AN: Sorry it's a day late. Yesterday was Mother's Day, and I was spending time with my son.
Hermione threw open the door and her heart fell to her feet as she saw that the person standing there was not the person she was hoping it would be.
Sam stood on her porch, and he looked terrible. He looked as if he hadn't slept in days, and his eyes were rimmed with red. She tried too look around him to see if the person she was looking for was standing behind him, but the fact that Sam was even standing on her stoop, was answer enough.
"No," she said, bringing her hands to her mouth.
Sam nodded, his eyes welling up. "I'm so sorry," he said. "We tried everything we could think of, there was no getting out of the deal."
Hermione's head felt light, and she was having trouble catching her breath. He was gone. She thought for sure he would find a way to get out of the idiotic deal he made, but now he was gone. Flashbacks to the end of the war and everyone she lost flew through her mind, as she began to shake.
"Hermione," Sam said, concern filling his voice. He moved forward to catch her before she fell to the ground. "Hermione, you need to breathe."
Hermione took in a shuddering breath, before dissolving into sobs. Sam wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, joining in on her sobs.
"Did you, did you burn him?" she asked when their sobs began to slow down.
She felt Sam shake his head against her. "No, I buried him. I still can't accept the fact that he's gone. I think there might be some way that we can get him back."
Hermione pulled away from him and looked him in the eye. "Are you sure?"
Sam shrugged. "There's always hope, isn't there?"
Hermione pulled away from Sam and wiped her eyes with her shaky hands. She continued to focus on her breathing, as she stood up from the floor. "Would you like to come in?" she asked, gesturing toward the living room.
Sam nodded. "Yeah, yeah that would be nice. I just...I just don't think I want to be alone right now. And Bobby has been calling me constantly, but I kind of don't want to be around him right now. Too many memories, you know?"
Hermione stopped and turned around. "And I don't bring too many memories?"
Sam shook his head. "It's funny, but after everything happened, my first gut instinct was to come here, as soon as possible. I guess you're the closest thing I have to Dean, and this place is the closest thing I have to a home, after this last year. I felt that you would be more of a comfort. Plus, I didn't want to have to tell you on the phone. You deserved better than that."
Hermione thought back to her last conversation with Dean. And how he had told her over the phone that everything seemed to be lost, that they weren't going to save him. Her heart ached knowing that her last conversation with him was over the phone and that she had gotten so mad at him for not telling her sooner so she would be able to help him solve the problem.
"Dean told me that he broke the news to you over the phone," he said, moving to the couch. "That was a real dick move on his part. And a really cowardly thing to do. Knowing that, I knew I had to come and talk to you in person. I respect you too much."
Hermione nodded, taking a seat next to him on the couch. "I really appreciate it. I don't know how I would have handled it if you weren't here to hold me afterward. I think I might have not been able to control the episode I was about to have."
"That's another reason I wanted to tell you in person. I didn't want to be responsible in case you had one of your seizures, and no one was here to help you. I don't think I could lose both you and Dean at the same time. It would probably cause me to spiral."
Hermione scoffed. "I'm not part of your family, I'm practically nothing to you. I don't think my death would cause you to spiral."
Sam moved so he was facing her on the couch. "You are-were-Dean's girlfriend. You've been seeing him for over three years now. He loved you. You are pretty much family to me now, hell, I lived here for most of the year. Of course you mean enough to me that if you were to die, it would deeply affect me."
Hermione wiped tears from her eyes. "I loved him so much," she said. "I can't understand how this happened. I'm just so glad that you're here, Sam. Because you're right, I've come to think of you as family, and I've started to care for you very deeply, and you being here, it makes the whole thing hurt slightly less."
Sam moved closer to Hermione, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close to him. She cried on his shoulder, as he said soothing words to try and ease her pain, before she fell asleep. He sat on the couch, holding his brother's girlfriend, whom he had started to feel less than brotherly about in the last year or so, until he himself fell asleep, wondering if he should feel guilty about wondering how long it would be appropriate to grieve before making his move.
/\/\/\/\/\
Two weeks later found Sam still camped out on Hermione's couch, doing research. Hermione was out in wizarding Salem picking up supplies. She had lots of potions orders to fill, and had been trying to keep up with them all even though her heart wasn't in it. He couldn't wait for her business to slow down a bit so he could have her help on trying to find a solution to getting Dean back.
His cell phone rang again for the fifth time that day. He took one look at the caller ID and put the phone back down. He was not in any mood to talk to Bobby. He knew he would eventually need to talk to him, and tell him where he was, but he still wasn't ready.
He ran a hand down his face, rubbing his eyes. He hadn't slept since before Dean was dragged to Hell. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Dean being ripped to shreds by the Hell Hound. He was thankful that Hermione was letting him stay on her couch, so he didn't have to be alone, but he spent most nights lying awake, listening to Hermione, who he knew wasn't sleeping either. He could hear her either crying in her room, or on nights when she has managed to sleep, waking up screaming. He knew she must be pretty upset if she was forgetting to put up her silencing charms.
He was about to give up and try and lie down again, when the door to the house opened and Hermione walked in. She was struggling with a bag on her shoulder, a stack of books under one arm, and she was talking on her cell phone with the other.
Sam put his laptop down on the coffee table and leapt up to help her. He took the books out of her arm and moved to set them on the table.
"I will, don't worry," Hermione was saying. She paused to listen to whatever the person on the other end of the line was saying. "I understand, completely. Please don't worry about me, I have plenty of people doing that already." She paused again. "I will, I promise. How about in a couple weeks?" She paused, nodding. "Sounds great. Thank you for checking in on me I appreciate it. Good-bye." She shut her phone and turned toward Sam.
"You need to stop ignoring Bobby's calls," she said, setting her backpack down.
Sam's eyes widened. "How does Bobby have your number?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Have you already forgotten that week I spent with you three at his home after your father passed? Or when I went on hunts with you?"
Sam remembered that week really well, it was the first time he got to meet her in person. He and Dean were such a mess at that time, and she was there to pick them up and put them back together. Especially Dean. He was a mess, but as soon as Hermione showed up on Bobby's lawn, he had changed. He dealt with his grief in a healthier way, and when they went on their first job, Dean was almost back to normal. Hermione left Bobby's shortly after they went on that first job, and they didn't get to see her for a month or so, but they spent a lot of time on the East coast this last year, and they were practically living in Salem with Hermione. Not to mention all the hunts Hermione accompanied them on. He knew that Dean was happy that their job allowed him to be with Hermione a lot this year, and even near the end he got to see her one last time. But he also knew, that it was becoming harder and harder for Dean to leave her. Sam figured that if Dean was able to get out of his deal he would give up the life and settle down with Hermione.
"Of course I haven't forgotten, that's when we first met."
Hermione beamed. "Well, after you and Dean left for that job, I stuck around and put up some wards around Bobby's place, to give a little extra protection against demons and things, and then I gave him my mobile number so he would be able to get a hold of me if he needed anything. Since I've already been to his home, it would be easy for me to apparate there, help out and apparate home."
Sam shook his head. "I know we all tell you this often, and I'm sure you don't need to hear it, but you're amazing."
"Well, thank you," Hermione answered. "Now enough with the flattery, and subject changing. Call Bobby and confirm that you're here and that you're okay, because I'm not going to field another call from him."
"I will, when we get back," Sam answered.
"When we get back from where?" Hermione asked.
"That tattoo parlor downtown. You're getting an anti-possession tattoo."
Hermione lifted a hand and pulled the necklace she wore all the time out of her shirt. "Can't I just keep wearing this? I have an, issue, with things getting carved into my skin."
Sam shook his head. "We can't take any chances. I know that you have wards and devil's traps and runes and everything around here, but we've still not figured out why that demon was here and tried to target you when you and Dean first met. I would feel a lot better knowing that you had a more permanent solution."
Hermione fidgeted a bit. "Will you hold my hand?"
Sam smiled. "Of course."
"Thanks."
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Sam was lying on the couch reading Hogwarts: A History for the second time, when an explosion came from the back of the house. He leapt to his feet, and ran toward the sound. He got to the spare bedroom just in time to see the door fly open.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Hermione was cursing as she walked out of the room.
Her hair was frizzier than normal, and she was covered in black soot, but she looked okay.
"What happened?" Sam asked.
"I got distracted, and I forgot to stir the potion I was brewing in time, so it exploded. That's the first cauldron I've blown up, ever," Hermione answered, her voice welling up with tears.
"Hey," Sam said, taking a step closer to her. "It's okay, you're allowed to have an off day."
Hermione shook her head, wiping her face with the back of her hand. "No I'm not. I'm not allowed to have an off day. I'm behind on my mail orders, and since I just caused that batch of Dreamless Sleep to explode, I'm even farther behind, I just-" she couldn't finish as she started sobbing uncontrollably.
Sam moved forward and wrapped his arms around her. "Hey, what's this about?"
Hermione took a shaky breath. "I found something of Dean's in my lab, and it got me thinking about him and it got me missing him, which got me distracted, which led to all of this."
Sam squeezed her to him, holding her close as she broke down. "It's okay, you're allowed to miss him."
"It's been two months," she cried. "When will it stop hurting so much?"
Sam shook his head, "I don't know, 'Mione, I don't know."
Sam ran one hand up and down Hermione's back and one hand dug itself into her hair, in an effort to comfort her. In a move that he'll later claim was move based totally on instinct, he began placing kisses along her neck and up her jaw line. Hermione stopped crying, and just stopped breathing in general. In fact she didn't seem to move. Time seemed to stop as Sam continued his journey up her jaw, to her temple, before pushing her back so he could look in her face. He looked into her red ringed eyes, and could see the sadness, the hurt, the fact that she hadn't slept well in two months, and shock.
Telling himself that two months was long enough, and that they both needed to feel something right now, anything, Sam closed the gap between them, pressing his lips to hers. Hermione stiffened before giving herself over to the kiss enthusiastically. She clung to Sam frantically, opening her mouth to let him gain access. Sam took advantage and slipped his tongue into her mouth, deepening the kiss. As their mouths and tongues moved in a frenzied unison, he slipped his hand up the back of her shirt, relishing in the smoothness of her skin. Hermione gasped, before deepening the kiss further, moving her own hands to the hem of his shirt. Instead of just slipping her hands inside, she grabbed the bottom of the shirt and yanked it up, causing the two to break their kiss long enough for her to divest him of his shirt. Taking her lead, Sam did the same to Hermione's shirt, leaving him bare chested and her in a cream bra.
Sam looked at Hermione, and tried not to stare at the large scar crossing her chest. He knew Dean was not one to kiss and tell, but he was surprised that all this time and Dean never told Sam about Hermione's injuries from the war. Sam traced a finger down the scar, and Hermione shuddered before leaning forward and rejoining them at the lips. As they kissed, Sam pushed himself up from the floor, pulling Hermione with him. When they were standing in the hallway, Hermione's hands moved down his muscular back, and around his waist before reaching for his belt and unhooking it. As her fingers fumbled with his button and fly, his hands moved to her own pants, and began working the button and fly down. Once he got them undone, he quickly divested her of both her jeans and her panties. Following suit, Hermione did the same for him.
Once they were both without clothes, Sam lifted Hermione and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He moved them both until he had Hermione trapped between the wall and his body. He ran his hands down her body, massaging her breasts, and tweaking her perky nipples before allowing one hand to go even lower. As he found her sex, wet and wanting, he began to massage her clit with a finger, causing her to let out a long moan. Not wanting to waste any more time, and since Hermione was obviously ready, Sam removed his hand, and moved both to her hips, lining her up with his very erect member. Pressing his forehead against hers, he plunged into her, causing them both to cry out. He moved at a quick pace, fucking her into the wall.
Hermione wrapped her fingers into his hair, holding on for dear life, as she felt him hit that sweet spot inside of her. She could feel herself quickly becoming undone, as Sam continued to ram into her. She ignored the pain in her back as it rubbed against the textured walls of her hallway, and just focused on the feeling of being totally fucked. It was the most alive she had felt in months, and she wanted to hold on to this feeling for as long as possible. She pushed all thoughts of Dean and how they had never fucked against the wall in their years together, out of her mind, and just focused on the fact that was actually feeling something. Sam adjusted them a bit and the change of angle had him hitting just the right spot, and soon she felt herself going over the edge.
"Sam!" she cried out as she came.
Sam grunted and continued pushing into her, relishing in the feeling of her walls clenching around him, and soon he followed her, releasing and spilling his seed into her with a sigh.
Sam continued to support Hermione against the wall as the two tried to catch their breath. Slowly they came down from their high, and then reality began to set in.
"Oh, god," Hermione gasped as what she just did hit her in full force.
"I know, that was amazing," Sam said, resting his forehead against her shoulder.
"Please put me down," Hermione said.
"What?" Sam asked.
"Put me down," Hermione repeated, this time more forcefully.
Sam loosened his grip on her and she scrambled out of his arms until her feet touched the floor. She quickly moved around him and scooped her discarded clothes from the floor and turned to head toward her bedroom.
"Hermione, wait," Sam said, confused about what exactly was going on.
Hermione stopped but didn't turn around.
"What's going on?" Sam asked.
Hermione stood there, without saying a word. She just shook her head back and forth as her shoulders started shaking.
"Did I do something wrong?" Sam asked, taking a step toward her, placing a hand on her shoulder.
Hermione jerked away from his hand as if it were on fire.
"No, you didn't," she said without turning around. "It's just, I feel that what we just did should never happen again, okay? We're both emotional, and neither one of us have slept in months, it was a one-time thing, okay?"
She didn't wait for him to answer, but instead hurried the rest of the way into her bedroom, and as she shut her door, and before she could throw up a silencing spell, he could hear her break down and start sobbing.
He stood in the hallway, unsure what had happened. Obviously the tryst in the hallway meant something different to each of them. There was no way he was going to be able to stay with her knowing what it felt like to have sex with her, and her not wanting to have a repeat performance. He ran his hands threw his hair before gathering his clothes and redressing himself. He walked into the living room and began throwing all of his things into his duffel.
He couldn't stay here any longer. He was starting to get feelings for Hermione, and it was becoming clear that she wasn't over his brother yet, nor did she seem like she would ever reciprocate those feelings. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a pad of paper, and jotted a quick note thanking her for her hospitality, but he needed to move on. He needed to get back on the road and kill some demons.
He put the note on her kitchen table, grabbed his bag, and walked out the front door, and didn't look back.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
"I'm sorry, Bobby, but I haven't heard from him for about a month and a half," Hermione said into her mobile as she moved about the house, getting it ready for her weekly visit with Harry.
"I thought he was staying with you? I thought you were going to keep an eye on him, and make sure he wasn't going to do anything stupid?" Bobby chastised over the phone.
"I was, but we got into a disagreement, and he just...left. He wrote me a note saying he needed to get back to hunting and that he would be in touch. I haven't heard from him since."
"Son of a bitch," Bobby cursed. "Will you call me the second that idjit calls you or inevitably shows up on your doorstep?"
"The very second, I won't even say 'Hi' to him, I'll immediately get on my mobile and call you," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. She really hated Sam putting her in this position.
"Sounds good. Take care, Hermione. Don't be a stranger, okay?" Bobby said, his voice softening a bit. "You're like a daughter, so I feel since those idjit boys aren't around, I'm responsible for you."
Hermione smiled. "I love you, too, Bobby," she said back.
There was some awkward mumbling on the other side of the line before she heard the line cut off. She chuckled to herself before setting down the phone and moving back to the kitchen to prepare the afternoon tea.
She hadn't seen Sam since they had had sex in her hallway a month ago. She had retreated to her room for a good cry and to ease her guilty conscience, and when she came out of the room, he was gone, and had left nothing but a note.
She hadn't meant to push him away, but she didn't think it would be fair if she were to give him the wrong impression. She didn't want a relationship with him. She was still very much in love with his brother, and she was still holding out hope that they would still be able to get him back. She just didn't have any idea how. And since Sam left, it's been even harder for her to deal with the loss of her boyfriend. She felt even more alone, and when Harry finally flooed over to visit her for the first time all summer, he found her a mess.
He was a very good listener, and he spent the last month picking her back up, and helping her come to terms with the fact that there was a possibility that Dean really was dead. That he wasn't going to come back, and that she would eventually have to move on.
He was coming over today to discuss the idea Hermione had flooed him with earlier in the week: the possibility of moving back to London. Just as when she left London a decade before, this house and this town just held too many memories of Dean for her to continue to stay. She was worried all her progress she had made after the war would just disappear.
The last year was her best year yet, and she knew it was because the Winchesters had basically used her home as home base operation, and mostly took cases on the East Coast, and she had the constant companionship of Dean almost every night. Her nightmares were basically non-existent, and she felt the best she had in years.
Now, she was back to not sleeping and the nightmares had returned. Only this time it was of Dean getting torn to shreds and suffering for eternity in a pit of fire. Staying here was no longer healthy for her. It was just a matter of time she had a major seizure and no one would be here to help her.
She took the boiling water off the stove and poured it into the tea pot, and placed some bisquits on a tray, and carried it all to the dining room table, setting it up for when Harry arrived. She had just turned around to pick up some discarded pieces of mail off the coffee table when her mobile rang.
She picked it up, but she didn't recognize the number on the caller id. She almost disregarded the call, but realized it could be Sam, finally contacting her after all this time. She flipped the phone open.
"Hullo?"
"Her-Hermione?"
She almost dropped the phone in shock. "Dean?!"
AN: Congratulations to psycho-pyro-shrink for winning the chance to choose a one-shot. She's given me a prompt, and I'm getting ready to start work on it, so stay tuned for that. Let me know what you thought of this chapter, I have a feeling it might be a little divisive. Only 3 more chapters and an epilogue left!