A/N: Here's next chapter. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks to K8e1, Sophia0665, Westie80, red2013, Christiangirl, handsome-uks, jenny crum, CM Fan and Snowbeardolphin!

I don't own criminal minds!

Chapter 14: Pain

Hotch returned to the hospital within half an hour. He needed to speak to JJ to get confirmation of the team's suspicions. If Griffen had an affair the entire course of the case could change. Hotch didn't want to believe it but he knew from experience that they had to rule out all avenues in order to find the unsub. He just wasn't comfortable with this new lead, but he would rather talk to JJ about it than some stranger. He was just going to talk to her carefully to get some more information about Griffen's state of mind in the months before he died.

Hotch stepped inside the room only to find JJ with her eyes closed and Sara and Tom glued to her side. Lucy wasn't present and Hotch realized she probably went home with one of JJ's friends. JJ needed the rest and the little girl couldn't stay in the hospital all day.

Hotch quietly walked to the bed and motioned to take a chair to sit down when Tom offered his chair. Hotch gave him a thankful nod before he sat down. ''I really have to talk to JJ.'' he announced. ''Can we have a moment, please?''

''Of course.'' Tom replied as he stepped away from the bed. He took Sara's hand and let them out of the room.

JJ sighed deeply as she turned her head to the side, looking at Hotch. Something in his eyes was different. He looked sadder than before and she wondered why he felt that way. For JJ it seemed unnecessary for him to be sad about Griffen's death. ''Do you know anything?'' she croaked out. ''About the shooter, I mean.''

Hotch shook his head in response. ''We have a few theories.'' he started off. ''JJ, I'm going to ask you a question and I need an honest answer. It'll make you angry but the more we know the better we can solve this case.''

JJ barely had any strength left to disagree. Her body was empty as she lay in the hospital. She had been replaying the shooting over and over again. She could feel the blood on her hands, the trembling of her husband's body as she tried to stop the blood loss and the bullet tearing through her chest. But what scared her the most were the eyes of the unsub. They were black. Cold and horrifying. Each time she closed her eyes she saw those eyes flashing before her and she woke up in tears. It was already her worst nightmare and now it was reality. She didn't know how to live with it. It seemed completely impossible. ''Ask away.'' she whispered in defeat. ''It's not like anything will ever justify his death.''

The sound of JJ's voice send a shiver down his spine. She sounded defeated, like she had given up, as if she was ready to die herself. He hated it. He couldn't stand by as she was losing herself. He wouldn't let it happen. ''JJ, please don't give up!'' he begged, nearly confessing his true feelings. He would if it was right, but it would be absurd. She just lost her husband. She had been through a major trauma and he didn't want her to bear that kind of responsibility. ''Talk to me.''

JJ put her hand in front of her eyes as the tears came rushing back to the surface. ''I don't know what everyone wants me to say. What do you want to hear?''

''I want to know how you feel!''

''I feel empty, Aaron. Like my whole world was ripped away from me.'' she cried out. ''I am angry. I am afraid. I am exhausted. But most of all I'm scared that the person who did this will be never caught. I'm scared that he'll come back for me or my daughter. I'm scared as hell to lose another person I love.''

He rose from the chair and sat down on the edge of the bed. He took JJ's hand and squeezed it gently, letting her know he was there. ''You have every right to feel all those things, JJ. The man you loved died. It's your right as a human being to feel whatever you want.''

''I can't sleep, Aaron.'' she explained. ''Every time I close my eyes, I see him. I see Griffen laying on the floor. I'm back in that house every time I close my eyes.''

''I can stay here while you try to get some sleep.'' Hotch suggested. ''I won't leave. I will protect you, JJ. I promise.''

''Didn't you want to ask me some questions?'' she interjected.

Hotch shook his head. ''I think it's more important that you get some sleep.''

''No,'' she began. ''Ask me!'' she said, knowing he needed important information. It was written all over his face and JJ needed to know what was going on. She couldn't close an eye without knowing.

''Okay,'' Hotch agreed instantly. ''Was Griffen behaving differently the past few months? Was he secretive?''

JJ was shocked by the question. What was Hotch thinking about? She really wanted to know. ''He didn't talk about work as much and he was distant a few times, but that didn't last long.'' JJ answered simply. ''What are you insinuating?''

Hotch sighed deeply before he answered that question. ''We suspect he might've been having an affair, JJ.''

''No! No!'' she whispered angrily. ''No! Aaron, no!''

''JJ, calm down.'' Hotch tried to say but she cut him off.

''He would never do that to me!'' she said. ''He wasn't like that, Aaron. We loved each other.''

''JJ, were you aware that Griffen flew down to DC?'' he wondered.

JJ suddenly flashed back to a night two months earlier. It was a night that made her fear for her marriage, but she had decided to keep faith in her husband.

Two months earlier…

JJ was lounging on the couch, her legs spread as she was sipping from a glass of wine. After a busy day she loved to lounge on the couch and have moment of rest. She preferred to do it with her husband but he was busy in their bedroom for unknown reasons to JJ. She sighed deeply as she thought back on her day. It was a normal day, but it had been wonderful as always. She loved the domestic life and she never thought she would be as happy as she was. Everything turned out amazing.

JJ was pulled from her daydream when she heard Griffen coming down the stairs. She immediately jumped from the couch, hoping he would join her to relax for the rest of the evening. Lucy was already asleep so they had absolutely nothing left to do.

Griffen was putting on his coat when JJ walked into the hallway with a shocked expression. ''I have to fly down to DC to meet a client.'' he tried to explain but JJ held up her hand.

''Since when?'' she wondered. ''I thought you had the night off. Come on, stay home!'' she begged.

Griffen closed his coat and picked up his small suitcase and made his way to the door as JJ followed him. ''This is important, JJ.'' he said, feeling his heart break at the knowledge of knowing what he was about to do without his wife knowing. When she would hear the truth, he wondered what it would do to her. He knew it would devastate her completely. It would break her trust in him.

JJ felt disappointed. Griffen had been pulling a lot of late nights for the past six months and she just wanted a decent night alone with her husband. ''It always is.'' she said angrily. ''I get that you have to work. But we both know that Lauren will give this client to someone else so you can have the night off.''

''I don't have time for this, JJ.'' Griffen said, opening the door. ''I have to go.''

''I love you too!'' JJ whispered angrily as he walked out the door and closed it behind him. She walked back into the living room and dropped down on the couch with a feeling of dread. Where was he going?

''Yeah, I knew.'' she replied.

''Do you know why?'' Hotch asked immediately.

''He told me he went to meet a client.'' she answered. ''That's all he told me.''

JJ noticed he was about to continue his questions when she decided to stop him. She didn't want to hear more of his insane theories. She didn't believe Griffen cheated. He would never do it. She believed in him, even now. ''I want to be alone!''