Disclaimer: The characters you recognize aren't mine, they're J.K. Rowling's. She's a freaking genius and I would rather die than take any credit for her characters (how's that for a disclaimer? lol)

And now...the chapter you've all been waiting for!!! (I think...)

Chapter 14: The Marauders' Secret

I found it extremely refreshing to get back into the swing of things at school. I really had no idea how I was going to let James know that I had decided to give him a try. I kept putting it off and putting it off until Tave finally declared that if I wouldn't tell him, she would.

"But you can't do that!" I exclaimed in panic when she told me. "I have to do it, and I'll decide when!"

"Merlin and Agrippa, Lily! I'm getting real tired of you mooning around because you're too damn scared to tell James how you feel," she snapped angrily. "You already know he's madly in love with you, so there's no fear of rejection. I don't see what the problem is! Just make us all happy and get the bloody thing over with already!"

I looked at her in shock. "What's your problem?" I demanded, annoyed at her sudden outburst. "There's no need for you to get all upset over it!"

She sighed. "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm just so worried for Remus, that's all," she said, looking at her shoes. "Tonight's a full moon."

"Oh," I said, completely understanding. "You know he'll be okay. He's been doing this since he was, what, five?"

"Four," she said miserably. "But that still doesn't make it any easier. He's told me how painful and difficult it is, and I just wish there was something I could do."

"I know," I said, rubbing her back comfortingly. "But really, we both know he'll be fine. Besides, you can go visit him in the Hospital Wing tomorrow and make him feel all better." I winked as I said the last part.

"With Madam Pomfrey there? Are you out of your mind?" Tave asked, though she seemed to cheer up a bit.

"There is such a thing as the silencing charm," I said, rolling my eyes. "You know, in case a little snogging session just doesn't seem to do the trick."

Tave looked at me incredulously. "I can't believe you just suggested that," she said, shaking her head. "Lily Evans just gave me some tips on not getting caught in case I felt like shagging my boyfriend in the Hospital Wing. Some Head Girl you are."

I shrugged. "I may be Head Girl, but I'm also a teenager. But just the same, please don't get caught. It wouldn't look good for you or me. Dumbledore would know that I had something to do with it."

"How would Dumbledore know that you practically told me to shag my boyfriend in the Hospital Wing?" she asked quizzically.

"How should I know? Dumbledore just knows everything. It's his job."

Tave just shrugged grinned wickedly at me.

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I made my rounds that night and was surprised that I didn't run into James once. Once we had gotten back to Hogwarts, we treated each other as if "the incident" (as I called it) had never occurred. We would occasionally bump into each other, and I didn't mind the short chats we would have. I didn't see James, though, and I once again had the feeling that he and his friends were up to something, something that had to do with Remus being a werewolf.

I did, however, run into Snape as I made a quick pass through the Entrance Hall.

"Mudblood," he spat when I saw him.

"Why are you out of bed and where have you been, Severus?" I asked wearily. I was much too tired to deal with him.

"I think the question is, rather, where has Potter been?" he shot back.

"He has permission to be up this late, but unfortunately for you, you don't. So it's ten points from Slytherin and a detention."

Snape's lip curled into a sneer. "He has permission to be up, Mudblood, but not out on the grounds."

"This isn't a discussion about James. This is a discussion about you being out of bed past curfew," I retorted heatedly.

"Ooh, touchy, about Potter, are we, Mudblood?" he asked silkily. "Are you his new whore-of-the-week?"

"That will be forty more points from Slytherin," I snarled. "Ten for each time you referred to me as a Mudblood, ten for calling me a whore, and ten for disrespecting James. I'm sure your housemates will love to find out you just lost them fifty points, so get back to your dormitory before I round it up to one hundred and give you detention for a week."

For a moment Snape looked as if he was going to make a retort, but instead he left in a whirl of robes. I let out an exasperated sigh. So much for being nice to him.

But what he had said bothered me. James was out on the grounds? Why? Oh well, Snape probably wasn't even telling the truth. But then again, why would he lie about such a thing? It was true that I hadn't seen James in the castle all night, but the castle was enormous and we could have easily missed each other. Well, there was only one thing I could do. I decided that I would sleep on a couch in the common room and find out where he'd been when he came in.

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I woke up abruptly at five o'clock the next morning when James stumbled through the portrait hole. I gasped when I saw him; he looked terrible. He was disheveled and looked extremely exhausted.

"James!" I exclaimed when I saw him.

He looked at me in surprise. "Lily! Why aren't you in bed?"

"Because I want to know where you were last night," I said determinedly, folding my arms over my chest. "I heard you were out on the grounds."

James groaned. "Who told you that?" he asked, trying to move past me towards his dormitory.

"I ran into Snape last night," I said, stepping in front of him to block his way. "Were you out on the grounds?"

James looked at me for a moment, and I could tell he was seriously debating his answer. "Yes, I was, but I can't tell you why." He moved around me and went into his dormitory, closing the door firmly behind him.

I wasn't going to give up that easily. "James, please," I said gently through his door. "You look terrible. Please tell me where you were."

"Don't worry about me," came his muffled voice. "I'm fine."

"How can I not worry when you come- no, stumble- in at five o'clock in the morning?" I asked exasperatedly. "And looking like shit, too."

"Really, Lily, I'm fine. Go to bed," James said, then I heard him suck in his breath sharply and curse.

That was it. I had had enough. I opened his door without qualms. "What's wro- holy mother of Merlin," I breathed when I saw him. He had his back to me and his shirt was off, and three long, deep gashes were running diagonal across his back. They were dripping with blood.

He sighed when he saw I'd entered

"James Potter, you're going straight to the Hospital Wing!" I exclaimed as I neared him. Damn, those cuts were deep.

"No!" he exclaimed vehemently.

"Why? How did this happen?" I gently touched one and he flinched.

"Never you mind. But you're not to say anything to anyone, okay? Not Tave, not Alice, no one. Got it?" He turned to look me straight in the eye. I met his gaze unwaveringly.

"Only if you tell me how this happened."

"Sod it, Lily!" he yelled angrily. "Don't you get it? I can't tell you!"

"Why not?" I yelled back. "We're friends, aren't we?"

"Yes, but- it's just- dammit!" James was at a loss for words. "It's not my secret to tell, okay?"

I remembered Sirius had said that back in September when he was trying to get out of detention. "What the bloody hell are you and Sirius so goddamn secretive about?" I demanded.

"You'll only worry about it if I tell you," James said adamantly. "Besides, it's none of your bloody business."

"It is too my bloody business!" I contradicted angrily. "We're friends, James, or at least I thought we were. And when you come in here, looking like you were attacked by a freaking hippogriff, you damn well better have a reason."

"I do have a reason, just not one I can share with you!"

"AUGH!!!!!" I screamed in frustration. "WHY?"

"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU!!! IT'S NOT MY SECRET TO TELL!!!" James bellowed.

"And why not?" I challenged.

"Because it doesn't involve just me, and if the wrong people found out about it we'd be chucked into Azkaban!"

I stared at him in shock. "Azkaban?" I whispered. What had James gotten himself into?

"Damn. I shouldn't have told you that." He turned away from me, obviously pissed at himself, and I got another good look at his back. I felt hot tears burn my eyes.

"James, please," I begged, my voice shaking slightly. "If it's illegal-"

"Don't worry!" he exclaimed in exasperation.

"But how can I not? Those scratches are terrible."

"Just don't, okay?" He spoke so emotionlessly that I felt hopeless. I gave up.

"Fine. Sorry I care." I fled out of the room as an angry sob rose in my throat. I slammed the door to my dormitory and flung myself onto my bed. I screamed angrily into my pillow. Damn him! He could be so stubborn.

I laid on my bed fuming until I head a soft knock on my door.

"Lily?"

I didn't answer.

"Lily, I'm really sorry."

When I remained silent he opened my door.

"Get out of my room, Potter," I snarled. "Once again, I ask myself what the bloody hell I was thinking when I asked to be your friend." I saw the look of hurt on his face, but instead of feeling triumphant, I felt incredibly guilty.

"I deserved that," James mumbled, looking at his toes. It was then I realized he was just in his boxers. I willed myself not to look at him; I was supposed to be mad at him.

"No, you didn't," I said quietly, still averting my eyes. "That was uncalled for on my part. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Listen, Lily, I'm going to tell you what happened tonight." James came and sat on the edge of my bed.

"The truth?" I asked, sitting up to look him straight in the eye.

"Yes." His hazel eyes met mine and I knew he really was going to tell me the truth.

"Okay. Spill."

James took a deep breath, then launched into his explanation. "You know Remus is a werewolf. He's been one since he was a really little kid. It's extremely painful to turn into a werewolf, so Sirius, Peter, and I go with him."

"James!" I interrupted, my eyes wide with horror. "Remus is a full grown werewolf! He could bite you or even kill you!"

"No he couldn't." James stood up and began to pace. It was then I noticed all the faint scars he had on him- on his chest, arms, and legs. He had several new cuts as well besides those on his back.

"Merlin and Agrippa," I breathed, getting up and stopping his pacing. I traced one of the scars on his chest with my finger. "How long have you been doing this?"

"Since fifth year."

I bit my lip. "And how have you not been killed?"

"Because werewolf bites don't affect animals. I'm an Animagus."

Whatever I had been expecting was not that. "You're an Animagus?!? But that's- that's extremely advanced magic!"

"I know. Sirius, Peter, and I worked on it for the better part of three years. Secretly, of course. We're unregistered, so if anyone finds out we could easily be sent to Azkaban. But we had to do something to help Remus. We couldn't just let your best mate suffer like that. We go with him, see? To the Shrieking Shack. Remember when the Whomping Willow was planted? It's planted over a secret tunnel to the Shack. Peter transforms into a rat and can slip under the branches. There's a knot on the tree that he presses to stop the branches, and we all go. Sirius turns into a big black dog. I become a stag. We're big animals so we can keep Remus in check. He can't severely hurt us; we're as big as he is. And, like I said before, if he bites us, it won't affect us. We make it easier for him to transform. He stays more sane around us and it's less painful for him." James finished his narrative and for a few moments I couldn't speak.

"You do all that for Remus?" I finally choked out, completely floored.

"Of course. He's one of my best mates." James answered as though it was something anyone would do, and my anger dissolved in an instant.

"Come here," I said gently, taking his hand in mine and pulling him towards out bathroom. "I'll clean you up." I made him lay on his stomach on the floor next to the bathtub, which I filled with water. I then proceeded to wash his wounds as best I knew how. "These are really deep," I said, gently dabbing at them.

"Remus had a really rough night," James said simply as he tried not to flinch.

I turned over what James had explained to me in my mind, and the more I thought about it, the more respect I had for him. He was willing to endure physical pain for his friend. He was risking time in Azkaban because he had become an Animagus, just for Remus. He had spent three years of his life learning to become that Animagus, and he also gave up every night of a full moon. I couldn't believe I had ever thought him a selfish prat.

I finished washing his wounds and bandaging him up, then eyed my handiwork. "Well, Madam Pomfrey could have you fixed up in a heartbeat, but I guess this will have to do," I said, giving him a hand up.

"It's great," James replied. "Better than I could have done. It feels loads better."

I gave him a small smile, which he returned. "I think I owe you an apology," I said after a short pause.

"For what?" he asked, a confused frown appearing on his forehead.

"For everything," I said softly. "For Christmas, especially."

"No, don't-"

"Yes, James, let me do this." I took a deep breath. It was now or never. "To tell you the truth, I've been absolutely miserable since Christmas. I realized something then, and I've been miserable ever since. And I have no idea how to say this."

James looked at me, apprehension filling his face. "Are you trying to tell me what I think you're trying to tell me?" he asked, looking slightly disbelieving.

I decided I might as well just say it. "If you think I'm trying to tell you that I fancy you, then yes, I am." I held my breath as I looked up into his face timidly. I was met by a slow smile spreading itself across his face.

"Are you serious?" he asked as his smile grew wider and wider.

I nodded shyly, feeling a smile creep onto my face as well.

"I just have one question to ask you," he said seriously.

"What?"

"What took you so bloody long?"

He swept me into his arms and I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I wondered myself what had taken me so bloody long. All thoughts flew out of my mind, though, when he kissed me. There was something that made that kiss different from all the others I had ever received in my life. It wasn't driven by common teenage lust; it was driven by love. Pure and simple love. And I knew, right then and there, that this was where I belonged. I belonged with James.

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A/N: :wipes tears from eyes: I'm so happy that they're finally together!!!!! And Lily finally got over her bout of stupidity and did something about the fact that she was crazy about James!!! :sigh: My little Lily is all grown up. lol, I'm hopeless, I know. So now that you've all been moved to tears (lol), what are you going to do? That's right, you're going to click on that great little bluish-purple button in the bottom left-hand corner of your screen and review! I don't care if it's one word or a zillion words, just let me know what you think! Thanks!

I LOVE HUGS: thanks a million bajillion! hmm, truth or dare...that does sound interesting...maybe I'll use that sometime, you never know! Isn't getting reviews just so much fun? It's really addictive, too...lol

Secretly Smiling: I know, it's so true. Thanks so much for your reviews!

taniita: I've been modeling Alice after one of my own friends. When I'm totally irrational and upset and whatnot, Melissa can always calm me down and make me think before I do something stupid. She's got so much insight; I'm totally in awe of her. Don't you just love friends like that?

PhiloNysh: yeah, I would definitely agree that my creative writing teachers are completely off their rockers. All my teachers are nuts :shrugs: But what can I do, ya know? I'm so flattered you like my writing, because I've been told for so long that it sucks. Thanks a ton! Oh yeah, and I hope this chapter helps make up for the last one (I know it was pretty short).

otakuannie: lol. Yeah, in CoS they messed it up. That's what made me originally think that James was a seeker. Crazy movie people, I'm tellin ya. And yes, transition chapters are evil. I find them decidedly hard to write and I just don't like them. :sigh: And yet life goes on...lol...and thanks so much for all your reviews. They mean the world to me!

DanielGilmore: thanks for reading and reviewing my story! I'm totally in love with yours (if you couldn't tell...lol). Ah yes, as I always say, one can never have enough HP. :-D