mark my words, mister! You take good care of my Boo, you hear me. Kurt, call me back when you can. I love youuuuu," she sang, and then disconnected.

"You kept them, you little fibber," Blaine smiled at him, fingering the little "bows" on Kurt's tree, and Kurt felt the urge to giggle well up inside him. It was a marked improvement from the panicked gasp that wanted to tear out a few seconds earlier.

"I never said I didn't, I just thought that telling you that they were safely nestled in a tissue lined box in my closet would be a little…extreme…and might send you running," Kurt grinned shyly.

"And you put them on the tree before you ever left to go to Ohio…before we ever ran into each other in the store," Blaine said softly, shaking his head as he smiled at the little tree. "You kept them…" he said again, his smile wider now.

"Everything you've ever given me is special to me, Blaine…everything. I never parted with…our things. I couldn't. I've taken very good care of anything you trusted me with."

"That's good to know…since you've had my heart all this time," Blaine said quietly, his smile hesitant as he ran the backs of his fingers over Kurt's cheek, still pink from being out in the cold earlier.

Kurt's breathing picked up but he said nothing, obviously flustered at Blaine's appearance.

"May I?" Blaine asked, slowly edging up toward Kurt, arms out in invitation. Kurt nodded but felt his heart begin to pound again and suddenly he felt like he would cry at Blaine's embrace. Then those strong, familiar arms slid around him and tucked him in close and Kurt had never felt so safe in his life. But then the questions started flitting through his brain and fell out of his mouth at warp speed.

"What are you doing here? And how did you get in!? Oh my God, who knows you're here? Did you meet Dexter? Is that why he was grinning like a deranged fool!? I'll never hear the end of this, oh my God, Blaine!" Kurt babbled. Blaine just held him closer and chuckled at Kurt's near hysteria.

"Besides Dexter, I'm pretty sure the only person who knows I'm in your apartment is Finn. I used his key to get in and he called Dex to tell him I'd be here and sweet talk him into letting me in. Oh, and Li who works for China Dragon a few blocks over. You're painfully low on groceries, Kurt," Blaine grinned.

"Oh, now it's 'Dex', is it? And just how well do we know 'Dex', Blaine?" Kurt teased.

"Why…are you jealous?" Blaine teased him right back. "We may have had a meal or two…or five… together since I've been here. I don't know anyone else in the city, ya know. And I can't exactly go out and plop my butt down in a diner anymore. He was kind enough to bring me food and I invited him to stay and watch TV a few times," Blaine smiled. "He's kept me company, kept me sane while I waited, patiently, for you to come home."

"Uh, I could be wrong, but I'm fairly sure the vast majority of the population of New York City would be absolutely beside themselves with elation if you sat down with them for a meal anywhere, Blaine Anderson!" Kurt laughed. "Oh…you…you shaved…" Kurt breathed, just now registering the change, his fingers ghosting up and over Blaine's cheek, the stubble already coming back. Kurt didn't mind. It was sexy as hell.

"Dex said I looked like a homeless person."

"You did…" Kurt smiled, then leaned in and pressed a kiss to Blaine's lips without thinking. Even after all this time, it felt…right. Normal. "Oh…I'm sorry, I—that was very forward of me."

"Please do it again?"

They sat huddled together on the sofa, as close as they could get without sitting on one another, and they talked well into the evening.

"You said I was the reason things with Seth fell to shit. Why would you say that?" Kurt asked, eyes downcast.

"Seth…knew. He'd known all along there was someone who had my heart and I couldn't fully commit to him. I didn't see it for what it was, I was just trying so hard to make something work without you. But he knew, and he finally said he couldn't keep me in a half-hearted relationship anymore…and he left."

"Blaine…" Kurt sighed out, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I know you two were together for a long time."

"We were, and we were good…for the most part, but…when you can't give it 100%, it'll never work out, and he saw that. He was…" Blaine paused and sighed. "He was sad, I think, and he said he was 'sorry he could never be my Kurt'. For a while, that kinda broke my heart, but the more I thought about it, the more I knew he was right. I had to be away from him to see what we really were…or weren't, for that matter. He couldn't be you, and I needed you in my life again. Nobody else could fill the gaping hole you left there, Kurt. It's always been you."

"Is he…is he angry? Bitter? Should I expect mail with the letters cut out of magazines and newspapers and such?" Kurt teased. Blaine's grin was wide and contagious.

"No. He's good. He had clearly known for a while that he planned to go, and he was already seeing someone when I came back to the States at the end of the summer. He had graciously offered to keep things with Greg on the down-low until I figured out what I wanted to do about…you. But he fervently urged me to track you down and see what we might still have between us. And I planned to, believe me. I just didn't…I didn't think fate would step in so soon. But I'm infinitely glad that it did."

They were both quiet for a few minutes, Kurt's head resting on Blaine's shoulder as he sat there lost in thoughts of what had been, what was, and what could be.

"Tell me about Lars?"

"What? Seriously?" Kurt asked, wanting to talk about anything but Lars. With a sigh at Blaine's look of expectation, he began to speak.

"Lars and I…we were friends. We met through work and we were fast friends and it was…nice. It was nice to have a friend who was well known for his own work and didn't hang on because of…me…who I am and where I work, ya know? There had been plenty of those around and I had begun to distrust people. But Lars was different. We were just friends for a little while, but then it progressed into more, and it was comfortable, but not…everything. He's…he's bitter, I think. After he found my box of memories, he left. He was angry, and although I don't think he had reason to be nearly as angry as he was, I can see where he was…hurt. I kept those things for a reason, and he realized what that reason was. He knew I still had feelings for you and he said some rather crappy things as he left. But, it was for the best. He's moved on, I'm told," Kurt chuckled. "And that's just fine."

"But you loved him, at least at some point?"

"I did love him but I don't know that I was ever in love with him. We were great…as friends. It was convenient and agreeable…not the words you want to describe the relationship of a lifetime, though," Kurt said, sadly.

"And what words are those?" Blaine asked, nosing at Kurt's cheek.

"Overwhelming, spectacular, intense, comfortable…but in an 'I don't ever have to worry about anything with us' kind of way…not in a complacent way. And love…above all else, strong and abiding love," Kurt finished, his voice soft and strong all at once. "In that 'I've been looking for you forever' kind of way," Kurt grinned, the love in his eyes so brilliant and sincere that Blaine was silent for a moment.

"And you think we might have a chance at that?"

"Well, I can only speak for myself, but I feel like…we've already been there and we're just making our way back to it. I need you in my life, Blaine. I don't know how I made it this long without you, but…whatever we need to do to make this work, I want us to be together again…if you want that, too."

"More than anything in the world, Kurt. More than I can even tell you. I didn't realize just how empty I was inside until I had you in my arms again."

"It won't be easy. You travel, I travel. We're not exactly living in the same city, either, but I want you to know, I think we can make a real go of it. I'm willing to try. I think we're worth it, B."

"Kurt," Blaine just shook his head, his cheeks pink from Kurt's words. He was thrilled to death to hear they were on the same page. "I firmly believe we can do this. And the distance—"

Blaine broke off at the sound of the doorbell ringing and Kurt found it odd that Dexter hadn't called up to tell him he had a visitor. They looked at each other for a moment and then Kurt rose and walked to the door, pulling it open.

A/N There...are you happy now? They're together again and it only took us...oh crap, yeah...way too long. I know, I know! :) Thanks for reading! One more chapter to go!

And thanks to Leah, whose review for the last chapter made me laugh out loud. Yes...wow, indeed, Ms. Leah! :D