Psyche

Bella

I was beside myself when we found the Volvo. Edward hadn't warned me, I hadn't known what to expect. The smell of Matthew's blood was overpowering. It was hard to tune it out. I couldn't trust myself to breath, let alone to bite Matthew myself. I am still a young vampire and I've never bit a human. I couldn't let myself make a mistake with Matthew. I pleaded desperately with Edward, knowing that if anyone could change Matthew safely, it would be him. I couldn't let Matthew go yet. I hoped beyond hope Edward couldn't either.

I watched, fascinated, as Edward methodically bit Matthew. Edward's mouth and, more importantly, his teeth were at Matthew's wrists, his neck, at his ankles. I lost track of the bites as Matthew started whimpering. I remembered with alarming clarity the last few days of my own human life, the unbelievable burning pain of the change. I knew there was nothing I could do to help Matthew but I didn't want him to feel anymore pain, physical or emotional. If I were able to take on the pain of the change myself for him, I would do so without hesitation even having experienced it before.

Edward knew I needed to get away from the scent of Matthew's blood. He sent me off to get rid of the car. I was sad to see the old Volvo in such a state. I think we had hung onto it all these years out of sentimental attachment more then anything else. I removed the license plates and dumped it in the junkyard of cars one of our neighbors kept. They would never notice the addition of another car at the bottom of pile they already had and even if they did, we would be long gone by then. There was no way to trace it, all the identification was gone. I was glad of the cover of darkness, there were no streetlights out where we lived.

I allowed myself a few parting glances at the lake. I had liked it here. Tonight we would leave it behind. It would be a long time before we cycled back to Coeur d'Alene again. I wasn't sure where Edward would choose to go. I was just happy that Matthew would be with us. God only knew what type of newborn he was going to be. I was glad that the rest of my family was well experienced with newborns. I hoped that I could be a help and not a hindrance to his training.

I could hear Matthew's screams downstairs when I got back. Soon Edward brought him upstairs to me. He needed to be clean for the trip in case he was seen by humans. I tossed all human decorum and stripped him, giving him a good dunking in the bath. He wasn't aware at the moment anyhow. I pulled him into some clean clothes, a tee-shirt and jeans, I think. Alice would probably scoff at them later, but his comfort was more important then style right now.

Matthew was like me, he wouldn't care what he was wearing. It was going to be hard enough for him to get used to how he looked when the change was complete. Already his eyes were no longer the sparkling blue I was used to. It was the one human thing about him that I would be sad to see go. I carried him down to the car, his screams of pain echoing in my ears. I was startled when Reneesme's touch calmed him. I had never thought of such an application for her ability.

Matthew became aware somewhere about halfway through Washington. I had been stroking his hair for a little while now, somewhat to calm my own fears. He groaned, opening his eyes but not moving the rest of his body. My chest tightened, his eyes were a deep violet, edging into red.

"What's happening to me, Bella?" His voice was soft, hoarse, and obviously pained. Reneesme's touch could not numb all of it. Only the changing of his body chemistry was allowing him to even converse with me at the moment. A normal human would not be able to focus on the pain, whatever Reneesme was showing him to calm it, and a conversation.

"Is it time to tell him everything?" I entreated of Edward.

Edward spoke calmly from the front seat, "Yes, though I'm not so sure you haven't figured out some of these things along the way all by yourself, Matthew. If so, you've been very good about keeping them to yourself and I commend you for that. My wife was right about you. She knew even before Alice that you belonged in our family."

"Your wife? You and Bella are married? Is that even legal?" Matthew croaked out.

"Going on fifteen years now", Edward chuckled.

"What...you've been married since you were like four or something?"

I snorted, it was bizarre that Matthew was fixating on this one detail.

"Matthew, I can hear your thoughts", Edward let that sink in for a moment. Matthew didn't seem particularly surprised by that admission. Well, Edward had slipped up an awful lot of times on that one around Matthew, "You know there is something more to this. You don't have to play dumb anymore. We're going to tell you everything, okay. You're one of us now. You'll be with us from now on. We won't leave you behind. We will never leave you behind."

Matthew took a shaky breath, "You mean like the fact that you all haven't aged even the tiniest bit since I met you? And the fact that you never seem to eat excepting Nessie and Jake, of course. But they're different from the rest of you anyhow, aren't they?"

"Yes, Matthew. What is happening to you, what you are becoming, is like Bella and I, like Alice and the rest of the family. When Bella and I found you, you were dying. Your chest was crushed, you were not going to survive. I bit you, flooded your bloodstream with my venom."

Matthew's breath caught, "You're vampires?"

"Essentially, yes. That is what you are becoming, Matthew." Edward's voice held many emotions, "We couldn't let you die. You had become too important to us."

It took Matthew awhile to ask another question, "Will I live on blood?"

"We, all of us Cullens I mean, we live on the blood of animals. It is not an easy life but we will help you."

Matthew shut his eyes, that seem to satisfy him a bit, "So, why Coeur d'Alene?"

"We prefer places with fewer sunny days. And, yes, I know we go out during the day, obviously the sun doesn't hurt us. You'll learn why we prefer overcast climates soon enough." Edward laughed, answering a question from Matthew's thoughts, "I was born at the end of the eighteen hundreds, but Bella isn't so old. She's only been around since the nineteen eighties", he paused, listening to Matthew's thoughts again, "Exactly, although she got pretty close to nineteen."

This conversation was not going in a direction I wanted it to, "I'm not nineteen, Edward. Don't start that again...I'm eighteen and you're seventeen. There is only a year age difference between us."

"You know I just like to provoke you, Bella", Edward grinned from the front seat.

Everyone in the car laughed, Matthew's was a bit strained, but I thought it was a good sign. I was so glad to have all of that out of the way. Matthew seemed to be taking this all okay. Now my only worry was how he would be when he had changed completely. I was glad of my family surrounding him, with their help, Matthew would become like us, I just knew it. He had to.