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A/N: Psychosomatic Definition: When a condition is psychosomatic, that means that it involves both the mind and the body. A psychosomatic illness originates with emotional stress or damaging thought patterns, and progresses with physical symptoms, usually when a person's immune system is compromised due to stress. A common misconception is that a psychosomatic condition is imaginary, or "all in someone's mind". Actually, the physical symptoms of psychosomatic conditions are real, and should be treated quickly, as with any other illness.

*** I'll let everyone make their own decision as to why Andy experienced the blindness.

I just wanted to use a different idea, & that's what I came up with.

Hope you all enjoy, don't forget to review!

Chapter 14

Four Months Later.

Andy had come a long way since the night in her apartment.

She had regular counselling twice a week; attended braille classes and managed to even go shopping with Traci and Sam without causing chaos.

Things at work were good, she had been offered a position in dispatch, and began training but had yet to take any live calls. She missed the streets and the adrenaline, but was happy to still have a place on the force. She was still a cop.

Things with Tommy were better than ever, him still staying sober, and taking a keen interest in being a part of Andy's life.

He came home from his sobriety fishing trip a week after Andy was out the hospital, and Sam and Oliver went over to his apartment and began with small talk before Sam braced the subject of Ray De Silva and Andy being alive, as well as mentioning her newly found blindness, and the fact that they were dating. The latter he merely mentioned in quick passing, feeling embarrassed by the fact that he felt like he was 16 again.

Sam was reserved in his wording as he told Tommy, not wanting to give the man a heart attack before he saw Andy.

Andy arrived at Tommy's half an hour after Sam had told him, with Traci and the minute they walked in the door Andy was pulled into a bone crushing hug.

It had been years since her dad had given her a hug like that, and she relished in the warmth of the long lost contact between them.

Things with Sam had been better than good. They had been dating since the night he came to see her. She cleared up the Luke conversation the next day, putting Sam out of his misery and told him Luke had come by to apologize to her and told her to go after Sam, he was really a good guy and a keeper.

Sam had gone to see Frank about the slip he had, and told him the truth, and had gotten probably the longest speech Frank had ever uttered, along with Jerry and Oliver. But there was never a mention on anyone's record other than that Sam took personal leave. Frank would do random drug tests on a few staff members, and each time Sam's came back clean if he was 'randomly' tested.

Sam & Andy spent nights mostly at Andy's, Sam didn't want to leave Andy alone at his house until she became accustomed to navigating the layout, so they only ever slept there if Sam was off the next day, or had a late shift. Their shifts differed so drastically as Andy was only training three mornings a week at dispatch.

Andy thought sleeping in his bed was better; it was just more comfortable than hers so she never declined the offer.

One such morning she woke, to Sam's arm still draped on her stomach, a sigh of contentment filling the room as she lay listening to him sleep.

Turning to face him, she let her eyes flutter open, content to be enveloped by the sounds of his soft breathing.

So she lay, for a while before Sam opened an eye and smiled at her watching in his direction.

"You should have woken me up, I would have made you coffee". He mumbled between soft kisses of good morning.

"Nope, I'm quite happy". Andy replied biting her lip.

"No to coffee? That's a first".

"Yup, I was watching you sleep".

"Mmm...and that's not creepy. I could feel you staring at me". Sam said playing along.

"Really? Well I was enjoying the view, so I couldn't help myself ". Andy whispered.

"Enjoying the view hey?"

"Uh-hu".

"So you were just lying there, watching me sleep? Taking in the view? Mmmm that's not creepy at all McNally".

"Yup. You were dreaming about me, weren't you? I could see the way you were smiling. The smile you always give me. And I never noticed how long your eye lashes are. They like rest on your cheek bones when your eyes are closed. And there are so many..."

"What?" Sam had propped himself up on one arm watching Andy ramble away, making no sense whatsoever.

"Sam, I was watching you sleep because...?"

"You can see me?" Sam really didn't get where this was going, especially so early in the morning. And without coffee.

Andy nodded, still biting on her lip.

"Wait, you can see me? As in you're looking at me, and can actually see me?"

Andy nodded again while Sam lay frozen by her declaration.

"Seriously?"

"Yes Sam! I can see you and everything else". Andy vocalized her point, yet again.

"Okay, so now we...need to call the doctor?".

Andy let out a fit of giggles at his sudden nervousness and insecurity.

"Nope, not just yet. It's not even six thirty yet. You sound surprised that my sight is back so soon, they did say one day..."

Andy was hesitant by Sam's reactions to her sight suddenly returning.

"Andy, don't even think about going there. I had hopes for one day, but never expected it to happen so soon, and if it never happened, it wouldn't have changed anything. It'd just mean I'd have to tell you what direction to call the kids in".

"Call the kids in? Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself there?" Andy tried to hide the shock now filling her face, but knew she was failing miserably.

"Nope just waiting for you to catch up. One little Sammy and two little Andy's running around doesn't sound that bad does it?"

"Sam! Seriously...?." Andy didn't quite know what to say at Sam's sudden picture perfect future.

"Andy, I've waited long enough to say you're mine. Believe me when I say I'm not letting you go this time, or the next, or even the one after that. I loved you before the whole 'Thing' happened, I loved when you could see, I loved you when you couldn't see, and I love you now that you can see again, a lot more than before, so yes, when you catch up, yes little Sammy's and Andy's running around, yes little wedding bells, yes little whatever you want, as long as I have you, I want the whole happy ever after. And if you say anything now, I will grab you and shove you in a cold shower". Every time Sam said a word, Andy's mouth would flutter open but silence echoed out, she was actually speechless.

"Um…" Her voice wasn't exactly saying a word.

"Shhh" Sam did not want her to overthink anything he just said.

"Uh..."

"Cold shower Andy, I'm warning you". Sam couldn't help but let out a soft laugh at Andy's totally bewildered expression.

"I...I..." Okay, so now she way beyond capable of forming coherent words.

Andy sat up and just stared at Sam. Her eyes were glassy, and her mouth clenched tightly shut as she just sat looking at him, before running a hand to smooth her morning bed hair.

She looked almost in a panic.

"Andy? Andy...?"

Sam was worried as he watched her sit bolt upright, maybe he had over stepped his boundaries, but there was no way she didn't already know what he just said. Or didn't she?

"Um... Back at the hospital... You tried to say that. The night...you..um...came to my apartment you tried to say that? All along you've tried to say that? And I wouldn't listen. I wouldn't hear what you had to say. Oh God I am so dense". Andy was almost crawling away from Sam on the bed as she spoke, but never took her eyes off him.

She let her legs swing off the bed, her feet moving the instant they hit the floor. Down the hallway, down the stairs and into the lounge.

"Andy?"

"How could I do that Sam? How could I not have seen, or heard it? How could I put you through that, and now...you still feel... I have to go". Andy sputtered out before racing up the stairs.

Absently grabbing at her few scattered items lying around Sam's room; she missed the fact that he had followed her up the stairs and now stood in the bedroom door blocking any escape attempt she had planned.

"Andy? Stop okay, you're not leaving. I'm sorry if I said the wrong thing, but it's the truth, so how can it be wrong?" Sam's gaze was more of a hardened stare; Andy felt it burning a hole in her back as she threw her things into her duffel bag.

"Sam…it is not humanly possible to go through what I put you through and still be normal. To still feel the same okay...it's not...I look at my dad and see myself one day, the lonely old recovering drunk he is, because my mom left. I had to leave more than once before, and now…kids and...and white picket fences...and me wasting all that time in your life, I...can't..."

"Andy McNally, if you finish that sentence I swear you will go over my knee and get the hiding of your life. You are not your dad and you sure as hell are not your mother. As for wasting my time, where do you think we would be if I had kissed you outside the Penny the night I told you I'd put Emily on a bus? I would have taken you home and we would not have been here, like this. Or the night of the blackout, if things went any further? That would have been that and you know it as well as I do. Every time I saw you with Callaghan I wanted to punch him in the face, throw you over my shoulder and take you home, but I kept the caveman antics away and do not regret it. I spent like three years of my life pining for you, waiting for you and still do it when you're not around. I do not regret one second of those three years, because it would never have gotten to where it is if either of us had acted on it. I do not regret telling you I love you, or that I want to marry you someday or have kids with you either, coz I don't, I've never wanted to get married or have kids with anyone. Ever. But with you, it just feels right and I want it all. If I have to wait another ten years for one step in the right direction, I'd wait ten years in happiness if it meant I got you every day of forever".

Andy had stopped packing her things and now stood facing the window un-moving, just listening.

"Would you really wait ten years?"

"Andy, I'd wait forever, if it meant somewhere along the lines I'd get a yes".

"The whole mother thing, I...guess that screwed me up more than I thought".

"Andy have you ever seen yourself with Nash's kid, or Oliver's kids or Sarah's kids? No one who acts like that with other peoples kids would ever be a bad mother. I wouldn't dream of having kids with someone I didn't think would be a good mother".

"That's what you were dreaming about? When you were smiling in your sleep?".

"Yeah kinda." Oh so busted.

"Why me?"

"Why you what?"

"Why do you want all that with me?"

"You"

"Yes Sam, ME".

"No McNally. My answer is you. Because you're you, you are just like you are, and when I'm with you, I'm me. The real me. There's no pretending, there's no acting, and it just comes naturally".

"Why do you want to run?" Seemed like a good time to ask her.

"You have the whole future planned out Sam. The perfect future and I'm far from perfect...I couldn't give you the perfect future, the way you want it". Andy turned and sat on the bed, her head hanging forwards, her hair hiding her face. "I have too many imperfections for that Sam".

"Imperfections? I'm far from perfect too Andy, your imperfections make you perfect for me".

"Sam I'm trying to be serious. I'm...just not meant to..."

"To what Andy? To love? To be loved? To accept? Even if it's only accept your imperfections as part of your own personality?".

"All of it Sam. I...".

Sam had stepped forwards to now stand in front of Andy, before kneeling down, holding her knees to stop from toppling over.

"Andy, if this..." Sam motioned between them "this is not what you want; I won't stand in your way, or try keep a hold on you. If this is not what you feel is the right thing, then I won't hold it against you. You need to do what you feel is right to you." Sam leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Andy's temple before standing up and going to the bathroom.

Running the water a little hotter than normal, and a little longer than normal, Sam opened the door to see a billow of steam file out the bathroom into an empty bedroom.

Sam noticed that Andy was gone, having taken her duffel bag with her, when she slipped out. Torn between going after her and giving her space Sam didn't know what to do. Had he put too much pressure on her? Had he scared her off with his hopes and dreams of a future based on what he wanted?

Did he overwhelm her with his dreams, when she opened her eyes to find her sight had returned? Was it too much, too fast?

Sam didn't have the answers, but he was not letting go without a fight.

Sending Nash a quick text he asked her to check up on Andy before leaving his house, the door closing the only sound to echo through a house now empty and filled with heartbreak.

Andy made her way home, hailing a cab right outside Sam's house. She made her way inside, still relatively calm and phoned the doctor for an appointment the next day, considering she had her eyesight back. She grabbed her clothes and made her way to the shower before letting the water run, steam filling her bathroom.

Stepping inside the shower, Andy finally let the tears slip, and mingle with the warm water as she thought back over the last almost three years of her life.

And what she had just given up.

And why she had given it up.

It had to be ultimately the stupidest thing she had ever done.

She was handed everything she ever wanted, on a platinum tray, and she just callously turned it down. Or more like threw it away.

All because she was scared to be happy? Afraid of disappointing Sam? Herself? But she had been happy over the last four months, happier than she had ever been.

So why now?

Did the kids idea spook her so much she had to run away?

Not cool Andy, not cool at all!

Getting out the shower, Andy found Traci sitting on the couch, more than a little fuming.

"Okay girl, you have a whole lot of explaining to do".

Andy moved to put the kettle on as Traci stood in awe and watched Andy move around unhinged.

"Oh my God, Andy can you see?" Traci squealed.

Andy just turned to face Traci and nodded before the silent sobs she held back broke loose.

After over an hour of telling Traci the day's events, between the snivelling of happiness at regaining her sight, and the snivelling of sadness at making another colossal mistake, Andy still felt like crap.

Sam had tried twice to call her, but she ignored the calls, and he never left a voicemail.

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