A/N: Yes I am the author formally known as cenagirl5421. I changed my pen name just so I could try something new. I've had the same pen name for over a year and I figured it was time for a change. Well enjoy the story!

One Month Later

The car ride to the arena was extremely longer then I thought it would be. Because of what happened at the draft last month and me taking a vacation without Vince's consent Vince suspended me for 30 days. It's been over a month since I had been on RAW. I was both ready for it and totally not ready for what would happen. While I was suspended I didn't regret that trip for a thing. Ken and I had grown closer while we were there. Over the month I had been gone Ken was still tending to his injury, so we got to spend more time together. Within that month I was falling more and more in love with him.

But today would be different.

Today I would probably see John. But I would try my hardest to avoid him at all costs. In all honesty, it's not that hard to avoid someone. The arena is so god damn huge! I was sure that it would be easy for me to hide from him. My driver pulled into the side entrance of the arena so I could get out. To add to my nervousness Vince was standing outside waiting for me. I sighed as I got out of the car. Vince walked over to me slowly as I got my bags out of the car. I turned around and shook Vince's hand.

"Glad to have you back Carrie. Now I know…"

"Just tell me where my room is Vince. I'm in no mood to talk."

"You're in the diva locker room. You don't have your own room anymore. You're…"

"I get it. I'm not married to Cena anymore."

"Yes. Listen…Carrie…I'm sorry that I didn't call about…"

"That's a little over due Vince. Instead of you apologizing your secretary called and left a voice mail on my cell. That's really sincere Vince."

"Like I said…I'm sorry."

"Save it Vince. It's done and over with."

I walked past Vince and headed into the arena. Yeah, I was happy to see Vince. But I was pissed off at him. Why might you ask? He didn't call me on June 25.

If it's all the same to you…I'd rather not talk about it. In fact, you probably know what I'm talking about.

So Vince didn't even bother to call me to come to the show. He didn't call so I could do a video like everyone else. I sat by that damn phone crying my eyes out while Ken was called to go to the arena. I waited all day for my call. By the time RAW started, I knew it was useless to wait anymore. So the next morning I find a voice mail on my phone. It was from Vince's secretary. She told me that he was very sorry for not calling me.

Oh whatever.

So I got into the building and looked around. I couldn't help but wipe a tear away. Despite all that happened last time I was here I couldn't help but miss being here. I looked on the board to see if I was in the line up tonight. Sure enough, I was. I would be in a match with Candice against Beth and Melina. I also noticed that Ken would be facing Super Crazy. I sighed. Well Ken did have to start somewhere again. I shook my head as I walked down the empty hall. As I was walking past the curtain, I stopped. I turned and looked at the curtain. Seemed like only yesterday the whole thing happened.

FLASHBACK

I started to tap my foot. I hadn't seen Ken anywhere! Where the hell was he? I watched the match on the monitor. In the end Randy won the battle royal for RAW. We all erupted in cheers. Smackdown and ECW just sneered. We looked to see who we got. Snitsky. No big deal. He pushed past all of us and went out for a brief stint. Then he pushed us all back as he walked away. Then I looked up again. The last draft pick was…Ken! RAW got Ken! I looked around to find him. I saw his back as he stepped out to the arena. I ran back to Candice and jumped up and down with her.

"We got Ken! We got Ken!"

"Oh stop gloating you too. We lost a good wrestler."

"We didn't pick it Michelle so McCool it."

All the divas laughed at that one. I saw Ken come back. This is where the car crashes. This is where the bad ending begins. This is where it all happens. I firstly walked slowly to him. When he saw me, he smiled. I suddenly broke into a run. I don't know why I did. At this point I felt like I couldn't control my body. Suddenly I felt his arms around my legs holding me up. Then I felt his lips against mine. That's when it happened. That's when we kissed.

END FLASHBACK

"Brings back memories doesn't it?"

I immediately stopped my day dreaming at the sound of an all too familiar voice. The person I planned on hiding from was right behind me. I turned slowly to see him standing there with his things.

I turned to see John standing staring at me.

God. Damn. It.

xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

"I guess you could say so."

I didn't know what else I could say. I knew that 'hey what's up?' was totally out of the question. For a while John and I stood in an all too aquward silence. I figured that nothing else was going to happen, so I started to turn around to walk away.

"Why did you leave Carrie?"

I stopped turning. Damn it why did he have to ask me that question? I sighed as I wiped another tear from my eyes. I turned back to look at him. He looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep the past few days. I looked to see that he still had his ring on. When I saw that it hurt my heart even more. Now I felt even worse then I did before.

"John we went over this…"

"No. We didn't. Our lawyers did. But we didn't. Please tell me Carrie. I need to know."

I didn't want to tell him that I left him because of Ken. That was pretty much one of the man factors that I did. His question made me remember our big fight back at Water and Ice that night on June 11.

FLASHBACK

John was sitting in one of the seats. This wasn't going to be pleasant. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"So you came?"

"Too bad I did. I got to see you hook up with Randy."

"What the fuck are you thinking? We were dancing which you hate!"

"Oh so it's my fault now?"

"What is?"

"You walking out on me in the arena! You kissing Ken! It's all my fault!"

"Actually…it is!"

I caused John to push his chair back that it fell over. He stood up and looked at me. His fists were balled up and his knuckles were turning white. The whole club stopped what they were doing and watched us.

"How is it my fault? We were fine!"

"No. You think we were fine. You weren't the one up at tree in the morning crying over something you didn't know! You're not the one not knowing why you were crying!"

"Well why were you?"

"Damn John I just told you! I don't know! But not that I think about it, let me name off some reasons. You said you would change and you still haven't! You lie to me! You never admit your wrong! Do I need to say more?"

"What about you huh? You were lying to me. All those times you said that everything was fine! I guess they weren't! Tell me Carrie! What's going on in that stupid head of yours!"

The music stopped and the lights turned on. Like people really needed to see what was going on. It was bad enough that everyone could hear us. The next words that came out of my mouth surprised everyone, even me.

"I think you could change for someone you loved. I'm thinking about leaving you and getting a divorce. How's that for thinking?"

I burst into tears and ran off. I pushed people out of my way and made it to the front. I ran to the car I came in and got in. Thank god Torrie gave me the keys. Otherwise I would be walking at this point. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I saw John come out of the club. The stars and club goers emptied out with him. He ran on my side of the car.

"Baby come on! You're not serious!"

I stopped the car and rolled down the window. I faced the man whom I thought was my husband. I saw Ken in the background. He just nodded at me. I knew what I had to do.

"Oh hell yeah I am."

END FLASHBACK

"John please don't make me explain this again…"

"Explain what again? Why you left me? You never gave me a clear reason."

"OK. You wanna know why again? I'll tell you. You cheated on me with Maria. You told me you would change and you didn't. You lied to me John. What else do you need to know?"

"That doesn't mean that you needed to run off and go kiss Ken."

"Maybe it didn't to you. But I know I did it for a reason."

"What is the reason then?"

"I don't know John! I'm just…I'm just better off without you."

OK, that was really harsh. And the moment I heard those words come out of my mouth I knew it. John sighed as he looked up to the ceiling. Then he rummaged through his carry on for something.

"John I…"

John took out an envelope and threw it at me. I caught it before it could hit me. I opened it to see the divorce papers. Had he really signed them? I looked to the last page to see…

That he didn't sign the papers.

"You may think we're over, but I don't."

John stormed off before I could talk to him again. I looked down at the papers once more. He really hadn't signed the papers. I wasn't hallucinating. I looked up at nothing and slammed the papers in one of my bags. Tears were starting to stream down my cheeks. As I stood there I wondered to myself…

What would it take to have him to leave me?

xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Thank you guys so much for being so patient with me! I got stitches last week on my right index finger and it's been really hard for me to type. Please review!

Next chapter: Carrie goes to the divas room only to be greeted by a not-so-happy diva. After that confrontation Carrie goes to Ken's room to be with him. But while she is with him she is caught for being with Ken. But who is she caught by? Stick around!