AUTHORS NOTE

Ok first i just want to say im so sorry i didnt upload last week. i think i worked something like 65 hours and i was drained and just couldnt write. i had trouble working out where i wanted to take the next part of this story. i have this vision of what i want to happen sometimes its just the bits in between i get stuck on. anyway with that being said here is the next part. all characters belong to EL James.

Ana's POV

It's back to school today and I must admit I'm a little anxious about the whole thing. Christian and I only started dating as winter break was beginning so we haven't really done the whole "hanging out" thing at school and I'm worried about what people are going to think. Christian doesn't really have any friends so we are either going to have to sit with my friends, which I'm not sure how he would go with that, or sit by ourselves. I just hope that nobody says anything to either of us. I'm really happy with Christian and our relationship and I don't want anything to come between us. I know that at some point I'm probably going to have to tell him about Dale. I purposely left that part out when I told him I wasn't a virgin because I didn't want him to think of me as some kind of slut despite that fact I know my behaviour and actions suggest otherwise. I guess I'm just worried about what he might think of me when I tell him. He has been incredibly nice to me and he's such a caring person that I feel bad about breaking this saint image he seems to have of me. I was surprised when he told me he was a virgin although with his touch issues I could see why he was.

As I head out the door I notice Christian waiting in the driveway in his car for me. I walk over and hop into the passenger side.

"Good morning beautiful." He says to me as he gives me a kiss on the cheek whilst I blush.

"Good morning to you too." I say as I settle into the car for the ride to school.

It's a quiet ride with a comfortable silence whilst Christian holds my hand as he drives us to school. We pull up in the parking lot and get out of the car making our way inside the building. I notice a few people starring at our hands that are entwined with each other's and as I look over at Christian I notice that he's not even taking any notice of the looks as he finds his locker and begins to put his books in. I stand next to him as he does this waiting for him before he closes the door and we make our way to my locker for me to put my books away. The bell rings and our first class is English so we walk together into the classroom and take our seats to begin the day.

The week seems to go by with the same routine. Get up, get ready for school, meet Christian outside and he drives us to school, spend six hours learning things I'm not entirely sure I'm ever going to use, come home do my homework, eat my dinner, watch a bit of TV then go to bed. Its Friday today so after school Christian is coming over to hang out with me. I plan on telling him about Dale and I just hope that he isn't going to be mad at me. Things just seem so good that I'm really worried this is going to mess things up.

School is over and we make our way over to Christian's car and drive over to my house. We go inside and I notice that my dad isn't home yet which I'm secretly glad about because if this conversation turns into an argument I would hate for my dad to hear it.

"Do you want something to eat or drink?" I ask Christian as I set my bag down on the floor.

"Yeah sure whatever you have is fine with me." He tells me.

"Ok I will put something together for us to share." I tell him as I make my way into the kitchen. I have a look in the fridge and notice some cold chicken and decide to make us chicken sandwiches. I put these together with two glasses of coke and take them to the kitchen table.

"Wow these look amazing Ana." Christian says as we sit down.

"Thank you. I just hope they taste as good." I say.

"I'm sure they will." He tells me and gives me a big smile.

We sit in silence for a bit as we enjoy our sandwiches and I decide that maybe now might be the right time to tell him about Dale despite the butterflies I have in my stomach.

"So I have something that I have to tell you." I say and he puts down his sandwich.

"Okay. Is everything ok?" he asks hesitantly.

"Yeah well no. I don't know." I say not sure how to really say this. He just looks at me and waited for me to continue talking.

"so you know at Christmas when we were at your house and I told you about what your mum had said to me and then we talked about it for a bit and I told you I wasn't a virgin." He nods his head for me to continue. "Well I wasn't entirely truthful with you."

"What do you mean?" he asks me.

"Josh isn't the only guy I've slept with." I say so quietly I'm not even sure he heard me but seeing the look on his face I can tell he did. He looks as if someone just ran over his dog and told him Santa Claus didn't exist at the same time.

"How many others?" he asks me and knowing I have to be completely honest with him I look down.

"two." I mutter.

"Two?!" he yells.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you okay. I just didn't want you to think of me as this slutty person because I promise you that's not who I want to be. I made a mistake with one and the other was honestly me grieving to someone I've known a really long time." I try explaining. He's pacing the kitchen and running his hand through his hair. Something I've noticed he does when he's stressed.

"Why didn't you tell me that night when you told me about Josh? He I understood and wasn't angry about but the fact you've slept with two other guys and didn't tell me makes me incredibly angry with you." He tells me.

"Look I'm sorry okay. Should I have told you? Yes. Do I regret sleeping with them? Yes I do because now here I am fighting with the one person who has truly made me happy since I lost Josh but can I change the past? No I can't. I screwed up okay and I admit that I did but for you to be angry at me for something that happened before we got together is wrong. You can be mad at the fact I wasn't honest with you but as for being mad at me for sleeping with other people I'm sorry but you don't get the right to do that." I say with tears streaming down my face.

"Look I'm going home because I don't think I can be here right because if I stay I know I will only wind up doing or saying something that I regret so goodbye Ana. I will call you when I'm ready to talk." He says and grabs his bag and keys and walks out the front door getting into his car and driving away.

I can't believe how angry he is being at me for this. Things that I did before we got together. I didn't cheat on him for god sake. I'm not exactly happy with myself for the things I've done over the last seven months but I can't change it and he's acting like I can. I guess when I think about it I don't know how happy I would be if Christian had a past but in saying that I wouldn't be able to change it so why be angry?

I spend the rest of the afternoon and night burying myself in homework and study in the hopes of keeping my mind otherwise occupied but nothing seems to be doing the trick. I've tried reading even putting on a movie but nothing seems to make my mind stop thinking about Christian. I just hope that he soon decides to talk to me because I don't know if I can stand us being in limbo like this. The time I've spent with him has been amazing and I don't want that to end over something like this. I just need to find a way to make things up to him and to make him see that now it's only him that I want no one else. Before I retire to sleep I decide to send him a message.

Christian, look I'm really sorry about this afternoon the more I think about it the more I seem to put myself in your shoes and see things from your perspective. If you had a past I don't know how I would feel about that. I think I would maybe be a little upset but again it's the past. I stopped things before we got together so I've never cheated or done anything to make you not trust me. But in saying that I should have told you that night. I shouldn't have kept it from you but I did because I didn't want you to think of me as someone who just sleeps around. I did that once but I felt so horrible afterwards that it was then just one person. I just hope you realise that I never set out to hurt you that was the last thing I wanted to do because this past month with you has been nothing short of amazing and I hope we can continue. I promise I've told you the truth and there are no more people. So I'm sorry and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me so we can move on from this slight bump in the road. Love Ana xx

AUTHORS NOTE: Ok so i hope you dont hate me too much but i thought i would chuck in a little bit of drama. i hope work will be kind to me and i can get up another chapter this week. Have a good day!