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P.S. Does this chapter come too soon?
….
A Soldier's Last Stand.
When Heaven beckons.
Dean.
"Man, I hate this truck. I want the Impala." I whined, glaring at the dashboard and roughly adjusting the seat. "This car is just rust, hope no chicks see me in this."
I was trying to push my family away, hide anything that reminded me of the past. But driving down a dusty road, unfamiliar wheels spinning under me and my hands clamped around a stranger's steering wheel, I missed the Impala. I missed the comfort she brought me, I wanted the memories her steel frame held.
I sighed. "Not the same. You don't even have a radio."
The silence was strange, my life had melded with the unnatural lack of noise. It put me on edge, brought out the predator in me and there was no one who had my back. There was no one to catch me if I fell.
But…no one's been there for years…
I brought the car of the road, the bulky body groaning under me and turned into Nick's Diner. Flipping of the ignition and pocketing the keys, I reached into the seat beside me, pulling the bag thin bag toward me. Clutching it tightly I stepped out of the car and closed the door behind me. Nick grinned as I entered the Diner, humming under my breath.
"Morning, kiddo!" He greeted. I nodded in response, sliding my coat of my shoulders and throwing in onto the counter. "Talkative mood."
"Bite me." I snapped, pushing the bag into Tessa's hands. She giggled and disappeared into the kitchen.
He laughed, throwing his head back in mirth. I scowled at him, folding my arms across my chest, annoyance flickering deep inside.
"Nicholas!" Randy bellowed from deep inside the kitchen. Nick flinched and my scowl slipped into a smirk. "Leave that kid alone!"
"Eat me."
"Mature, Nicky." I grinned.
Nick threw a pen in my direction, it bounced of my head before rolling under a table. I rolled my eyes as Tessa bounded out of the kitchen. She wrapped slender, pale arms around my waist, pressing her face against my chest. A moment of shock passed through me before my arms moved to embrace her lightly.
You're making me human. Less of a hunter and more of a man. You and Nick. You don't even realise what you're doing to me. You'll never realise how grateful I am.
"Hi, Dean. Sleep well?"
"No. You weren't in my bed." Tessa flushed and slapped me playfully across the chest. Nick groaned behind me, I felt a cocky grin on my face. She pulled away from me, a loving sparkle in her eyes. "How did you sleep, Princess?"
"All the better for not having you in my bed, baby."
I clutched my heart, fluttering my hand over my head. "Oh! You wound me! Oh! How could you be so insensitive?"
Tessa laughed again, catching my wayward hand, rolling her eyes. "You think you're beautiful, don't you?"
"I know I am." I responded
Tessa's lips were at my ear. "Honey, Nick's hotter than you."
I felt my mouth drop, I stared at her wide eyed while Nick roared with mirth. Tessa stood, her hand still clutching mine and waited. "You really know how to kick a man when he's down."
Nick wrapped his arms over my shoulders, amusement in his eyes. "Ah, Dean. We still love you."
"And right there is where I end this conversation." I slipped out from their grip, turning toward the door. I flipped the sign to open and glanced back at them. "Nicky, you don't get one piece of this fine body."
My laughter was louder than theirs, rising upward and stretching over the lonely years.
"Hello there, ma'am. What can I get you?" She raised a sculptured eyebrow, shooting an appreciative glance over me. I read the lust in her eyes with a smirk. "Beside me."
"Pie. Strawberry."
"Ah, good choice." I congratulated. "Be back soon."
I jumped when her hand touched my backside forcefully. Purple painted nails ran through ebony locks and I sent her a flirtatious, seductive smirk. It was still on my face when I passed the order to Nick.
"You're something else, Dean. Remember to do your job." Nick scolded.
"Yes, sir!" I saluted.
Turning back to the bustling people, I caught her eye again and she beckoned me. I glanced around, everyone was content with their food, their partners and children. I sauntered over to her, slinking down into the chair opposite her.
"Nikki." She extended her hand.
I clasped slender fingers. "Dean."
Her hand tightened on mine, her free fingers ran over the pale skin of my wrist. Holding hazel eyes to mine, she trailed her fingers further up my arm. I reached over to dust my fingertips over her cheeks.
"DEAN! WORK NOW!" Nick ordered. "God! Get your mind out of the gutter, boy and do your job."
I jumped away from Nikki, ripping my arm from her grip. A haunted memory sang to me, I felt my heart pound. Nikki slipped a piece of paper over to me, I stuffed it in my pocket and hurried over to a nearby table. I couldn't look at Nick when I pushed the slip of crumpled note into his hands. I slunk away from Nick, aware I was cowering before him but suddenly so afraid. I knew the past was invading on the present but I submitted to it. At the next table I approached, an elderly couple smiled up at me, I offered a whisper of a smile.
"Are you all right, sweetheart?" The woman asked. "You look pale."
A mother. A grandmother. Family I don't have.
…Oh God! I miss you all so much!...
Help me! Save me! Catch me! I think I'm falling.
"I'm fine. What can I get ya?"
"Two coffees, please."
I nodded, mechanically jotting down the words and pressing it into the waiting hand at the window. Minutes later, Tessa's gentle arms were wrapped around my chest and her lips were at the nape of my neck. Her embrace was comforting and to my disbelief I couldn't fight her.
"Don't mind Nick, Dean. He's stressed. Are you OK?"
"I'm fine."
A lie. A curse. A wall against the world.
Crash. Burn. Tumble to earth without my wings.
Why aren't you here when I need you?
"If you say so." Her arms tightened briefly once and she let go.
She didn't realise that she'd held me together in that one moment.
Hours later, as the last customer drifted out, Nick turned to me, regret and sadness in his eyes. He reached out a hand and clamped it gently to my forearm.
"I am so sorry, kiddo. I didn't mean it." He was pleading with me for understanding, wanting forgiveness. And like a fool I could give it. But I held it in and offered him a shrug.
"Sure, man. Whatever."
"I'm serious. I didn't mean it."
"I said all right, Nick." I snapped, tugging my jacket over my shoulders.
"You don't mean it."
"Whatever gave you that idea?"
"I'm sorry."
I nodded, patting down my pockets for my phone before reaching around the counter to snatch it up. I heard the door close gently as Nick retreated into the evening. I followed his retreating figure through the window. A feminine hand ran across my shoulder blade, easing away tension knots forming.
"Why did you do that? He was sorry." Tessa questioned
"Giving people a second chance gives them the opportunity to hurt you."
"Not us, Dean. Learn to trust."
I shrugged her hand away and heard her sigh. Moments later her heels clicked against the floor and the door clicked.
"I'm sorry guys. I'm just so messed up." I whispered. "I trust you more than you realise."
I headed for the stairs, my shoulders weighed down with confusion and misery. It was all catching up with me. The pain. The loneliness and confusion.
A squeal of breaks echoed around me.
"NICK! NO!" Tessa screamed.
A fear ran through me and I was sprinting for the door. I barely heard it slam shut behind me as I dashed toward Nick and Tessa. In the distance I saw a car speed away, Tessa crouched on the gum stained pavement, hands hovering over a motionless form. I bit back a shout and cried silently for a miracle.
Nick.
I fell to my knees beside her, trained eyes sweeping over him, hunting out injuries and not finding blood. I touched his forehead and felt him stir. Foggy eyes stared up at me, recognition in them.
"Nick?" Tessa's voice was a horrified whisper. Something had stolen my voice. I heard tears in hers.
"Son of a bitch." He groaned. "Bastard." He started to push himself up, Tessa placed a restraining hand on him.
"Wow, stay down. We should call an ambulance." She turned to me. But I couldn't answer. My mind was frozen in the fear.
"I don't need an ambulance. I'm not hurt."
"You were just hit by a car!" Tessa objected
"I'm fine." With those words, Nick snapped me out of my trance.
"Let me look." I ordered softly.
Nick's surprised eyes studied mine, I smiled reassuringly at him. Confidently, I ran my hands over his limbs, finding no breaks, he didn't cry out in pain.
"It missed me. I think I hit my head on the road." He confessed.
I reached for his head, fingering the back of it, feeling my hands come away slick with blood.
"We should get you to a hospital." I mumbled, biting the inside of my lip.
"No! No hospitals!" He struggled wildly.
"Not hospitals, all right. Tessa, help me get him inside." She nodded and slipped her hands under Nick's arms.
Groaning she pulled him up and I tugged his arm over my shoulders, balancing the weight. Nick moaned, stumbling, Tessa frowned by stayed silent. Shouldering the door open, we moved Nick inside.
"Randy!" Tessa summoned. Seconds later he was by our side.
"Jesus. What happened?"
"Car happened." She answered, gently pushing Nick into a chair.
"Look at me, Nick." I demanded. Chocolate eyes swung to mine. "He isn't concussed. Do you hurt anywhere? Apart from your head."
"No. I don't think they meant to hurt me. Just scare."
Tessa settled a bowl of water and towels beside me. "This is becoming a regular occurrence." I commented.
They laughed, Nick's was weaker but something loosened in my chest. I dabbed at the blooded wound on his head.
"Stiches?" Randy asked.
"No. It should be all right. Just keep an eye on him."
"I'll grab some painkillers." Randy offered.
Tessa mumbled something about fresh towels and hurried away. Nick sighed, my gaze leapt to him, searching for pain. He shook his head.
"I'm OK, Kiddo. What's wrong with you?"
I frowned. "Nothing. You're hurt."
"Barely. Dean, trust me. What's wrong?"
I hung my head, ashamed of the swirling emotions inside me. Nick's hand was a comforting pressure on my shoulder.
"Dean?"
"I thought you were dead."
"What?"
"Tessa screamed. And I saw you, lying there. And I really thought you were dead."
Dead because I wasn't strong enough.
Dead because I was selfish and wouldn't accept and apology.
Dead because I'm not enough.
….MY FAULT!...
"Oh, Kiddo. I'm all right." Nick slipped of the chair, to tug me into his arms. I let him, finally, someone supported me. Held me far enough above the ground even with my shattered grace. But even though I hid my face, I couldn't cry.
Somewhere inside…I had forgotten how.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
The increase of his embrace told me I was forgiven.
Later that night, death hung over me. I tasted it in the food I ate and it turned the air stale around me.
I could have lost Nick tonight. I call myself a hunter but people continue to get hurt.
Sam could be hurt, lying somewhere in a ditch without me. Did Sam and dad argue with me gone? Did they weep at my departure or did they rejoice that they were free? I didn't know. I sunk to the floor with my head in my hands.
I can't be a hunter. I didn't save Nick today. I brought Zack down on them.
SAMMY! TELL ME WHAT TO DO?
…Do you still love me?...Even though I left you?
Something's wrong. Someone's watching me. I don't feel safe.
My phone was in my hands, Sam's number flashing on the screen. A string of numbers printed on the screen.
Coordinates. Dad would understand. It gave me time. Time to decide if I should stay. Or if I should run again.
And just like that, I surrendered my freedom.
I can't be a hunter. I'm not strong enough. I bring shame. Dad would be so disappointed.
"I'm so sorry."
It was a fatal flaw in my reasoning that made me destroy the salt line.
There was too much smoke. It snaked down my throat, drawing harsh, hacking coughs out. It got in my eyes, bringing startled, pained tears to them. I pulled my shirt collar up to my mouth, hoping to dilute the smokes effect but I only coughed harder.
I can't see anything...
Oh, God! I'm going to die!
The smoke had suddenly taken a orange glow and it was unpleasantly hot. The flames had reached the stairs, climbing up them like a nightmare. Frightened, I stumbled backward, slamming the door shut. A cough jarred my insides, sending sharp pain around me. I lurched for the window, sighing in relief when my fingers found the cool glass. I fumbled with the lock but it wouldn't move. Confused, I tried again but couldn't open it.
"No...C'mon...open, please..." It was raw panicked sob that left my throat.
Nothing.
I was cornered, there was no way out. I was going to burn. I was going to die...tonight...in this building. They'd find a charred, deformed corpse in the morning and nobody would know it was me. I swung a fist at the window and cursed my fate.
"HELP! SOMEONE HELP!"
The song of the flames swallowed my words. The heat was unbearable, the smoke was too thick and the flames were to close. The building groaned and I couldn't hold back a scream. The building was crumbling around me, falling with me inside it.
I'm not getting out of this.
I reached for my phone, my fingers clumsy and trembling. I couldn't focus, the numbers danced on the screen. I dialled the number I knew so well...the one I had vowed never to ring again.
"Dean?"
The relief at hearing Dad's voice brought a blood tinted cough to my lips. Dad was happy, I hadn't heard that tone for years. Was it my call that alighted that passion in his again? For the first time since I left, my father was my life raft. The only one who could save me. But he'd never reach me. I'd burn before the night was through. I gasped, clutching at my throat, there wasn't enough air.
"...D-Dad... can't...breathe..."
"Dean? What's wrong, son? ASNWER ME, DEAN!"
"...F-Fire...can't get out..."
My legs gave way beneath me, I groaned when my body hit the floor. The flames were caressing the door, I could see their deadly glow. I felt my mind start to shut down, my body panicked in response. But the gasps only pulled more smoke into my body, the heat blistered my throat.
"Yes you can. Get to the window, Dean."
"Locked... Fire's at the door..."
"Where are you, Dean? TELL ME!"
"N-Nick's Diner...Dad! The...fire's too close! "A raw, death cough hacked out of my system. I whimpered as I chocked down more smoke.
"Where's Nick's Diner?"
"C-coordinates."
"I got them. Get out, Dean! Now!"
"...C-Can't...T-tell Sammy I'm sorry..."
"Don't do this. Please, don't." Dad's voice was chocked with tears and I didn't understand. Why would dad be crying? He doesn't cry?
Is it because I'm dying?
"...I'm sorry I left...didn't mean what...I said...sorry..."
"It's fine. We're not angry. Concentrate on getting yourself out. That's all we ask."
The flames had destroyed the door and suddenly they were all I could see. Their deadly waltz increased and they swept toward me, reaching hungrily for me. I recoiled from the heat, brining my hands up to my face. I could suddenly feel tears that had previously gone unnoticed.
Time's up...
"...Daddy...I'm scared..."
...All I wanted was to live...
The flames licked my leg, agonising pain clawed around my body. My jeans seared, the material curling and blackening. Weakly, I kicked at the fire, trying to fight it back in the only way I knew how. But my strength was failing and I could not beat an element, punches would only damage me. The skin of my leg blistered. I didn't know I could hurt this bad. I didn't think I would die alone. I wanted to go down standing proud, not venerable and terrified. I wanted my family around me when the end came. I didn't want to feel my body eaten by flames.
I understand now mum...I really do...I'm sorry you died like this...
There's only so much pain a body can take before it gives up. I was slipping, too far and much too fast. There wasn't anything for me to hang onto. Already the pain was numbing, I couldn't feel the flames that ate away at my skin. I could taste my death, could understand my end. But could not reach Sam, would never see him again.
Sammy...I'm so sorry...I don't want to die...Please...save me...I love you...
He would not answer. He would never know that my last thoughts were off him. He would only ever see a corpse that would not resemble his brother.
I screamed.
"DEAN!"
.
.
.
Fire consumes all.
...
...How many fans have I just lost?...
Don't kill me!