Chapter 14- Memory With Strings
"From the wrinkles on my forehead to the mud upon my shoe. Everything's a memory with string that tie to you. In my dream I'm often running, to the place that's out of you. Of every kind of memory with strings that tie to you."
~Strings That Tie to You, Jon Brion
When Bethany and Steve had made plans to spend the day in D.C., Steve had assumed they would leave the baby at home. They were going to visit a sick, old friend and then interrogate members of HYDRA. It wasn't a place for a six month old. But Bethany wouldn't hear any of it. She insisted on bringing Jamie with them.
It wasn't that she didn't trust Jackson. She did and so did Steve. Tony was also continually working on making Avengers Tower the safest place on the planet. There was no way another HYDRA member would be able to worm their way into the building. After a lot of digging Bethany finally admitted that she wanted Peggy to see Jamie and this may be the only chance they could get.
"I just… I don't know. You knew. Bucky knew. Howard knew. And her. Peggy knew," Bethany explained, dressing Jamie for the trip. "And…"
"I get it," Steve sighed, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "You just want to show her that you're happy, I'm happy and that Jamie is happy."
"Is that wrong?" Bethany asked, wincing lightly.
"No," Steve replied. "As long as it's not bragging."
She smiled, rolling her eyes. "No... not entirely, anyways."
But Steve had been right. They should have left Jamie at home. They were only in the air for twenty seconds when Jamie started to cry. And refused to stop. Whenever Steve would hold him, he would howl. Whenever Bethany would hold him, he would wail. If Bethany tried to sing, he would drown her out with his own sounds. If Steve tried to play with his plushies with him, Jamie would grab them and throw them away. He was six months old and he was having a temper tantrum that could rival a temper tantrum of the terrible twos. He had even gone as far as to bite Steve at one point.
Steve was grateful that Bethany decided to call upon the private pilot opposed to fly the jet herself. It was a two-person job. Although, he felt really bad for the pilot, noting that he would have to give him a hefty tip.
"I don't know what's wrong," Bethany said exasperatedly for the fifth time. The flight was only an hour, but it felt like it had been hours.
"I don't know," Steve replied, trying to rub soothing circles on Jamie's back. He had always been good. Even as a newborn. He would wake them up every hour and a half to be fed, and he wouldn't take long to fall back to sleep. Even on his worst days, they knew they were good in comparison. If this was what Jamie was like when Steve had been by Bethany's hospital bed, Jackson deserved longer vacation time, that much he knew for certain.
As soon as the jet landed, Jamie's crying had turned into whimpers and hiccups, his tantrum dying down. "So apparently, he hates flying," Bethany summarized as Jamie let out a yawn and placed his head in the curve of her neck.
"I guess he has more Rogers in him than we thought," Steve replied, opening up the stroller. He took his time setting it up, snapping the baby car seat into place and making sure all of Tony's advancements were working properly before stepping back to help Bethany bundle him in his snowsuit, mittens and hat. When he was snug in his stroller, a thick blanket laying on top of him, they began to quickly dress themselves before he got too hot and started to complain again.
"Now he's tired," Steve said before letting out a heavy sigh, watching as Jamie's long lashes began to close.
"I wouldn't expect anything else after that show," Bethany said softly, her exhaustion loud and clear through her words.
"Here," Steve began, leaning out and fixing her scarf to cover more of her neck.
"Thanks," Bethany replied, tugging on the last of her winter clothes, a hat, and motioning for them to leave. It wasn't nearly as cold as New York City was, but Bethany's body lost heat quicker than the average persons' and Steve was not fond of the cold, since it brought back some pretty terrible memories. As for Jamie, they would rather him fuss and be warm than having the same condition as Bethany and freezing.
The journey to Peggy's retirement home wasn't long, and as Steve went to speak to the receptionist, Bethany began to take layers off herself and Jamie, who was cranky from being woken up prematurely. "I know, I know," Bethany mumbled as Jamie whined. She picked him up, bouncing him rhythmically as Steve came back up.
"She said that Peggy is having a good day, so it's good that we came," Steve explained, carefully pushing Jamie's curls into place.
"Is Sharon coming?" Bethany asked, wincing as Jamie let out an unhappy squeal, his arms going on to Steve.
Taking the baby in his arms, Steve shrugged. "She didn't say. But aren't we seeing her later today?"
"Yeah, I just didn't want her to miss a good day. Things go from great to horrible pretty quick. Especially as time passes," Bethany sighed before shaking her head and looking around at everyone lounging in the lobby. "I always feel like I cheated life by still being young. It makes me… uncomfortable."
"We got married here," Steve reminded her.
"I know, I just… I don't like the gazes I get, that's all," Bethany explained. "Let's just go. I want Peggy to remember everything, not like last time you were here."
When Steve had gone to D.C. a few months ago to take Bethany's place in a series of meetings with the government, he didn't hesitate to drop by and speak to Peggy. He had left heartbroken each time as Peggy had no memory of him. She had been completely gone, lost.
As they made their way to Peggy's room, Jamie kept squirming in Steve's arms, but he kept him secure in his arms, giving him soft hushes to try and soothe him. "He had to pick today to act like Tony, didn't he?" Steve asked, watching as Jamie's fingers tried to reach up and grab Steve's hair, no doubt to pull it.
"Maybe his teeth are bothering him," Bethany suggested before lightly knocking on Peggy's door and sticking her head in. "Pegs?"
"What did you do to your hair?" Came Peggy's voice, filled with age and exhaustion.
"She stepped too close to the fire," Steve explained as they moved into the room. "Hi Peggy."
She looked so small in her bed, completely unrecognizable to her former self. Her hair was thinner than it was last time he saw her, and she looked to be struggling to just keep her head up, even as it was propped against a pile of pillows. "I didn't step too close, I was trapped," Bethany corrected, acting as if Peggy was the same as she had been back in 1940. Steve figured it was because Bethany had watched Peggy age. Steve was still always in shock.
"I see you brought me a present," Peggy said, her eyes trailed on Jamie.
"He's not particularly happy today," Steve explained, moving to Peggy's bedside and carefully sitting on the edge so she could see the baby.
"He looks like you," Peggy said softly, her wrinkled and weak hand moving out to touch Jamie's foot carefully.
"He has Beth's curls," Steve added, feeling Bethany's hand on his shoulder, taking her spot next to him. "And lips."
"And Howard's mischievous glint," Peggy added. Bethany craned her head around Steve's body to look at her son.
"Oh yeah!" She agreed. "That's why he looks like him."
"That doesn't concern me at all," Steve grumbled, sitting Jamie on the bed and watching as the infant looked around his new surroundings, making baby-like garbles.
"So, how you doing Pegs?" Bethany asked.
"Oh, you know. Craving something new and never getting it," Peggy replied, smiling tiredly. "Barely get out of bed some days. Part of me wonders why I'm still holding on."
Steve closed his eyes for a moment, swallowing. "Don't say that Peggy."
"I've got nothing left to stay here for," Peggy explained, still smiling softly. "I told myself I wouldn't give up until they found you. They found you. You're married and you have a son. You have a family. You're living your life. There's nothing left for me to regret."
"Does your fading memory scare you?" Bethany asked suddenly. "I just… I recently lost some memories. I forgot about Jamie. Our marriage. And I'm terrified of losing them again."
"It's not always so bad," Peggy replied with a weak shrug. "If the memories are lost, I don't know that I've lost them. It's when I remember that the panic sets in. But when they fade again, I have a sense of… peace. It's not the way I want to go, not remembering my life, but it's the hand I was dealt. But the memories… those are the ones that are connected to the pain and the fear."
The word 'sorry' would never be enough. Steve could tell Peggy over and over that he was sorry that she was suffering like this, but at the end of the day, the words wouldn't have any effect. And often, she wouldn't remember them.
"What brings you to D.C. anyways?" Peggy asked, her smile growing for a moment when Jamie let out a laughing squeal, randomly pleased by his own musing.
"Well, you, for one," Steve promised. "We wanted to see you. Wanted you to see Jamie."
"Jamie," Peggy mused. "Very fitting."
"We also have some business to do," Bethany added. "We captured some HYDRA agents that were participating in illegal human experimentation."
"Exciting," Peggy nodded. "How is your work coming along?"
"It's…" Bethany paused, sharing a look with Steve. "Not coming along as fast as we'd hope, but it's coming. The idea is to end HYDRA before they make any real moves."
"They've been in the news a lot," Peggy nodded. "So has SHIELD."
"They keep saying that things HYDRA is doing is SHIELD," Bethany confirmed. "SHIELD is… nothing but a ghost at this point. Some agents are still out there. But everything we made it out to be? It's gone. And I don't think it'll ever come back. But there's enough little SHIELD groups scattered here and there to stop whatever HYDRA's plans are."
"Our plan is to stop them permanently," Steve explained. "As well as stop any other global disturbances. We want Jamie to be safe, as well as everyone else."
"Something Bethany knows very well has been a long challenge," Peggy added.
"It didn't help that I took a break," Bethany sighed, looking to Jamie who was studying his hands like they were the most interesting thing in the world. "Not that I regret it."
"I understand," Peggy promised. "There's only so much you can do for others before you do something for yourself."
Kiley was standing in the corner, clutching her sweater to her. They had found an extremely cheap inn and since the weather was getting so low, they decided they deserved a night in a warm hotel room opposed to in the uncomfortably cold car. The room had a double bed and a pull out couch, which Bucky quickly stated he would take. She had crawled under the sheets of her bed with a smile, feeling safe and warm.
But now, she was terrified. Bucky was on his bed, thrashing wildly and crying violently. She wanted to wake him up, but she knew that it could just make everything so much worse. He could hurt himself, or even her. Conscious, she trusted him completely. He didn't scare her, even when he got that dark look in his eyes. But unconscious, he was unpredictable. He had the ability to crush her, beat her, kill her even. And the only one who would know what he had done would be the two of them, lost in the middle of nowhere.
She felt guilty for standing there like a coward. Kiley had promised Bucky to be there for him, to always help him, and here she was, standing against the wall and trying not to cry. She had never seen him this bad. The way his body was convulsing, it was as if he was being tortured and she couldn't just watch any longer.
Looking around the room, she decided that she would throw a pillow at him, with the hopes of it waking him up. While the idea and execution wasn't going to win her the Nobel Prize, and was very dangerous, she couldn't watch him suffer any longer.
Carefully moving across the room, she picked up the pillow from her bed, clutching it to her chest for a moment while she gathered her courage. Letting out a quick breath she tossed it in his general direction, and missing all together. Bucky had the other pillow from the bed. Taking that new built up courage, she tiptoed over to pick up the pillow. She was hovering above him for a moment before she ducked down and grabbed the pillow. Before she could step away to toss it at him again, his eyes flashed open and faster than Kiley thought was humanly possible, he had her pinned against her bed.
She let out a squeak of surprise as his hands pushed against her shoulders. His face was barely an inch away from hers, and there was no recognition in his eyes. His breathing was heavy and he had trails of sweat running down his face and neck. Her eyes were wide as she stared back at him, waiting for him to remember where he was and who she was, but she felt something… odd stir within her. His lips were parted slightly, and she could see how pink they were with the few strays of light dancing through the blinds from the streetlight just outside their room.
"Bucky?" She attempted, her voice as soft as a feather.
As he let out a deep breath, he pulled himself away from her, stumbling to the pull out couch and sitting on it. He rested his elbows on his knees and buried his head in between, his shoulders shaking. "Hey, it's okay," she tried after sitting up and leaning out to touch his arm.
He flinched at her touch but relaxed after a moment, giving Kiley the motivation to sit beside him and place a hand on his bare back. She could feel his muscles clenching with every breath he took, but she dare not say anything until he calmed down. She let her hand dance around his back, hoping to soothe him, and soon enough his breathing started to slow.
"I'm sorry," Bucky whispered.
"You didn't do anything," Kiley replied honestly.
"I scared you," Bucky continued, as if she said nothing. "I could have killed you. Did I… Did I hurt you?"
"No," She promised when he looked up at her.
"Are you sure?" He asked, raising his metal hand to her face lightly, hesitating before cupping it.
"You didn't hurt me," Kiley promised, her hand resting on his lower back. "You scared me, but only because I was worried about you."
"I could have hurt you," Bucky said, seemingly not concerned about her worry for him. "You shouldn't… you shouldn't be here."
Despite his words and the fear in his eyes at being so close to her, he didn't move away. If anything he got closer to her, his other hand, the one with flesh, moving to touch her waist softly. "But I am here," she reminded him. "And I'm not leaving you. No matter what. Okay?"
His brows furrowed, his worry evident, but he only nodded. "I don't want you to leave," he whispered.
"And I'm not going to," She repeated. "Me leaving is the last thing you need to worry about. Do… do you want to talk about it? The dreams?"
"No," he said so softly that his lips barely moved. "I don't want to relive it."
"How can I drown the dreams for you?" Kiley asked when his metal hand fell and landed softly in his lap. "What can I do to help you sleep?"
He looked at the window, the blinds making it impossible to see outside, but he seemed intent on watching the shadows and slivers of light dance into the room. "Sing to me?" He asked softly.
Kiley was taken back at that but nodded nonetheless. "Yeah, yes. Of course," she stumbled. "Lie down."
Bucky did as she instructed, picking up the pillow she had previously thrown at him and placing it next to his own. Kiley took his hint and laid down beside him on her side, and pushing some of his hair out of his face. He'll need a cut soon, she thought to herself, wondering if he'd let her do it.
"What song do you want?" She asked when he closed his eyes.
"A song that always makes you happy," Bucky said softly. "Something that brings back a happy memory for you."
Kiley took a moment to think it over before remembering a song that she had heard a few years ago while clicking random youtube videos and had ultimately fallen in love with. It became what she wanted in her life.
"Run away with me. Let me be your ride out of town, let me be the place that you hide. We can make our lives on the go. Run away with me," Kiley began, smiling as she sang the words, realizing in a way, in a lot of ways, she was getting what she wanted when she heard the song originally. The circumstances weren't exactly desirable, but nonetheless she was getting it.
"I'm not trying to make you a wife here, I'm not trying to tie you down. I'm just saying there may be a life here- a new one as soon as we run, just as soon as we run," she continued, her eyes on Bucky's face. He wasn't asleep, she knew this. But he was visibly taking comfort from her words.
"Say the word and I'm already there…" Kiley sang, her voice getting quieter with every word and her eyes heavier. "Run away with me…"
It felt eerily comforting to be in an intelligence building again. All around her were agents and security systems. It was business, all day, every day. And she felt like she was home.
"They haven't told us much," Sharon explained as she led the three of them to where they were holding the HYDRA agents. "We've had a lot of agencies in here, trying to use whatever they could to crack them, but there's only so much we can do considering we have to abide the law."
"What? Playing Aqua for thirty hours straight hasn't cracked them?" Bethany joked.
"SHIELD definitely had some… successful tactics," Sharon agreed with a soft smile. "But also a lot of corruption."
"You will not hear us arguing that," Steve replied, looking down to Jamie who was sleeping in his arms. "Beth, I don't want to bring him in with us."
"I can watch him," Sharon promised. "I always took good care of Molly, didn't I?"
Bethany chuckled, nodding. "He'll be fine with her," she told Steve, although she knew he still had some apprehensions. "Although, good luck if he wakes up. He's not a happy camper today."
"Well, lucky for me, you'll be on the other side of this wall," Sharon announced as they came to a stop.
"Wait, you're holding all of the capture HYDRA agents in one area?" Steve asked, his disapproval clear.
"They're all in isolation," Sharon explained. "Having a concentrated area is easier than separating them. Plus, we're getting someone new every single day, thanks to all the SHIELD agents that are still out there working. I know there's risk in this, but it's better than our alternative."
"How is the CIA regarding that?" Bethany asked, leaning against the wall.
"Mixed views," Sharon nodded. "Although they let me in quite easily. Proving myself, as always, will be a challenge, but it'll always be one I'll welcome. Makes it all the more worth it."
Bethany smiled, letting out a small chuckle. "You sound like your Aunt. As much as you think your male co-workers are asses, you should have seen and heard them right after the war, where it was expected that women just start popping out babies."
"Oh, I've heard the stories," Sharon replied with a smile of her own. "How was she? When you saw her?"
Bethany and Steve shared a sad look before Steve sighed and replied. "She's withering away into nothing. She seems to be accepting this though."
"She's lived a full life," Sharon reminded him. "She says there's nothing holding her back anymore. And as much as I don't want to lose her, I don't want her suffering anymore."
"Well, you're always welcome in our family," Bethany promised. "Stop being such a stranger. I know work is important to you. But so is living your own life. Peggy wouldn't want you to waste it all away on work. Even she knew when to slow down."
"I'm not ready to slow down," Sharon insisted. "I mean, how long were you not ready to slow down?"
"Touché," Bethany replied before chuckling. "Okay, we better get started."
"Right," Steve nodded before handing Jamie to Sharon. He made sounds in his sleep during the exchange, but let out a long sigh before stilling in his sleep. Steve watched his son for a moment, Bethany moving a hand to his arm.
"Steve, he'll be okay," she promised him. He only gave her a nod before Sharon instructed the guard to let them in.
Sharon had handed Bethany a tablet with all the information on the prisoners, including their cell number. The rooms they had them in were indeed isolated. Bright and harsh lights hung from the ceiling down the long hallway, but besides that, everything else was black. Two rows, one on each side of the hallway, of cells stretched out far. Each had a thick heavy door with a thumb print pad as substitute from a door handle.
"They have Jacob in eighty-three," Bethany said as the door behind them closed.
"Beth," Steve began as she started forward. "I don't like leaving him on the other-"
"Steve, I trust Sharon," Bethany replied quickly, her pace never slowing for a moment. "If I wasn't comfortable, do you think I would leave him? No."
"Fine," he grumbled.
"I know you're worried," Bethany sighed. "But all our worries are in here, not out there."
"Fine," he repeated, earning a scoff from his wife. The rest of the walk was spent in silence.
"Here," Bethany announced, arriving in front of cell eighty-three. She placed her thumb on the scanner, her print having been long ago embedded in their system, since before Steve woke up. She was one of the few SHIELD members to have that privilege then, and now.
When the door opened up, the room was all white, the lights above Jacob's bed and small open bathroom very harsh. Jacob sat on the bed, his hands covering his eyes, trying to get some sort of relief from the bright light. Steve and Bethany stepped into the cell, the door closing behind them. Steve reached out and touched the force field wall in front of them, pulling back at the sharp tingle it emitted. The soft buzz had been enough to gather Jacob's attention. For a moment he looked confused. And then he looked scared. But just as quick, he looked excited, and that emotion stayed on his face for the entire visit.
"Well, well, well," he said, getting off his bed and walking to stand in front of the force field. "What do I owe this visit? I'm sorry the place isn't nicer, I wasn't expecting visitors. I would have made a spread, a little cheese and cracker-"
"Cut the crap, Charinski," Steve spat.
"Ohh, short tempered today, I see," Jacob smiled, seemingly proud of himself. "Although I can't really blame you. I'd be cranky too if I had your life. And how are you today, Mrs. Rogers?"
Bethany gave him a fake smile. "I'll be a whole lot better once I rip your eyes from their sockets."
He didn't flinch, just continued to look amused. "Oh, but I don't think my wife would like that. She loves my eyes, you see."
"Oh really?" Bethany asked. "Because… well, I was under the impression that you and your freaky Dr. Frankenstein took away her memories."
"Caught onto that, did you?" Jacob asked, crossing his arms. "Honestly, I like her a whole lot better this way. She doesn't know right from wrong. A blank slate. You can basically tell her anything and she'll believe you too. No apprehension, no suspicion. You should look into that, Captain."
Bethany wrapped her hand around Steve's wrist when he went to move forward. Her hold couldn't actually hold him back, but it helped him remember and calm down. However, Jacob didn't fail to notice this, his smile getting bigger. He was getting to Steve, it was obvious. But Bethany knew how to play this game, and she was good at it.
"A very interesting way to suppress the mental reactions with Paracelsus," Bethany continued, nodding and putting on a thoughtful façade. "Takes away all the pressure the brain had been through during the procedure. Yes, it puts more… stress on it, but at the same time, she's unaware of all of this. An odd type of placebo effect, wouldn't you agree?"
"All I know is that it worked," Jacob replied. "Have you seen her in action?"
"Yeah," Bethany nodded. "Almost turned me into an ice sculpture. Why did you pick ice? Wouldn't fire be better? Air? Earth?"
"They were saving fire," Jacob explained. "And they had yet to stabilize air and earth. At least ice was an easier process. Plus, we wanted to turn her into a cold hearted killer. Emphasises on 'cold'."
"Saving fire for…?" Bethany asked, narrowing her eyes slightly. Jacob's smile only grew, his eyes full of knowledge. "For me? Why do people keep assuming I'm meant to control fire?"
"Your reputation will never die," Jacob explained. "And neither will you. And never will a strong fire. You're the Phoenix. HYDRA wants to make you one of them."
"And the only way to turn me into one of you would be to wipe my memories," Bethany concluded. "Jen wouldn't have joined you either. You had no choice but to wipe her memories. You didn't care whether or not a mental illness progressed, did you?"
"Oh no, I did," Jacob replied. "I had… sorry, have a lot riding on her. I needed her to stay sane. I needed her to learn how to control her ability. And I wanted to strike as soon as we could. Initially I wanted to wait," he admitted. "Wait until she was awake and could control her newfound abilities. But then I wanted to strike right after that. It was clear that you were all weak. Your guards were down."
"But not anymore," Steve replied. "You missed your shot."
"Oh no," Jacob disagreed. "We'll get it again."
"So you're still after a baby?" Bethany asked. "HYDRA still wants my son?"
"He's… unique," Jacob explained. "You know that. You both have been through genetic modifications that have completely baffled science for seventy years. One could even say you two are the epitome of perfect. So then, what does that make your son? Can you blame us for wanting to see his potential?"
"Oh, you'll find out," Bethany confirmed. "Just not the way you want."
"What, you think locking a hundred of us up will change anything? Our motto may be lame, but it's true. More than that, people are interested in our work now. It's all science and innovation. We want to branch out and welcome other parties, unlike SHIELD who kept the goodies mainly to themselves."
"Because no one else could be trusted," Steve said between his teeth, his jaw and fists clenched.
"Ha, you got that right," Jacob nodded. "Ah, but I worry not. Everything will fall into place. You'll see."
"You're right," Bethany allowed, a confident smirk on her face. "Everything will fall into place. But I'll make damn sure that HYDRA doesn't get a single hair from Jamie's head. And I will kill anyone who gets in my way. The only reason you're still alive is because we're merciful and have decided your more useful to us alive. But not for long."
"I'm not an idiot," Jacob stated. "I know how this game works. I was a SHIELD agent, once upon a time."
Bethany shook her head. "You were never a SHIELD agent. And no one is better at this game than me. The game of life and death? Of truth and lies? I will win, like I always do. And I'll have you begging for mercy-"
"I will not beg-"
"You will," Bethany said strongly, with so much passion in her voice that a chill ran up Steve's spine. "But before I do that, I'm going to make you regret even sparing Jen a glance. This I promise you."
Jacob had no response, and with that, Bethany led Steve out the door.
Bruce watched as Bethany and Steve talked in hush voices in the corner. He was trying not to eavesdrop, but it was too tempting. By their tones, he knew they weren't talking of love, but were arguing about something. Bethany seemingly won after eight minutes had passed by, but she wore no smile of success.
"She's secure in there?" She asked, stepping beside the control panel on the room Tony designed for Jen.
"According to Tony," Bruce nodded. "He has JARVIS keeping a constant watch on her. If she gets too violent or dangerous, he will emit a harmless gas that will knock her out."
"Hopefully it won't come to that," Bethany sighed. "Will she be awake soon?"
"As soon as I hit this button," he began, pointing to a key on the control panel that would keep her asleep. "She'll wake up. She'll be very groggy, however."
Bethany reached out and pressed the button, shocking Bruce. "I want five minutes with her."
"Wait, what?" Bruce asked, looking to Steve who only crossed his arms and shook his head lightly in defeat.
"She won't hurt me," Bethany spoke passionately. "If you need to put her down, I'll have at least thirty seconds after she falls asleep to get out, considering my regeneration will keep me awake longer than her. But I want five minutes. Uninterrupted."
Bruce and Steve shared a look before he nodded. "Go ahead."
Watching Bethany place her hand against the scanner, the door opened for her. Steve took his place beside Bruce, nervously watching as Jen started to wake up. "I can't decide if I like her better like that or not," Steve admitted.
"Who? Bethany?" Bruce asked, confused.
"She drives me insane," Steve said with a sigh. "When she wants something, she makes sure she gets it. Fighting with her is futile."
"You get your way on occasion, just remember that," Bruce said with a small smile. "She can take care of herself."
"I know," Steve said with a sigh. "But I can't help but worry. I wish I could say because it's for fear of Jamie having to grow up without his mother, but it's for selfish reasons."
"No one blames you Steve," Bruce promised.
"Where am I ?" Jen's voice rang through the speaker. It was filled with sleep and confusion. She sounded terrified and weak. She sounded broken.
"Safe," Bethany offered, but said no more about her location. "Do you know who I am?" Jen shook her head, looking towards Bruce and Steve, but both men knew that all she could see was her own reflection. "Do you know who you are?"
Jen was staring intently at her reflection and Bethany followed her gaze. Jen's blonde hair was in a haphazard mess, her skin looking as pale as the snow outside and her eyes wide. "Jennifer," Jen replied in the softest of whispers.
"But do you know who you are?" Bethany asked again, looking for more than a name. Jen's breathing started to increase, her fear taking over. "Hey, relax. It's okay," Bethany promised her. "You'll remember soon enough. My name is Bethany. My colleagues and I took you away from a HYDRA facility where they were experimenting on you, illegally, and to our knowledge, without your consent. Does any of this sound familiar?"
"I…" Jen began, looking to Bethany and studying her. "I've heard the name 'HYDRA' before."
Bethany nodded. "Okay. And… do you have any opinions on them?"
Bruce could feel Steve tensing beside him, but inside the room, Bethany looked calm. She had done this hundreds of times. She knew how to get people to trust her, even when they shouldn't necessarily. "She's good," Bruce spoke his mind.
"I… Where is he?" Jen asked in a panic.
"Who?" Bethany encouraged.
"The… the man. The men," Jen elaborated.
"Do you want me to get them?" Bethany tested.
"No!" Jen said quickly. "No… I… They scare me."
Bethany looked to the mirror, to where Steve was standing. Even though she couldn't see him, she seemed to be drawing strength from him. "They won't hurt you," Bethany promised Jen. "We're here to keep you safe. To help you get better. To remember."
"I can't remember," Jen gasped, her breathing heaving again.
"Jen," Bethany began, reaching out to touch her softly.
"I CAN'T REMEMBER!" Jen yelled, her panic setting in. "WHAT DID THEY DO TO ME? HELP ME!"
Bethany took a step away, watching as her hand started to turn to ice, starting where she had been touching Jen. Steve's hand quickly moved to the gas button before moving to the scanner and opening the door. Jen hadn't even fallen unconscious when Steve had picked Bethany up bridal style and carried her out of the room.
"Steve, I'm okay," Bethany stated, struggling to get out of his arms when the door closed behind them.
"Let's see," Bruce said, taking Bethany's hand in his own. Three fingers had turned to ice, but it wasn't growing any farther than that. "Incredible."
"Steve, put me down," Bethany said strictly, but Steve didn't budge.
"Any ideas besides cutting them off?" Steve asked, looking to Bruce.
"Hot water?" Bruce suggested.
"Steve," Bethany repeated, this time gathering his attention. "My fingers are frozen, I'm not dying. Please put me down."
Steve hesitantly did as she asked as Bruce checked in on Jen, who was passed out on her bed. "Alright, let's go test out my theory," Bruce suggested, the three of them going to the elevator.
"You're not going in there again," Steve decided, earning an eye roll from Bethany.
"Yes, I am. Steve, stop overreacting, please," Bethany stressed. "Did I ever forbid you from going back out on raids during the war? Or your missions with SHIELD when you were hurt? No."
"No, but you did hit me and yell at me more than once," Steve reminded her.
"That may be true, but I didn't forbid it," Bethany pointed. "Oh, no. Not our floor," she said as she realized that's where the elevator was going. "Theo is there."
"My floor it is then," Bruce nodded, quickly pressing the button to his floor before they passed it. As the doors opened up, Bethany chuckled.
"Oh Bruce, your floor looks like a frat house threw a party in here," Bethany explained, the three of them moving to his kitchen. Bethany and Steve sat themselves at his table as Bruce went to boil some water.
"I… Yeah, I spend a lot of my time in my lab or crashing on the couch on the communal floor," Bruce explained.
"So… shouldn't your place be spotless?" Bethany teased.
Bruce chuckled. "You'd think."
"You know, Theo would love to help you clean up if you gave him a few bucks," Steve reminded Bruce. The kid had been desperate to save up his money as of late, and Bethany and Steve didn't question why, only told him that if he helped around the Tower, they would give him a corresponding allowance.
"What? He isn't making enough money with the swear jar?" Bruce asked, taking out a giant bowl.
"Tony has been spending most of his time working on tech, so Theo has been losing his month haul from him," Bethany explained.
"What? The Thanksgiving loot wasn't enough?" Bruce asked, raising his brows for a moment.
Steve sighed, lowering his head and thinking back to Thanksgiving dinner. It hadn't been his finest moment as he and Tony got into a heated debate that quickly turned into an argument. He had been ashamed when Bethany had sent Steve to their bedroom and Tony to Jamie's to cool down like they were children. Tony had said more than his fair share of swear words, and Bethany had thrown her own in when they wouldn't stop fighting.
"Not my finest moment," Steve replied honestly.
"I really wish you two wouldn't fight so much," Bethany sighed. "You're grown men, not children. And certainly not my children."
"We lost more respect for him than you, if it's any consolation," Bruce offered. "You were only trying to get him to simmer down."
"I shouldn't have lost my temper so fast," Steve sighed.
"You were tired and stressed," Bethany reminded him. "Just… don't do it again."
"Is that an order?" Steve asked, amused.
"Yes," Bethany replied seriously. The kettle began to sing and Bruce poured the steaming water into the bowl before picking up a towel to wrap around it and bringing it over to Bethany. As soon as he placed it on the table, Bethany put her hands into the water.
"Still no pain?" Bruce asked, but as she didn't flinch with the boiling water, he had his answer.
"Nope," Bethany replied. "I should be more concerned, I know, but it's just… such a relief right now. Pain is the only thing I ever fear about getting hurt. And now that I don't have it… It'll make right now easier."
"I'd like to do some brain scans," Bruce continued. "Get a head start on figuring this all out."
"For sure," Bethany nodded.
"My concern is…" Steve began. "Pain is what tells you that something is wrong. You heal, yes, but sometimes, you don't heal right away. Sometimes there's issues."
"It's a good thing I have you to tell me when those issues arise," Bethany reminded him, taking her fingers out of the bowl. The digits were raw and red, but she wiggled them freely. "There. All good. And much tidier than severing them."
"Any plans for Christmas, Bruce?" Steve asked politely.
"Not any that I know about," he admitted, taking off his glasses and taking a seat at the table.
"Well, the more at our place the merrier," Bethany promised him. "We're taking the boys out to get a Christmas tree in a few days, and then we'll do all the decorating with the millions of Christmas decorations Steve bought last year. No invitation needed, just pop in if you want."
"Thank you," Bruce replied with a heartfelt smile.
"I ordered stockings for everyone," Bethany added. "So if you do intend on staying around, Theo will probably wake you up at the crack of dawn."
"Sounds great," Bruce nodded.
"We actually have a favor to ask of you," Steve continued. "Theo… he's been missing his mom. It's been four months. All he wants is his mother."
"He even wrote to Santa asking him to bring her home," Bethany sighed. "I just… She's here. Physically, she's close, but… she couldn't be farther any other way. Part of me wants to tell him that she's in the building, but he's too young to understand everything."
"He's smarter than you think," Bruce defended the little boy.
"After everything he's been through the last four months, would you want to burden him with this?" Steve asked.
"No, you're right," Bruce granted. "What can I do to help?"
Bethany and Steve shared a look, neither smiling, but both seemingly nervous about his reply. "Would you… wear a Santa suit and visit on Christmas Eve?"