OK C/J fans – here's the next update. It would have been out sooner, but where I originally ended it…well, I feared you all might send the Royal Guard after me to hunt me down and hang me in the courtyard by my toes! LOL

As a reminder, there's only a couple weeks left in the contest. If any of you experienced trouble leaving a comment on the post, the website issue HAS been fixed – so please try again!

Enjoy!

Chapter 14: Man to Man

Joseph watched her sleep a few minutes longer before gently extricating himself from her arms. He had missed the heat of her body as he stood next to her, the smell of her perfume, the softness of her skin, and the satin of her lips. He retrieved another heat compress and activated it, placing it gently on her shoulder. She moved slightly in her sleep, drawing in a deep breath. His eyes were drawn to the swell of her breasts as her chest rose and fell with each inhale and exhale. The moment they both were better…

Reluctantly, he moved to the living room catching a quick glimpse of his bandaged shoulder in the mirror. It throbbed like hell, but he was doing his best not to take much of the pain killers. He needed to be sharp and back to one hundred and ten percent as soon as possible. He was going to find the bastard who shot at his Queen and make him pay.

He was just about to call Shades to ask for the file they had on the perp when his phone buzzed. "Joseph."

The guard outside the door advised the Doctor had returned. He thought of Clarisse asleep in his bed and tried to form a cover story as he instructed the guard to let him in. There could be no plausible reason to keep him out.

"Hello Joseph. How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been shot." Joseph grumbled.

"I want to take a look at the wound and change your dressing. Another few days and we should be able to leave the dressing off. Where is Her Majesty?"

"Asleep."

"I should check on her too."

Joseph stood up quickly, putting himself between Doc Weston and the door to his bedroom. "Just let her sleep. She's resting comfortably. I checked on her a few minutes ago."

Doc Weston studied him carefully as though weighing his options carefully before speaking. "You can trust me, Joseph. I already know."

His words startled Joseph. Dr. Weston never spoke lightly and he would never make a statement with such potential ramifications without it being the truth. "She told you?"

He shook his head, "She didn't have to. Please, let me check on her and then we'll have a conversation…man to man"

"Does she know you know?" He sounded like a middle schooler, but he couldn't help it. Between the pain and what drugs he had taken, his mind wasn't functioning at one hundred percent.

"Let me ask you something. Do you think she would have removed her blouse earlier, knowing you were in the next room, unless she knew she was in a safe environment to do so?"

Joseph was trying hard to make sense of everything he had just been told. Clarisse was an incredibly private woman and, other than her six month check-ups with the doctor, he wasn't aware of him even being at the palace. They had been so careful to keep their relationship private. How in the hell could the Doc know? He didn't speak, but moved out of his way to allow him passage into his bedroom.

He watched as the doctor gently touched her cheek in an effort to wake her without startling her. I pang of jealousy surged through him as he watched her eyes flutter open and a smile cross her face. His fists clenched as he heard them talk quietly. If the doctor had been surprised that Clarisse's blouse was removed, he made no outward sign. After a few more moments, he saw Clarisse point to her hip on the same side as the shoulder was bruised. Of course, there would be bruising there as well. For the thousandth time since he first saw her injuries, he cursed not only the man responsible for firing the gun, but also himself. If there had been any other way.

Joseph walked away to give them privacy as the doctor began to put another compress on her hip. Besides, the thought of another man touching her…even if it was her doctor…left a bad taste in his mouth.

A few minutes later, the doctor was back in the front room with Joseph. "She's resting comfortably again. Now let's tend to you."

"I'd rather have that man to man talk first."

Doc Weston just smiled patiently, "I'm a multi tasker. I can talk and do this at the same time."

"You certainly seemed to enjoy your conversation with Her Majesty." He hated being jealous, but blamed his lack of control on the pain meds.

"I needed her permission before I shared anything with you."

Joseph's interest perked up, "About what?"

"Our past together. I take Doctor-Patient confidentiality very seriously. I would never betray her. I never have."

Something in his voice calmed Joseph. He knew whatever the Doctor was about to tell him would give him an even greater perspective into her life. The fact that she was willing to have this shared with him moved him on many levels. Though he worried why she wouldn't just tell him herself. "Why can't she tell me?"

The bandage was removed and the same gentle poking and prodding began on Joseph's shoulder just as it had on Clarisse's earlier. "She felt hearing it from me might be easier for you."

"Does she ever think of herself first?" Joseph asked out loud.

Doc Weston chuckled and shook his head, "Not since I've known her."

"So tell me."

Some ointment and a fresh bandage were applied then the older man sat down on the couch and crossed his long legs. "Unlike our Queen, I was very arrogant when I learned the King had chosen me to be personal physician to the incoming princess. I'll never forget the first time I met her. She had come in for a full physical to determine she was physically fit and healthy enough to bear the future heirs to the throne of Genovia. And, of course, that she was pure for the prince."

Joseph tried to not to imagine what all that examination entailed. "I don't think I need these details, Doc."

"Yes, well whereas I was quite full of myself for being given such an honor…the future Queen was both quiet and humble throughout the entire process…"

"Sounds like the woman I know."

"Indeed. When we were done, she thanked me. I told her I would see her in three months for her checkup."

"Three months?"

"The country wanted their heir. It was my job to make sure nothing in the Princess' health delayed that possibility."

"So what happened? So far there's nothing I couldn't have figured out for myself." Joseph was pretty sure the bullet had removed what little patience he had possessed.

"She called to say she couldn't make our appointment and would need to reschedule. Needless to say, I was not pleased. Since I had been appointed by the King, I requested an audience with him and insisted that the Princess keep her appointment. I will never forget what he said to me."

He now had Joseph's attention. Other than knowing King Edward had been a wise and fair ruler Genovia had prospered under, Joseph knew little about him. "What did he say?"

"He looked at me with those intense dark eyes and told me he had chosen me very specifically and my job was to give the Princess the utmost care for her entire being, not just the physical." Doc Weston paused a moment, lost in time. Finally, he spoke again, "He told me he would order the Princess to honor her commitments and expected me to do the same. I think he suspected even then…"

"Suspected what?"

Doc refocused on Joseph's face, his voice sincere as he shared. "Suspected his new daughter-in-law would be the prime target for his son's anger issues."

"Dear God. Why didn't he stop Rupert?"

"Appearances are everything, Joseph. You know that. The Royal family is held to an unbelievable standard and the people want their monarchs to have not even a hint of impropriety. So many backdoor arrangements and other sordid deals are made to protect the illusion of perfection."

"And were you a backdoor arrangement?"

He chuckled, "I suppose I was – though at the time I didn't realize it. In retrospect, I understand and am humbled the King chose me to watch over and protect the future of Genovia."

Joseph ignored the comment he wanted to make that it was his job to do to protect the future of Genovia and had been for quite some time now. Instead, he prompted the Doctor to continue, "So what happened when she showed up for her appointment?"

"She didn't say a word. No apology. No excuse. Nothing. She simply changed into the gown and took her position on the examining table. She must have known it wouldn't take long for me to figure out why she had tried to evade the exam."

The familiar fear and anger clutched at Joseph's chest when he thought of the past Clarisse had endured. "And what did you find?"

"Bruises. On her upper arms and inner thighs."

"Dear God…they had only been together three months at this point, right?"

Dr. Weston nodded. "Finger print size bruises. She had been forcibly restrained."

"What did you say?"

"I asked her if she had been a willing participant. At this point, I had no idea about the anger issues of our future King. I didn't want to judge or assume if they happened to enjoy things a bit rough."

Joseph admired his restraint. He was certain he would have seen the bruises and immediately left to throttle Rupert. "How did she answer?"

A sad smile, "She asked me to define willing."

"She married him so, in part, she thought she had agreed to be treated that way?"

"In part, I suppose. I think it was more her love for Genovia rather than Rupert that made her keep her silence."

"She always has loved them more than anything else." Or anyone else…

Doc nodded, "She takes her duty very seriously."

"So what did you do next?"

"I waited for her to get dressed and then I told her should she ever change her mind to let me know and I would serve as a witness. At that point, I wasn't sure what else I could do."

"The abuse worsened, didn't it?" Joseph knew it had since Clarisse had shared some of those details with him.

"Yes. It got much worse after Pierre was born. The King did not appreciate her reticence towards sharing his bed again."

"She told you that?" Joseph wasn't certain how he felt about all of this.

"She told me many things over the years, Joseph…but, it's important you understand the capacity in which she told me."

"Which is?"

"Besides being a licensed physician, I also hold a psychology and counseling degree."

Recognition dawned for Joseph, "The King chose you very specifically…"

"Yes, he wanted her to have someone she could confide in who could be trusted and was equipped to help her through the most difficult times."

Joseph felt moderately better about this revelation. "When did you tell her about your counseling degree?"

"After he gave her a concussion."

"In the shower…." Joseph added.

Doc Weston shrugged, "I never asked for details – only listened to whatever she had wanted to share."

Joseph felt guilty for assuming the worst about their relationship. The Doc truly was a professional. "She was lucky to have you there."

He shook his head, "She would have been luckier if she had not needed me for such things. You should know she never complained…only asked for help in understanding and how best to diffuse his anger."

"Sounds like her." Joseph smiled.

"Yes. Of course, even together she and I were not able to stop him. It wasn't until the one night…"

"The glass…" Joseph finished.

"Yes. The glass. It was horrible, Joseph. It took hours to clean and treat the wounds. Had Rupert not come to me and promised to get help, I would have filed the charges myself. I've never been so angry in my entire life."

"I would have killed him."

Dr. Weston's eyes found Joseph's. "I believe you would have."

"Slowly. Painfully. Completely." Joseph confirmed.

"They would have taken your life in exchange."

Joseph shrugged his shoulders, "My life for hers – that's the deal. Always has been. Always will be."

"I considered trying to poison him a few times. Perhaps not enough to kill him, but enough to make him violently ill so he would feel some of the pain she experienced." Doc Weston admitted.

"Why didn't you?"

Weston smiled ruefully, "There's a reason the physician doesn't get to treat both the Queen and King at the same time."

"Guess there's a reason the monarchy has been around for so long. Self-preservation requires a great deal of thought and cunning."

He laughed, "They have had centuries to learn from past mistakes. Once after a particularly difficult session with her, I almost suggested I give her the drugs to administer to him."

"That's treason."

He nodded, "Yes, it would have been. But she sensed what I was going to say and stopped me before the words could leave my mouth. She reminded me our situation only worked because she believed she could tell me anything without fear of repercussion or retribution. If I voiced aloud my thoughts, everything would change. So, for her, I kept my silence."

Several minutes passed as the information shared settled between the two men, both of whom had been willing to risk treason and death for the woman sleeping in the other room. Finally, Joseph spoke. "So does she still talk to you? Is that how you knew about us…she told you?"

"It was because she no longer needed to talk to me, I knew about you. I can see the trust in her eyes when she looks at you. It doesn't take a psychology degree to understand she had found someone else with whom she could share her burdens."

"She doesn't tell me everything."

He shrugged his shoulders, "I suspect she didn't tell me either. The fact she shared anything with you from her past speaks of a trust that should not be taken lightly, Joseph. And," he leveled a direct stare at Joseph, "should you ever betray that trust…know that I have no issues whatsoever to bring you harm. Until you two marry, I can still treat you which means I have the necessary access."

"What about the whole 'do no harm' pledge you take?" Joseph teased.

"She outranks you, my friend."

"So they keep telling me." Joseph laughed before turning serious. "Thank you for sharing this with me. I'm so glad you were there to offer whatever solace you could for her during those difficult years."

He nodded, "And now I trust you will treat her future with the same care I gave her past."

"With my life."

^^C/J^^

"Joseph?" Clarisse called out as she woke from sleep. At first she was confused with her surroundings, but the rich, dark tones of the room reminded her she was in Joseph's room….in his bed. Dear God…how long have I been asleep?!

A moment later, Joseph arrived by her side. "Hey you. Sleep well?"

"How long?"

"Just about an hour. All is quiet in the palace and no one is looking for you at the moment. I suspect Vanessa is responsible in part. Between her and Charlotte, no one else stands a chance. I was thinking you and I would make an appearance at dinner."

"Are you up to facing the masses so soon?" She asked as she reached out and gently brushed her fingers across the new bandage.

"Doc says I should be fine as long as I don't overdo it for a few days."

A slight blush covered her fair skin, "So you and he talked?"

He nodded, "We did."

"And?"

He let his fingers slip through her silken hair, down to cup her cheek. "And though I wish the need for his counseling hadn't been necessary, I'm glad he was there for you."

She smiled and turned her head to kiss his palm, "Are you angry at me for not telling you myself?"

His mouth quirked into a half grin, "No, as usual, you were right. It was better coming from him."

"Good."

Joseph let his hand drift down her throat to the swell of her breasts. Carefully, he undid the clasp before he captured the precious weight in his hands, slowly caressing. "I shall try very hard to not be jealous of the fact he is another man in your life who regularly gets to see you naked."

Clarisse gasped as his thumb circled the tiny bud, "Not. The. Same."

"He sees you. He touches you."

Her hands went to the waistband of her pants, "Help me, please?"

Undressing Clarisse was something he need not be asked twice. He moved the covers away and slipped his hands inside the unzipped front, careful to not put too much pressure on the bandaged area. It took a few moments, but they managed. She took one of his hands and slid it to the apex of her legs. He could feel the dampness through the silk. "When he touches me, my body doesn't react this way. No other man has ever caused me to be this responsive."

His lips were on hers as his fingers began to gently stroke the material. He was in no shape to make love to her, but that didn't mean he wouldn't see to her pleasure. It was time someone thought more of her than she did of an entire country.

Pleasure. Life affirming pleasure washed over her as she felt Joseph's fingers creating beautiful friction in her lower body. Days of worry and pain receded into the background as all feeling centered completely on the area under the tips of Joseph's fingers.

He smiled against her lips as her gasps and moans gained in momentum, her legs opening further encouraging a deeper touch. He pulled back just enough to see her face, "Let me take care of you…just you."

Realizing what he was offering, she smiled. "I love you."

Her words froze his movement. He knew she wanted…needed to hear the words. His eyes found hers. They were looking at him with such love, expectantly waiting. His shoulder twinged slightly in pain and he remembered he had almost lost her. The thought of life without her was just too great. He tried to think of something to say to appease and please her. He couldn't. Instead his lips covered hers again as his fingers began to move. He hoped it would work.

She pushed hard against his chest, causing a slight cry of pain from both of them. "Stop. Let me up."

"Clarisse, please." He stopped kissing her but otherwise his body remained in the same position.

Tears brimmed in her eyes, "Are you going to let me up or will you press a physical advantage against me as well?"

He recoiled as if she had slapped him. He wished she would have. "Of course not. I would never do such a thing."

She slipped her blouse on, ignoring the pain radiating through her arm at the jerky movements. "No you would just make love to me without really loving me. Emotional advantage. Physical advantage. I fail to see how one is better than the other."

She picked up her pants, bra and shoes and pushed open the door to the secret passageway. Before disappearing, she turned back to look at him. "Make no mistake, I am grateful for your willingness to sacrifice your life on my behalf. What you fail to realize is that without your heart, my life is nothing but the lifetime of duty to which I've become accustomed. Until you can find it in your heart to tell me you love me, Joseph…do not kiss or touch me again. That pain is far worse on my heart than any bruises or cuts on my body will ever be."

He watched her leave. Dear God…what had he done?

^^C/J^^

It took less than thirty seconds for something inside of Joseph to snap. He couldn't let her leave like this. Carefully opening the door with his good arm, he hurried down the passage way. "Clarisse!" he cried out in a loud whisper.

She didn't answer, but he heard her quiet sobs around the first corner. The sounds tore at the very fabric of his heart. He slowed and took a few deep breaths…he needed to get this right. A few measured steps later, she came into view.

"What do you want?"

"I want you to remember why I can't say the words."

Her eyes flashed, "You did once. Why can't you say them to me again?"

His mind raced…how could he have said those words to her and not remember. He had never known Clarisse to lie – not in negotiations and never in her personal life. She wouldn't lie about something so important. Why couldn't he remember?!

Joseph stepped closer to her, cupping her cheek in his hand. His blue eyes bore into hers. "Whenever I said them couldn't have been the way I wanted to say them to you. You deserve to hear them in the perfect moment. Please, give me a little more time to find the courage to do this right for you."

Clarisse studied him intently. He seemed sincere, yet she couldn't fathom what could be more right than being in his bed…his lips and hands showing her his love. "Courage isn't the absence of fear, Joseph. Rather the judgment that something, or someone, is more important than the fear. You have to decide if having a personal and intimate relationship with me is more important than your lifelong fear of saying I love you."

Her eyes bore into his, but she couldn't fathom the expression on his face nor did he say anything in response. Finally, she broke the silence. "I have to go."

Joseph watched her walk away, back into the safety of her suite. Away from him. Away from his fear. Away from his love. Once the door was shut, he whispered. "I love you and will find the courage to tell you…soon."

tbc