Nightmare

"So, care to tell me how your date went?"

They were on their way to Mr. Greggs' house, Andy was driving, and Provenza, who simply couldn't take it anymore, failed miserably at posing the question as casually as originally planned. His voice went up giving away both his curiosity and his annoyance. Curiosity mixed with a bit of hope that it went well and annoyance due to the fact that Andy hadn't spilled his guts yet. There was probably a bit of impatience in his tone as well.

It didn't throw Andy, however. He just smirked and gave his partner a short, almost rehearsed, "Nope."

Truth be told, he had expected an interrogation and had already braced himself for a proper grilling, but he had been expecting it maybe even on the night of the date itself, so if there was anything surprising about Provenza's question at all, it was that it took him this long to actually ask it.

"You've been calling each other 'Captain' and 'Lieutenant'." Provenza turned in his seat to pin his partner with a look, that, combined with his tone of voice, basically screamed "What the hell is up with that?"

Andy shook his head, "Well, I am a Lieutenant and Sharon is a Captain," he said matter-of-factly. He knew Provenza would catch on to it, and was prepared for this line of questioning.

"Aha!" Provenza pointed a finger at him. "So it's still Sharon!"

Andy rolled his eyes. "The Captain's name is Sharon, Provenza." He sounded more annoyed than he actually was. In fact, he was thoroughly enjoying pulling his partner's chain. It was still as fun as ever.

"You're an idiot," Provenza huffed and turned in his seat, facing the windshield again. "She's been calling you Andy for nearly two years." He shook his head incredulously.

"Because that's my name." Andy quipped, and shot his partner an amused grin.

"Would you stop it?" Provenza yelled at him, slanting him an angry look.

"You started it, old man." Andy shrugged, grin still in place.

"You know about Patrice! Why won't you tell me about the C-" he stopped and corrected himself, "Sharon?"

Andy threw him an incredulous look, his practiced cool, calm and collected demeanor suddenly vanishing, "I know about Patrice?" He all but yelled the question. "You kept her hidden under a rock for months!" This he shouted.

"No, I didn't," Provenza said defensively and folded his arms. "Besides, that's different."

Andy threw his hands in the air, letting go of the steering wheel for a second, and shot Provenza another incredulous look. But when he spoke he sounded calmer. "Yeah, it is different. I'm not hiding Sharon."

Provenza turned his head to look at him again, eyes going wide, and, now much calmer, too, asked, "It went well then?"

Andy's face scrunched into a short painful grimace, he didn't mean to spill the beans. It really wasn't a secret, even if Sharon would have liked to keep it under wraps until it was all official. But no, that wasn't it, torturing Provenza was just too much fun for it to end so soon. And, to make matters worse, his fun was only cut short because once again he managed to lose his temper with him.

He sighed and turned his own attention to the man next to him. They were at a red light. "Yes, it went well, alright?" And before Provenza could even gear up for a smartass retort or something, he continued. "Look, Taylor's not in town, and we have to report this, so we're just keeping it on the down low until he's back."

Provenza's eyes grew wide again. Surprised that the date went well? Andy couldn't tell until he spoke. "Report it?" Provenza rolled his eyes. "Of course she'd want to report it." He rolled his eyes again.

Andy's voice went up, he was back to sounding annoyed, for real this time. "What?" The light turned green and he started driving again. "She has to! Those are the rules!" His voice went even higher and he punctuated the words by hitting the steering wheel.

"Ye Gods," Provenza threw his head back and closed his eyes for a moment before returning his gaze to the cars in front of them. "She already has you wrapped around her little finger," he let out on a sigh, shaking his head.

"Oh, shut up," Andy grumbled. "I'd like to date her, but I'd also like to keep my job." An agitated frown settled on his face.

Provenza's head snapped back to Andy. "You can lose your job over this?"

Andy shrugged his shoulders, "Well, no, I don't think so. I mean, unless we really screw up, I guess. And even then I'd only have to transfer, I think. It's policy or something, to report it. There are no rules against it though." He waved a hand through the air. "You just gotta report it."

There was a note of worry in Provenza's voice, "Screw up?" He was still staring at him.

"Look," Andy waved his hand again, but kept his eyes on the road, "we're just reporting it to keep it all by the book at work, and that's it. What's the big deal anyway?" He slanted Provenza a look, "It's not like it has anything to do with you!"

Provenza finally tore his gaze away from him, settling it in front of him again. "The date went really well then," he mumbled.

Andy smiled, "Yeah, you could say that." He had no intention of gracing him with any particulars of it.

Provenza suddenly changed topics. "I did not hide Patrice, for God's sake, we're moving in together."

Andy laughed at him and gave him a sarcastic, "Yeah, sure." He then threw his partner a quick look. "Speaking of moving in, dropping your stuff off at Sharon's condo? Really?"

"What?" Provenza gave him a puzzled look. "Did she say something?" Suddenly he was flustered, worried even. "She didn't say anything to me. Besides, the stuff should be on its way out by now."

Provenza worrying about the possible wrath of Sharon Raydor? That was a first. And it had Andy chuckling, only barely containing a full blown fit of laughter. "She'll say something, don't you worry," he assured him.

Provenza rubbed a hand over his face and slumped in his seat. "Oh, my God, you two dating..." He groaned. "It's not even official yet, and it's already turning into a nightmare for me."

Andy wiggled his eyebrows and grinned at his partner again. "Oh, we're just getting started," he said and finally burst out laughing.

With one last, slightly exaggerated groan, Provenza said, "I just might have to retire now."

Just a short bit I'd love to have seen between these two in 4x06. What do you think?