Perhaps purchasing the home of her dreams (or was it from someone else's?) had been an action taken in vain in the hopes of obtaining some form of comfort. While the whole process from decision to transaction had occurred on nothing more than a spur of the moment, it had thoroughly seemed like one of Addison Montgomery's greater ideas. But upon awakening at five a.m. from a crap night's sleep, she realized that perhaps the idea of purchasing a barren Victorian home in The Middle of Nowhere, Washington, ranked somewhere just ahead of having an extra-marital affair with Mark Sloan.

Or was that a good idea? She could never make up her mind in regards to that one horrid—or was it wonderful?—night they had (almost) spent together before… She would be sick if she kept that train of thought up. Normally she tried to block out all thoughts of That Night and the look on Derek's face, his actions afterward, and all the problems it had caused everyone involved. But the house, beautiful and perfect thought it seemed, gave her an eerie feeling, and atop hormones with already rapidly fluctuating levels, it simply wasn't right.

The place was nice, granted, but its size in relation to the one completely alone individual occupying it was enough to send Addison into terrifying flashbacks of childhood stories involving women locked away in castles, only to be rescued by her true love. Those stories were such nonsense. What exactly was a true love? No one had ever really rescued Addison from anything. She seemed to have always been looking out for herself, and often for those around her, too.

For a while, she had genuinely believed Derek Shepherd was her One True Love, her knight in the cliché shining armor (wouldn't any good knight have scuffed and burnt armor, as a mark toward his bravery, anyway?). She believed that because the two of them both enjoyed songs like "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys, classic films featuring the most deadly of femme fatales, and scrubbing in for surgery, that they were "meant to be." But what did that even mean? Maybe she was meant to be with Mark all this time. After all, the sex was great; he listened to her problems and even offered advice; and he had in earnest offered to raise the child she had conceived by the guy in whose wedding he had been best man. Maybe every mistake she had made with or for Derek had been just a tiny footstep in the right direction, the direction of a slutty best friend and shoulder to cry on. Maybe he was the happy ending to a terrible start.

Or maybe they were both mistakes and neither of them mattered at all.

It was then that the tears came. Half-laughing, half-crying, Addison wrapped herself around an oversized down pillow, clutching it to her body like a life preserver. This fit lasted for several minutes before the tumultuous actions calmed to mere pitiable hiccoughing.

She rolled over onto her back with an angry glare towards the ceiling. "I hate you, Derek Shepherd." She spoke as if she were cursing him to the nethermost regions of hell. It was his fault, she reminded herself with a heavy sigh. Here she was, alone in a huge, cold house, and five months along with the child of a man who didn't want her. Not that she would ever be with him again even if he did want her, of course.

Yet, he still didn't know anything about a pregnancy. He hadn't noticed her slight belly bump. In fact, nobody had. Maybe they all just assumed she had fallen into a pit of despair after he chose Meredith over her, and had thusly accumulated a few extra pounds. Ugh. Addison Montgomery most certainly did not gain weight, and she was not in a pit of despair. Or at least not for the reasons everyone probably thought she was.

She had to tell Derek the truth soon, she knew that. Everyone who knew acted like she didn't understand that Derek should know she was pregnant. She agreed on all fronts that he at least deserved to know that. But what good would come from telling him that it had indeed been his doing, from one of their admittedly miserable sex sessions while they were still trying to make things work? She couldn't think of anything. He would probably hate her, and the baby, for giving Meredith and him even more complications in their already oh-so-dramatic-and-complicated relationship.

But at the same time, what good would Mark be to her? Sure, he loved her. She could allow herself to believe that much. But beyond that, he was still a horndog who was probably trying to woo Meredith Grey, or Izzie Stevens—or any and all other females in the hospital. The fact remained that he could not be trusted with another human life when his own was still in such disarray commonly found in college students, and certainly not in men approaching forty years of age.

Addison sighed again, but this time found the energy to clamber out of bed. Today she was twenty weeks pregnant, and she had an OB appointment first thing. She pulled on her robe, noticing when it came across tighter than she remembered. It hardly fit anymore. She had so far been lucky in that she was still hardly showing, especially when she donned her scrubs and lab jacket. To the best of her knowledge, no one knew that should not know.

As she stretched and yawned, she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen. It didn't last long, but almost sent her double. She shook it off, knowing it was nothing. That had been occurring lately, and not quite infrequently. Still, she figured it may be best to call … someone to drive her to the appointment.

She dialed Mark's number, but received only his annoying outgoing message. He had probably spent the night with Meredith and turned his phone off so they wouldn't be caught. That would be just like him. That thought alone made her unwilling to bother with his pager. But who else did she have? Derek? Right. That would be a good way to let an ex-husband know he was a soon-to-be father, by inviting him to a fifth-month OB appointment. Bad idea. Of course, there was one person who would jump at the chance to please her. In fact, that was his job.

After only a couple of rings, he mercifully picked up. She heard him clear his throat and then groggily croak into the phone, "Karev."

"Hi, Alex it's Dr. Montgomery-Shep … Dr. Montgomery."

"Is my pager dead?" He didn't sound very happy at being awoken at six a.m. on a day when he wasn't due in until noon.

Realizing she had probably disrupted the sleep coveted by interns, Addison decided to be as polite as possible. After all, he had to listen to her while in the O.R., but their personal lives were another matter. "I'm sorry to wake you up so early, Dr. Karev. I just … have a favor to ask, if you wouldn't mind."

He was silent for a moment, and Addison was afraid he would decline before hearing the request. But instead, "Uh, sure. What's up?"

"I have an appointment to go to and I need someone to drive me." Addison wasn't much for beating around the bush.

"An appointment? What kind of appointment? Why can't you drive yourself?"

She had honestly not anticipated any questions. Alex Karev was a no-questions kind of person usually. "With an OB."

"Oh, a consult, right? Okay."

Addison could tell he didn't fully believe her. Why should he? "Not exactly. You see…"

While she struggled to find the words, Karev interjected: "You're knocked up, huh?"

"That's completely inappropriate."

She could almost hear his smug smirk as he countered, "But true. Am I right?"

Through gritted teeth she confirmed that "Yes, Karev, I'm 'knocked up' or … whatever."

"I knew it. Sloan's or Shepherd's? Sloan's, right?" This time, she was sure she could hear the smirk.

"That much is none of your business. Can you take me, or am I wasting my time here?"

"Yeah, whatever, I'll take you. Give me an hour." And without a goodbye of any sort, his phone clicked shut in Addison's ear.

--

Dr. Chris Stacy greeted her the same way he had for the past five months: with a large smile and a brotherly hug. "Still no Derek? Tell him to get his ass in here! Deadbeat." He winked at the last word, as if Derek were the total opposite of a deadbeat. Addison had to remind herself that he wasn't a deadbeat, he just didn't know. "If you're ready, you can come on back."

"I don't have to go back there, do I?" Karev was standing behind her, looking a little confused but mostly repulsed.

Addison shrugged. "It's up to you." Though secretly, she very much wanted someone with her. She was so tired of feeling alone.

Karev must have seen it in her face because he agreed.

"Now, who's this?" Chris asked, looking him up and down with obvious suspicion.

"This is Alex Karev. He's … my nephew." My nephew?! she immediately thought. Where had that come from?

"Isn't your brother younger than you?"

"It's complicated." At least that much was the truth.

Once inside the room, Addison followed the same procedures for an ultrasound as she had before, but this time, it was important.

After a few moments of probing around, the image of her baby filled the screen. Addison felt her heart drop to her stomach at the site of it. This time, she had come to know the sex. And there it was.

"So you're having a boy, uh, Aunt Addie?" Karev grinned maliciously.

"I guess so…" she responded, though the words were robotic. Her mind was elsewhere. She was carrying a boy, a son. Derek's son. A son to carry on the Shepherd legacy, something Derek had wanted when they had been happily married. Something his mother had wanted. Something Addison herself had wanted, but had never made the time to have. And now it was being thrust upon her, and she had to make the decision to tell him.

All thoughts of the pain she had experienced earlier had left her as reality crept in.

"You tell Shep I want to see him soon, alright?" Chris's voice seemed to echo down a tunnel as she gathered her belongings to leave.

"Will do." She forced a smile.

"Take care of your aunt, she's a good lady," he called after Karev as they exited the room.

"I'll keep that in mind." Sarcasm dripped from every syllable, but Chris seemed not to notice.

--

"You should consider taking some time off." Addison turned around to see, of course, Mark catching up with her outside the lounge.

"Why should I do that?"

"Because you look like a whale." He smiled his characteristic broad smile.

"No I don't!" She insisted, then frowned, peering down at her belly. "Do you think so?"

"You're really starting to show," he confessed.

"Could you not speak maybe a little quieter?"

"Sorry," he whispered, grinning. "You should take some time off."

"No."

"It's just a suggestion, don't get hostile." He threw up his hands in mock-defense.

"I'm having a boy," she blurted.

"That's great! Great news. Any names picked out yet?"

"I like Sebastian," she mused.

"Like Derek's grandfather?" He raised his eyebrows.

She glared, though Mark had done nothing wrong. She had walked right into that one. "Why am I talking to you?"

Smirk. "Because you are subconsciously madly in love with me," he stated matter-of-factly.

"You're repulsive."

He leaned closer to her. "Funny how you say that, but your actions completely contradict it all." He straightened up and pretended to compose himself. "Guess who has a second date with Izzie Stevens tonight?"

"I don't care." About that much she was truthful. She had grown quite fond of Alex Karev and didn't want Mark fouling things up for him, too.

"Harsh."

"I have a surgery," she stated with finality, and continued in the direction she had been going.

--

A/N: So this was a long and probably surprising chapter. Who expected to see an update? Lol. I said I'd finish it, and I will.