Chapter 14: Reunited

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

Bella's POV:

It was Saturday afternoon. I was washing up the lunch dishes, when I heard knocking at the door. Renee was with Charlie at the station, helping to organize his files, because heaven knows he needed the help—badly.

I quickly dried my hands on a towel and went to the door. There was a tall young man standing on our threshold, dressed in ABU desert camo fatigues, his cap in his hand. At first I didn't recognize him, but that shock of black hair and russet skin was a dead giveaway.

My heart flatlined in my chest, and my words stuck in my throat. We both stood there frozen, just staring at each other. Michel ran up to me pulling at my jeans. I lifted him up positioning him on my hip.

I nodded my head. "Jacob ..." I finally uttered, softly.

"Hi, beautiful."

He shook Michel's hand, then gazing at me once more, murmured, "Yours?"

I lowered my eyes. "Yes." It came out as an apology.

Sighing, he looked down at his suede boots. "You're married then."

Pushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear, I finally choked out one syllable "No." I swallowed thickly, wondering what he was thinking. There was such pain reflected on his face.

Looking up into my eyes, he asked, "You didn't marry the father of your child?"

"I couldn't, Jacob."

He straightened up, readjusting his duffle bag on his shoulder "I don't understand, why the hell not?"

My tear ducts betrayed me and the tears started. "I couldn't marry one man, when I was still hopelessly in love with another."

Jacob let out a rush of air, and announced, "That's it, Bells, We've gotta talk. Can I come in?"

I held the door open and he stepped inside. Putting Michel down, I motioned for Jacob to sit beside me on the couch. He placed his duffel bag on the floor near the coffee table, and sat down. Michel ran off to play in his room.

Jacob cleared his throat nervously. He turned his head looking straight at me; his eyes filled with anguish. "I was at a training session at Fort Huachuca and decided to see if I could find you. Maria wrote to me while I was in Iraq and said you were still living with your parents." He hesitated and leaned forward, peering at his hands. One hand then traveled to his forehead, two of his fingers rubbed a trail across his brow. His sudden outburst— although warranted, nevertheless surprised me. "Why, Bells, why? You just stopped writing with no apology—and no explanation. I need to know what the hell happened. I was in love with you, for God's sake. What did I do to deserve that?

"For three years, I've struggled trying to forget, but I can't. It's like you're burned into the back of my mind. Even Iraq couldn't erase you from my memory. So here I am, begging you—waiting for an explanation."

Fidgeting with my fingers, I timidly tried to offer him my reason for the abrupt silence. "Isn't it obvious? I couldn't write to you anymore because ... I wasn't who you thought I was. You had this idea of me as a virgin queen, and I ... I wasn't. Then I got pregnant and I knew you wouldn't want me anymore. I just couldn't tell you the truth; I was too ashamed, disappointing you like that. I thought a clean break would be better; it would hurt you less. So I just stopped writing, hoping that you'd forget about me."

He looked at me, angry now. "Do you think for one minute that I would have given a rat's ass about that? But, no—you made the decision for me. You never even asked for my opinion. You could have explained to me. I would have understood. We could have been happy for the last three years.

"Hell, I've been around nieces and nephews for years. I love them like they're my own. One of the only joys I had over in Iraq was going to the orphanages and playing with the children there. I fell in love with some of them. It killed me when we were given orders not to see those kids anymore after the insurgents threatened to kill them all if we ever visited again.

"I didn't think I'd ever get married, so I even toyed with the idea of going back and adopting one of them someday. I love kids!"

Jacob buried his face in his hands. "Tell me something, Bells. Did you even think about how I would feel, when you cut me out of your life? Did you even think about me at all?"

He looked up, those dark eyes accusing me, as I answered. "Every day for the last three years. I wished that I could go back to that December and make everything all right, but there was no magic that could make that happen. I go back in my mind to that December all the time. It was the biggest regret of my life."

Choking on my words, I said, "I didn't think you'd want me after having a child. It changes you physically. You need to know that, Jacob—my body's not the same." I lifted my blouse slightly and showed him the silvery trails of my stretch marks. Instead of turning away, he leaned toward me and caressed the marks with the side of his nose and left a few soft kisses there.

He proceeded to unbutton his fatigues and pulled his tee shirt to one side exposing several large battle scars near his collarbone. "And that's not even all of them," he muttered. I gasped at the sight, and reciprocated, brushing my lips along the scars.

"I'm sorry—I'm so, so sorry," I groaned.

"You're sorry." His eyes blazed as they bore into mine. "Those years are gone, Bells. Three long, worthless years—all gone!"

"I can't do anything about that now," I sniffled, as I wiped away a tear.

"I can't either," he huffed, "except for this."

He pulled me to him with his muscular arms, squeezing the breath out of me. His lips were in a fevered rush as they glided over mine. I hadn't been touched by a real man for nearly three years, and my body responded explosively. I got up on my knees, pressing closer to him. With one hand I reached around to the side of his head, the other curling at the back of his neck, twisting strands of his black hair between my fingers. Jacob placed an arm at my waist, and held my shoulders still with the other. I never wanted him to let me go. I was feeling alive for the first time in ages.

He broke off the kiss and with his voice cracking with emotion, said, "If you still want me, I'm yours. Tell me now, because if not, I'm going back to La Push.

"I don't care what happened in the past. I've never stopped loving you, Bells—and I don't think I ever will. Can you say that you feel the same way about me … I mean—the way that I feel about you—that you want to be with me?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"Then say it out loud." He cupped his hand around his ear, "I can't hear you. Please ... I need to hear you say it!" He closed his eyes as he waited breathlessly.

"I love you, Jacob Black."

His eyes opened and he sighed loudly. "I waited three long, worthless years to hear those words come from your lips. Let's not waste any more time. Let's make the next years really count from now on. We can't make up for what we've lost, but I'm telling you right now—I am never losing you again."

Jacob's POV:

My throat went dry again as I followed her into the house. She wasn't married, and I hoped her insinuation meant that I was the reason. My stomach was twisted in knots, my hands trembling with nervousness. Try as I might to contain my emotions, the pain I was feeling flooded over my face lighting it up like a broadway marquee. As I loosened my tongue, I explained that I had been at a training session south of here. I didn't want to appear too desperate even though admittedly, that was the case. God, I don't think I could have been more anxious if an RPG was aimed straight at me.

Our eyes never drifted for several minutes, holding an intense connection between us. The air surrounding us sizzled with palpable tension. I couldn't stand it and had to look away. Those doe-like eyes—so innocent in appearance, cloaked the ruthless workings of her mind. How else could she have meted out the lethal blow that stilled my heart?

On my way to her home, I had envisioned how this conversation would go—rational and calm. But powerless to stop it, my hurt feelings exploded, and she jumped at the sound of my voice. I couldn't help it. I had to know what the hell happened.

"I was in love with you, for god's sake. What did I do to deserve that?" I cried, louder than I intended. I continued unloading all of my pent up hurt and frustration, and finally begged her for an answer.

She sat fiddling with her hands, speaking low so as not to arouse my anger again. I immediately regretted my outburst. I took a breath, calming myself, but when she told me her reasons, I came apart once more. Why couldn't she just have told me the truth and let me decide? I loved her; nothing else would have mattered to me at that time. How could she think that a clean break would be so much better in the long run? It just about killed me, as sure as if she pulled the trigger sending a bullet into my chest.

I held my head in my hands and asked if she ever thought about me all that time. Her reply hammered home the worthlessness of the past three years. One look at her though had me convinced that I wasn't the only one in needless pain; Bella had suffered in silence too.

She lifted her blouse slightly, displaying the silvery trails of her battle scars—the scars of motherhood. If she thought that would disgust me, then she underestimated all the carnage I had seen in Iraq. At least her scars were earned by bringing a new life into the world, not ending one. I reassured her that she was still desirable by running the side of my nose along those lines and planting kisses along them.

Unbuttoning my fatigues, I pulled aside the fabric. Sliding the tee shirt underneath to my shoulder, I exposed the physical remainders the war had left on me. Her eyes got wide as she gasped in horror, then brushed her lips over the telltale marks.

"I'm sorry—I'm so, so sorry," she groaned.

My eyelids slid shut as her lips lightly skimmed over my neck and shoulder. I sighed in exasperation as I thought of all the time together we had missed. "Three long worthless years—all gone."

There was nothing either of us could do to bring those years back, but we could start anew. With that in mind, I quickly crushed her to my chest. That sweet mouth was there before me, and I covered it with my own. It was not a tender attempt, but a full-on assault, and no way would I retreat.

My heart was pounding away, but incredibly it began to beat faster as Bella got up on her knees pressing closer to me. She reached out her hand touching the side of my head and I nearly melted on the spot. How I had longed to feel her touch! I was rapidly becoming undone; I had waved the white flag and surrendered my heart.

Her other hand rested at the nape of my neck, her fingers softly threading through my hair. I steadied her small frame, one arm about her waist, the other capturing her shoulder so that she could not escape my embrace. I waited so long for this; I never wanted her to leave my arms ever again. It felt so right! Was she feeling it too? I had to be sure.

My emotions were all over the place; but I had to stop, breaking the kiss. The lump in my throat caused me to strain at each word. Tears were threatening to spill, as I told her, "If you still want me, I'm yours. Tell me now, because if not, I'm going back to La Push."

I confessed that I had never stopped loving her, and knew without a doubt that I never would. Then, I asked her the question that could make or break me. "Can you say that you feel the same way about me … I mean—the way that I feel about you—that you want to be with me?"

She'd never really said that she loved me before, and her answer now was so quiet, I could barely hear it—and I needed to hear it, badly. I wanted her to shout it to the world and let everyone know that she was mine.

"Then say it out loud," I entreated her. Cupping my hand to my ear like a drill sergeant I said, "I can't hear you."

Closing my eyes, I held my breath awaiting her reply. Did she love me? Would her answer relieve me of my suffering, or twist the knife cruelly into my already battered heart?

"I love you, Jacob Black."

Her big chocolate eyes gazed into mine, as they opened. I let the air I'd been holding escape from my lungs, and the words poured out in an emotional torrent.

"I waited three long, worthless years to hear those words come from your lips. Let's not waste any more time. Let's make the next years really count from now on. We can't make up for what we've lost, but I'm telling you right now—I am never losing you again."

Tightening my grip on her, I continued on my mission; seeking out every tantalizing virtue she could offer me. Her lips, her silky smooth skin, her soft wavy hair—everything about her filled my lonely soul so that my senses were reeling.

Oh god, her smallest touch sent a message to every single nerve ending in my body. But suddenly, I became aware of two tiny eyes peering at us. I looked up and there was Michel, staring in wonder. Then I heard a car pulling up into the driveway. Our time alone together was fast coming to a close. I guess it wouldn't be long now. In a few short minutes, I would have to face her parents. Would they accept me, as Bella had? I would soon find out.